DOI Heft:
October 15, 1859
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16864#0164
October 15, 1359.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, 153
THE VATICAN’S THREATENED THUNDER.
Pius Ninth, Pope, to all Our disaffected
Subjects, who, having Our command rejected,
Perverted by heretical opinions,
Want to unite yourselves with the Sardinians,
Bad luck, and apostolic malediction.
Woe, tribulation, trouble, and affliction!
Since you, Our heart paternal sorely grieving,
Our temporal right divine by disbelieving,
(Thus the soul’s immortality denying,)
Deserve Our sentence of perpetual frying,—
We hurl against you excommunication,
And in these terms pronounce your condemnation.
Eoul fall you in your eating and your drinking,
Your yawning, and your nodding, and your winking,
Your talking, and your laughing, and your weeping,
Alike in both your waking and your sleeping,
In your incoming and in your outgoing,
And in your sneezing and your noses blowing !
Ill tide you in your standing and your sitting,
Your snuffing, and your smoking, and your spitting,
In your digestion and your circulation,
And in your breathing and your perspiration,
And all your bodily and mental functions.
And organs—which act under Our injunctions !
Plague on you, in your meeting and debating,
In your discussing and deliberating.
In all your votes, and every resolution,
And in your liberal King and constitution ;
May tire and sword torment you and annoy you,
Pestilence, famine, seize you and destroy you!
Victor Emmanuel We to perdition
Consign, for entertaining your petition.
And everybody else in his alliance.
Who dares to bid Our Holiness defiance.
Anathema! Out of the Church YVe throw ye,
By bell and book, and like that candle—blow ye !
CANT OF TWO KINDS.
The author of the subjoined advertisement, extracted from the
Lamp, seems to hold somewhat more than the doctrine that mendicancy
is meritorious:—
rJ’HE UNFINISHED CHURCH.—£500 are yet wanted, for repayment
A of which, Heaven is the security. Still, my dear brethren, is the Congregation
of Kentish Town your suppliant; still am I ci impelled to appeal thus to your charity
for the love of Him why gave you all. It is for the glory of His name ! Pray, then,
listen. Pray give ! be the amount ever so trifling ; for it is the small sums that
make the large amount, and welcome, indeed, and blessed are the offerings of the
i poor ! Proud may you feel when, with the blessing of God, our Church is finished,
that not only you, but your children’s children may reverence it*as the monument
of your charity. Joyfully shall I announce to you the day on which a Grand High
Mass will be solemnly celebrated for you, its benefactors, for whom the Holy Sacri-
fice is iii>w constantly offered up every Monday.—Your true Brother in Christ.
2, Fortess Place, Kentish Town, London, N.W. Robert Swift.
“ The work in which the Rev. Robert Swift is engaged has our cordial approval
and sympathy. “ N. Cardinal Wiseman.”
To solicit alms on account, of a chapel, certainly, is not a species of
begging which a divine need be ashamed of; but the reverend author
of the above composition goes rather out of his way to imitate the style
and language of a common mendicant, begging off his own hook.
“Gentleman, ar yer got ar a copper to relieve a poor man? do bestow
a trifle. Sir, Gentleman,—do, Sir,—please. Sir,”—is the species of
importunity which is suggested by the appeal of the Rev. Mr. Swift
to the charity of his co-religionists. Apparently, he considers that, not
only is the practice of begging worthy of imitation, but also the lan-
guage which is usually adopted by the followers of that profession.
We are glad, however, to see that he is not too bigoted to borrow one
little piece of persuasive rhetoric from the charity sermon of his
renowned Protestant namesake. “If you like the security, down with
your dust,” said the Very Reverend Jonathan Swift; and he said
no more. He thought that was enough. He did not go on to say that
he was “compelled to appeal” to his “dear brethren,” and to address
them after the pattern of “Do, Sir; pray, Sir.” But one would hardly
be surprised to see the Reverend Robert exhibiting himself in the
street, at Kentish Town, attired in his surplice, as an ecclesiastical
equivalent to the mechanic out of employ, who, wearing a respect-
able white apron, goes about singing “ JFe’ve got no work to do” and
bawling, “My Chr-r-r-r-istian friends, I am sorry to appear before you
in this disgraceful situation.” The unemployed mechanic sometimes
sings a methodistical hymn ; and perhaps Mr. Swift, imitating his
graceful example, with a due difference, would oblige the public with a
Gregorian chant.
