DOI Heft:
July 16, 1859
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16864#0035
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[July 16, 1869.
that the English Peers went out of their way in demanding protection
for the English soil. In this sense Mr. Punch is a most bigoted
Protectionist, and would impose the largest amount of duty upon those
whose business it is to be our watchmen.
Various matters were talked over in the Commons. Mr. Gregory
brought up the case of Mr. Ryland, who seems to have been done out
of an office he held in Canada, some years back. He appears to have
been treated with remarkable injustice. Mr. Punch, who has scarcely
time to do more than save the country about four times a week, has not
read the documents, but is perfectly satisfied to rest upon the opinion
of Mr. Welsbi', one of the ablest and most right-minded members
of the bar, who has pronounced strongly for Mr. Ryland. Mr. P.
therefore endorses the petition—“Let right be done,” and though the
House did not care to be bored with a mere matter of honour and
justice, it will be wiry times for some folks if Mr. Punch is again riled
in behalf of Ryland. Mr. Collier brought in a Bill limiting the
power of the county court judges to send folks to quod. At present,
if a dirty messenger puts a dirty piece of paper into your hand in the
street, and you, thinking it is an advertisement of Dr. Dirt’s museum,
or something cognate, throw it away and forget all about it, you are
soon afterwards hauled to prison for forty days, on the charge of having
manifested for the county court the contempt you felt for the quack.
A good Rifle debate w-as followed by the defeat of an attempt by Mr.
Alcock to do away with turnpike tolls, and a BUI was introduced to
get rid of the restriction which prevents a Papist from being Lord
Chancellor of Ireland. There will be what is inelegantly designated a
Howling Shindy about this Bill before it is done with.
Wednesday. The sitting was occupied in discussing a Bill of Mr.
Dillwyn’s on Endowed Schools. When these establishments wrere
founded, there was no specific exclusion of Dissenters from their
management, because just then the Dissenter was an uncreated animal,
or, if a specimen of anything approaching the nature of such a creature
lurked about, and read his Bible in ignoble holes, the haughty founders
of schools would have thought it about as necessary to exclude him, as
Mr. Punch, making his will, would deem it needful to provide that no
Gorilla shall be his executor. Things have slightly altered, and the
Dissenters think that they may now be permitted to share in the
advantage of these endowments. It is an audacious prayer; and after
two debates, the question was referred to a Committee.
Thursday. The improvement of the Divorce Court occupied the
Lords, and the Chancellor promised a Bill, Lord Redesdale com-
plaining bitterly that relief was granted to so many miserable wives.
Lord Ripon mentioned that Government had no intention of putting
rifles into the hands of the oppressed nationality called Ireland. In
revenge, in the Commons, there was a long debate about the Govern-
ment mail contracts affecting that ill-used but incomparable country.
Mr. Cowper, enraged at the advertisement pillar lately stuck up at
Hepaquana (as the Erenchman spelt the spot where Apsley House is),
brought in a Bill to prevent such atrocities; and Mr. Scholefield
introduced one for protecting the public against the adulteration of
food, which measure is really a necessity, Mr. Punch's own last volatile
a la supreme, at Richmond, having been by no means what it should
have been.
Friday. Suddenly arrived news that the two Eagles were beginning
to think that they had had enough of it, and that an armistice had been
arranged. So Lord Stratford de Redcliffe, who was about to have
delivered a set speech on the Italian question, announced that he should
abstain from doing so, and was courteously thanked by Lord Gran-
ville. Lord Normanby signified his opinion that Lord Palmerston
was a sort of lieutenant of Louis Napoleon, and that any terms of
peace which the Emperor might approve the Premier would applaud.
Lord John Russell stated that he knew no more about the
armistice than other people. Henry Berkeley made a ballot speech,
which had the merit of shortness. There was a good deal of discus-
sion as to whether England had been offering the German States and,
notably, Prussia, advice not “ to extend the theatre of war,” as Lord
John elegantly put it. It seemed clear that both Malmesbury and
John Russell had been recommending the Prussians to mind what
they were about. Then came the Navy Estimates. Admiral Lord
Viscount Punch begs to inform all foreign acquaintances and others
that he has got 26 steam ships of the line in commission, and 16 steam
frigates, besides IG6 corvettes^ and divers block-ships. Likewise gun
boats. In any emergency he has on shore a force of first-class sailors,
enough to man 12 large ships. And there are a great many more
vessels getting ready, so that, and by the end of the financial year, the
Admiral will have 50 sail of the line, 37 frigates, and 14-0 corvettes.
Friends at a distance, and near, will please accept this intimation.
Be it added that the horrible odour of the Thames has been rather
worse, this week, than anything described in Dante’s I??ferno. Why
does not Parliament move away, pro tem., to Exeter Had? There is
the Great Hall for the Commons, and the Smaller Hall for the Lords,
arid Simpson’s for the restaurant, and the Cigar Divan for the Smoking
Room. Oliver ICromwell would have done it at once, but our
muftisir legislators humbly stop to be poisoned.
