DOI Heft:
October 1, 1864
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16874#0140
October 1, 1864.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CPIARIVAPI
133
THE BRANCH STATION.
Miss Tremmles (who is nervous about Railways generally, and especially since the
late outrages). “Oh, Porter, put me into a Carriage where there are Ladies,
or Respectable People, or—”
Porter. “Oh, you’re all Safe this Mornin’, Miss; you’re th’ only Pas-
senger in the whol’ Tr’ine, except another Old Woman.”
THE DIFFERENCE ABOUT DENMARK.
& 2Buct.
Between Count Bismarck and Earl Russell.
Bismarck.
The Danish affair Europe views
Arrived at a nice termination.
We hope that you will not refuse
To acknowledge our great moderation.
We have not dismembered the State
Of Denmark, by right of the stronger ;
We only have lightened its weight
Of the Duchies it couldn’t keep longer.
We ’ve dropped the demand to be paid
The cost of resisted invasion.
What clemency we have displayed
On this very provoking occasion!
As we have seized less than we might,
And stopped short of total exaction,
We trust you will do ns the right
With our work to express satisfaction.
Russell.
’Twould better have pleased us to hold
Our tongues, than express our opinion;
But since you will have the truth told,
Your invasion of Denmark’s dominion
Was as needless as it was unjust,
And Denmark you have, with faith broken,
Dismembered, if that which is must,
And not that which is not, be spoken.
The Duchies, of course we expect
You ’ll bless with a free Constitution,
And let them their Sovereign elect,
Seeing that is the only solution
That peace can in Europe maintain,
Observe, you two Powers that broke it
To assert Nationality’s reign.
Now, put that in your meerschaums and smoke it.
Motto for the South-Eastern Company’s Refresh-
ment Rooms.—“ 0 Swallow, Swallow, flying, flying South! ”
The Travellers’ Club.-
it’s an Alpenstock.
-We never heard of it, imless
FROM OUR MUSICAL CRITIC.
I shay Punch olefler I’ve jush been to Brum, no, Birmingham, to
hear Singer—mean shay Senior Costa’s new Oratorio, and I’m qui
intox hicated with delight. Of course you know its name is Namen,
no, thatsh not spelt righ is it? And the muse-hic is worth namin
whenever you’ve an operatunity. But I shay isn’t it a Q, no, mean
shay kewrious tribute to influence of Schchumannn (I doe think that’s
righ either) that Senior Costa shou compose an Orootoriorio about
a Shumannite ?
No time to shay more, because it’s after dinner, and the postsh jush
going, so I remain yourshtruly.
Blessh me yes of course qui forgot to sign my name, bur you know
war it is don’t you ? blesht if I can recomember it.
ANOTHER RAILWAY ALARM.
Old Woman (as the train stops). Tell me, my dear, what station is
this ?
Little Boy (looking out, and seeing the name, whatever it may mean,
written in large letters on a conspicuous hoard). Panklibanon, Ma.
Old Woman (after satisjying herself with the same inspection, begins
screaming violently out of the window). Here Guard, Guard, I say? I
don’t want the Panklibanon Station. I am going on to Red Hill.
[It is only after considerable difficulty that the Old Lady is con-
vinced that Panklibanon is not the name of a Station, but of
some mysterious article of manufacture, which no one has been
able as yet to
Russian Absolutism.—“ Che Czara, Czara.’
SOLUTION OP A DIFFICULTY.
Everybody knows that there are in existence two skulls. of Oliver
Cromwell, and that the smaller one is satisfactorily explained by the
curator in charge thereof to have been good King Oliver’s skull when
he was a little boy. We have now a somewhat parallel case. At the
Archseological Meeting at Warwick, Lord Denbigh exhibited the
dagger with which Felton killed the Duke of Buckingham. Mr.
Thistlethwayte, of Hampshire, has also the dagger with which the
deed was done. Were it necessary to choose between the relics, we
hope that we know our place too well not to give the verdict in favour
of the dagger belonging to the nobleman. But there is no need for an
invidious selection. Felton was a very determined man, and no doubt
took a dagger in each hand, and brought the bad duke to account by
double entry. It is pleasant when an archaeological problem can be so
simply solved.
Paved with Gold.
Asked Mr. Disraeli, the other day,
“ What would have been the effect upon England if this year there had been Gold
Drains?”
We hardly know, but we think that England would have been very
much astonished, and would have believed that in laying them down a
first step was being taken to realise the provincial idea of London,
whose streets are paved with gold. The question illustrates the gorgeous
Oriental imagination of the Conservative leader.
GOLDEN RULE FOR BRITISH TRAVELLERS.
