DOI Heft:
October 11, 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0150
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[October ii, 1856,
| He may wear the iron around hi3 ank'e, whilst the bloated ovener of
WHAT IT MUST COME TO. j the chain may be permitted to allure others to their ruin, Would this
i be the case, Mb. Pope, were there a stringent law that forbade the
E understand _ that the in- exposure of gold chains on penalty of their confiscation, the proceeds
ceasing amplitude of ladies' to be paid into the police poor-box? What finds passing inmates for
dresses is creating quite a Newgate? Temptation. What fills the bulks? Temptation. And
panic in the millinery trade,! what—we wanted a climax—what urged Mrs. Fitztwentystone to
and that the mistresses _ of immure herself in a round tower of crinoline, cutting herself off from all
many of the fashionable her connections ? Why, temptation. Mrs. F. saw the abomination
establishments have been ia the shop-window, and she became a she-hermit in horse-hair. And
driven more than once to ; we again ask, could this have been but for temptation ?
burnt feathers and the VV> pride ourselves that, being very successful in this life, we poisess
smelling bottle by the state J aD affectionate circle of friends, at whose houses Mr. Punch when he
of agitation into which they jw ill condescend to visit, is an admired, an honoured guest. Never-
have been thrown.^ To meet j theless, we want to know, wherefore should our honesty undergo these
repealed ordeals ? Why should Tomkins (Tomkins gives good wine, but;
is a little ostentatious)—why should he leave under our nose that gold
snuff-box set with diamonds, given by Peter the Great to the ances-
tral Tomkins who first introduced toothpicks into Russia? Why
should we be left alone in Smithers's library with his medals and his
coins, and his cameos? Why is our virtue to be thus insulted? Don'r,
talk to us of moral restraiat. We have often struggled with tempta-
tion ; and could, if we chose, show bruises from more than one fall.
We therefore agree with Mr. PoPf, when he says :—
the requirements of the mode
now prevailing, they have
been already forced to en-
large their business premises
to the fullest practicable
extent; but the demand
upon their space is becoming
so enormous that it is feared
it will soon be sca'cely pos-
sible to meet it. The largest
of their cutting-out rooms is now found so co^trac ed that the manu-
facture of a single dress in it is attended with some difficulty, and if
the "wide wide world" of Fashion does not soon curtail its skirts, and
adopt a mode more moderate, we shall hear of distressed needlewomen
being driven out of doors to find sufficient room to work in. Now that
the diameter of a lady in full dress very closely approaches that of a
travelling Circus, it is obvious that no ordinary show-rooms will furnish
space enough to show her its entire expanse: and it wrould not much
surprise us if the leading West-End milliners were to set on foot a
Private Building Company, to provide themselves with houses of more
suitable dimensions. Indeed, unless some such step as this be taken,
we shall soon be hearing of some enterprising modiste having hired the
Great Globe, or covered in Lords' Cricket Ground as her place of
exhibition.
" Vice is a monster of such hideous mien.
That to be hated needs but to be seen
But seen too ott, familiar with its lace—"
Mr. Pope, however, knows the rest: we "embrace" of course.
But could we embrace, if Vice were not before us? We should hug
nothing better and nothir g worse than empty air. Therefore, because
it, is so very easy, destroy the temptation of the vice. Could young
Bricks have ever accepted those deuced bills for Captain Tipps, biit
for the existence of bill-stamps? Why,no. The argument is conclusive.
Straightway abolish stamps, and without a momtnt's warning to the
clerks, pull down Somerset House.
:Run, Bill—Run and bring Hisabeller!—Here's a
TEMPTATION v. TEETOTALISM.
Ms. Samuel Pope has preached a long letter at Lobd Stanley,
and Lokd Stanley ha» delivered a long answer in return. Pope, a*
the secretary of the United Kingdom Alliance, desires to make it a
penal offence to brtw, distil, import and sell beer, ^.ale ale, gin, wines,
rum, brandy, &c ; all sinful people caught in the fact being liable to
fine, trtadmill, transportation, and wha'ever other punishment the
wisdom and benevolence of the Legislature may invent. Now Lobd
Stanley, as a ready-primed philosopher who, standing upon one leg,
can deliver himself upon any subject from pease-pudding to parpetual
motion—Lobd Stanley makes answer and declares, that what Pope
desires will not, and cannot, be. Upon this, his Lordship, as member
for Lyme-Regis, and ready-primed philosopher upon all points, is
willing to rest his still-increasing reputation m a public mpn; a
reputation that, like the showman's nondescript, increases ^ix inches
every year-, and still threatens never to come to its full growth. Pope,
however, is not to be put down. Pope says: " So long as temptation
exists, certain results always have, and always must follow." Mr.
