DOI Heft:
December 3, 1859
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16864#0236
December 3, 1859.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
225
ANOTHER SHOT BY A NON-SHOOTING STAR.
>/ iTri exquisite good taste a
Correspondent of the Star
endeavours to poke fun at
gallant General Hay, who
is twitted for “ continually
expressing his surprise” at
the efficiency of the Rifle
Corps which he is called on
1 o inspect. The writer thinks
it funny to pretend to feel
afraid that this continual
surprise will turn the Gene-
ral’s brain: a fate which
could not well befal the
Star - writer himself, inas-
much as it is probable he
has no brain to be turned.
To give point to his letter
the writer heads it with the
paraphrase of “Hay was an
Archer!” a bit of humour
just about upon a level with
his sense. As Rifle Corps
are an abomination to the
Star, of course such sneers as these find easy access to its columns.
But however balefully the Star may try to shine on them, its light is
quite put out by the sun of their success : and it is clear that “while
their sun shines” they cannot well do better than “'make Hay”
come and look at them. Although the compliment sounds cockneyish,
we mean it for a high one, when we say that General Hay in
judging military matters is allowed to rank Hay 1.
WHO SHALL CRITICISE THE CRITICS ?
The Saturday Remeic is so critical a paper that it startles us a little
to find it use bad language. Indeed, we own we felt it difficult to
believe our eyes, when we saw in it an article last week beginning
thus
“ The opinion which Jilt. Edwin James and Mr. Allan have given upon the case
placed before them on behalf of the workmen on strike is a very remarkable docu-
ment. It consists of three branches, of which the first two relate to the rules of
various Trades Unions, and the third to a question whether the masters who joined
in the lock-out have thereby rendered themselves liable to an indictment for con-
spiracy. The Member for Marylebone and his coadjutor are inclined to think it
does.” •
Are iliey indeed ? Well, before we can agree with them, we should
like to know what “it” is, and what it is “it” does. It rather
puzzled us to hear of “ branches” of a document, and to be informed
that branches could “relate to ” rules and questions. We swallowed
this, however, with a struggle and a gasp, but when we tried to gulp
the “it” it very nearly choked us. In fact the query “it” suggests
to us is “What does what?” aud 1 ill this be clearly answered, we
cannot possibly endorse the learned gentlemen’s opinion, and say if
they be right in thinking that “it does.”
ROMANCE BY SIR JOHN BOWRING.
In the course of an interesting lecture delivered the other evening,
at, a Meeting of the Society of Arts, on China, Sir John Bowrtng
took occasion to deny the immorality of the trade in opium, and the
injurious effects which that drug has been said to produce. In one
especially important particular, by bis account, the most cruel injustice
had been done to opium, inasmuch as
" It had been stated, as one of the evil consequences of the encouragement of
opium-eating, that it prev< nted the diffusion of Christianity; but this was so far
Horn being the case, that in one district into which opium had been introduced as
a substitute for intoxicating drinks, the people had been found particularly willing
to icceive Christian Missionaries, aud had become ready converts.”
Come, Sir John Bowring, this.is the flight of an arrow shot a little
too far. It is notorious that Missionaries, wherever they go, excite an
awakening. How could the narcolic influence of opium have prepared
the minds of the drug’s consumers for that? Sermons certainly do
sometimes produce an effect resembling that of opium ; but coma must
not be confounded with conversion.
A CONUNDRUM TO PILL UP A GAP IN TI1E CONVERSATION.
Why is a person older than yourself like food for cattle ?
Because he’s past your age (pasturage).
DR. CULLEN'S CHAFF.
The Irish papers have just published another Pastoral, signed by
Dr. Cullen and several other bishops of the ltoman Catholic per-
suasion. The subject of this address is the Irish “ Catholic Univer-
sity,” for which it is said those prelates propose asking the grant of
a charter, which they affect to entertain an idea that they have some
chance of getting. On this point they observe :—
“ It is so just to grant a charier to our university, we cannot easily believe that
upon reflection it will be denied.”
Do t hese titular gentlemen really give the British Government credit
for being likely to concede their demand in consideration of its justice?
Surely, then, they are too charitable. A ministry composed of heretics
cannot, of course, have any idea of what justice means, in common, at
least with the only true believers in mysteries and morals. The holy
fathers must be joking, after the abuse with which they have so long
been pelting their Protest ant rulers, when they impute any the slightest
possibility of a virtue to those enemies of the faith; those impious
blasphemers, fiends, demons, &c.
More seriously, they proceed:—
'• But eve:i without a charter, the university will, to a large extent, realise the
advantages we expect We do not deem the charter so absolutely indispensable as
some seem to imagine.”
To be sure. In short what you intend to say, most reverend gen-
tlemen, is that, you do not, want a charter at all. A Protestant charter
begged for a Catholic University !—you spurn the base suggestion.
A Protestant charter—faugh ! it, smells like tinder and carrion. You
would not, touch it with a pair of tongs. Saving your sacred prisince,
the divil fly away with the dhirt.y charter !
