DOI Heft:
August 30, 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0090
82
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 30, 1856.
CRIMEAN CHRISTIAN NAMES.
^. N the arrival of the glorious
'v. news of the battle of Alma
|| in this country, a contem-
Jj porary suggested that the
venue of the British victory
might appropriately suggest
a name for the daughters o
Britain. We are informed
by a Registrar of Births,
that this suggestion has bee.■
considerably improved upon
by divers persons, who have
christened children not Alma
only, frit likewise Inker-
mann. To what extent this
idea ha<* been carried out we
do not know, but are quite
prepared to hear of infants
to whom their godfathers
and godmothers have given
the names of Balaclava and
Kertsch. Some children
have perhaps been called
Scutari, and we can imagine,
indeed, that all the localities
iu, or connected with, the Crimea which h>>ve been the scenes of any
transaction redounding to British credit, may have been resorted to for
the purpose of deriving from them denominations for British, babies.
It is not quite so likely that in very many instances a child has been
called Redan.
Alma, indeed, is a pretty, and a truly proper female name in itself;
and there is only one objection to it; an objection to which all the
other Crimean names, considered as girls' names, are equally open.
Some thirty years hence, if not sooner, they will be suggestive of_a
certain date, which, for reasons best, known to themselves, as we will
gallantly say, almost all ladies thirty years old, and not a few under
thirty, do not wish to be known.
There is nothing to be said against Inkermann, applied to a boy, w ho
is expected to live to be a man ; but of course nobody in England or
Scotland would think of Inkermann as a name for a woman.
"OUR LADY OF BOULOGNE."
" Boulogne-sur-Mer, August 25.
" We have had a very pretty show performed here in honour of Our
Lady of Boulogne. The dresses and decorations were so appropriate
to the occasion that, as one of the last French novelties, I should not
be much surprised if it was translated to the Theatrical Furnituie
Warehouse in Oxford Street. Our Lady of Boulogne is, of course,
the especial patroness of this vivacious bathing-place; and is duly
venera'ed by the pious townspeople who, doubtless, owe to her inter-
cession the annual glut of English visitors that, thick as herrings oj
the Scottish coast, come hither to be caught and made the most of.
Our Lady of Boulogne, represented by a miraculous statue, was once
upon a time brought hither in a boat; and at the present hour exer-
"Thus, at the show of Our Lady of Boulogne, I contemplated clouds
of white muslin, in which were young women, women no longer young,
with not a few of ihe sex in black and grey who never had been young.
1 observed with becoming serenity, one stalwart, English female bearing
a banner, very proud, indeed, ot her burden. And still keeping my
temper, I saw a lad robed to personify Him who disputed with the
Elders; and calmly wondered what the boy would for all future time
think of himself as the highway representative of tr>e Light of the
World.
''I did not sneer at the relics borne on the shoulders of youne lady-
pupils, boarded and taught at the full*st and highest, at so many
pounds per annum, at so many of the schools of this abiding-place of
scholarship; I saw without flu ching " the heart, of gold, containing
the band of the ancient miraculous statue" of Our Lady of Boulogne
aforesaid : I saw the entire statue of the Lady in her boat, and was tran-
quil under the infliction; but when I saw a banner on which, in plain
English, Ouk Lady of Boulogne is supplicated to pray for the
Conversion of England, L confess it, I felt the appeal to be a9 untimed
as unnecessary.
"For I should like to s^e or even to hear- of the Englishman, woman,
or child, who—landing here—has not, been in some way converted bv,
doubtless, Our Lady of Boulogne working in the pious and responsive
breasts of tradesmen, lodging-t>ouse keepers, marketwomen, fishwomen,
and all and sundry others ? Why the better half of Boulogne has been
built by such conversion! Brown, Jones, and Robinson converted
into hard cash, turned into so much ready money, a e hoarded in
Napoleons, or invested in houses and lands. The conversion of English-
men stares in the countenance of the grocer, and Jo;>ks comely in the
lac.- of the washerwoman, politely known as blanchisseuse. The one-
eyed old Pomona who under the shadow of St. Nicholas, sells me a
peach for eijihr. sous—a peach that 1 could buy betier for two pence in
i<ear, historic Covent-Garden, still redolent of cabbage-stumps and
Fox and Liberty—that, half-extinguished matron has tor thirty year*
and upwards so largely enjoyed the conversion of England, in the
metallic conve sion of England's sons and daughrers, that she might, if
she would, make offering to Our Lady o< Boulogne, o1 an average crop
of golden golden pippins in a wheelbarrow of virgin silver.