Pope would, therefore, destroy the temptation of drink, that thereby
leaving nothing to the uncertainty of moral influence, he might
destroy the drunkard. There is great wisdom in what Mr Pope
says with respect to temptation. We are all, more or less, victims Chimley A-Fi-er ..
to it, And therefore, mistrusting moral power, let us destroy temp-! —
tation. Then, most beautiful, because most perfect, would be ail human !
societyl PLEASURE-TRAINS OF THOUGHT.
For instance. Were there no bonnet-shops, no silk-mercers, bow
many a husband would still have cause to "rejoice in the wife of his
youth ? " and how many a wife would in a little while wonde^ that she
could have ever Mfc the least desire for anything beyond a Dunstable
Btraw or a Manchester cotton ?
Is it not shameful, too, that in the halls and passages of city taverns
turtle are suffered to lie upon their backs, tempting alderman and
common councilman with the cost (to say nothing of supervening gout)
of calipee and calipash, when, without such aggravating self-exposure
on the part of the turtle aforesaid, the worthy gentlemen would content
themselves with mutton-broth, or, to admit the wildest possibility, with
ox-tail P
Again, why should bloated wealth dare to mock the necessities of
starveling virtue by crossing its modest path with a chain of red, red
go'd blazing in the sun, and insulting want with the heartlessness of its
splendour? Do not talk to us about the moral check of hone sty. In a
wild moment, of temptation, the victim of penury makes a snatch at that
chain. Well, haply, similarly tempted, he has snatched before, and
the poor creature is condemned to the durance of a long seven years.
The kind, generous souls, who are rough and almost insulting in
their manners, are like the rich man, who, when solicited to relieve
his poor relations, used to fling his old clothes at them, taking good
cam first to secrete money in the pockets.
Happy the mortals, whose building is restricted to Castles in the
Ai —for they know not the bother, when once the bricklayers have
got, into the house, of getting ihem out again!
If it were not for the livery, many a master would be taken for his
own servant!
Aristocracy on the Hail.
Lord D'Eresby, on the. Crieff Junction Railway, gave a few days
since a taste of hi3 quality as engine-driver, " performing the up and
do*n journey within the appointed time." It is said that, at an early
day, on the Great Wes'ern, the Bishop of Exeter will try his hand as
a stoker. Recollecting his old talent for stirring coals, the;e can be no
doubt of his success.
[October ii, 1856,
| He may wear the iron around hi3 ank'e, whilst the bloated ovener of
WHAT IT MUST COME TO. j the chain may be permitted to allure others to their ruin, Would this
i be the case, Mb. Pope, were there a stringent law that forbade the
E understand _ that the in- exposure of gold chains on penalty of their confiscation, the proceeds
ceasing amplitude of ladies' to be paid into the police poor-box? What finds passing inmates for
dresses is creating quite a Newgate? Temptation. What fills the bulks? Temptation. And
panic in the millinery trade,! what—we wanted a climax—what urged Mrs. Fitztwentystone to
and that the mistresses _ of immure herself in a round tower of crinoline, cutting herself off from all
many of the fashionable her connections ? Why, temptation. Mrs. F. saw the abomination
establishments have been ia the shop-window, and she became a she-hermit in horse-hair. And
driven more than once to ; we again ask, could this have been but for temptation ?
burnt feathers and the VV> pride ourselves that, being very successful in this life, we poisess
smelling bottle by the state J aD affectionate circle of friends, at whose houses Mr. Punch when he
of agitation into which they jw ill condescend to visit, is an admired, an honoured guest. Never-
have been thrown.^ To meet j theless, we want to know, wherefore should our honesty undergo these
repealed ordeals ? Why should Tomkins (Tomkins gives good wine, but;
is a little ostentatious)—why should he leave under our nose that gold
snuff-box set with diamonds, given by Peter the Great to the ances-
tral Tomkins who first introduced toothpicks into Russia? Why
should we be left alone in Smithers's library with his medals and his
coins, and his cameos? Why is our virtue to be thus insulted? Don'r,
talk to us of moral restraiat. We have often struggled with tempta-
tion ; and could, if we chose, show bruises from more than one fall.