In most towns of the Continent, you may be sure that a little
English goes a great deal farther than any quantity of bad Erench.
mod
Vol. 47.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CPIARIVAPI
133
THE BRANCH STATION.
Miss Tremmles (who is nervous about Railways generally, and especially since the
late outrages). “Oh, Porter, put me into a Carriage where there are Ladies,
or Respectable People, or—”
Porter. “Oh, you’re all Safe this Mornin’, Miss; you’re th’ only Pas-
senger in the whol’ Tr’ine, except another Old Woman.”
THE DIFFERENCE ABOUT DENMARK.
& 2Buct.
Between Count Bismarck and Earl Russell.
Bismarck.
The Danish affair Europe views
Arrived at a nice termination.
We hope that you will not refuse
To acknowledge our great moderation.
We have not dismembered the State
Of Denmark, by right of the stronger ;
We only have lightened its weight
Of the Duchies it couldn’t keep longer.
We ’ve dropped the demand to be paid
The cost of resisted invasion.
What clemency we have displayed
On this very provoking occasion!
As we have seized less than we might,
And stopped short of total exaction,
We trust you will do ns the right
With our work to express satisfaction.
Russell.
’Twould better have pleased us to hold
Our tongues, than express our opinion;
But since you will have the truth told,
Your invasion of Denmark’s dominion
Was as needless as it was unjust,
And Denmark you have, with faith broken,
Dismembered, if that which is must,
And not that which is not, be spoken.
The Duchies, of course we expect
You ’ll bless with a free Constitution,
And let them their Sovereign elect,
Seeing that is the only solution
That peace can in Europe maintain,
Observe, you two Powers that broke it
To assert Nationality’s reign.
Now, put that in your meerschaums and smoke it.
Motto for the South-Eastern Company’s Refresh-
ment Rooms.—“ 0 Swallow, Swallow, flying, flying South! ”
The Travellers’ Club.-
it’s an Alpenstock.
-We never heard of it, imless
FROM OUR MUSICAL CRITIC.
I shay Punch olefler I’ve jush been to Brum, no, Birmingham, to
hear Singer—mean shay Senior Costa’s new Oratorio, and I’m qui
intox hicated with delight. Of course you know its name is Namen,
no, thatsh not spelt righ is it? And the muse-hic is worth namin
whenever you’ve an operatunity. But I shay isn’t it a Q, no, mean
shay kewrious tribute to influence of Schchumannn (I doe think that’s
righ either) that Senior Costa shou compose an Orootoriorio about
a Shumannite ?
No time to shay more, because it’s after dinner, and the postsh jush
going, so I remain yourshtruly.
Blessh me yes of course qui forgot to sign my name, bur you know
war it is don’t you ? blesht if I can recomember it.
ANOTHER RAILWAY ALARM.
Old Woman (as the train stops). Tell me, my dear, what station is
this ?
Little Boy (looking out, and seeing the name, whatever it may mean,
written in large letters on a conspicuous hoard). Panklibanon, Ma.
Old Woman (after satisjying herself with the same inspection, begins
screaming violently out of the window). Here Guard, Guard, I say? I
don’t want the Panklibanon Station. I am going on to Red Hill.
[It is only after considerable difficulty that the Old Lady is con-
vinced that Panklibanon is not the name of a Station, but of
some mysterious article of manufacture, which no one has been
able as yet to
Russian Absolutism.—“ Che Czara, Czara.’
SOLUTION OP A DIFFICULTY.
Everybody knows that there are in existence two skulls. of Oliver
Cromwell, and that the smaller one is satisfactorily explained by the
curator in charge thereof to have been good King Oliver’s skull when
he was a little boy. We have now a somewhat parallel case. At the
Archseological Meeting at Warwick, Lord Denbigh exhibited the
dagger with which Felton killed the Duke of Buckingham. Mr.
Thistlethwayte, of Hampshire, has also the dagger with which the
deed was done. Were it necessary to choose between the relics, we
hope that we know our place too well not to give the verdict in favour
of the dagger belonging to the nobleman. But there is no need for an
invidious selection. Felton was a very determined man, and no doubt
took a dagger in each hand, and brought the bad duke to account by
double entry. It is pleasant when an archaeological problem can be so
simply solved.
Paved with Gold.
Asked Mr. Disraeli, the other day,
“ What would have been the effect upon England if this year there had been Gold
Drains?”
We hardly know, but we think that England would have been very
much astonished, and would have believed that in laying them down a
first step was being taken to realise the provincial idea of London,
whose streets are paved with gold. The question illustrates the gorgeous
Oriental imagination of the Conservative leader.
GOLDEN RULE FOR BRITISH TRAVELLERS.
In most towns of the Continent, you may be sure that a little
English goes a great deal farther than any quantity of bad Erench.
mod
Vol. 47.