DOI Heft:
December 31, 1859
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16864#0274
December 31, IrtoH.j
PUNCH, CR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
263
Noble Swell {in scarlet). “ II ark ! By Jove, that’s a find!”
Party {in black). “ ’Course it is, my Lord ! Just the way with them ’Ounds. Draw—draw—draw—all the Morning,
AND THEN DROP ON A Fox JUST AS VUN’s ’aVIN’ VUN’s LUNCH! ”
“ THE GREAT TRIBULATION COMING!”
Breathless Maid-of-all Work to Master of the House (who has done a good
day’s work, and has come home to enjoy himself'!) “ Please Sir here’s the
Waits have bin and called for their Christmas Boxes and as you was not
at home they says they ’ll call again this hevenink and the Beable he ave
bin and opes as ow as you’ll remember of imand the pleaceman he ave
called and when I told im you was hout he says it didn’t siggerfy acos
he says as he could look you hup at henny time and the turncock he
have bin and please Sir he ave left his most respeckful complimuras
and would be glad if you ’ll remember to remember im as usual and
please he opes he says you’ll please te bear in mind he says as there’s
an oppersition turncock as you oughtn’t not to give nothink acos this
man he do all the work and have been hat it hoff and bon nigh nine
and thutty year which he says as it’s a shame to hev the Chrismas
boxeses took out of his mouth leastways that is his pocket and please
Sir here’s the sweep hev bin awaitink down below and I guv him some
cold meat and beer and biled pertators which he ave consumed and he
ave left is card and opes as you’ll stump up leastways that was what
he says but he dint tell me to mention it and please Sir here’s some
potry as was guv me by a dustman which he said as ow he were the
reg’lar proper dustman and he ad n’t been gone long when there come
another rap and please Sir when I harnsers it I sees another dustman
which e ands me this ere potry and says as ow please Sir as he’s the
reg’lar dustman and t’ other’s hon’y a Himporsturer and never as done
nothink lor you and please Sir when he’d gone there come another rap
j and ere’s another piece of potry which please Sir I’m to say as it’s all
his own compojink and that the bother pair of dustmin was a couple of
low blaggards and he ave left his card to show as he’s the mostest
proper one and please Sir here’s the newsman he ave left his compli-
mums and his boy ave likeways called and wished pertickler for to see
you and the grocer’s cart ave been and axed for somethin’ seasonable
and the butcher boy he wants to ave jist arf a word with you acos he
says as how he’ve alius bin pertickler careful of your jints and have
alius seen as you ’ve been cut up fair and andsome and han’t ad your
weight made up with bones and sichlike kitchin stuff and please Sir
here’s the fireman he’ve been kep a waitin and ave ad some bread
and cheese and a couple of pots of beer which I’ma makink im some
grog cos missus han’t no change and she said she knew you meant to
give im suthun and the baker he ave left his best respects and’ll
peraps look in tomorrer and the doctor’s boy have called and opes
you’ll not forgit im and the milkman says as how you alius hev
remembrud of imand so he’ll take the libaty of axing you agin and please
Sir a old ooman as you bought a box o’ matches of she ave come and
left her complimums and opes as you’re quite well and she’ll call
again tomorrer and please Sir Imre’s the gravedigger leastways I
means the sexting he ave halso called to see you which I wus to say
he wishes you’ll enjy a Merry Christm-
[Here Master makes an observation which we dare not print, and
when he sits down to his dinner finds his appetite has left him.
Moral— Sucfj is Life!
Collier's Various Readings.
Mr. Collier has been appointed Legal Adviser to the Fleet. We
suppose it is all right; but any advice that we have ever heard tendered
to a decent vessel by a Collier has always been of a description to make
us wish we were a boatswain’s mate in the neighbourhood of the
counsellor. However, we should be sorry to see Collier get the
sack in consequence of any facetious remark of ours; and we lose no
time in hoping that he is not only up in Black-Stone, but. will prove
a Black Diamond. If not, the Collier will know where to look for
w hippers.
ONE OE THE COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON.
Why is the Marquis of Westminster like I860 ?
Because he’s exceedingly near.