We therefore agree with Mr. PoPf, when he says :—
the requirements of the mode
now prevailing, they have
been already forced to en-
large their business premises
to the fullest practicable
extent; but the demand
upon their space is becoming
so enormous that it is feared
it will soon be sca'cely pos-
sible to meet it. The largest
of their cutting-out rooms is now found so co^trac ed that the manu-
facture of a single dress in it is attended with some difficulty, and if
the "wide wide world" of Fashion does not soon curtail its skirts, and
adopt a mode more moderate, we shall hear of distressed needlewomen
being driven out of doors to find sufficient room to work in. Now that
the diameter of a lady in full dress very closely approaches that of a
travelling Circus, it is obvious that no ordinary show-rooms will furnish
space enough to show her its entire expanse: and it wrould not much
surprise us if the leading West-End milliners were to set on foot a
Private Building Company, to provide themselves with houses of more
suitable dimensions. Indeed, unless some such step as this be taken,
we shall soon be hearing of some enterprising modiste having hired the
Great Globe, or covered in Lords' Cricket Ground as her place of
exhibition.
" Vice is a monster of such hideous mien.
That to be hated needs but to be seen
But seen too ott, familiar with its lace—"
Mr. Pope, however, knows the rest: we "embrace" of course.
But could we embrace, if Vice were not before us? We should hug
nothing better and nothir g worse than empty air. Therefore, because
it, is so very easy, destroy the temptation of the vice. Could young
Bricks have ever accepted those deuced bills for Captain Tipps, biit
for the existence of bill-stamps? Why,no. The argument is conclusive.
Straightway abolish stamps, and without a momtnt's warning to the
clerks, pull down Somerset House.
:Run, Bill—Run and bring Hisabeller!—Here's a
TEMPTATION v. TEETOTALISM.
Ms. Samuel Pope has preached a long letter at Lobd Stanley,
and Lokd Stanley ha» delivered a long answer in return. Pope, a*
the secretary of the United Kingdom Alliance, desires to make it a
penal offence to brtw, distil, import and sell beer, ^.ale ale, gin, wines,
rum, brandy, &c ; all sinful people caught in the fact being liable to
fine, trtadmill, transportation, and wha'ever other punishment the
wisdom and benevolence of the Legislature may invent. Now Lobd
Stanley, as a ready-primed philosopher who, standing upon one leg,
can deliver himself upon any subject from pease-pudding to parpetual
motion—Lobd Stanley makes answer and declares, that what Pope
desires will not, and cannot, be. Upon this, his Lordship, as member
for Lyme-Regis, and ready-primed philosopher upon all points, is
willing to rest his still-increasing reputation m a public mpn; a
reputation that, like the showman's nondescript, increases ^ix inches
every year-, and still threatens never to come to its full growth. Pope,
however, is not to be put down. Pope says: " So long as temptation
exists, certain results always have, and always must follow." Mr.
Pope would, therefore, destroy the temptation of drink, that thereby
leaving nothing to the uncertainty of moral influence, he might
destroy the drunkard. There is great wisdom in what Mr Pope
says with respect to temptation. We are all, more or less, victims Chimley A-Fi-er ..
to it, And therefore, mistrusting moral power, let us destroy temp-! —
tation. Then, most beautiful, because most perfect, would be ail human !
societyl PLEASURE-TRAINS OF THOUGHT.
For instance. Were there no bonnet-shops, no silk-mercers, bow
many a husband would still have cause to "rejoice in the wife of his
youth ? " and how many a wife would in a little while wonde^ that she
could have ever Mfc the least desire for anything beyond a Dunstable
Btraw or a Manchester cotton ?
Is it not shameful, too, that in the halls and passages of city taverns
turtle are suffered to lie upon their backs, tempting alderman and
common councilman with the cost (to say nothing of supervening gout)
of calipee and calipash, when, without such aggravating self-exposure
on the part of the turtle aforesaid, the worthy gentlemen would content
themselves with mutton-broth, or, to admit the wildest possibility, with
ox-tail P
Again, why should bloated wealth dare to mock the necessities of
starveling virtue by crossing its modest path with a chain of red, red
go'd blazing in the sun, and insulting want with the heartlessness of its
splendour? Do not talk to us about the moral check of hone sty. In a
wild moment, of temptation, the victim of penury makes a snatch at that
chain. Well, haply, similarly tempted, he has snatched before, and
the poor creature is condemned to the durance of a long seven years.
The kind, generous souls, who are rough and almost insulting in
their manners, are like the rich man, who, when solicited to relieve
his poor relations, used to fling his old clothes at them, taking good
cam first to secrete money in the pockets.
Happy the mortals, whose building is restricted to Castles in the
Ai —for they know not the bother, when once the bricklayers have
got, into the house, of getting ihem out again!
If it were not for the livery, many a master would be taken for his
own servant!
Aristocracy on the Hail.
Lord D'Eresby, on the. Crieff Junction Railway, gave a few days
since a taste of hi3 quality as engine-driver, " performing the up and
do*n journey within the appointed time." It is said that, at an early
day, on the Great Wes'ern, the Bishop of Exeter will try his hand as
a stoker. Recollecting his old talent for stirring coals, the;e can be no
doubt of his success.