DOI Heft:
July 23, 1864
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16874#0039
July 23, 1864.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
31
A PLEASANT KIND OF UNCLE.
Scene—Inside a Cab. Uncle on back seat. Two nice boys on front seat.
Uncle. “Now, Reginald, look over my Head, and tell me the Number op this Cab.”
Reginald {slowly). “One, Sis, Sis, Eight.”
Uncle (sternly). “How dare you, Sir? Say Sixteen Hundred and Sixty-eight. Now,
James. What important Events in English Bistory happened in 1668 ?”
[The Roys think they might as well not be out for a Cheerful Holiday.
“WHERE’S REBECCA?”
Where is Rebecca, Lady Crawley nee Sharp?
The last time we heard of her ladyship was soon
after the death of his excellency, Sir Rawdon
Crawley, when she had taken to distributing
tracts. If that occupation have not weaned her
from worldly vanities, Lady Crawley had better
go over to Paris, and join her illustrious family,
that of Montmorency', in its protest against Im-
perial caprice. It seems that the noble old title
of Due de Montmorency (no one can forget
Rebecca’s claim of kindred) having become ex-
tinct, the Emperor has revived it, and bestowed
it on the Due de Talleyrand-Perigord, who,
if his pedigree be rightly stated, has as good a
claim as anybody to that which nobody has a
right to claim at all. But all the branches of the
old family are in arms, heraldic and metaphoric,
and they appeal to such law as the Elected of the
Millions has left them, for a sentence against his
act. Surely Rebecca Lady Crayvley will be
heard of in the matter, and it appears to Mr.
Ranch that on the ground of respectability, she
is quite as much entitled to be heard as a good
many who are mixed up in the fray. “My mo-
ther was a Montmorency ” should be a passport
to the Tuileries itself, where anything like old
blood must be at a premium, among such bril-
liancies as the Due De la Bourse, the Baron
Eitz-Boucherie, and the Vicomte Cirque-
Olympique, Rn avant, Rebecca Lady Craw-
ley! Noblesse Oblige.
No Such Luck.
The Savoy Chapel has been burned, with the
Savoy organ. Could we make this last word
plural, we should almost he consoled. Quite,
were the word “organists.”
Piscatorial. — Shakespearian Angler’s Song
to his bait: “ Sleep, Gentle, Sleep.”
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OE PARLIAMENT.
July, 11 th, Monday. The feelings of the Clergymen who are adverse
to saying what is charitable over a deceased person continue to find an
exponent in Lord Eburt, who persists in demanding an alteration of
the beautiful burial service of the Church. The Archbishop op
Canterbury has no objection to a commission for inquiring into the
subject. The Bishop of London will not hear of alterations in the
service, but thinks that something might be done to relax the law under
which the Clergyman is compelled to speak charitably of those whom
he would prefer to describe to their friends as having gone to a place of
torture. It will be a pity if some anodyne be not invented for these
gentle-hearted portions of the surplice population.
The Marquis of Westmeath, who is seventy-nine years of age, and
who, having recently been divorced from his second wife, has just
married a third, is entitled, both from his age and from his experience
of church ceremonies, to complain of the inconvenient mode in which
the services are arranged in the Chapels-Royal. The subject, how-
ever, is not one of intense interest to the public generally, and
we do not know, in fact, what the conjugal Marquis complains
about.
On the Shutting Public Houses Bill (which was afterwards passed)
Lord Brougham called attention to the advantages of the Cheap
Kitchens, of which Mr. Punch has said so much. Lord Brougham
apprised the Peers that for a penny he had obtained a basin of as good
soup as any of their Lordships could get at home, and that for fourpence
a plate of meat and vegetables of similar excellence can be had. Did
not Mr. Punch introduce the system from Glasgow ? Knowing that
such excellent and cheap food can be had, why do young idiots go to
slap-bangs and eat sodden meat ? Because they think such places
more “ genteel.” But they are very foolish, especially the short-pipe
smokers, who need nourishing food to counteract the stunting process
which is making them such wretched little sallow animals that one
really hates to look at them on the top of the omnibus, where, by the
way, they have no business to be, for they ought to walk to their work.
