DOI issue:
July 16, 1864
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16874#0030
22
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[July 16, 1864,
of England, and it was of course a vote of censure, and was meant and
accepted as one.
Monday. Me. Disraeli moved this resolution in a speech of three
hours. His cue was to be tremendously solemn and judicial. He cited
vast quantities of documentary evidence, and sought to show that we
had deceived Denmark, had insulted and alienated France, and had
humiliated England. If a dull, decorous statesman had compiled this
speech, it would have been complimented, but something more brilliant
was expected from the author of Coningsby. On the other hand, when
it was known that Mr. Gladstone would reply, people did not expect
much, because the Chancellor’s peace-at-almost-any-price policy is
not capable of lively illustration. But when Mr. Gladstone, after
meeting the documentary evidence, and charging his antagonist with
“falsification” (there was a riot over the word, and over “ calumnies,”
and then we had all sorts of gentlemanly retractations), abandoned
defence, and declared war on Mr. Disraeli, the Chancellor showed
himself a terrible gladiator, and showered his blows like wintry rain.
The retort of the Ministers is, “You never have told, and you don’t tell
now, what you would have done.”
Messrs. Newdegate and Kinglajce moved amendments, the first a
strong expression in favour of Denmark, the second a strong expression
in favour of Government.
General Peel was indignant, and likewise pious, at least to the
extent of ending his speech with a text, declaring that the Govern-
ment had made us a shame to our enemies and a scorn and derision to
them that are round about us.
Lord Stanley (a long head) disclaimed a war policy, and talked of'
the resolution as a protest. Lord Derby’s son is not to be done.
The Lord Advocate was the only other speaker to-night.
Tuesday. Mr. Cobden set out his own non-interference-with-any-
thing-or-anybody views very cleverly, and ridiculed the Tories for
wanting to remove Pah, who did their work, in the way of discouraging
reform and encouraging extravagance, much better than they would be
allowed to do it.
Mr. Roebuck abused the Germans very handsomely, and believed
that Lord Palmerston thought Lord Russell a dreadful encum-’
brance. Pam shook his head. “ Oh, but I know better,” said the
omniscient Roebuck.
Mr. Horshan made an exceedingly clever speech, well composed,
and full of point and antithesis. He slashed at everybody, and Mr.
Disraeli, at the end of the week, called him the “ Superior Person ”
of the House. He voted with Government.
Other speakers. Lord Robert Cecil, flat and weak. W. E.
Forster. Butler Johnstone. Lord Harry Vane. Mr. Liddell.
Lord Robert Montague. Mr. Whalley (some fun, of the gorilla
sort—he began preaching against the Pope). Mr. Seymour Fitz-
gerald (ready and able).
Thursday. Mr. Layard. He defended Lord Russell, and dealt
some good rough knocks. It was after this speech that the row came.
Mr. Gathorne Hardy. An effective Conservative speech, pleasantly
delivered.
Mr. Bentinck. Speech noticeable chiefly because this great Con-
servative is by no means full of admiration of his chiefs, and called the
resolution a rosewater one. Also, in the interest of Protestantism and
honesty, he let out his belief that the Conservatives had gained certain
of the ultramontane party, by peculiar means.
Other speakers. Sir F. Goldsmid. Mr. Cogan. Mr. Peacocke.
The Attorney-General. Lord John Manners—with a neat Latin
quotation—there has not been much classical citation in this debate.
Friday. Fourth and last night. Bernal Osborne opened, firing
away good stores. He advised the Liberals not to care what might be
the result of the division, whether dago killed Cassio, or Cassio him, or
each the other. Smart, if not statesmanly. Many speeches came after
his, but at length Lord Palmerston, loudly cheered, rose. He came
out with the old spirit. He regretted the pains the Opposition took to
degrade and vilify their country. He denied that the influence of the
country was lowered, the charge was a gratuitous libel by those who
were aiming at office. And, taking the proposed vote as one of censure,
he showed some reasons why the Government deserved something
better than censure from the country. In four years they have taken off
twelve millions of taxes. They have reduced the National Debt by
eleven millions. They have obtained a Freuoh treaty, which has
enormously increased imports and exports. They have diminished the
expenditure by three millions. They have fortified our arsenals,
established our Volunteer system, reformed India—and kept us out of
war. What could
Mr. Disraeli reply to that ? That was the real answer to the reso-
lution about Denmark. He saw which way the game was going, made
some not inapposite jokes on portions of the debate, and somewhat
gracefully threw himself on his sword.
