DOI Heft:
August 13, 1864
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16874#0069
August 13, 1864.J
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
61
ASSES ON INQUESTS.
{To Coroners' Juries generally.)
Blockheads,—Head the verdict which an
intelligent jury returned in the case of Lee,
engineer, and Trainer, fireman, sent by one of
; your description to be tried for manslaughter,
on account of the deaths caused by the late
accident at Egliam. That intelligent jury de-
clared that “they were strongly of opinion that
there had been no culpable negligence on the
part of the prisoners, and that the accident had
arisen in consequence of the company having
given dangerous instructions which could not be
carried out.” You see, that if you ought to
have inflicted a trial for manslaughter on any-
body, the parties whom you should have saddled
with your verdict were the Railway Directors.
Know, blockheads, that it is your duty to de-
cide according to evidence, and not to impose
the anxiety and cost of a trial for felony on
men against whom you have none that will
sustain the charge. Observe that it is not your
business to gratify the vulgar demand that
responsibility shall be enforced on somebody or
other, right or wrong, and that there is no law
which authorises you to punish misadventure
by annoyance, with the view of inducing greater
care for the future. Recollect that you yourselves
are responsible to ‘
Note by a Stump-Orator.
This is Jack Sparkles, who used to be such a thorough Preraphaelite, as we came
UPON HIM “at work” THE OTHER DAY—AT LEAST HE CALLED IT 80. He SAID HE HAD COME
TO THE CONCLUSION THAT “ PAINTING WAS, AFTER ALL, MORE OR LESS A MATTER OF MEMORY,
AND THAT HE WAS STUDYING SKIES ! ! ”
The difference between the Science of Cricket
and Ornithology appears to be, that the one
classes together the Bat and the Bawl, the other,
the Bat and the ’Owl.
RULES AND REGULATIONS
TO BE OBSERVED BY PERSON'S VISITING ST. JAMES'S PARK.
1. Visitors may enter the Park at any hour throughout the day or
night, and, if they find the gates shut, they may scramble overthe railings.
2. Yisitors may come in any costume they think proper. Battered
hats and tattered clothing are on Sundays de rigueur.
3. Yisitors may bring with them as many dogs as they desire:
mongrels, yelping cars, and savage-looking bulldogs are especially
admissible. Por the benefit of nervous ladies and their children, no dog
is expected to be led by a string.
4. Visitors may send their dogs into the water, for the sport of
fetching sticks or chevying the water-fowl. Dogs having rough coats
are especially requested to shake themselves near other visitors who
chance to be well dressed.
5. If any Chinese duck or other valuable water-fowl be caught and
killed by any dog, it may be pocketed and cooked.
6. Visitors may walk, run, hop, skip, jump, and tumble about upon
the paths, or on the grass, or on the flower-beds, without fear of inter-
ruption by the keepers of the park, and may trample down or pluck
whatever flowers they think proper, and may climb or pull the branches
off whatever trees they please.
7. The Park being intended as a quiet place to walk in, visitors.may
play at any noisy games they like, and may shout, scream, whistle,
cat-call, shriek, sing, bawl, and bellow to their heart’s content.
8. Smoking is permitted. Dirty pipes preferred, and dirty hands to
match. Yisitors who happen to have dirty faces also are requested to
sit down by any decent-looking person, especially a lady, and to puff
their smoke as much as possible right into her face.
9. Yisitors in walking may hustle whom they choose, and, if spoken
to, may use the coarsest language they can pick.
10. Yisitors may pic-nic in the Park when they think proper, and are
especially requested to scatter about their orange-peel, and bits of dirty
paper which have served them for a table-cloth, as much as ever
they can.
11. Yisitors may use the Park chairs without paying for them, and
may turn out any sitter who is better dressed and weaker than themselves.
12. Yisitors may cut their names upon the seats and trees, or may
whittle them away, or chop them up for firewood, or disfigure them in
any other manner they prefer.
