DOI Heft:
July 30, 1859
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16864#0060
July 30, 1859.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
49
KING PUNCH SWEARETH ALLEGIANCE TO THE!
(BRITISH) QUEEN OE ERUIT.
)rr, juicier than the cherry!
Oh, sweeter than raspberry!
Oh, what delight,
To appetite.
Can equal thee, Strawberry! |
E’en creams, though iced by
Ye UREY,
E’en coblers named from
Sherry,
Are not more sweet
In summer’s heat,
Than thy cool fruit, Straw-
berry !
Of turtle-soup a plateful
Is not to me more grateful:
Not ducks and peas
This child so please;
Without thee life were hate-
ful!
Not melon or mulberry,
Although they ’re luscious,
very.
Not peach, or pine,
Or nectarine,
Compare with thee, Straw-
berry !
Oh, bliss when with a pottle »
Of Queens I cool my throttle!
I envy not,
The toping sot.
Who cools his with a bottle.
With cream when thou art blended,
Some deem thy flavour mended,
Yet ’tis such treat
To taste thee neat,
I sigh when thou art ended.
Though cherries hang in clusters
As large as waxlight lustres,
Their size will ne’er
With thine compare,
Thy berries grow such busters !
A LEAST EOR A PHILOLOGIST.
“ Lookee here, Mr. Punch. Here, now, ’s an interustun parrigraff
vor ’ee out o’ the Times noozepyaaper:—
“ Prince Luciex Bonaparte.—Prince Lttcien Bonaparte is at present sojourn-
ing among tbe hills at Stanhope and St. John’s in Weardale, translating the Song of
Solomon into the dialect of the county of Durham. He will proceed hence to Craven
with a view of translating the book into the Yorkshire dialect.”
“ Now, Zur, I wunder what that are’s vor. Is this here Bonypart
gwiun to translate the Zong o’ Zolomon into Durham and Yorkshire
vor to have un zet to music and zung in them there dialicks ? Cause
if zo, there’s another wherein I’m bound to zay that are zong or ar
another ood zound a precious dale swater nor in ather o’ they. I
manes the Hampshire tongue, which is the one Zolomon his self would
ha chose to write his riginal zong in if he’d only a know’cl on’t. ’Tis
the purtiest in all England, ever so fur, a young ooman in the planner
parts bates the nightingull holler, and in the base, a chap wi a strong
vice, down the bottom o’ the droat, makes the pewter pots ring again.
Next thing Bonypart dooes you tell’n to come down am on" we, and
we ’ll tache un to translaait the Zong o’ Zolomon: aye, and zing ut
too melojus enough to charm the heart of a broomstick.
“ I be, your umble sarvant,
“ Bristlefincu.”
“ The Piggery, Snoutbridge, July, 1859.”
FUMUS GLORIA MTJNDL
In a will case a few days ago, Sir Cresswell Cresswell, remark-
ing on an allegation that one of a certain Lunatic’s habits was to
smoke a good deal, is reported to have said :—
“ I have a great objection to smoking, but certainly I should not carry my objec-
tion so far as to hold that it was evidence of insanity.”
Different things are objectionable to different men. Mr. Punch
happens to be fond of his weed, hut, if occasion arose, would probably
say this:—
“ I have a great objection to lawyers, but certainly I should not carry my objec-
tion so far as to refuse to dine with a clever judge, like Cresswell, for instance, if
he asked me.”
After this, it is only necessary for Mr. Punch to mention that he is
disengaged for Saturday fortnight.
[On second thoughts, Mr. Punch supposes that Sir C. Cresswell, as
a Divorce Judge, said his say to please the female world, which looks
up to him with a certain fascinated admiration. Probably he had his
cigar-case in his pocket in the robing-room all the time.]
EMPERORS AT ODDS.
More fragrant e’en than roses,
Or Covent Garden posies.
Thou art as sweet
To smell as eat,
And charm’st both months and noses.
With thee no fruit compareth,
Thy crown no rival shareth :
To thee, I ween.
Oh, British Queen,
King Punch allegiance sweareth!
WHAT WE ARE INDEBTED TO THE FRENCH EMPEROR.