If Lord Brougham did not say all this, he thought it, and Mr. Punch
means to get him to say it some evening.
Mr. Eerrand, making a great row (though he had more than one
good case to-night, but spoiled it by his violence) was told by Sir
George Grey that he “ always spoke under great excitement, and was
not aware what he said.”
’ The House then “ laughed consumedly ” at Mr. Darby Griffith,
but this is the regular amusement of the House, and hardly worth
chronicling. He asked some absurd question about-what does it
signify ?
On an Irish Education Vote, to which of course we should not refer
were there not something more interesting than Irish Education involved,
there was told, by a Minister, a little romance which beats all the
sensationists. An Irish gentleman lay under the misfortune of being
suspected of murdering his wife by poison. The interior of the departed
was sent to the surgeons at the Cork infirmary to be analysed. The
unfortunate L'ish gentleman had fallen in love with a new Irish lady,
who was to wed. him as soon as he was legally acquitted of getting
irregularly free from the first marriage. So lie bribed a porter, or
somebody, at the infirmary, to set the place on fire, in order that any
evidence that might be obtained from the interior of his wife might be
destroyed; and the plan was carried out with partial success. Now
that is something like a story, and ive have a presentiment that we
shall read it in a book, and the novelist will introduce the usual clumsy
vindication of a disagreeable tale—“ it actually occurred,” as if that had
anything to do with art.
Einally, we had a British Museum debate, and Mr. Walpole men-
tioned various interesting purchases that had been made, none of which,
any more than a whole host of other invaluable things, can the public
see, until those beasts and birds shall be taken away. While we can
see four beautiful giraffes and two hippopotamuses alive, it is too
absurd to fling lovely Greek marbles into a cellar, to leave room lor
that dusty splitting old straddler of a camelopard, and the wooden-
looking river-horse at the Museum.
Tuesday. Lord Shaftesbury, having mentioned a rumour that the
Prussians had murdered 400 Swedish Volunteers in cold blood, and
being informed by Lord Russell that he had ascertained that the
burglars were not guilty of this crime, expressed his satisfaction, but
declined to make any apology, fairly arguing that the general conduct
31
A PLEASANT KIND OF UNCLE.
Scene—Inside a Cab. Uncle on back seat. Two nice boys on front seat.
Uncle. “Now, Reginald, look over my Head, and tell me the Number op this Cab.”
Reginald {slowly). “One, Sis, Sis, Eight.”
Uncle (sternly). “How dare you, Sir? Say Sixteen Hundred and Sixty-eight. Now,
James. What important Events in English Bistory happened in 1668 ?”
[The Roys think they might as well not be out for a Cheerful Holiday.
“WHERE’S REBECCA?”
Where is Rebecca, Lady Crawley nee Sharp?
The last time we heard of her ladyship was soon
after the death of his excellency, Sir Rawdon
Crawley, when she had taken to distributing
tracts. If that occupation have not weaned her
from worldly vanities, Lady Crawley had better
go over to Paris, and join her illustrious family,
that of Montmorency', in its protest against Im-
perial caprice. It seems that the noble old title
of Due de Montmorency (no one can forget
Rebecca’s claim of kindred) having become ex-
tinct, the Emperor has revived it, and bestowed
it on the Due de Talleyrand-Perigord, who,
if his pedigree be rightly stated, has as good a
claim as anybody to that which nobody has a
right to claim at all. But all the branches of the
old family are in arms, heraldic and metaphoric,
and they appeal to such law as the Elected of the
Millions has left them, for a sentence against his
act. Surely Rebecca Lady Crayvley will be
heard of in the matter, and it appears to Mr.
Ranch that on the ground of respectability, she
is quite as much entitled to be heard as a good
many who are mixed up in the fray. “My mo-
ther was a Montmorency ” should be a passport
to the Tuileries itself, where anything like old
blood must be at a premium, among such bril-
liancies as the Due De la Bourse, the Baron
Eitz-Boucherie, and the Vicomte Cirque-
Olympique, Rn avant, Rebecca Lady Craw-
ley! Noblesse Oblige.
No Such Luck.
