DOI Heft:
September 17, 1864
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16874#0120
September 17, 1864.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
CABBY AT HIS CLUB.
Hansom Cabby (loq.) “ Vell, I always likes to get a Gent as is a Smokin’; eor yer see Bad ’Bacca and Bad Fare goes
TOGETHER, AND WlCEY-VVeRSEY. So I JEST SMELLS THE GENT (!) THROUGH THE TRAP a’tOP, AND DkiVES HIM ACCORDIN’!”
__
RAILWAY SUTTEE.
Railway Directors! A letter in the Morning Post contains an
alarming account of a fire in a railway carriage, caused by a lump of
burning coke which entered it from the engine. This accident chanced
to happen on the Paris and Strasbourg line, but the like might occur
any day on a British one. The carriage contained “ two ladies in light
summer dresses, with one other gentleman ” than the gentleman who
narrates the accident. “ In an instant the cushions and the trimmings
of the carriages were in flames and the ladies in hysterics. I had,”
continues the latter gentleman, “the presence of mind to close the
window at once to stop the draught, and applying my paletot, which
Poole sent me this day week, I succeeded in stifling the nascent con-
| flagration.” The Poole that furnished this paletot could not, of course,
supply the water which would have been more effectual. Not only was
the paletot sacrificed, but in that sacrifice the hands of Mu. Poole’s
client were “ dreadfully burnt to the bone, and ” his “ shattered nerves
received a shock which,” he remarks, “ they are not fitted to endure.”
He adds, “I.shudder at the contemplation of what might have occurred
had the blazing mass fallen into the lap of one of the lovely Trench
girls seated in the carriage.” In conclusion, he mentions that, on the
same line last year, a lady and a gentleman in a coupe near the head of
; a train were actually burnt to death.
These.facts. Gentlemen, imperatively require you to provide all your
trains .with a water supply sufficient to extinguish any fire which may
occur in any one of the carriages. The great danger is not that the fittings,
but that other contents of the carriage, much more combustible, may
catch fire. If there is a lady therein, it is sure to be filled with linen-
drapery. These inflammable fabrics are spread out on a steel cage
apparently made on purpose to ventilate them in the event of their
ignition. Should, they ignite, the consequence must be a sudden rush
of flame, and the instantaneous conversion of what we may call Beauty
into animal charcoal!
Well, gentlemen, this may not much signify to Beauty, which would
not surround itself with fuel, disposed for a Suttee, if it were not pre-
pared, morally as well as physically, to undergo cremation at any time,
But what if one of you were the companion of Beauty thus all at once
enveloped in blazes ? If, Mr. Chairman, tua res agitur, paries cuni
proximus ardet, how much more when your fellow passenger’s crino-
line and all its paraphernalia are in flames P What are you to do P Put
the lady out, if but for your own sake. But how, without a sufficiency
of water ?
Connected with a properly constructed reservoir, a hose, running the
whole length of the train, and sending into every carriage a branch
fitted with a stopcock, would enable any gentleman at a moment’s
notice to constitute himself fireman to a lady on fire. With this con-
trivance you might, if sufficiently alert, play on the blazing fal-lals, at
least in time to save yourself from being involved in their conflagration,
and thus affording a meal to the devouring element.
The hose should extend into all the carriages, third class and all.
Crinoline is worn without regard to circumstances; and lucifer matches
are likely to explode at distances safe from sparks out of the engine.
Gentlemen will smoke if ladies will allow them, and ladies, as they
increase in manliness, will soon smoke toe.
“Husbands, insure your Wives.” This, gentlemen, is a caution
which you ought to post conspicuously af every station, with the lurthei
warning of “ Doubly Hazardous.”
Hiddle.
{Picked up iuring the very las! Pall of the Season.)
Suppose you find Captain Cooing and Miss Billing together, in i
convenient flirting corner, “sitting out” a quadrille. Why is that cir«
cumstance remarkably like two o’clock in the morning P—Because it ’n
Two, a-hem ! (Oh!)
Dlfperent Ways oe Travelling.—Man travels to expand hir
ideas ; but Woman,—judging from the number of boxes she invariablr
takes with her,—travels only with the object of expanding her dresses.'
