Punch (37.1859)

76

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[August 20, 1859.

A TYRANT.

Master J achy {who pursues thefagging system even when homefor the Holidays'). “Oh, here you are! I’ve been looking tor you
Girls everywhere. Now, you just make haste home, and peel me a lot oe Shrimps eor my Lunch ! ”

THE MEMBER ON THE MOORS.

The Member of Parliament goes to the Moors,

Now all of his speeches are made out of doors,

His political game is abandoned for grouse,

But he cannot get rid of the slang of the House.

“ Order, order ! ” he shouts, if too soon the birds rise,

“ Hear, hear ! ” at a hit from his party he cries ;

And hails, as his way through the heather he steers,

A bad shot with laughter—a good shot with cheers.

At his bird should another unfairly let fly,

“ Oh, oh ! ” is the Member of Parliament’s cry;

He says when his neighbour the game slightly wings,

“ I second that motion,” and down the prey brings.

Should the ground they are beating no booty return,

“ I move,” says the Member, “this House do adjourn;

And brace after brace right and left whilst he kills,

He observes, “ That’s what I call repealing your bills! ”

If he mentions his gun, that short word he ’ll expand ;

“ This weapon,” he’ll say, “which I hold in my hand.”

To the dogs, hunting wild, “Question, question ! ” he bawls.
And pot-hunting “unparliamentary” calls.

On the tip of his tongue is the cry of “ Name, name! ”
‘[Divide ! ” ’s his proposal of sharing the game.

The game-bag the “budget” he terms evermore,

“ This day six months,” the season when sport will be o’er.

He is “ free to confess,” and “ he will not deny

That he did not or might not” have wiped his friend’s eye,

If he called him a muff, still he meant no offence;

The word was not used in a personal sense.

Thus laughing and talking the whole summer’s day,
In that parliamentary kind of a way,

On his legs in the heather, as though in the House,
The Member of Parliament follows the grouse.

THE RIGHT HERO IN THE RIGHT PLACE.

That trustworthy French gentleman, On Dit, informed us, the
other day, that when the victorious army entered Paris the Emperor
Louis Napoleon was to place himself at the head of it. Tire same
reliable authority neglected to tell us what position Prince Napoleon
was to take up on the same occasion. We should say, if the Prince
had any respect for others, or even any respect for himself,—if in that
valiant breast there was locked up any truthful recognition of his own
merits,—that, in modesty, he could not think of presenting himself
until the whole army had defiled, when he would present himself
proudly at the tail of it; for such has always been the post of honour
that Plon-Plon has affectionated the most, as well as the place of
danger in which he has always distinguished himself the greatest. We
must say, that Prince Napoleon is the very last man in the French
army ever to put himself unduly forward.

A Joke from a Jetty.

“ I say, Snooks,” said Syices, as the two friends lolled together on
the pier at Lowestoft, “ I say, Snooks, my boy, why are our brown
faces like Apollo’s chariot F ”

Gasped the panting Snooks, “I haven’t an idea.”

“No, I don’t suppose you have. Nobody has one now. It’s too
hot to think, this weather. But come, I’ll ease your mind. Answer
—Because it’s the Sun’s tanned ’em ! ”

Poor Snooks
himself.

gasped again, and groaned, and—well, didn't drown