THE MYSTERY OF A LADY’S DRESS.
Prom Le Follet of this month, we have the pleasure of learning that
“the robes are generally made with five or seven flounces, the top one
not reaching higher than the knee.” This is extremely moderate, and
husbands, with incomes uuder £300 a year, will be delighted to learn
that the number is so limited. Eor ourselves, we think “seven
flounces ” positively absurd, and you might as well have none at all,
if they are not to go any higher than the knee. We had hoped to
see a lady who was all flounces—a regular muslin La Scala, tier upon
tier of flounces rising right up to the proscenium. The time was,
when you could not distinguish the dress from the profusion of the
trimmings. If they keep falling off in this way, we shall soon be able
to see what the pattern of a lady’s dress is like.
Further on, Le Follet tells us confidentially that “it prefers a skirt
completely bouillonnee, notwithstanding the inconvenience of its
holding the dust.” We do not know what bouillonnee exactly means
W e are perfectly aware that bouillon means broth, but still it is a mys-
i tery to us how any one can prefer a skirt that is bouillonneed all over,
for we have noticed ladies, who at dinner have had a little soup spilt
over their dress, look as though they did not altogether like it; nor
can we see how “broth” and “dust” would go very well together.
Supposing they do, the recommendation of this new fashion seems to
be that it enables every Lady to lie Her own Dust Carrier. The
scavengers ought to be very much obliged to them.
With regard to bonnets, we are informed that “thin bonnets are
usually made with double curtains.” Why not have your bonnet, like
an old four-post bedstead, with curtains ad round it, ? It would be
much cooler, though we have a difficulty in seeing what great use there
is in having a bonnet at all, when you have a couple of curtains to hide
it! We cannot help staring, also, at the notion of a “thin bonnet.”
; The thinness may be in consequence of the weather. The heat is so
j intense, that we can almost imagine a “ chip ” getting thin.
In the way of trimmings, we are told “ a novel and pleasing effect ”
is produced by having “bunches of red currants falling round the
front of the bonnet.” We should be afraid, if the currants were imitated
with the deceptive reality of Zeuxis’ fruit, that the birds would come
and peck at them. The ladies have carried flowers and fruit on their
heads; vegetables will soon follow. The Covent Garden basket-
jealous of the competition.
carriers will be gettin
single-headed shot against double-headed.
“ Two heads are better than one,” says the old proverb. Aegatur.
The French Eagle with its one head has proved itself more than a
match for the Austrian Eagle with its two.
Similia Similibus Curantur.-Is that why mineral waters are
such an effectual remedy for hot coppe's ?
[July 16, 1869.
that the English Peers went out of their way in demanding protection
for the English soil. In this sense Mr. Punch is a most bigoted
Protectionist, and would impose the largest amount of duty upon those
whose business it is to be our watchmen.
Various matters were talked over in the Commons. Mr. Gregory
brought up the case of Mr. Ryland, who seems to have been done out
of an office he held in Canada, some years back. He appears to have
been treated with remarkable injustice. Mr. Punch, who has scarcely
time to do more than save the country about four times a week, has not
read the documents, but is perfectly satisfied to rest upon the opinion
of Mr. Welsbi', one of the ablest and most right-minded members
of the bar, who has pronounced strongly for Mr. Ryland. Mr. P.
therefore endorses the petition—“Let right be done,” and though the
House did not care to be bored with a mere matter of honour and
justice, it will be wiry times for some folks if Mr. Punch is again riled
in behalf of Ryland. Mr. Collier brought in a Bill limiting the
power of the county court judges to send folks to quod. At present,
if a dirty messenger puts a dirty piece of paper into your hand in the
street, and you, thinking it is an advertisement of Dr. Dirt’s museum,
or something cognate, throw it away and forget all about it, you are
soon afterwards hauled to prison for forty days, on the charge of having
manifested for the county court the contempt you felt for the quack.
A good Rifle debate w-as followed by the defeat of an attempt by Mr.
Alcock to do away with turnpike tolls, and a BUI was introduced to
get rid of the restriction which prevents a Papist from being Lord
Chancellor of Ireland. There will be what is inelegantly designated a
Howling Shindy about this Bill before it is done with.
Wednesday. The sitting was occupied in discussing a Bill of Mr.
Dillwyn’s on Endowed Schools. When these establishments wrere
founded, there was no specific exclusion of Dissenters from their
management, because just then the Dissenter was an uncreated animal,
or, if a specimen of anything approaching the nature of such a creature
lurked about, and read his Bible in ignoble holes, the haughty founders
of schools would have thought it about as necessary to exclude him, as
Mr. Punch, making his will, would deem it needful to provide that no
Gorilla shall be his executor. Things have slightly altered, and the
Dissenters think that they may now be permitted to share in the
advantage of these endowments. It is an audacious prayer; and after
two debates, the question was referred to a Committee.
Thursday. The improvement of the Divorce Court occupied the
Lords, and the Chancellor promised a Bill, Lord Redesdale com-
plaining bitterly that relief was granted to so many miserable wives.