The Savoy Chapel has been burned, with the
Savoy organ. Could we make this last word
plural, we should almost he consoled. Quite,
were the word “organists.”
Piscatorial. — Shakespearian Angler’s Song
to his bait: “ Sleep, Gentle, Sleep.”
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OE PARLIAMENT.
July, 11 th, Monday. The feelings of the Clergymen who are adverse
to saying what is charitable over a deceased person continue to find an
exponent in Lord Eburt, who persists in demanding an alteration of
the beautiful burial service of the Church. The Archbishop op
Canterbury has no objection to a commission for inquiring into the
subject. The Bishop of London will not hear of alterations in the
service, but thinks that something might be done to relax the law under
which the Clergyman is compelled to speak charitably of those whom
he would prefer to describe to their friends as having gone to a place of
torture. It will be a pity if some anodyne be not invented for these
gentle-hearted portions of the surplice population.
The Marquis of Westmeath, who is seventy-nine years of age, and
who, having recently been divorced from his second wife, has just
married a third, is entitled, both from his age and from his experience
of church ceremonies, to complain of the inconvenient mode in which
the services are arranged in the Chapels-Royal. The subject, how-
ever, is not one of intense interest to the public generally, and
we do not know, in fact, what the conjugal Marquis complains
about.
On the Shutting Public Houses Bill (which was afterwards passed)
Lord Brougham called attention to the advantages of the Cheap
Kitchens, of which Mr. Punch has said so much. Lord Brougham
apprised the Peers that for a penny he had obtained a basin of as good
soup as any of their Lordships could get at home, and that for fourpence
a plate of meat and vegetables of similar excellence can be had. Did
not Mr. Punch introduce the system from Glasgow ? Knowing that
such excellent and cheap food can be had, why do young idiots go to
slap-bangs and eat sodden meat ? Because they think such places
more “ genteel.” But they are very foolish, especially the short-pipe
smokers, who need nourishing food to counteract the stunting process
which is making them such wretched little sallow animals that one
really hates to look at them on the top of the omnibus, where, by the
way, they have no business to be, for they ought to walk to their work.
If Lord Brougham did not say all this, he thought it, and Mr. Punch
means to get him to say it some evening.
Mr. Eerrand, making a great row (though he had more than one
good case to-night, but spoiled it by his violence) was told by Sir
George Grey that he “ always spoke under great excitement, and was
not aware what he said.”
’ The House then “ laughed consumedly ” at Mr. Darby Griffith,
but this is the regular amusement of the House, and hardly worth
chronicling. He asked some absurd question about-what does it
signify ?
On an Irish Education Vote, to which of course we should not refer
were there not something more interesting than Irish Education involved,
there was told, by a Minister, a little romance which beats all the
sensationists. An Irish gentleman lay under the misfortune of being
suspected of murdering his wife by poison. The interior of the departed
was sent to the surgeons at the Cork infirmary to be analysed. The
unfortunate L'ish gentleman had fallen in love with a new Irish lady,
who was to wed. him as soon as he was legally acquitted of getting
irregularly free from the first marriage. So lie bribed a porter, or
somebody, at the infirmary, to set the place on fire, in order that any
evidence that might be obtained from the interior of his wife might be
destroyed; and the plan was carried out with partial success. Now
that is something like a story, and ive have a presentiment that we
shall read it in a book, and the novelist will introduce the usual clumsy
vindication of a disagreeable tale—“ it actually occurred,” as if that had
anything to do with art.
Einally, we had a British Museum debate, and Mr. Walpole men-
tioned various interesting purchases that had been made, none of which,
any more than a whole host of other invaluable things, can the public
see, until those beasts and birds shall be taken away. While we can
see four beautiful giraffes and two hippopotamuses alive, it is too
absurd to fling lovely Greek marbles into a cellar, to leave room lor
that dusty splitting old straddler of a camelopard, and the wooden-
looking river-horse at the Museum.
Tuesday. Lord Shaftesbury, having mentioned a rumour that the
Prussians had murdered 400 Swedish Volunteers in cold blood, and
being informed by Lord Russell that he had ascertained that the
burglars were not guilty of this crime, expressed his satisfaction, but
declined to make any apology, fairly arguing that the general conduct