Punch (37.1859)

November 12, 1859.J

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

193

IMPORTANT NOTICE.—QUITE NECESSARY !

A SURGICAL SLAVE TO A FREE HOSPITAL.

Mr. Punch has received a paper purporting to be a copy of the
Rules and Regulations Established for the Guidance of the House-
Surgeon of the Samaritan Free Hospital for Women and Children, 18,
Edwards Street, Portman Square. If Mr. Punch were asked to guess
the authors of this contemptible code, he would conjecture that it was
drawn up by a Select Committee composed of the greatest snobs and
fools in Marylebone.

The first of these rules declares that—

“ I. In regard to the appointment of the House-Surgeon,

“ 1. He shall be qualified to register under the New Medical Act.”

The framers of these rules, then, want, for their House-Surgeon, a
practitioner who has passed his examinations. They expect to get one
by the following temptation

“ 2 He shall receive no salary, but his board and lodgiug in return for bis
services.”

Could any one of them hire a knife-boy on sucli terms ?

These fellows appear to be alive to the probability that any surgeon
having accepted their vile situation, might very soon get tired of it,
and wish to cut it. So they stipulate that—

“ 3. He shall accept the appointment for not less than a year, but his period of
service may extend beyond that term.”

And it is just possible that lie may be willing that it should extend
beyond that term. The House-Surgeon may be penniless, and unable
to earn an abode and his victuals out of the House. But, as his
masters may wish to turn him out, for reasons of their own, and if not,
still in order that he may lie at their mercy, and exist, officially, in the
breath of their nostrils, the above regulation concludes with the fol-
lowing proviso:—

“ At the same time he shall hold office only during the pleasure of the Managing
Committee.”

Observe the royal style affected by these petty despots. Their sub-
ject and servant, the House-Surgeon, is to “hold office” only “ during
their pleasure.” What pleasure ? The pleasure, perhaps, which they
expect their slave to afford them, by capping to them, and cringing, to
t hem, and trembling before them, and worshipping them, and walking
in their faith and fear. Such is very usually the sort of pleasure which
Hospital Committees require House-Surgeons to yield them ; and the
Managing Committee of the Samaritan Free Hospital are indicated by
these rules of theirs to be a set of mean tyrants considerably more
arbitrary and insolent than even the common run of Hospital Com-
mitteemen.

By the next rule for the “guidance” of their surgical slavey,

“ 4. He must give three months’ notice of his intended resignation or retirement.”

They may kick him out at their pleasure, at a moment’s notice; but
if he wishes to quit their service, he must give them three months’
warning.

Now come arrangements

“ II. In regard to his personal accommodation in the Hospital,

“ 1. He shall have the two back-rooms in the upper storey as his sitting and

bed-rooms.”

This looks very much like the description of a suite of garrets.
Next—

“ 2. He shall take his breakfast with the Matron before half-past 9, and his dinner
and tea after 5 in the afternoon, in the Board Room : his luncheon only to be carried
up-stairs to him in his sitting-room.”

These are the paltry requirements and restrictions under which it
pleases these domineering snobs to place the private habits of a gen-
tleman. If they had not distinctly stated that they wanted a qualified
practitioner for their drudge, one would have concluded the object
contemplated in these despicable ordinances was not a surgeon, but a
surgery-boy. But next to these small statutes come the regulations
relative to the House-Surgeon’s duties, which are of the usual respon-
sible and arduous kind, and include attendance on patients in the
absence of the superior medical officers. Close residence is required.
Smoking is prohibited, of course—not because smoking within the walls
might injure patients; but because old curmudgeons nave an idea that
smoking is an exhibition of independence, and therefore invariably for-
bid indulgence in it to every young man whom they have in their
power. Their blackguardly table of rules concludes with this standing
insult :—

“ 11. Any directions the House-Surgeon may have to give to the General Servants
of the Hospital, are to pass through the Matron.”

and this precious standing order :—

“ 12. He shall observe all orders of the Managing or House Committee.'

This beats everything. The Committee are to exercise over the
House-Surgeon an authority which is quite divine. He shall serve
them with all his strength. He shall observe all their orders—to do
them. He shall answer their bell, fetch their coals and hot water;
brush their clothes and black their boots. Now, what motive do they
suppose can induce any young surgeon who understands his profession
to subject himself to their disgusting domination, and accept for remu-
neration his keep, coupled with the necessity of taking his meals with
an old woman, and his lodging, to consist of two back-rooms in the
roof of their hospital ? He can have none but imminent starvation, or
the need of opportunity of seeing practice, which he ought not to be in
such extreme want of as lie must be to be willing to endure the hard
conditions above specified. The Governors of every Infirmary, and
particularly those of the Samaritan Free Hospital, should look sharp
after their Committees and take care that the efficiency of their Charity
is not compromised by a board of overbearing, insolent, patronising,
self-interested and vulgar beadles.

OUR CHINESE CEREMONIES.

The behaviour of Mr. Ward, American Envoy to China at Pekin,
was such as to give every true Englishman cause to be proud of. his
country. In the account of that minister’s visit to the Chinese capital,
which appeared in the North China Herald touching the question as
to what obeisance should be rendered to the Emperor, there occurs
the following passage, the first word of which relates to Kweiliang
the Imperial Commissioner.—

“ He sometimes styled the President ta-hwangti, or Great Emperor, and some-
times ‘President’ (a word which he has learnt), and occasionally kiun-clnn, or
princely ruler, to prove his respect for him. Such being the relations between the
two countries, the ko-tau or regular form of obeisance required of envoys from these
nations, i.e.. the tan quei-k'tu-hoh, ‘ three kneelings and nine knocks,’ would not be
expected, ‘but,’ said the judge, ‘one kneeling and three knocks will do for a
friendly power.’ ”

What was the reply of Mu. Ward to the proposal that lie should
perform so dignified and graceful a ceremony ? After explaining to
Kweiliang that, Americans were not accustomed to kneel, except for
the purpose of saying their prayers, he offered the ensuing com-
promise :—

“ He would bow very low, and even nine times, if that would add to the solemnity
in their view, or he would stand uncovered during the whole audience, while the
Emperor sat. More than this he would never willingly perform.”

The consequence was, that, the Emperor refused to grant the
American Embassy an interview. This conduct on the part of
Mr. Ward is quite of a piece with the sad taste which makes the
American Minister at the British Court attire himself, when he goes
there, in a plain evening dress, instead of adorning his person with a
chocolate-coloured laced coat, an embroidered satin waistcoat, and the
knee-breeches, silk stockings, buckles, and pumps, of an exquisite foot-
man. The Continental nations abuse us for being insular and proud, but
our insularity does not prevent our Court from greatly resembling
that of China; and let us, in the words of King Richard tiie Third,
be thankful for our humility in submitting to wear the decorations of
a lackey in honour of the Crown. Nay, the Speaker of the House
of Commons is, on certain occasions, the object, on the part of certain
officers of the House, of demonstrations of profound respect closely
resembling what Mr. Ward, doubtless, would irreverently describe as
the antics which he was willing to humour his Celestial Majesty
by performing. We are proud indeed, but x^o^d i*1 the pomp ot