At two in the morning of Saturday the numbers were announced.
Mr. Newdegate was with difficulty induced to withdraw his amend-
ment, and the House divided on Mr. Kinglake’s. The numbers were
313 to 295
There has been but one other House of Commons matter of import-
ance. The Street Music Bill has been read a Third Time in the Commons,
and has passed. A Metropolitan Member, eager for another claptrap,
hoped that it would be thrown out of the House of Lords. Mr. Punch,
somewhat excited with the grand debates of the week, has only leisure
to recollect what appeared in the Times newspaper, when, after a late
and furious debate, the Reform Bill was rejected. “ The Lords have
thrown out the Reform Bill. Who can say that when we next publish
there will be a House of Lords ? ” The hint may be put a little stronger
in regard to the Music Bill; as, if it be lost, it will be our painful duty
to do away with the hereditary branch of the Legislature.
_ But we have also to mention, not that it much matters, that on the
night on which the Commons declared that they would not turn out
Lord Palmerston, the Lords, by a majority of 4, (123 to 119) also
declared that they would not have Lord Derby as Premier. But
Lords on both sides then pulled out proxies, that is, the opinions of
people who had not heard the arguments, and as the Tory bundle of
these papers was a little thicker than the Liberal one, the result is called
a majority of 9 for the Derbyites. Flere is another little consolation,
with which Mr. Punch leaves them for the present.
THE GREAT ANNUAL CRICKET-MATCH.
{From our Colwell-Hatclmey Correspondent, as usual?)
The Great Annual Cricket-Match was the other day played in the
celebrated grounds not a hundred miles from Colwell Natch, between
the Hanwell Eleven and the Baker Street Eleven from Madame
Tussaud’s. It was a glorious day, and the sun beamed on the assem-
bled multitude who were engaged in piercing holes in their boots pre-
paratory to putting on their skates. The Umpire arrived in a hamper
from Town, and was immediately bound hand and foot in his chan,
which he filled to the satisfaction of every one concerned.
As the clock struck one, another clock hi the village struck two, and
a general riot ensued.
Amid the tears of the children, the execrations of the Umpire, and
the benediction of the daggers (by the kind permission of Signor
Costa, who had led his horse with his baton all the way from Town),
the game commenced.
The betting was even, the odds being in favour of the winners.
At a preconcerted signal the attack was made.
The names and colours of the riders were successively hoisted up
above the pavilion, so that they could be seen by the Dean oe St.
Paul’s, who was making shorthand notes for the convenience of the
Organist.
At 9 a.m. the wickets were pitched at the bowler, who, giving a loud
cry, fled into the wilderness. The Police are on his track.
Subjoined is the score:—
COLWELL HATCH ELEVEN
Runs.
Jones . . . Caught out first Ball.20
Charles .... (his friend).60
Somebody.... A Bargain.2s. 6d.
Artaxerxes . . In love with Stella Collas . . . 39 Not out.
Three Gentlemen . (names unknown) . . . . 45 st. 6 lbs.
Guards, Aristocrats, Crowds.1865
Sum total.(run out).2
MADAME TUSSAUD’S ELEVEN.
Mr. Cobbett . including the Clockwork snuff-box . 10J. per hour.
Commissioner Lin (Bowled, caught, stumped, run out) . 1
The Sleeping Beauty.40 winks.
King Henry VIII. . (afterwards Clown) ... 0
Cardinal Wolsey . . . (with a Song) ... 1
The rest of the Eleven (not admitted after seven) . 200
The Colwell Hatchers went in for a hundred and came out without
them. The bowling was excellent on both sides at once. The batting
was beyond all praise, and the wicket-keepers, who were smashed to
atoms, expressed themselves highly pleased with the performance.
Bootjacks were in great request for hitting people on the head with,
and fire-irons were at a premium. Among the nobility and gentry
present we were glad to notice no one we knew. The Umpire, with
strict impartiality, declared in favour of neither, until threatened with
the torture, when he succumbed.
The Colwell Hatchers went away early, but returned to finish the
game when nobody was looking.
Madame Tussaud’s Eleven were last seen melting away in the
distance.
The two Elevens subsequently dined together: the casualties were
numerous.