Still, begging for one’s Church is one thing, but begging for one’s
self is another; and here is an advertisement from the opposite theo-
logical quarter, which beats the foregoing one hollow in respect of
cant, because the cant of this other announcement is obviously insin-
cere. Read it:—
“ NOTICE.
“ The Ed tor is acquainted with several servants of Christ who, for want of means, are
unable to distribute “The Evangelist ” to the extent they desire. If, therefore, any of
our Christian readers feel that for Christ’s name sake they would like to further this object,
the Editor would feel great 'pleasure in receiving Donations for the pur pose.
“ S3T All orders should be addressed to the Publishers, Mr. -, Welbeek Street,
Cavendish Square, London, W.; or to Messrs.-, Tichbourne Court, High Holborn,
London.”
This is, of course, a mere dodge to promote the circulation of a
religious periodical. It is remarkable for its sordid commercial
irreverence, in which quality it excels “Sanctity of the Grave com-
bined with Economy of Charge.” Therefore, it is more ridiculous than
the maudlin, but enthusiastic appeal in the Lamp, and, of the two, the
more highly calculated to bring religion into contempt.
Consolation.
Mother-in-law. I ’ll be bound that Robert—I’ve lost all patience
with him—never dined with you on Michaelmas-day, my dear ?
Daughter. No, Mamma, but he sent me home a goose.
Mother-in-law. Psha ! Done in a fit of absence, my dear
fair warning.
Says a Dublin paper, “ The Irish Exodus ” (as it is ridiculously,
not to say irreverently, called) “occupies the attention of our autho-
rities.” The Irish Leviticus is likely to occupy the attention of our
authorities, if there is not a speedy change in the “Acts and Duties of
the Priesthood.”
THE VATICAN’S THREATENED THUNDER.
Pius Ninth, Pope, to all Our disaffected
Subjects, who, having Our command rejected,
Perverted by heretical opinions,
Want to unite yourselves with the Sardinians,
Bad luck, and apostolic malediction.
Woe, tribulation, trouble, and affliction!
Since you, Our heart paternal sorely grieving,
Our temporal right divine by disbelieving,
(Thus the soul’s immortality denying,)
Deserve Our sentence of perpetual frying,—
We hurl against you excommunication,
And in these terms pronounce your condemnation.
Eoul fall you in your eating and your drinking,
Your yawning, and your nodding, and your winking,
Your talking, and your laughing, and your weeping,
Alike in both your waking and your sleeping,
In your incoming and in your outgoing,
And in your sneezing and your noses blowing !
Ill tide you in your standing and your sitting,
Your snuffing, and your smoking, and your spitting,
In your digestion and your circulation,
And in your breathing and your perspiration,
And all your bodily and mental functions.
And organs—which act under Our injunctions !
Plague on you, in your meeting and debating,
In your discussing and deliberating.
In all your votes, and every resolution,
And in your liberal King and constitution ;
May tire and sword torment you and annoy you,
Pestilence, famine, seize you and destroy you!
Victor Emmanuel We to perdition
Consign, for entertaining your petition.
And everybody else in his alliance.
Who dares to bid Our Holiness defiance.
Anathema! Out of the Church YVe throw ye,
By bell and book, and like that candle—blow ye !
CANT OF TWO KINDS.