" What need, then, of other conversion ? I therefore calmly, humbly,
but witbal earnestly, solicit Mgr. PEveque d'Arras, de Boulogne, et de
St. Omer, that in any future ce-emony acted under the patronage of
tiis Lady of Boulo'gne, the Conversion of England should be per-
mitted to proceed aft^r the old customary manner, Her Ladyship
merely dealing with the pocket, and renouncing as hopeless, or, as in
fact, unworthy of her attention, the heart and head of heretical Albion.
I lemain, Mr. Punch, your obedient reader,
"Martin Chalkcliff."
GENTLE SATIRES.
If you ask a lady to walk out with you, she first looks at your dress, and then thinks
of her owe.
If a woman holds her tongue, it is only from fear she cannot " hold her own."
Notice, when you ha%'e accompanied your wife to buy a lot of things at her favourite
shop, what ostentatious care she takes of your interest in seeing that you get "the
right change."
How much more difficult it is to get a woman out on a wet Sunday than on a wet-
week day. Can the shut shops have anything to do with this?
The oddest mnemonic curiosiiy is, that a woman, who never knowa her own age,
knows to half an hour that of all her female friends.
A woman may laugh too much. It is only a comb that can always afford to show its
cises her benign influence on the boats of the South-Eastern Companv, iteeth- „ , .. . .
filling them with guileless and gullible English. This is all very well j! ch^omen wiU never be Puuctual- Tlie? SC0Tn the cbarms thU LaBg to a watch"
and, as an Englishman, with a proper reverence for trade in all its ; ' -
branches, I do not object to Our Lady—1 mean their Lady's—daily j
miracles as manifested in that interesting event; the landing of wave-1 Comparison of Speed.
S^Pif gt?r" 6 P°r> t0 thC Bati8/ac,tion an<? ev,en1 t0 ! The ordinary rate of speed is : Per Hour,
merriment of their blithe predecessors, all of whom look and laugh as n, T.; MT) f; ^ , , . , , 10 „
though sea-sickness was a dream and the steward a myth. Our Lady %anrifrlsh 1M-r-» ^,8at. ¥ heels 1 • ' ^.miles-
o! Boulogne, I am willing to believe, fills Boulogne ; and the natives Xl a ieaPot' at a£° d?fai(j s Soiree . . 154
have at least gratitude on their side when they reverence her Ladvship X • a Z°Ulf\at a- lee,tota!ier ? Closed Meeting . . iy
accordingly. Ut a Scandal, going the circuit ot a small country town 66
"I hope I am tolerably tolerant. I certainly do not think the priests ' 9J }fe Whiteside's Tongue, in the first hour . . 40
1 meet hereabouts are invariably the outward types of human devotion. Ut DMo> m the htth hour......45
They do not all seem to have refined themselves to spirit; but now and -
then show a considerable amount of human clav, or dirt, or mud
r it L-faces' smackinS of the aust of Adam very much after the . mutual concession.
1 all. Many of them breathe that peculiar odour of sanctity best The Italian Reformers are very properly called upon to repudiate
aPPrebended by the most delicate nostril. I say, I hope I am tolerant; the dreadful theory of the stiletto. By all means let them—but should
and therefore do not, like young Spoonbill, call these sable persons not the Absolutists first repudiate the dreadful theory—and practice
black-beetles, never meeting one of them without giving a certain —of suborning false witness by the whip ?
scraping action of the foot, as though the poor beetle was never _
trodden upon but to the inhuman delight, of the destroyer. I say I am
tolerant, and can therefore keep my temper when I am desired to A DB0P IN THE EYE-
observe that a certain biped in black is to be considered as a faithful It has been, with some truth, observed by a moral writer, that
fingerpost to heaven; however, looking at the thing, my feelings may drunkenness is a crying sin. It does not, however, always harjpen that
run a little counter to the piety of the general prejudice. the party affected by liquor is affected to tears.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 30, 1856.