All returned to town, grateful to the worthy Y icar for a rational and
well-spent day.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[July 16, 1864,
of England, and it was of course a vote of censure, and was meant and
accepted as one.
Monday. Me. Disraeli moved this resolution in a speech of three
hours. His cue was to be tremendously solemn and judicial. He cited
vast quantities of documentary evidence, and sought to show that we
had deceived Denmark, had insulted and alienated France, and had
humiliated England. If a dull, decorous statesman had compiled this
speech, it would have been complimented, but something more brilliant
was expected from the author of Coningsby. On the other hand, when
it was known that Mr. Gladstone would reply, people did not expect
much, because the Chancellor’s peace-at-almost-any-price policy is
not capable of lively illustration. But when Mr. Gladstone, after
meeting the documentary evidence, and charging his antagonist with
“falsification” (there was a riot over the word, and over “ calumnies,”
and then we had all sorts of gentlemanly retractations), abandoned
defence, and declared war on Mr. Disraeli, the Chancellor showed
himself a terrible gladiator, and showered his blows like wintry rain.
The retort of the Ministers is, “You never have told, and you don’t tell
now, what you would have done.”
Messrs. Newdegate and Kinglajce moved amendments, the first a
strong expression in favour of Denmark, the second a strong expression
in favour of Government.
General Peel was indignant, and likewise pious, at least to the
extent of ending his speech with a text, declaring that the Govern-
ment had made us a shame to our enemies and a scorn and derision to
them that are round about us.
Lord Stanley (a long head) disclaimed a war policy, and talked of'
the resolution as a protest. Lord Derby’s son is not to be done.
The Lord Advocate was the only other speaker to-night.
Tuesday. Mr. Cobden set out his own non-interference-with-any-
thing-or-anybody views very cleverly, and ridiculed the Tories for
wanting to remove Pah, who did their work, in the way of discouraging
reform and encouraging extravagance, much better than they would be
allowed to do it.
Mr. Roebuck abused the Germans very handsomely, and believed
that Lord Palmerston thought Lord Russell a dreadful encum-’
brance. Pam shook his head. “ Oh, but I know better,” said the
omniscient Roebuck.
Mr. Horshan made an exceedingly clever speech, well composed,
and full of point and antithesis. He slashed at everybody, and Mr.
Disraeli, at the end of the week, called him the “ Superior Person ”
of the House. He voted with Government.
Other speakers. Lord Robert Cecil, flat and weak. W. E.
Forster. Butler Johnstone. Lord Harry Vane. Mr. Liddell.
Lord Robert Montague. Mr. Whalley (some fun, of the gorilla
sort—he began preaching against the Pope). Mr. Seymour Fitz-
gerald (ready and able).
Thursday. Mr. Layard. He defended Lord Russell, and dealt
some good rough knocks. It was after this speech that the row came.
Mr. Gathorne Hardy. An effective Conservative speech, pleasantly
delivered.
Mr. Bentinck. Speech noticeable chiefly because this great Con-
servative is by no means full of admiration of his chiefs, and called the
resolution a rosewater one. Also, in the interest of Protestantism and
honesty, he let out his belief that the Conservatives had gained certain
of the ultramontane party, by peculiar means.
Other speakers. Sir F. Goldsmid. Mr. Cogan. Mr. Peacocke.
The Attorney-General. Lord John Manners—with a neat Latin
quotation—there has not been much classical citation in this debate.
Friday. Fourth and last night. Bernal Osborne opened, firing
away good stores. He advised the Liberals not to care what might be
the result of the division, whether dago killed Cassio, or Cassio him, or
each the other. Smart, if not statesmanly. Many speeches came after
his, but at length Lord Palmerston, loudly cheered, rose. He came
out with the old spirit. He regretted the pains the Opposition took to
degrade and vilify their country. He denied that the influence of the
country was lowered, the charge was a gratuitous libel by those who
were aiming at office. And, taking the proposed vote as one of censure,
he showed some reasons why the Government deserved something
better than censure from the country. In four years they have taken off
twelve millions of taxes. They have reduced the National Debt by
eleven millions. They have obtained a Freuoh treaty, which has
enormously increased imports and exports. They have diminished the
expenditure by three millions. They have fortified our arsenals,
established our Volunteer system, reformed India—and kept us out of
war. What could
Mr. Disraeli reply to that ? That was the real answer to the reso-
lution about Denmark. He saw which way the game was going, made
some not inapposite jokes on portions of the debate, and somewhat
gracefully threw himself on his sword.