13. Yisitors may throw stones anywhere they like, and if they happen
to hurt somebody, may laugh and say, “ 0 here’s a lark! ”
14. Yisitors may cadge and beg of any one they meet, and may chaff,
insult, and worry any decent persons who, from age, sex, or infirmity,
are unable to defend themselves.
15. The Park-keepers are instructed to go to sleep and to remain out
of sight as much as possible, so as not to interfere with the proceedings
of the visitors, who are to be allowed in any way that pleases them to
misuse and spoil the Park, and make themselves and it as great a
nuisance as they like.
LAY PROM LLANGOLLEN.
“ A large party of excursionists was discharged into this peaceful locality the
other day. They had drunk freely, and commenced to be insulting and outrageous,
for which some of them were rather roughly handled by the inhabitants, and took
away some bruises and black eyes as hints for future good behaviour to unoffending
people.”—Welsh Paper.
Air—“ The Maid of Hangolien.’’
The Yale of Llangollen is all very well.
But a trip to Llangollen’s no end of a sell:
Bad luck to the day on the banks of the Dee,
When the Man of Llangollen he pitched into me.
I’d heard a good many romantic sweet tales
Of the Passes sublime in the mountains of Wales,
Things came to a pass I did not hope to see.
When the Man of Llangollen he pitched into me.
I climbed to Crow Castle as brisk as a cat.
And I ’ve just brought away a memorial of that;
Por my eyes are as black as a crow’s back can be,
Since the Man of Llangollen he pitched into me.
The jolly Welsh ale was uncommonly strong,
And through the small streets we came bawling along.
I thought on excursions all larking went free,
Till the Man of Llangollen he pitched into me.
While my nose was a bleeding, to add to my woes,
A Welsh harp played something called, Ah, heed your nose!
I knows what, 1 ’ll heed, which is larks by the Dee,
Where the Man of Llangollen he pitched into me.
Law !—The splendid new Law Courts at Manchester have cost some
thousands. Baron Pigott assured the Magistrates that they could
not in any better way have spent the Hundreds of Salford.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
61
ASSES ON INQUESTS.
{To Coroners' Juries generally.)
Blockheads,—Head the verdict which an
intelligent jury returned in the case of Lee,
engineer, and Trainer, fireman, sent by one of
; your description to be tried for manslaughter,
on account of the deaths caused by the late
accident at Egliam. That intelligent jury de-
clared that “they were strongly of opinion that
there had been no culpable negligence on the
part of the prisoners, and that the accident had
arisen in consequence of the company having
given dangerous instructions which could not be
carried out.” You see, that if you ought to
have inflicted a trial for manslaughter on any-
body, the parties whom you should have saddled
with your verdict were the Railway Directors.
Know, blockheads, that it is your duty to de-
cide according to evidence, and not to impose
the anxiety and cost of a trial for felony on
men against whom you have none that will
sustain the charge. Observe that it is not your
business to gratify the vulgar demand that
responsibility shall be enforced on somebody or
other, right or wrong, and that there is no law
which authorises you to punish misadventure
by annoyance, with the view of inducing greater
care for the future. Recollect that you yourselves
are responsible to ‘
Note by a Stump-Orator.
This is Jack Sparkles, who used to be such a thorough Preraphaelite, as we came
UPON HIM “at work” THE OTHER DAY—AT LEAST HE CALLED IT 80. He SAID HE HAD COME
TO THE CONCLUSION THAT “ PAINTING WAS, AFTER ALL, MORE OR LESS A MATTER OF MEMORY,
AND THAT HE WAS STUDYING SKIES ! ! ”
The difference between the Science of Cricket
and Ornithology appears to be, that the one
classes together the Bat and the Bawl, the other,
the Bat and the ’Owl.
RULES AND REGULATIONS
TO BE OBSERVED BY PERSON'S VISITING ST. JAMES'S PARK.
1. Visitors may enter the Park at any hour throughout the day or
night, and, if they find the gates shut, they may scramble overthe railings.
