Punch (37.1859)

Jolt 23, 1859.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

41

ADVERTISING COLUMNS.

IMPORTANT PUBLIC NOTICE !

everal myriads of
anxious correspond-
ents requiring inform-
ation, Mr. Punch begs
to give notice, that
the Bill which has
been moved for “to
prevent the setting
up of advertising co-
lumns” will in no
way interfere with
the setting up, as
usual, of His adver-
tising columns. These
columns will, as here-
tofore, be “set up”
every week by his
most careful of com-
positors, and no pains
will be spared to keep
out typical mistakes.
Mr. Punch may speak
with truth of his ad-
vertising columns as
being at once useful
and most highly or-
namental. Unlike the
mad monstrosity
which now disfigures
Hyde Park Corner,
more even than the
monster statue of the
Duke, Mr. Punch's
columns always are
set up in good taste,
and nothing that is
objectionable is ever
to be seen in them.

Bo far from being an eyesore, and disfiguring the streets, Mr. Punch avers that his adver-
tising columns adorn and greatly beautify the fortunate shop-windows in which they are
■displayed. Mr. Punch nihil tetigit quod non ornavit; and he may point with pride to his


advertising columns, as proving with what good
taste he blends ornament with use. It also is a
proof of the good taste of the public that his
advertising columns are held in such repute.
Still, although each week adds inches to their
high reputation, the charge for entrance to the
columns remains at a low figure.

Mr. Punch concludes this notice by expressing
his opinion that, while the public have His
advertising columns at command, there can be
no public need of having any others; and he
therefore begs to pat Mr. Cowper on the
back, for bringing in his Bill to prevent the
setting up of columns by French companies,
whom, if need be, Mr. Punch will use his
columns to set down.

THE BRITISH PEERAGE.

At high water the other day, Father Thames
was elevated to the House of Peers. His re-
ception was not of the most cordial nature, all
doors and ■windows being unceremoniously closed
to prevent, if possible, his admission. The
Peers, too, fled hastily in all directions to avoid
being brought into contact with this very super-
fluous, and anything but agreeable, addition to
their aristocratic House. The question is, what
can be done to purify the dirty old gentleman,
so that he shall smell sweeter in the nostrils of
their offended Lordships ; or, better still, what
precautionary measures can be resorted to in
order to prevent for the future similar unplea-
sant introductions ?

Negative Proof.

It is said by the first of critics that a Great
Poet is discerned in his knowing when not to
write. It is said of Louis NapoleoNj by his
admirers, that he is a perfect master of tire art
of fortification. He evidently knows when to
let a fortification alone.

COMPANION TO THE HYMENEAL ALTAR.

The aristocracy, and other persons of good taste and high refine-
ment, are apprised by the subjoined announcement of a means by
which they may pay an elegant compliment to persons about to merit,
. or who may have just merited, that delicate attention

“AN APPROPRIATE WEDDING GIFT,

In square 16mo, price 7s. 6<i., elegantly bound,

THE MARRIAGE SERVICE,

Printed in Gold on a tinted cardboard, and Illustrated with emblematical
designs on every page.”

This truly interesting and exquisite novelty offers an opportunity of
•eligible investment to those industrious and enterprising young gentle-
men who hawk the penny papers about the streets, and introduce
their heads into omnibuses, witli cries of “Daily Telegraph!” or
“ Hevening Stawr ! ” If they would lay in a stock of the resplendent
edition of the Marriage Service above described, and, posting them-
" selves every morning at the doors of St. George’s, Hanover Square,
•thrust a copy into every -carriage containing ladies crowned with
■orange-flowers, and gentlemen with white satin bows in their button-
holes, they would sell immense numbers of that appropriate wedding-
gift, perhaps without much danger of getting their heads punched for
impertinence by the bridegroom’s “ best man.” On the contrary, it is
probable that the graceful act would be rewarded with many a sunny
smile bestowed on the gallant urchin, and accompanied with the sym-
pathetic greeting, “Welcome, little stranger ! ”

The Marriage Service, illustrated with doves probably, and Cupids,
and printed in gold letters on tinted paper, is a step in advance of the
silver twist which unites the fashionable couple, represented by their
respective pasteboards, in an envelope enclosed to their friends. So
gold lace excels silver lace^ and the Marriage Service akin to the
' -former would be a suitable companion to that Altar which persons
whose pronunciation is peculiar call High-Menial.

The Modern “ Star Chamber.”—The Earl of Rosse’s Telescope.

PUNCH TO CAVOUR.

“ Count Cavour * * * has retired in disgust, from the proud position Le
has so long filled.”—Times, July 1 ith.

Count O’Cavourneen, the bubble, is breaking,

You’ve had the last scene, Solferino’s red hill,

The cannons no longer the echoes are waking,

Count O’Cavourneen, what, Minister still?

0 hast thou forgot the diplomacy clever
In which thou didst bear so distinguished a part,

Thy vow to clear out all the Ilapsbugs for ever?

The vermin still linger, Cavour of my heart.

Cavourneen, Cavourneen, the dead lie in numbers
Beneath the torn turf where the living made fight;

In the bed of My Uncle the Emperor slumbers,

But Italy’s Hapsbugs continue to bite.

Well done, my Cavour, they have cut short the struggle
That fired all the pulses of Italy’s heart;

And in turning thy back on the humbug aud juggle;

Cavour, thou hast played a proud gentleman’s part.

HARVEY’S BONES. .

A Correspondent of the Times, writing about the remains of the
illustrious Harvet, says

“ The person who showed me the vault rattled the bones, apparently as part of
the exhibition.”

Had this knave a notion that he was paying a suitable honour to the
memory of an anatomist, when he rattled the bones of.the great dis-
coverer of the circulation of the blood? Without attaching too much
importance to bones, we may suggest that Harvey’s might be, at
least, allowed to rest, instead of being rattled. A fellow who would
rattle Harvey’s bones would also rattle those of Shakspeare, or play
at loggats with them, if he were not afraid of the malediction which
| protects those relics from irreverent clowns.