Punch (37.1859)

September 10, 1859.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

103

Waiter to Old. Gentleman. “ What ’are you 'acl, Sirl"

Old Gentleman, who has been reading the day’s paper straight through. “ Well, let me see—
1st, I had some Ministerial broth ; 2ndly, some of the Talking and Performing Fish ; then I had
some of the French entree into Italy ; and if your joints had been well cut, I might have tasted
them too, but-” [Exit terrified Waiter.

A PALPABLE ADVERTISEMENT.

Some very interesting details have lately ex-
cited the utmost interest on the part of the
public in reference to the Asylum for Idiots,
which admirable institution ought to receive a
contribution from every one who does not think
himself qualified for residence in its comfortable
apartments. But we fear that it will be some
time before any new admissions can take place,
the institution being so inconveniently crowded
with correspondents of the Morning Advertiser.
Two have just been removed thither under
curious circumstances. Their condition was de-
tected by their both furiously insisting that
England was instantly to be invaded by Prance,
and adducing as proofs that “at a recent review,
a Brench officer placed a Rose (emblem of
England) in the touchhole of a cannon” (sic),
and that another Prench officer said to the
correspondent, laughingly, “ that the next cam-,
paign would not be in Lombardy, but in Lom-
bard Street” (sic). With such cases prevalent, it
may easily be imagined that the Asylum is over-
crowded. This, however, should induce the
public to come forward with large assistance
to an institution so evidently needful.

One of the Early Fathers.

What reason is there for supposing that the
Bishop op London is a man of very early
habits ? _ 1

Because he regularly goes to bed at eight, and
rises at eight (a Taite).

Motto for a Cabman.—“ Handsome is, as '
Hansom does not try to ‘ do.’ ”

A Fashionable Proverb.—Heaven sent us i
Woman, and Prance Crinoline. I

MORE SANCTIFIED SLANG.

There exists a periodical of the religious class and baptist order,
bearing the ridiculous denomination of The Earthen Vessel. The
contents of this vessel may perhaps be inferred from the subjoined
specimens of the material encrusting its exterior in the form of adver-
tisements. This is one of them:—

IMPORTANT to those of the Lord’s Ministers who are suffering from
a variety of Diseases. G. Seaborn, Baptist Minister and Medical Botanist, most
respectfully informs the Saints of God, that he has been made a blessing to hundreds,
both in reference to soul and body. Any person suffering from any disorder, may
address a letter to him, stating the symptoms of their disease, the time they have
been suffering, and by enclosing six postage stamps, he will send advice and a
medical recipe. G. S. has recourse to God in prayer before sending out any medicine
or recipe. If help is to be obtained in any case, he engages speedy relief—especially
in Bheumatism, Liver and Bowel Complaints. Direct, G. Seaborn, opposite the
Prince of Wales, Magdalene Street, Colchester, Essex. The Works of William
Huntington sent post free on receipt of fourteen stamps each volume, of G. S. as
above. Books of every description new and second-hand.

G. S. is open to Supply any destitute Church of Strict Baptist principles.

Upon our word, this is no burlesque of an example of sanctified
slang. It has been cut bodily out of the light brown wrapper of the
Earthen Vessel of August 1st, of this present year of Grace, whereof
G. Seaborn appears to be a precious babe. Let not the Sabbatarians,
who misjudge Punch because Punch confutes their fanaticism, think
that “G. Seaborn, Baptist Minister and Medical Botanist, most
respectfully informs the Saints,” &c., is a profane parody, for the
authorship of which Mr. Punch is responsible, and ought to be put in
the stocks. They are mistaken if they imagine that Punch is irreve-
rent enough to caricature the most hypocritical snuffle with that degree
of grossness involved in the announcement that “ G. S. has recourse
to, &c. &c., before sending out any medicine or recipe.” The words
here quoted, as well as those omitted, are no exaggeration, and G.
Seaborn is entitled, to all the credit for ludicrousness which can be
given to the assurance that “ if help is to be obtained in any case, he
engages speedy relief—especially in Rheumatism, Liver, and Bowel
Complaints.” The idea that G. Seaborn’s prayers have a peculiar
efficacy iu rheumatism, jaundice, diarrhoea, and colic, will be deemed a
high joke by our readers—we assure them that the idea, if not the
joke, is G. Seaborn’s own. It will be observed, that whatever may be
G. Seaborn’s botanical knowledge, his literary attainments are not
those which are befitting any Minister but a member of a Cabinet that

might be constructed by Lord Malmesbury. When he says that any;
person may address a letter to him stating the. symptoms of their j
disease, he proves himself indeed to be no Unitarian, though he does!
not write, we hope, like the generality of baptist ministers. If his :
grammar were trustworthy, his correspondents would be numerous,;
believing his promise that “ by enclosing six postage stamps he will'
send advice and a medical recipe.” Six postage stamps are a.pre-;
scription that anybody would take if he could get it by merely writing.
for it at the expense of one. The notification that G. S. undertakes to
send the “Works of William Huntington” on certain conditions,
is remarkable. William Huntington was a canting coal-heaver, as *
G. S. probably knows ; a coal-heaver, who may have heaved sea-borne
coals. He wore what may be called a collar of S. S., or at least went:
about with the letters S. S. marked upon some part of his dress, if not ■
on his collar. By those initials he meant “Sinner Saved,” as G. S.'
probably also knows. But G. S. perhaps does not know that a famous:
wag interpreted them to signify Sad Scoundrel. The less G. S. says:
in future about William Huntington the better.

“ Destitute Churches of Strict Baptist principles” may he puzzled-
to understand what it is that G. S. is “open to Supply” them. with. \
He is not, as a botanist, literally full of herbs, and as a baptist minister >
there seems to be nothing in him. f

Literee Seriptee Manent.

There are thousands of letters taken yearly to the Post Office, and
left there, because they have no addresses on them.. Supposing the
letters had the power of articulation, we can fancy their taking up part:
of the City motto, and exclaiming, “Dirige Nos.” .

PROMPT FELLOW-FEELING.

“ Pour Chili Citizens,” write to the Times, demanding English :
sympathy. They have it. Let them note the sudden drop in the ;
thermometer.

j

“ All the World’s a Stage.”—The life of a Miser is a bad :
drama, the only point of which is in the end. All the effects are |
crammed into the “tag.” 1