At two in the morning of Saturday the numbers were announced.
Mr. Newdegate was with difficulty induced to withdraw his amend-
ment, and the House divided on Mr. Kinglake’s. The numbers were
313 to 295
There has been but one other House of Commons matter of import-
ance. The Street Music Bill has been read a Third Time in the Commons,
and has passed. A Metropolitan Member, eager for another claptrap,
hoped that it would be thrown out of the House of Lords. Mr. Punch,
somewhat excited with the grand debates of the week, has only leisure
to recollect what appeared in the Times newspaper, when, after a late
and furious debate, the Reform Bill was rejected. “ The Lords have
thrown out the Reform Bill. Who can say that when we next publish
there will be a House of Lords ? ” The hint may be put a little stronger
in regard to the Music Bill; as, if it be lost, it will be our painful duty
to do away with the hereditary branch of the Legislature.
_ But we have also to mention, not that it much matters, that on the
night on which the Commons declared that they would not turn out
Lord Palmerston, the Lords, by a majority of 4, (123 to 119) also
declared that they would not have Lord Derby as Premier. But
Lords on both sides then pulled out proxies, that is, the opinions of
people who had not heard the arguments, and as the Tory bundle of
these papers was a little thicker than the Liberal one, the result is called
a majority of 9 for the Derbyites. Flere is another little consolation,
with which Mr. Punch leaves them for the present.
THE GREAT ANNUAL CRICKET-MATCH.
{From our Colwell-Hatclmey Correspondent, as usual?)
The Great Annual Cricket-Match was the other day played in the
celebrated grounds not a hundred miles from Colwell Natch, between
the Hanwell Eleven and the Baker Street Eleven from Madame
Tussaud’s. It was a glorious day, and the sun beamed on the assem-
bled multitude who were engaged in piercing holes in their boots pre-
paratory to putting on their skates. The Umpire arrived in a hamper
from Town, and was immediately bound hand and foot in his chan,
which he filled to the satisfaction of every one concerned.
As the clock struck one, another clock hi the village struck two, and
a general riot ensued.
Amid the tears of the children, the execrations of the Umpire, and
the benediction of the daggers (by the kind permission of Signor
Costa, who had led his horse with his baton all the way from Town),
the game commenced.
The betting was even, the odds being in favour of the winners.
At a preconcerted signal the attack was made.
The names and colours of the riders were successively hoisted up
above the pavilion, so that they could be seen by the Dean oe St.
Paul’s, who was making shorthand notes for the convenience of the
Organist.
At 9 a.m. the wickets were pitched at the bowler, who, giving a loud
cry, fled into the wilderness. The Police are on his track.
Subjoined is the score:—
COLWELL HATCH ELEVEN
Runs.
Jones . . . Caught out first Ball.20
Charles .... (his friend).60
Somebody.... A Bargain.2s. 6d.
Artaxerxes . . In love with Stella Collas . . . 39 Not out.
Three Gentlemen . (names unknown) . . . . 45 st. 6 lbs.
Guards, Aristocrats, Crowds.1865
Sum total.(run out).2
MADAME TUSSAUD’S ELEVEN.
Mr. Cobbett . including the Clockwork snuff-box . 10J. per hour.
Commissioner Lin (Bowled, caught, stumped, run out) . 1
The Sleeping Beauty.40 winks.
King Henry VIII. . (afterwards Clown) ... 0
Cardinal Wolsey . . . (with a Song) ... 1
The rest of the Eleven (not admitted after seven) . 200
The Colwell Hatchers went in for a hundred and came out without
them. The bowling was excellent on both sides at once. The batting
was beyond all praise, and the wicket-keepers, who were smashed to
atoms, expressed themselves highly pleased with the performance.
Bootjacks were in great request for hitting people on the head with,
and fire-irons were at a premium. Among the nobility and gentry
present we were glad to notice no one we knew. The Umpire, with
strict impartiality, declared in favour of neither, until threatened with
the torture, when he succumbed.
The Colwell Hatchers went away early, but returned to finish the
game when nobody was looking.
Madame Tussaud’s Eleven were last seen melting away in the
distance.
The two Elevens subsequently dined together: the casualties were
numerous.
All returned to town, grateful to the worthy Y icar for a rational and
well-spent day.