CRIMEAN CHRISTIAN NAMES.
^. N the arrival of the glorious
'v. news of the battle of Alma
|| in this country, a contem-
Jj porary suggested that the
venue of the British victory
might appropriately suggest
a name for the daughters o
Britain. We are informed
by a Registrar of Births,
that this suggestion has bee.■
considerably improved upon
by divers persons, who have
christened children not Alma
only, frit likewise Inker-
mann. To what extent this
idea ha<* been carried out we
do not know, but are quite
prepared to hear of infants
to whom their godfathers
and godmothers have given
the names of Balaclava and
Kertsch. Some children
have perhaps been called
Scutari, and we can imagine,
indeed, that all the localities
iu, or connected with, the Crimea which h>>ve been the scenes of any
transaction redounding to British credit, may have been resorted to for
the purpose of deriving from them denominations for British, babies.
It is not quite so likely that in very many instances a child has been
called Redan.
Alma, indeed, is a pretty, and a truly proper female name in itself;
and there is only one objection to it; an objection to which all the
other Crimean names, considered as girls' names, are equally open.
Some thirty years hence, if not sooner, they will be suggestive of_a
certain date, which, for reasons best, known to themselves, as we will
gallantly say, almost all ladies thirty years old, and not a few under
thirty, do not wish to be known.
There is nothing to be said against Inkermann, applied to a boy, w ho
is expected to live to be a man ; but of course nobody in England or
Scotland would think of Inkermann as a name for a woman.
"OUR LADY OF BOULOGNE."
" Boulogne-sur-Mer, August 25.
" We have had a very pretty show performed here in honour of Our
Lady of Boulogne. The dresses and decorations were so appropriate
to the occasion that, as one of the last French novelties, I should not
be much surprised if it was translated to the Theatrical Furnituie
Warehouse in Oxford Street. Our Lady of Boulogne is, of course,
the especial patroness of this vivacious bathing-place; and is duly
venera'ed by the pious townspeople who, doubtless, owe to her inter-
cession the annual glut of English visitors that, thick as herrings oj
the Scottish coast, come hither to be caught and made the most of.
Our Lady of Boulogne, represented by a miraculous statue, was once
upon a time brought hither in a boat; and at the present hour exer-
"Thus, at the show of Our Lady of Boulogne, I contemplated clouds
of white muslin, in which were young women, women no longer young,
with not a few of ihe sex in black and grey who never had been young.
1 observed with becoming serenity, one stalwart, English female bearing
a banner, very proud, indeed, ot her burden. And still keeping my
temper, I saw a lad robed to personify Him who disputed with the
Elders; and calmly wondered what the boy would for all future time
think of himself as the highway representative of tr>e Light of the
World.
''I did not sneer at the relics borne on the shoulders of youne lady-
pupils, boarded and taught at the full*st and highest, at so many
pounds per annum, at so many of the schools of this abiding-place of
scholarship; I saw without flu ching " the heart, of gold, containing
the band of the ancient miraculous statue" of Our Lady of Boulogne
aforesaid : I saw the entire statue of the Lady in her boat, and was tran-
quil under the infliction; but when I saw a banner on which, in plain
English, Ouk Lady of Boulogne is supplicated to pray for the
Conversion of England, L confess it, I felt the appeal to be a9 untimed
as unnecessary.
"For I should like to s^e or even to hear- of the Englishman, woman,
or child, who—landing here—has not, been in some way converted bv,
doubtless, Our Lady of Boulogne working in the pious and responsive
breasts of tradesmen, lodging-t>ouse keepers, marketwomen, fishwomen,
and all and sundry others ? Why the better half of Boulogne has been
built by such conversion! Brown, Jones, and Robinson converted
into hard cash, turned into so much ready money, a e hoarded in
Napoleons, or invested in houses and lands. The conversion of English-
men stares in the countenance of the grocer, and Jo;>ks comely in the
lac.- of the washerwoman, politely known as blanchisseuse. The one-
eyed old Pomona who under the shadow of St. Nicholas, sells me a
peach for eijihr. sous—a peach that 1 could buy betier for two pence in
i<ear, historic Covent-Garden, still redolent of cabbage-stumps and
Fox and Liberty—that, half-extinguished matron has tor thirty year*
and upwards so largely enjoyed the conversion of England, in the
metallic conve sion of England's sons and daughrers, that she might, if
she would, make offering to Our Lady o< Boulogne, o1 an average crop
of golden golden pippins in a wheelbarrow of virgin silver.