Lord Ripon mentioned that Government had no intention of putting
rifles into the hands of the oppressed nationality called Ireland. In
revenge, in the Commons, there was a long debate about the Govern-
ment mail contracts affecting that ill-used but incomparable country.
Mr. Cowper, enraged at the advertisement pillar lately stuck up at
Hepaquana (as the Erenchman spelt the spot where Apsley House is),
brought in a Bill to prevent such atrocities; and Mr. Scholefield
introduced one for protecting the public against the adulteration of
food, which measure is really a necessity, Mr. Punch's own last volatile
a la supreme, at Richmond, having been by no means what it should
have been.
Friday. Suddenly arrived news that the two Eagles were beginning
to think that they had had enough of it, and that an armistice had been
arranged. So Lord Stratford de Redcliffe, who was about to have
delivered a set speech on the Italian question, announced that he should
abstain from doing so, and was courteously thanked by Lord Gran-
ville. Lord Normanby signified his opinion that Lord Palmerston
was a sort of lieutenant of Louis Napoleon, and that any terms of
peace which the Emperor might approve the Premier would applaud.
Lord John Russell stated that he knew no more about the
armistice than other people. Henry Berkeley made a ballot speech,
which had the merit of shortness. There was a good deal of discus-
sion as to whether England had been offering the German States and,
notably, Prussia, advice not “ to extend the theatre of war,” as Lord
John elegantly put it. It seemed clear that both Malmesbury and
John Russell had been recommending the Prussians to mind what
they were about. Then came the Navy Estimates. Admiral Lord
Viscount Punch begs to inform all foreign acquaintances and others
that he has got 26 steam ships of the line in commission, and 16 steam
frigates, besides IG6 corvettes^ and divers block-ships. Likewise gun
boats. In any emergency he has on shore a force of first-class sailors,
enough to man 12 large ships. And there are a great many more
vessels getting ready, so that, and by the end of the financial year, the
Admiral will have 50 sail of the line, 37 frigates, and 14-0 corvettes.
Friends at a distance, and near, will please accept this intimation.
Be it added that the horrible odour of the Thames has been rather
worse, this week, than anything described in Dante’s I??ferno. Why
does not Parliament move away, pro tem., to Exeter Had? There is
the Great Hall for the Commons, and the Smaller Hall for the Lords,
arid Simpson’s for the restaurant, and the Cigar Divan for the Smoking
Room. Oliver ICromwell would have done it at once, but our
muftisir legislators humbly stop to be poisoned.
THE MYSTERY OF A LADY’S DRESS.
Prom Le Follet of this month, we have the pleasure of learning that
“the robes are generally made with five or seven flounces, the top one
not reaching higher than the knee.” This is extremely moderate, and
husbands, with incomes uuder £300 a year, will be delighted to learn
that the number is so limited. Eor ourselves, we think “seven
flounces ” positively absurd, and you might as well have none at all,
if they are not to go any higher than the knee. We had hoped to
see a lady who was all flounces—a regular muslin La Scala, tier upon
tier of flounces rising right up to the proscenium. The time was,
when you could not distinguish the dress from the profusion of the
trimmings. If they keep falling off in this way, we shall soon be able
to see what the pattern of a lady’s dress is like.
Further on, Le Follet tells us confidentially that “it prefers a skirt
completely bouillonnee, notwithstanding the inconvenience of its
holding the dust.” We do not know what bouillonnee exactly means
W e are perfectly aware that bouillon means broth, but still it is a mys-
i tery to us how any one can prefer a skirt that is bouillonneed all over,
for we have noticed ladies, who at dinner have had a little soup spilt
over their dress, look as though they did not altogether like it; nor
can we see how “broth” and “dust” would go very well together.
Supposing they do, the recommendation of this new fashion seems to
be that it enables every Lady to lie Her own Dust Carrier. The
scavengers ought to be very much obliged to them.
With regard to bonnets, we are informed that “thin bonnets are
usually made with double curtains.” Why not have your bonnet, like
an old four-post bedstead, with curtains ad round it, ? It would be
much cooler, though we have a difficulty in seeing what great use there
is in having a bonnet at all, when you have a couple of curtains to hide
it! We cannot help staring, also, at the notion of a “thin bonnet.”
; The thinness may be in consequence of the weather. The heat is so
j intense, that we can almost imagine a “ chip ” getting thin.
In the way of trimmings, we are told “ a novel and pleasing effect ”
is produced by having “bunches of red currants falling round the
front of the bonnet.” We should be afraid, if the currants were imitated
with the deceptive reality of Zeuxis’ fruit, that the birds would come
and peck at them. The ladies have carried flowers and fruit on their
heads; vegetables will soon follow. The Covent Garden basket-
jealous of the competition.
carriers will be gettin
single-headed shot against double-headed.
“ Two heads are better than one,” says the old proverb. Aegatur.
The French Eagle with its one head has proved itself more than a
match for the Austrian Eagle with its two.
Similia Similibus Curantur.-Is that why mineral waters are
such an effectual remedy for hot coppe's ?