CABBY AT HIS CLUB.
Hansom Cabby (loq.) “ Vell, I always likes to get a Gent as is a Smokin’; eor yer see Bad ’Bacca and Bad Fare goes
TOGETHER, AND WlCEY-VVeRSEY. So I JEST SMELLS THE GENT (!) THROUGH THE TRAP a’tOP, AND DkiVES HIM ACCORDIN’!”
__
RAILWAY SUTTEE.
Railway Directors! A letter in the Morning Post contains an
alarming account of a fire in a railway carriage, caused by a lump of
burning coke which entered it from the engine. This accident chanced
to happen on the Paris and Strasbourg line, but the like might occur
any day on a British one. The carriage contained “ two ladies in light
summer dresses, with one other gentleman ” than the gentleman who
narrates the accident. “ In an instant the cushions and the trimmings
of the carriages were in flames and the ladies in hysterics. I had,”
continues the latter gentleman, “the presence of mind to close the
window at once to stop the draught, and applying my paletot, which
Poole sent me this day week, I succeeded in stifling the nascent con-
| flagration.” The Poole that furnished this paletot could not, of course,
supply the water which would have been more effectual. Not only was
the paletot sacrificed, but in that sacrifice the hands of Mu. Poole’s
client were “ dreadfully burnt to the bone, and ” his “ shattered nerves
received a shock which,” he remarks, “ they are not fitted to endure.”
He adds, “I.shudder at the contemplation of what might have occurred
had the blazing mass fallen into the lap of one of the lovely Trench
girls seated in the carriage.” In conclusion, he mentions that, on the
same line last year, a lady and a gentleman in a coupe near the head of
; a train were actually burnt to death.
These.facts. Gentlemen, imperatively require you to provide all your
trains .with a water supply sufficient to extinguish any fire which may
occur in any one of the carriages. The great danger is not that the fittings,
but that other contents of the carriage, much more combustible, may
catch fire. If there is a lady therein, it is sure to be filled with linen-
drapery. These inflammable fabrics are spread out on a steel cage
apparently made on purpose to ventilate them in the event of their
ignition. Should, they ignite, the consequence must be a sudden rush
of flame, and the instantaneous conversion of what we may call Beauty
into animal charcoal!
Well, gentlemen, this may not much signify to Beauty, which would
not surround itself with fuel, disposed for a Suttee, if it were not pre-
pared, morally as well as physically, to undergo cremation at any time,
But what if one of you were the companion of Beauty thus all at once
enveloped in blazes ? If, Mr. Chairman, tua res agitur, paries cuni
proximus ardet, how much more when your fellow passenger’s crino-
line and all its paraphernalia are in flames P What are you to do P Put
the lady out, if but for your own sake. But how, without a sufficiency
of water ?
Connected with a properly constructed reservoir, a hose, running the
whole length of the train, and sending into every carriage a branch
fitted with a stopcock, would enable any gentleman at a moment’s
notice to constitute himself fireman to a lady on fire. With this con-
trivance you might, if sufficiently alert, play on the blazing fal-lals, at
least in time to save yourself from being involved in their conflagration,
and thus affording a meal to the devouring element.
The hose should extend into all the carriages, third class and all.
Crinoline is worn without regard to circumstances; and lucifer matches
are likely to explode at distances safe from sparks out of the engine.
Gentlemen will smoke if ladies will allow them, and ladies, as they
increase in manliness, will soon smoke toe.
“Husbands, insure your Wives.” This, gentlemen, is a caution
which you ought to post conspicuously af every station, with the lurthei
warning of “ Doubly Hazardous.”
Hiddle.
{Picked up iuring the very las! Pall of the Season.)
Suppose you find Captain Cooing and Miss Billing together, in i
convenient flirting corner, “sitting out” a quadrille. Why is that cir«
cumstance remarkably like two o’clock in the morning P—Because it ’n
Two, a-hem ! (Oh!)
Dlfperent Ways oe Travelling.—Man travels to expand hir
ideas ; but Woman,—judging from the number of boxes she invariablr
takes with her,—travels only with the object of expanding her dresses.'