Such, doubtless, are the real sentiments of Dr. Cullen and the
Irish hierarchy of his denomination. “Here’s the health of bis
Holiness the Pope; and then that of Queen Victoria; and as for
you, Palmerston and Russell, you wicked haythen, bad luck to ye.
You must, know we have founded a Catholic University to teach the
youth of Ireland devotion and loyalty to the Pope, and detestation of
heresy and the Saxon. So now, ye blackguards and thieves of the
world, be civil, and do us the justice of coaxing Her Majesty (con-
version and salvation to her!) to hand us over a charter.”
To such chaff as this the only possible, and doubtless the only
expected, reply would be “ Don’t you wish you may get it ? ”
THE GREAT CIRCULATION.
By the account of the Morning Post,
“ So great has been the demand for Dr. Cujiming’s remarkable book, The Great
Tribulation, that upwards of 4,000 copies were immediately sold, and the demand
ior it increases every day.”
Long live Dr. Cumming ! Should this wish be fulfilled, and should
a long series of years of prosperity immediately succeed this troublous
time, and should Dr. Cumming at the end of them publish another
book, announcing the instant arrival of the Millennium, or the approach-
ing conflagration of the universe, then his new work, likewise, will no
doubt, immediately sell to the number of 4000 copies or more, and go
on selling. Such works are sure to sell, in the ordinary as well as in
the slang sense of the word, and those who are sold by them, no
matter how often, continue buying similar productions to the end of
the chapter. Dr. Cumming, therefore, may rest in the assurance that
though his prophecies may fail him, he will always be sure of his
profits.
A Pious Hoax.
One of Reuter’s Telegrams, the other day, announced that—•
“ The Patrie of this evening asserts :—The letter published in the Ami tie la
Religion, alleged to be an answer by the King of Sardinia to the Emperor of
tiie French, bears the full character of an apoc yphal document ”
The Ami de la Religion holds the Apocrypha to be canonical; no
wonder, therefore, that all that it says is not Gospel.
Fas ab Hoste.
O Victor-Emmanuel, oh, why should you scatter all
Hopes 1 hat were centred on you by four nal ions :
Why not be entrenched in your own Quadrilateral,
Tuscany, Modena, Parma, Legations ?
TRY IT ON.
It lias been proposed (very properly) to give poor Mons. Jullien
a testimonial, as an expression of condolence for his many misfortunes.
Perhaps, for a man who has gone to the wall so often, a suitable sort
of thing would be a Mural crown.
!
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
225
ANOTHER SHOT BY A NON-SHOOTING STAR.
>/ iTri exquisite good taste a
Correspondent of the Star
endeavours to poke fun at
gallant General Hay, who
is twitted for “ continually
expressing his surprise” at
the efficiency of the Rifle
Corps which he is called on
1 o inspect. The writer thinks
it funny to pretend to feel
afraid that this continual
surprise will turn the Gene-
ral’s brain: a fate which
could not well befal the
Star - writer himself, inas-
much as it is probable he
has no brain to be turned.
To give point to his letter
the writer heads it with the
paraphrase of “Hay was an
Archer!” a bit of humour
just about upon a level with
his sense. As Rifle Corps
are an abomination to the
Star, of course such sneers as these find easy access to its columns.
But however balefully the Star may try to shine on them, its light is
quite put out by the sun of their success : and it is clear that “while
their sun shines” they cannot well do better than “'make Hay”
come and look at them. Although the compliment sounds cockneyish,
we mean it for a high one, when we say that General Hay in
judging military matters is allowed to rank Hay 1.
WHO SHALL CRITICISE THE CRITICS ?
The Saturday Remeic is so critical a paper that it startles us a little
to find it use bad language. Indeed, we own we felt it difficult to
believe our eyes, when we saw in it an article last week beginning
thus
“ The opinion which Jilt. Edwin James and Mr. Allan have given upon the case
placed before them on behalf of the workmen on strike is a very remarkable docu-
ment. It consists of three branches, of which the first two relate to the rules of
various Trades Unions, and the third to a question whether the masters who joined
in the lock-out have thereby rendered themselves liable to an indictment for con-
spiracy. The Member for Marylebone and his coadjutor are inclined to think it
does.” •
Are iliey indeed ? Well, before we can agree with them, we should
like to know what “it” is, and what it is “it” does. It rather
puzzled us to hear of “ branches” of a document, and to be informed
that branches could “relate to ” rules and questions. We swallowed
this, however, with a struggle and a gasp, but when we tried to gulp
the “it” it very nearly choked us. In fact the query “it” suggests
to us is “What does what?” aud 1 ill this be clearly answered, we
cannot possibly endorse the learned gentlemen’s opinion, and say if
they be right in thinking that “it does.”
ROMANCE BY SIR JOHN BOWRING.