The entente cordiale has been maintained at an expense of thirteen
millions additionally of taxation every year. Eight millions of these
are spent on warlike armaments. This has been going on ever since
the beginning of the French Emperor’s reign. In truth, Louis Napo-
leon has been a very dear friend to England. The question is, if
friendship, like gold, may not be bought too dearly. The article ought
to be of the most precious value, and of the most refined description,
to command so high a price. Is the entente cordiale worth purchasing
at that extravagant rate? and has John Bull grown such a mad
spendthrift in his epicurean tastes, as to be able to spend thirteen
millions every year in the mere outlay of “ cordials ” alone ? We can
recollect the time when the old fellow spurned such . effeminate
luxuries, and was all the healthier for it. The British Constitution does
not need the support of French cordials.
The Latest Marvel in the Nest-Building way. — A little
Wren has built its nest in the Marquis of Westminster’s pocket!
It has not been disturbed since it laid its first egg.
On arriving before the walls of Yerona, says Louis Napoleon,
“ I found before me Europe in arms, ready either to dispute our successes, or to
aggravate our reverses.”
Francis-Joseph, on the contrary, declares that he found himself
likely to obtain less favourable terms from Europe in arms than those
which it was probable that Louis Napoleon would dictate to him.
He was afraid that Europe in arms would aggravate his reverses, and
by no means dispute the successes of his adversary. It is to be hoped
that there is some mistake between the two Emperors, for at any rate
that which lies between their Imperial Majesties is not the truth. Is
it quite certain that they knew what they were about, or that they
know what they are about now, in making impracticable agreements
for the settlement of Italy ? The most respectful and moderate con-
clusion to which we can come is, that one of these august personages
is a booby. May Titania haply awake, and find out Bottom ?
A Double-Edged Motto.
The Saloon Omnibus Company (which may be compared to the
'Westminster Clock, inasmuch as everybody seems anxious—and no-
body able—to get it wound up) bears, on its vehicles, the motto “ Jam
omnibus satis.” One of the facetious Counsel of the Bankruptcy Court
the other day expressed his hope that this motto,—which he translated
“ enough for everybody ’’—might he found applicable by the creditors,
when the Company’s assets came to be divided. We should prefer
to apply the motto to the unlucky Shareholders, and to translate it,
“ We’ve had quite enough of omnibussing by this time.”
THE H. P. C. NUISANCE.
The present Duke of Wellington has done one tiling which his
heroic father never did. He has made an unsuccessful attack upon a
French Column.
49
KING PUNCH SWEARETH ALLEGIANCE TO THE!
(BRITISH) QUEEN OE ERUIT.
)rr, juicier than the cherry!
Oh, sweeter than raspberry!
Oh, what delight,
To appetite.
Can equal thee, Strawberry! |
E’en creams, though iced by
Ye UREY,
E’en coblers named from
Sherry,
Are not more sweet
In summer’s heat,
Than thy cool fruit, Straw-
berry !
Of turtle-soup a plateful
Is not to me more grateful:
Not ducks and peas
This child so please;
Without thee life were hate-
ful!
Not melon or mulberry,
Although they ’re luscious,
very.
Not peach, or pine,
Or nectarine,
Compare with thee, Straw-
berry !
Oh, bliss when with a pottle »
Of Queens I cool my throttle!
I envy not,
The toping sot.
Who cools his with a bottle.
With cream when thou art blended,
Some deem thy flavour mended,
Yet ’tis such treat
To taste thee neat,
I sigh when thou art ended.
Though cherries hang in clusters
As large as waxlight lustres,
Their size will ne’er
With thine compare,
Thy berries grow such busters !
A LEAST EOR A PHILOLOGIST.
“ Lookee here, Mr. Punch. Here, now, ’s an interustun parrigraff
vor ’ee out o’ the Times noozepyaaper:—
“ Prince Luciex Bonaparte.—Prince Lttcien Bonaparte is at present sojourn-
ing among tbe hills at Stanhope and St. John’s in Weardale, translating the Song of
Solomon into the dialect of the county of Durham. He will proceed hence to Craven
with a view of translating the book into the Yorkshire dialect.”
“ Now, Zur, I wunder what that are’s vor. Is this here Bonypart
gwiun to translate the Zong o’ Zolomon into Durham and Yorkshire
vor to have un zet to music and zung in them there dialicks ? Cause
if zo, there’s another wherein I’m bound to zay that are zong or ar
another ood zound a precious dale swater nor in ather o’ they. I
manes the Hampshire tongue, which is the one Zolomon his self would
ha chose to write his riginal zong in if he’d only a know’cl on’t. ’Tis
the purtiest in all England, ever so fur, a young ooman in the planner
parts bates the nightingull holler, and in the base, a chap wi a strong
vice, down the bottom o’ the droat, makes the pewter pots ring again.