" What need, then, of other conversion ? I therefore calmly, humbly,
but witbal earnestly, solicit Mgr. PEveque d'Arras, de Boulogne, et de
St. Omer, that in any future ce-emony acted under the patronage of
tiis Lady of Boulo'gne, the Conversion of England should be per-
mitted to proceed aft^r the old customary manner, Her Ladyship
merely dealing with the pocket, and renouncing as hopeless, or, as in
fact, unworthy of her attention, the heart and head of heretical Albion.
I lemain, Mr. Punch, your obedient reader,
"Martin Chalkcliff."
GENTLE SATIRES.
If you ask a lady to walk out with you, she first looks at your dress, and then thinks
of her owe.
If a woman holds her tongue, it is only from fear she cannot " hold her own."
Notice, when you ha%'e accompanied your wife to buy a lot of things at her favourite
shop, what ostentatious care she takes of your interest in seeing that you get "the
right change."
How much more difficult it is to get a woman out on a wet Sunday than on a wet-
week day. Can the shut shops have anything to do with this?
The oddest mnemonic curiosiiy is, that a woman, who never knowa her own age,
knows to half an hour that of all her female friends.
A woman may laugh too much. It is only a comb that can always afford to show its
cises her benign influence on the boats of the South-Eastern Companv, iteeth- „ , .. . .
filling them with guileless and gullible English. This is all very well j! ch^omen wiU never be Puuctual- Tlie? SC0Tn the cbarms thU LaBg to a watch"
and, as an Englishman, with a proper reverence for trade in all its ; ' -
branches, I do not object to Our Lady—1 mean their Lady's—daily j
miracles as manifested in that interesting event; the landing of wave-1 Comparison of Speed.
S^Pif gt?r" 6 P°r> t0 thC Bati8/ac,tion an<? ev,en1 t0 ! The ordinary rate of speed is : Per Hour,
merriment of their blithe predecessors, all of whom look and laugh as n, T.; MT) f; ^ , , . , , 10 „
though sea-sickness was a dream and the steward a myth. Our Lady %anrifrlsh 1M-r-» ^,8at. ¥ heels 1 • ' ^.miles-
o! Boulogne, I am willing to believe, fills Boulogne ; and the natives Xl a ieaPot' at a£° d?fai(j s Soiree . . 154
have at least gratitude on their side when they reverence her Ladvship X • a Z°Ulf\at a- lee,tota!ier ? Closed Meeting . . iy
accordingly. Ut a Scandal, going the circuit ot a small country town 66
"I hope I am tolerably tolerant. I certainly do not think the priests ' 9J }fe Whiteside's Tongue, in the first hour . . 40
1 meet hereabouts are invariably the outward types of human devotion. Ut DMo> m the htth hour......45
They do not all seem to have refined themselves to spirit; but now and -
then show a considerable amount of human clav, or dirt, or mud
r it L-faces' smackinS of the aust of Adam very much after the . mutual concession.
1 all. Many of them breathe that peculiar odour of sanctity best The Italian Reformers are very properly called upon to repudiate
aPPrebended by the most delicate nostril. I say, I hope I am tolerant; the dreadful theory of the stiletto. By all means let them—but should
and therefore do not, like young Spoonbill, call these sable persons not the Absolutists first repudiate the dreadful theory—and practice
black-beetles, never meeting one of them without giving a certain —of suborning false witness by the whip ?
scraping action of the foot, as though the poor beetle was never _
trodden upon but to the inhuman delight, of the destroyer. I say I am
tolerant, and can therefore keep my temper when I am desired to A DB0P IN THE EYE-
observe that a certain biped in black is to be considered as a faithful It has been, with some truth, observed by a moral writer, that
fingerpost to heaven; however, looking at the thing, my feelings may drunkenness is a crying sin. It does not, however, always harjpen that
run a little counter to the piety of the general prejudice. the party affected by liquor is affected to tears.