“ When found, to be made a Note of.”—When you find a
Policeman.
PUNCH, CR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
263
Noble Swell {in scarlet). “ II ark ! By Jove, that’s a find!”
Party {in black). “ ’Course it is, my Lord ! Just the way with them ’Ounds. Draw—draw—draw—all the Morning,
AND THEN DROP ON A Fox JUST AS VUN’s ’aVIN’ VUN’s LUNCH! ”
“ THE GREAT TRIBULATION COMING!”
Breathless Maid-of-all Work to Master of the House (who has done a good
day’s work, and has come home to enjoy himself'!) “ Please Sir here’s the
Waits have bin and called for their Christmas Boxes and as you was not
at home they says they ’ll call again this hevenink and the Beable he ave
bin and opes as ow as you’ll remember of imand the pleaceman he ave
called and when I told im you was hout he says it didn’t siggerfy acos
he says as he could look you hup at henny time and the turncock he
have bin and please Sir he ave left his most respeckful complimuras
and would be glad if you ’ll remember to remember im as usual and
please he opes he says you’ll please te bear in mind he says as there’s
an oppersition turncock as you oughtn’t not to give nothink acos this
man he do all the work and have been hat it hoff and bon nigh nine
and thutty year which he says as it’s a shame to hev the Chrismas
boxeses took out of his mouth leastways that is his pocket and please
Sir here’s the sweep hev bin awaitink down below and I guv him some
cold meat and beer and biled pertators which he ave consumed and he
ave left is card and opes as you’ll stump up leastways that was what
he says but he dint tell me to mention it and please Sir here’s some
potry as was guv me by a dustman which he said as ow he were the
reg’lar proper dustman and he ad n’t been gone long when there come
another rap and please Sir when I harnsers it I sees another dustman
which e ands me this ere potry and says as ow please Sir as he’s the
reg’lar dustman and t’ other’s hon’y a Himporsturer and never as done
nothink lor you and please Sir when he’d gone there come another rap
j and ere’s another piece of potry which please Sir I’m to say as it’s all
his own compojink and that the bother pair of dustmin was a couple of
low blaggards and he ave left his card to show as he’s the mostest
proper one and please Sir here’s the newsman he ave left his compli-
mums and his boy ave likeways called and wished pertickler for to see
you and the grocer’s cart ave been and axed for somethin’ seasonable
and the butcher boy he wants to ave jist arf a word with you acos he
says as how he’ve alius bin pertickler careful of your jints and have
alius seen as you ’ve been cut up fair and andsome and han’t ad your
weight made up with bones and sichlike kitchin stuff and please Sir
here’s the fireman he’ve been kep a waitin and ave ad some bread
and cheese and a couple of pots of beer which I’ma makink im some
grog cos missus han’t no change and she said she knew you meant to
give im suthun and the baker he ave left his best respects and’ll
peraps look in tomorrer and the doctor’s boy have called and opes
you’ll not forgit im and the milkman says as how you alius hev
remembrud of imand so he’ll take the libaty of axing you agin and please
Sir a old ooman as you bought a box o’ matches of she ave come and
left her complimums and opes as you’re quite well and she’ll call
again tomorrer and please Sir Imre’s the gravedigger leastways I
means the sexting he ave halso called to see you which I wus to say
he wishes you’ll enjy a Merry Christm-
[Here Master makes an observation which we dare not print, and
when he sits down to his dinner finds his appetite has left him.
Moral— Sucfj is Life!
Collier's Various Readings.
Mr. Collier has been appointed Legal Adviser to the Fleet. We
suppose it is all right; but any advice that we have ever heard tendered
to a decent vessel by a Collier has always been of a description to make
us wish we were a boatswain’s mate in the neighbourhood of the
counsellor. However, we should be sorry to see Collier get the
sack in consequence of any facetious remark of ours; and we lose no
time in hoping that he is not only up in Black-Stone, but. will prove
a Black Diamond. If not, the Collier will know where to look for
w hippers.
ONE OE THE COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON.
Why is the Marquis of Westminster like I860 ?
Because he’s exceedingly near.
“ When found, to be made a Note of.”—When you find a
Policeman.