Punch (37.1859)

November 5, 1859.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

183

Juvenile. “ Do you object to my Smoking a Cigar, Sir ? ”

Elderly Party. “ Oh no, certainly not, if it doesn’t make you Sick ! ”

“ ENGLAND’S DECLINE AND TALL.”

(See the Constitution^, the Univers, the Pays, and the rest of the French
newspapers passim.)

Old England’s going down the hill,

It certainly is so ;

Eor Grand Guillot has written it,

And Grand Guillot must know.

Our population’s growing fast,

The French don’t grow at all;

Our colonies get richer,

While theirs are singing small.

Our tonnage to their tonnage
May stand as ten to one;

Their imports to our imports
May weigh as pound to ton.

Bat England’s going down the hill,

It certainly is so ;

For Grand Guillot lias written it,

And Grand Guillot must know.

Year after year our liberties
Grow broader and more sure;

While theirs are such as bayonets
And gagging laws secure.

Classes by kindly duty
With us are intertwined;

With them the tie of class is such
As Socialism can bind.

But England’s going down the hill.

It certainly is so;

For Grand Guillot has written it,

And Grand Guillot mus^know.

We have a Queen we honour,

With love that knows no fear;

They have Louis Napoleon,

And “ La paix de l' Empire ! ”

We have our Habeas Corpus,

Our press for speaking free,

They have their “ Loi des suspects,”

And avertissemens three.

Yes, England’s going down the hill.

It certainly is so;

For Grand Guillot has written it,

And Grand Guillot must know.

A LEW GLOBULES EOR HOMOEOPATHY.

Having gone through a small course of Homoeopathy, and fairly
digested its merits, we have come to the following inevitable con-
clusion :—“ What you tell us that is true is not new, and what you tell
us that is new isn’t true.”

The latter part of our judgment, or “what you tell us that is new,”
has reference to the assertions of the Homoeopaths that they cure an
average of a hundred and five per cent, of all their cases; and this, too,
by the administration of infinitesimal doses.

With regard to the former portion, or “what you tell us that is
true,” we mildly take upon ourselves to assert, that the doctrine of
“ similia similibus curantur ” was known and practised long before
Hahnemann, or any other man of their school, saw the usual poly-
chromatic light suspended over his medical door. Instances of this
are as plentiful as cases in the Divorce Courts. From the beginning
of the world, ever since Mr. Bacchus planted the vine, we have every
reason to believe that men have occasionally taken “ a little too much,”
and cured themselves the next day, “by a hair of the dog that bit
them,”—a clear case of “ similia similibus.”

Again, “ Setting a thief to catch a thief,” is as “ old as the hills,”—
even those that “ flesh is heir to.”

There is yet another instance of this doctrine, well known in days of
yore, in the following nursery lines:—

“ There was a man of Teddington, and he was wondrous wise,

He jumped into a quickset-hedge, and scratched out both his eyes ;

And when he saw his eyes were out, with all his might and main,

He jumped into another hedge, and scratched them in again."

We leave Homoeopaths in the midst of this quickset-hedge, to get out
of it the best way they can. It is so clear a proof of “ like curing
.ike,” that the blindest bigot in the efficacy of globules must see it.
There is blindness produced bj^ the Wise Man of Teddington jumping
into a hedge, and scratching his eyes out; and then by going through
another hedge, and the same process of scratching his eyes, he recovers
them in less (to speak vulgarly) than two winkings.

Although we fancy we must before this have convinced all reasonable
beings that “ like having the power of curing like ” is no new idea,

still we cannot conclude without quoting one last, but no small,
authority upon the point, which, we imagine, is dead against the
atomic theory of infinitesimal doses. We do not recollect ever having
heard it quoted by the Homoeopaths themselves in support of their
argument. We, therefore, beg, in all good feeling, to present it to
them for their especial benefit and behoof

“ A little money is a dangerous thing.

Drink deeply, or touch not the Pierian spring :

There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain.

But drinking deeply sobers us again ! ”

This last line leans a little to the “ similia similibus ” creed ; but we
make the Homoeopaths a small present of it, giving them full liberty to
extract what benefit they can from it, as a proof we do not wish to be
hard upon them. Meanness is the test of a little mind, and we do
not profess to deal in little things, as though we were no better than a
Homoeopath.

TWICE SHUT UP.

“ Mr. Ward, the American Envoy, who went in the box to Pekin, did not, after
all, get the treaty ratified there.”—Globe.

0 Cousins, in decency, out of your annals
The story (to use Printers’ language) delete ;

To Pekin and back, between carpenters’ panels,

Your Envoy sneaked off—and did not get the Treaty.

You’d better have seen that affairs appeared sinister,

And shared with your kinsmen the enemy’s knocks,

Than had to remark of your Cabinet Minister,

“Oh, breathe not his name, let it sleep in the Box.”

A Letter too Many.

Count Boguet has been sent by Louis Napoleon on a mission to |
King Bombalino. Considering the part now being played in Italy by
the French Emperor, the name of this Neapolitan envoy seems to be
right to a “t.” But the “t” ought clearly to be omitted.