Punch (37.1859)

October 1, 1859.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

133

A REAL TREASURE.

Paterfamilias (suddenly arrived in town). “ Good Gracious, Mrs. Wilkins, why
didn’t you forward these Letters ? They are of the utmost importance.”
Mrs. Wilkins (the Treasure). “ Lor, Sir ! I should never think o’ forwarding
SICH THINGS AS THEM. WHY, I SEE THEY WAS ONLY BUSINESS LETTERS FROM THE
HORFICE, OR SOMETHINK O’ THAT ! ”

THE DAWN IN ITALY.

What of the night o’er Europe spread ?

Is day in Italy begun ?

Has the long, dismal darkness fled ?
Shines, yonder, Ereedom’s rising sun?

It should be daybreak—steady, clear,
Serenely, temperately bright;

And they that in its rays appear
Are true men walking in the light.

Apart from rant; without bombast,

The building of self-rule proceeds;

No braying pomp, with trumpet blast,
Burlesques the grandeur of their deeds.

No mutual kisses, maudlin tears,
Frivolous dance, or mad fool’s cry;

No sickly song offends the ears;

No flaunting tinsel shames the eye.

Or see we there no rosy dawn,

No true Aurora; but a lamp,

Which in a moment may be gone,
Extinguished by a tyrant’s stamp ?

Is, then, immoral force so strong,

The strength of Bight so sad a doubt,

That England must permit the wrong,
Stand by, and see the light put out ?

Brave men, at least our wishes take.

If they are all we can afford;

With foes environed, for your sake,

If we can spare no helping sword.

With spirits of your bards, and shades
Of Romans old, we still survey

Your noble struggle, forced with aids
Reserved, to hold the world at bay.

Rome and Utah,

Rome, the spiritual domain of the Pope, is called by
papists the See of Peter. Brigham Young may with
nearly equal reason, and to quite as much purpose, boast
that the Lake of Utah, his pontificate, is the Sea of
Saltpetre.

A Sixth Sense.—The scents of the Thames—and it is
stronger than the other five senses put together.

CLERICAL CONSCIENCE-MONEY.

The following was inserted in the Times of the 20th:—

“ The Chancellor of the Exchequer acknowledges the receipt of Is. 3d. from
‘ A Curate,’ on account of Income-Tax.”

There must surely, we should say, be some mistake in this. Curates
surely must be paid their yearly stipends free of Income-Tax. Surely
any Clergyman who can afford to keep a Curate would take care to pay
his salary clear of all deductions. Oh yes, the more we think of it, the
more we feel persuaded that such is, because it must be, the inevitable
fact. _ In this case very possibly the Clergyman neglected to make
mention of the payment. Small wonder such a trifle should have
escaped his memory. What was one and threepence to a reverend
employer who could afford to pay £300 to have his work done for
him ? So, not knowing that the tax had been duly paid beforehand, the
Curate, in his rectitude, sent it up as Conscience-money. Had it been
really due, it would have certainly been called for; but the tax-gatherer
of course was as well aware as we are that Curates are invariably paid
their iucomes free of tax, and he therefore abstained properly from
second application.

Peeling quite convinced, then, that the tax has been paid twice, we
may expect to see another announcement in the Times, to the effect
that—

1 A Curate acknowledges the receipt of Is. 3d. from the Chancellor of the
Exchequer, on account of Income-Tax in error overpaid. ”

Latest Bulletin from Rome.

“ His Holiness the Pope has been for some time laid up with lame-
ness, in consequence of his foot having slipped iu some blood spilt iu
the street of Perugia, but he is now convalescent to the joy
mankind.”

of

JONATHAN’S JOHNSON.

The New York Herald, referring to an election contest in Minnesota,
says—

“ So we must look for all sorts of tricks, wirepullings, roorbacks, and intrigues on
both sides.”

A not bad Yankee notion might be the publication of an American
Annual Dictionary. The Anglo-Saxon tongue is constantly receiving
so many additions from the Transatlantic branch of the family, that
the compilation of such a lexicon has become very desirable. “ Roor-
backs,” now!—What are “roorbacks?” one would like to ask the
New York Herald, which, at least, should always come out with a
glossary. Comparative philologists, who derive the words of all lan-
guages from certain primitive roots, may have some difficulty in tracing
the affinity of the American verbal coinage to the Queen’s English;
much more iu attempting to make out the relation of Yankeeisms to
any of the other Indo-European languages; a course of investigation
in which the inquirer would be likely to find himself pumphlusticated.

City Treason.

“ If I were to throw the Lord Mayor into a horsepond,” asked
Viscount Williams, “why would he become a railway bridge?”
“Because,” replied to himself, after a pause, the Venerable Peer,
“ he would be a Wire-ducked

MEMORANDUM ON MILITARY DISCIPLINE.

Old martinets are old boys who are a little too fond of playing witli
the cat. It would serve them right if they now and then got scratched.

A Mellow Drama.—The Green Bushes.

Vol, 37.