Next thing Bonypart dooes you tell’n to come down am on" we, and
we ’ll tache un to translaait the Zong o’ Zolomon: aye, and zing ut
too melojus enough to charm the heart of a broomstick.
“ I be, your umble sarvant,
“ Bristlefincu.”
“ The Piggery, Snoutbridge, July, 1859.”
FUMUS GLORIA MTJNDL
In a will case a few days ago, Sir Cresswell Cresswell, remark-
ing on an allegation that one of a certain Lunatic’s habits was to
smoke a good deal, is reported to have said :—
“ I have a great objection to smoking, but certainly I should not carry my objec-
tion so far as to hold that it was evidence of insanity.”
Different things are objectionable to different men. Mr. Punch
happens to be fond of his weed, hut, if occasion arose, would probably
say this:—
“ I have a great objection to lawyers, but certainly I should not carry my objec-
tion so far as to refuse to dine with a clever judge, like Cresswell, for instance, if
he asked me.”
After this, it is only necessary for Mr. Punch to mention that he is
disengaged for Saturday fortnight.
[On second thoughts, Mr. Punch supposes that Sir C. Cresswell, as
a Divorce Judge, said his say to please the female world, which looks
up to him with a certain fascinated admiration. Probably he had his
cigar-case in his pocket in the robing-room all the time.]
EMPERORS AT ODDS.
More fragrant e’en than roses,
Or Covent Garden posies.
Thou art as sweet
To smell as eat,
And charm’st both months and noses.
With thee no fruit compareth,
Thy crown no rival shareth :
To thee, I ween.
Oh, British Queen,
King Punch allegiance sweareth!
WHAT WE ARE INDEBTED TO THE FRENCH EMPEROR.
The entente cordiale has been maintained at an expense of thirteen
millions additionally of taxation every year. Eight millions of these
are spent on warlike armaments. This has been going on ever since
the beginning of the French Emperor’s reign. In truth, Louis Napo-
leon has been a very dear friend to England. The question is, if
friendship, like gold, may not be bought too dearly. The article ought
to be of the most precious value, and of the most refined description,
to command so high a price. Is the entente cordiale worth purchasing
at that extravagant rate? and has John Bull grown such a mad
spendthrift in his epicurean tastes, as to be able to spend thirteen
millions every year in the mere outlay of “ cordials ” alone ? We can
recollect the time when the old fellow spurned such . effeminate
luxuries, and was all the healthier for it. The British Constitution does
not need the support of French cordials.
The Latest Marvel in the Nest-Building way. — A little
Wren has built its nest in the Marquis of Westminster’s pocket!
It has not been disturbed since it laid its first egg.
On arriving before the walls of Yerona, says Louis Napoleon,
“ I found before me Europe in arms, ready either to dispute our successes, or to
aggravate our reverses.”
Francis-Joseph, on the contrary, declares that he found himself
likely to obtain less favourable terms from Europe in arms than those
which it was probable that Louis Napoleon would dictate to him.
He was afraid that Europe in arms would aggravate his reverses, and
by no means dispute the successes of his adversary. It is to be hoped
that there is some mistake between the two Emperors, for at any rate
that which lies between their Imperial Majesties is not the truth. Is
it quite certain that they knew what they were about, or that they
know what they are about now, in making impracticable agreements
for the settlement of Italy ? The most respectful and moderate con-
clusion to which we can come is, that one of these august personages
is a booby. May Titania haply awake, and find out Bottom ?
A Double-Edged Motto.
The Saloon Omnibus Company (which may be compared to the
'Westminster Clock, inasmuch as everybody seems anxious—and no-
body able—to get it wound up) bears, on its vehicles, the motto “ Jam
omnibus satis.” One of the facetious Counsel of the Bankruptcy Court
the other day expressed his hope that this motto,—which he translated
“ enough for everybody ’’—might he found applicable by the creditors,
when the Company’s assets came to be divided. We should prefer
to apply the motto to the unlucky Shareholders, and to translate it,
“ We’ve had quite enough of omnibussing by this time.”
THE H. P. C. NUISANCE.
The present Duke of Wellington has done one tiling which his
heroic father never did. He has made an unsuccessful attack upon a
French Column.