Punch (37.1859)

202

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[November 12, 1859;

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G&Y FAWKES FOE 1859.

THE LAW ON ITS LAST LEGS.

It really almost takes our mental breath away to think of it, but if something be not
done to help to foster their vitality, we fear the race of lawyers will soon become extinct.
They will be numbered before long with the lost tribes of Israel, and the Lane of Chancery
will know their face no more. The few surviving members, who have more longevity
left them than the rest, will be found with empty blue-bags at the corners of the streets,
waiting anxious-eyed to run, or rather hobble off, on errands, as rapidly and far as their
fast failing strength will suffer them. Or haply we shall find them crouching curled up on
the pavement, with the sad words “I am Starving/” chalked close beneath their noses,
and a basket for_stray coppers held between their teeth.

At the Meeting of the Law Association held the other day, the speakers spoke most
mournfully about their gloomy prospects, and many made allusion to the “rainy day” in
store for them, as though there was small chance of their getting an umbrella. > The Chair-
man was perhaps the most desponding of the orators, and his oration reads more like a dying
speech and last confession than any other form of words to which we can compare it.
Delenda est Lex was the text on which he preached, and heartrending indeed were the

I remarks which he poured forth on it. He plainly
: told his hearers that owing to the so-ealledt
“amendment” of the law, they were progressing
! fast in a canine direction, or in vulgar parlance,,
i they were going to the dogs. He declared that
it surprised him they continued to exist; but
he predicted their supplies would fall short be-
fore long, and that they would have to leave
off living upon nothing, and appeal in forma,
■pauperis to the public for support,
j But this legal Jeremiah did not content him*-
self with simply lamenting his sad plight, andi
the sad plight of all those whom, in a legal point
of view, he regarded as his brethren, lie closed
his Lamentation with something strangely like a
. threat, and to his Jeremiad imparted what
! savoured very strongly of the Jeremy Diddler
flavour. Speaking clearly for the purpose of
■catching the public ear and “seriously in-
! dining ” it to that attitude of interest which in-
assumed by ears when pricked up by a threat
that they ’ll be boxed, or that something else to-
; their advantage is in store for them, said tlie-
Chairman—

i “It may not be desirable that we should be too rich
; but there is a proverb which says, that it is a difficult-
thing to keep an empty sack upright, and I am sure it is-
very desirable for the public that we should not be too
poor.”

I So, according to this gentleman, honesty with
lawyers is an article of luxury, and unless they
are well off, they find they can’t afford it. When*
a lawyer begins to go down in the world, he
gives up his honesty as he would his carriage,
and pursues his path of plunder contentedly on
foot, until he can afford to be honest and to ride
again. To be upright he considers is a matter-.-
not of conscience, but merely of the pocket.
Like one of those toy figures which are kept-
upright by the swinging balance of a weight, a
lawyer is kept upright only by a swingeing
balance at his banker’s.

j Such at least is what we gather from the
dictum we have quoted. The hint that it is diffi-
cult to keep poor lawyers upright, appears to-,
our mind capable of no other construction. As-
with other beasts of prey, the conduct of a
lawyer is dependent on his appetite. If you
keep your cat well fed, it won’t do you much
mischief; and while a lawyer is well-fee’d he
will not show his teeth much. But depend on
it, as soon as either beast feels pinched, he’ll1
betake himself to thieving without the slightest
scruple, and lay his claws on everything that
comes within his reach.

A CANDIDATE FOR AN INSTITUTION.

Under the head of “Undergraduate Extra-
vagance at Cambridge,” the Times relates a
County Court case in which Mr. Eardley
Gideon Culling Eardley, a young gentleman
who has lately come of age,—not to say arrived
at years of discretion,—was sued for the price
of some pictures and a map, bought by him in
his minority. His bills incurred for similar
trifles were said to amount to £16,000. On
examination, this frugal youth stated that—

“ He was a fellow of the Society of Antiquaries, and
also a member of the Society of Denmark, and he ex-
pected to be a member of the Society of St. Lake at
Rome.”

This is apparently a young man of great ex
pectations. The membership of the Society of
St. Luke at Rome is one of them which may
perhaps be realised; but the expeetant seems
to stand a much better chance of being admitted
into the Society of St. Luke in Old Street.

THE RIGHT OF TRANSLATION RESERVED.

Translate as you will, you could never get
the Bishop of Cork to be considered the same
as the Eveque de Liege.