2. Yisitors may come in any costume they think proper. Battered
hats and tattered clothing are on Sundays de rigueur.
3. Yisitors may bring with them as many dogs as they desire:
mongrels, yelping cars, and savage-looking bulldogs are especially
admissible. Por the benefit of nervous ladies and their children, no dog
is expected to be led by a string.
4. Visitors may send their dogs into the water, for the sport of
fetching sticks or chevying the water-fowl. Dogs having rough coats
are especially requested to shake themselves near other visitors who
chance to be well dressed.
5. If any Chinese duck or other valuable water-fowl be caught and
killed by any dog, it may be pocketed and cooked.
6. Visitors may walk, run, hop, skip, jump, and tumble about upon
the paths, or on the grass, or on the flower-beds, without fear of inter-
ruption by the keepers of the park, and may trample down or pluck
whatever flowers they think proper, and may climb or pull the branches
off whatever trees they please.
7. The Park being intended as a quiet place to walk in, visitors.may
play at any noisy games they like, and may shout, scream, whistle,
cat-call, shriek, sing, bawl, and bellow to their heart’s content.
8. Smoking is permitted. Dirty pipes preferred, and dirty hands to
match. Yisitors who happen to have dirty faces also are requested to
sit down by any decent-looking person, especially a lady, and to puff
their smoke as much as possible right into her face.
9. Yisitors in walking may hustle whom they choose, and, if spoken
to, may use the coarsest language they can pick.
10. Yisitors may pic-nic in the Park when they think proper, and are
especially requested to scatter about their orange-peel, and bits of dirty
paper which have served them for a table-cloth, as much as ever
they can.
11. Yisitors may use the Park chairs without paying for them, and
may turn out any sitter who is better dressed and weaker than themselves.
12. Yisitors may cut their names upon the seats and trees, or may
whittle them away, or chop them up for firewood, or disfigure them in
any other manner they prefer.
13. Yisitors may throw stones anywhere they like, and if they happen
to hurt somebody, may laugh and say, “ 0 here’s a lark! ”
14. Yisitors may cadge and beg of any one they meet, and may chaff,
insult, and worry any decent persons who, from age, sex, or infirmity,
are unable to defend themselves.
15. The Park-keepers are instructed to go to sleep and to remain out
of sight as much as possible, so as not to interfere with the proceedings
of the visitors, who are to be allowed in any way that pleases them to
misuse and spoil the Park, and make themselves and it as great a
nuisance as they like.
LAY PROM LLANGOLLEN.
“ A large party of excursionists was discharged into this peaceful locality the
other day. They had drunk freely, and commenced to be insulting and outrageous,
for which some of them were rather roughly handled by the inhabitants, and took
away some bruises and black eyes as hints for future good behaviour to unoffending
people.”—Welsh Paper.
Air—“ The Maid of Hangolien.’’
The Yale of Llangollen is all very well.
But a trip to Llangollen’s no end of a sell:
Bad luck to the day on the banks of the Dee,
When the Man of Llangollen he pitched into me.
I’d heard a good many romantic sweet tales
Of the Passes sublime in the mountains of Wales,
Things came to a pass I did not hope to see.
When the Man of Llangollen he pitched into me.
I climbed to Crow Castle as brisk as a cat.
And I ’ve just brought away a memorial of that;
Por my eyes are as black as a crow’s back can be,
Since the Man of Llangollen he pitched into me.
The jolly Welsh ale was uncommonly strong,
And through the small streets we came bawling along.
I thought on excursions all larking went free,
Till the Man of Llangollen he pitched into me.
While my nose was a bleeding, to add to my woes,
A Welsh harp played something called, Ah, heed your nose!
I knows what, 1 ’ll heed, which is larks by the Dee,
Where the Man of Llangollen he pitched into me.
Law !—The splendid new Law Courts at Manchester have cost some
thousands. Baron Pigott assured the Magistrates that they could
not in any better way have spent the Hundreds of Salford.