The author of the subjoined advertisement, extracted from the
Lamp, seems to hold somewhat more than the doctrine that mendicancy
is meritorious:—
rJ’HE UNFINISHED CHURCH.—£500 are yet wanted, for repayment
A of which, Heaven is the security. Still, my dear brethren, is the Congregation
of Kentish Town your suppliant; still am I ci impelled to appeal thus to your charity
for the love of Him why gave you all. It is for the glory of His name ! Pray, then,
listen. Pray give ! be the amount ever so trifling ; for it is the small sums that
make the large amount, and welcome, indeed, and blessed are the offerings of the
i poor ! Proud may you feel when, with the blessing of God, our Church is finished,
that not only you, but your children’s children may reverence it*as the monument
of your charity. Joyfully shall I announce to you the day on which a Grand High
Mass will be solemnly celebrated for you, its benefactors, for whom the Holy Sacri-
fice is iii>w constantly offered up every Monday.—Your true Brother in Christ.
2, Fortess Place, Kentish Town, London, N.W. Robert Swift.
“ The work in which the Rev. Robert Swift is engaged has our cordial approval
and sympathy. “ N. Cardinal Wiseman.”
To solicit alms on account, of a chapel, certainly, is not a species of
begging which a divine need be ashamed of; but the reverend author
of the above composition goes rather out of his way to imitate the style
and language of a common mendicant, begging off his own hook.
“Gentleman, ar yer got ar a copper to relieve a poor man? do bestow
a trifle. Sir, Gentleman,—do, Sir,—please. Sir,”—is the species of
importunity which is suggested by the appeal of the Rev. Mr. Swift
to the charity of his co-religionists. Apparently, he considers that, not
only is the practice of begging worthy of imitation, but also the lan-
guage which is usually adopted by the followers of that profession.
We are glad, however, to see that he is not too bigoted to borrow one
little piece of persuasive rhetoric from the charity sermon of his
renowned Protestant namesake. “If you like the security, down with
your dust,” said the Very Reverend Jonathan Swift; and he said
no more. He thought that was enough. He did not go on to say that
he was “compelled to appeal” to his “dear brethren,” and to address
them after the pattern of “Do, Sir; pray, Sir.” But one would hardly
be surprised to see the Reverend Robert exhibiting himself in the
street, at Kentish Town, attired in his surplice, as an ecclesiastical
equivalent to the mechanic out of employ, who, wearing a respect-
able white apron, goes about singing “ JFe’ve got no work to do” and
bawling, “My Chr-r-r-r-istian friends, I am sorry to appear before you
in this disgraceful situation.” The unemployed mechanic sometimes
sings a methodistical hymn ; and perhaps Mr. Swift, imitating his
graceful example, with a due difference, would oblige the public with a
Gregorian chant.
Still, begging for one’s Church is one thing, but begging for one’s
self is another; and here is an advertisement from the opposite theo-
logical quarter, which beats the foregoing one hollow in respect of
cant, because the cant of this other announcement is obviously insin-
cere. Read it:—
“ NOTICE.
“ The Ed tor is acquainted with several servants of Christ who, for want of means, are
unable to distribute “The Evangelist ” to the extent they desire. If, therefore, any of
our Christian readers feel that for Christ’s name sake they would like to further this object,
the Editor would feel great 'pleasure in receiving Donations for the pur pose.
“ S3T All orders should be addressed to the Publishers, Mr. -, Welbeek Street,
Cavendish Square, London, W.; or to Messrs.-, Tichbourne Court, High Holborn,
London.”
This is, of course, a mere dodge to promote the circulation of a
religious periodical. It is remarkable for its sordid commercial
irreverence, in which quality it excels “Sanctity of the Grave com-
bined with Economy of Charge.” Therefore, it is more ridiculous than
the maudlin, but enthusiastic appeal in the Lamp, and, of the two, the
more highly calculated to bring religion into contempt.
Consolation.
Mother-in-law. I ’ll be bound that Robert—I’ve lost all patience
with him—never dined with you on Michaelmas-day, my dear ?
Daughter. No, Mamma, but he sent me home a goose.
Mother-in-law. Psha ! Done in a fit of absence, my dear
fair warning.
Says a Dublin paper, “ The Irish Exodus ” (as it is ridiculously,
not to say irreverently, called) “occupies the attention of our autho-
rities.” The Irish Leviticus is likely to occupy the attention of our
authorities, if there is not a speedy change in the “Acts and Duties of
the Priesthood.”