In the course of an interesting lecture delivered the other evening,
at, a Meeting of the Society of Arts, on China, Sir John Bowrtng
took occasion to deny the immorality of the trade in opium, and the
injurious effects which that drug has been said to produce. In one
especially important particular, by bis account, the most cruel injustice
had been done to opium, inasmuch as
" It had been stated, as one of the evil consequences of the encouragement of
opium-eating, that it prev< nted the diffusion of Christianity; but this was so far
Horn being the case, that in one district into which opium had been introduced as
a substitute for intoxicating drinks, the people had been found particularly willing
to icceive Christian Missionaries, aud had become ready converts.”
Come, Sir John Bowring, this.is the flight of an arrow shot a little
too far. It is notorious that Missionaries, wherever they go, excite an
awakening. How could the narcolic influence of opium have prepared
the minds of the drug’s consumers for that? Sermons certainly do
sometimes produce an effect resembling that of opium ; but coma must
not be confounded with conversion.
A CONUNDRUM TO PILL UP A GAP IN TI1E CONVERSATION.
Why is a person older than yourself like food for cattle ?
Because he’s past your age (pasturage).
DR. CULLEN'S CHAFF.
The Irish papers have just published another Pastoral, signed by
Dr. Cullen and several other bishops of the ltoman Catholic per-
suasion. The subject of this address is the Irish “ Catholic Univer-
sity,” for which it is said those prelates propose asking the grant of
a charter, which they affect to entertain an idea that they have some
chance of getting. On this point they observe :—
“ It is so just to grant a charier to our university, we cannot easily believe that
upon reflection it will be denied.”
Do t hese titular gentlemen really give the British Government credit
for being likely to concede their demand in consideration of its justice?
Surely, then, they are too charitable. A ministry composed of heretics
cannot, of course, have any idea of what justice means, in common, at
least with the only true believers in mysteries and morals. The holy
fathers must be joking, after the abuse with which they have so long
been pelting their Protest ant rulers, when they impute any the slightest
possibility of a virtue to those enemies of the faith; those impious
blasphemers, fiends, demons, &c.
More seriously, they proceed:—
'• But eve:i without a charter, the university will, to a large extent, realise the
advantages we expect We do not deem the charter so absolutely indispensable as
some seem to imagine.”
To be sure. In short what you intend to say, most reverend gen-
tlemen, is that, you do not, want a charter at all. A Protestant charter
begged for a Catholic University !—you spurn the base suggestion.
A Protestant charter—faugh ! it, smells like tinder and carrion. You
would not, touch it with a pair of tongs. Saving your sacred prisince,
the divil fly away with the dhirt.y charter !
Such, doubtless, are the real sentiments of Dr. Cullen and the
Irish hierarchy of his denomination. “Here’s the health of bis
Holiness the Pope; and then that of Queen Victoria; and as for
you, Palmerston and Russell, you wicked haythen, bad luck to ye.
You must, know we have founded a Catholic University to teach the
youth of Ireland devotion and loyalty to the Pope, and detestation of
heresy and the Saxon. So now, ye blackguards and thieves of the
world, be civil, and do us the justice of coaxing Her Majesty (con-
version and salvation to her!) to hand us over a charter.”
To such chaff as this the only possible, and doubtless the only
expected, reply would be “ Don’t you wish you may get it ? ”
THE GREAT CIRCULATION.
By the account of the Morning Post,
“ So great has been the demand for Dr. Cujiming’s remarkable book, The Great
Tribulation, that upwards of 4,000 copies were immediately sold, and the demand
ior it increases every day.”
Long live Dr. Cumming ! Should this wish be fulfilled, and should
a long series of years of prosperity immediately succeed this troublous
time, and should Dr. Cumming at the end of them publish another
book, announcing the instant arrival of the Millennium, or the approach-
ing conflagration of the universe, then his new work, likewise, will no
doubt, immediately sell to the number of 4000 copies or more, and go
on selling. Such works are sure to sell, in the ordinary as well as in
the slang sense of the word, and those who are sold by them, no
matter how often, continue buying similar productions to the end of
the chapter. Dr. Cumming, therefore, may rest in the assurance that
though his prophecies may fail him, he will always be sure of his
profits.
A Pious Hoax.
One of Reuter’s Telegrams, the other day, announced that—•
“ The Patrie of this evening asserts :—The letter published in the Ami tie la
Religion, alleged to be an answer by the King of Sardinia to the Emperor of
tiie French, bears the full character of an apoc yphal document ”
The Ami de la Religion holds the Apocrypha to be canonical; no
wonder, therefore, that all that it says is not Gospel.
Fas ab Hoste.
O Victor-Emmanuel, oh, why should you scatter all
Hopes 1 hat were centred on you by four nal ions :
Why not be entrenched in your own Quadrilateral,
Tuscany, Modena, Parma, Legations ?
TRY IT ON.
It lias been proposed (very properly) to give poor Mons. Jullien
a testimonial, as an expression of condolence for his many misfortunes.
Perhaps, for a man who has gone to the wall so often, a suitable sort
of thing would be a Mural crown.
!