DOI issue:
August 6, 1864
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16874#0059
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
51
August 6, 186 1
Acclimatisation is all very well in its way—but it is no Joke, on rising
'i o the Surface, after taking a Header, to find a lively Hippopotamus as
your Companion of the Bath.
SALVATION OP A SERVANT GAL.
Pleze ser your artishes wery Orphan clrors Characters of survant mades In
rrinoleen matin hof us look ridiclus And the Same Way your littery gentamen
Poakin their Funn at us in Print about Our catchin Pier continually and 13ein
bernt to deth now mr. punch don’t be onjust and So mutch as Yuve sed a Bout the
Accidence a Risen from Crenoline by fier to Pore servunts its only fare for U to
acnolige the Perservation wich an instance of the Enclosed and Having by the Elp
nf a pear of Cesars instructed from the Thames nusepaper i ave the Plesure at this
(Iportunity to reques faver of your assertion :—
PROFESSIONAL LOVE SONG.
THE LAWYER.
Spinster of the Saxon beauty,
At the Grainthorpe Manor mill.
Of this heart you’ve had possession
Since I made my uncle’s will:
Yours the image all-engrossing
_ When I try to read Reports,
You, my Amy, am I drawing,
Even in the Chancery Courts.
Ah ! that brow as smooth as—vellum—
Ah ! those lips vermilion red—
Kisses wherewith I have sealed them
No one ever witnessed :
I would sue the man who ventured
To deny you dressed with taste,
I would tax his costs who hinted
An “impeachment ” of your waist.
Soon the long vacation’s coming,
Soon the weary term wrill end;
No more writs and affidavits,
No more actions to defend:
I shall take the first conveyance—
Train at five p.m.—express—-
I shall count the sluggish moments—•
Forty minutes, more or less.
Meet me. Cousin, at the Station
With the trap that’s duty tree,
It can take my rods and gun-case,
We will walk, prochein Amy,
Past the glebe and old inclosure.
Past the deeply mortgaged inn.
On to where the freeholds finish
And the copyholds begin.
There I ’ll make my declaration.
There I ’ll pause and plead my suit;
Do not let it be “ in error,”
Do not be of malice mute;
But “surrender” to your Cousin
In the customary way.
And become the donee, dearest,
Of an opal negligee.
I’ve a messuage—recent purchase—
Sixty-eight in Mortmayne Row,
Title good, and unencumbered,
Gas and water laid below ;
Come and share it, undisputed
Owner of this heart in fee.
Come and be my junior partner.
And my better moiety :
J. P. Wilde shall never part us,
And in time we both may see.
Girls, fair copies of their mother,
Boys, the counterpart of me.
“Saved by Crinoline.—A few days ago a nursemaid lost her way on the cliffs at Newquay,
and went close to the edge of the precipitous cliffs, when she slipped and fell to the beach below,
a distance of a 108 feet. Her crinoline expanding with the air, however, so broke the fall that she
1 inded without a scratch or bruise, and, although much shaken, was able at once to walk 100
yards and inform her mistress of the occui-rence.— Western Morning Nms”
there now mister punch wot do yew say to That if it addent a Bm for that
nussmade’s crinna lean to a certingty Shed A broak Er neck and wosent It a
mersy she Add it on so now pleas sur doan’t Never say Anuther wurd agin
erinulen Nor yet ave bus Drord in it Stickin bout so Hand lookin like Stoopids
but instedd of witch a nise Coppy of Yersis and a Pieter of the Nussmade a
dissentin from the Clift like a Haiugel from Eving or the Hintreppid feemail airy
*) a ventrin Down the Presipidge in a Parashoot. There is praps sum objexons
19 crinnolin for cookes andkit.ching modes Att the Fyre i wont say but wott, it may
be out a place but for them Has as to Wawk bout with Childern and look Respect-
able an ispesially on Lorfty cliftes and eye winds you must Admitt is a Savin of
I luman life and leastways Becomin to Nussmades anyow Its werry tru crinuline
sum time ketches fiar, but for Wunce in the way u se were cort by the Wind witch
11if itt ad not Bin hall Up i mene al Downtvith the wearher so no more cryin Down
hoops which now in course we air hall cock a hoop and i remain beleave mee yure
Afectionit umbel Sear vent
SARY JAIN.
P.S. i Think it Wos a good Puff for Crineline.
Belgraveyard Guty 1S134.
TEXTS TRANSPOSED.
My dear Parents,
At the request of my Preceptor I furnish you
with a few specimens of my caligraphy, consisting of moral
sentiments and maxims of my own selection:—
Procrastination is the soul of business.
Punctuality is the thief of Time.
Familiarity doth breed respect.
Virtue is its own punishment.
Vice is its own reward.
Diligence ensures fatigue.
Application is painful. _
Industry commands privation.
Perseverance will fail.
Caution comes t,o grief.
In the pleasing hope that the foregoing evidences of
my improved handwriting, and of my moral and intellectual
progress, may merit and he rewarded with your kind appro-
bation, I remain, my dear Parents,
Your Affectionate Child,
Mentor House Academy. Jim.
51
August 6, 186 1
Acclimatisation is all very well in its way—but it is no Joke, on rising
'i o the Surface, after taking a Header, to find a lively Hippopotamus as
your Companion of the Bath.
SALVATION OP A SERVANT GAL.
Pleze ser your artishes wery Orphan clrors Characters of survant mades In
rrinoleen matin hof us look ridiclus And the Same Way your littery gentamen
Poakin their Funn at us in Print about Our catchin Pier continually and 13ein
bernt to deth now mr. punch don’t be onjust and So mutch as Yuve sed a Bout the
Accidence a Risen from Crenoline by fier to Pore servunts its only fare for U to
acnolige the Perservation wich an instance of the Enclosed and Having by the Elp
nf a pear of Cesars instructed from the Thames nusepaper i ave the Plesure at this
(Iportunity to reques faver of your assertion :—
PROFESSIONAL LOVE SONG.
THE LAWYER.
Spinster of the Saxon beauty,
At the Grainthorpe Manor mill.
Of this heart you’ve had possession
Since I made my uncle’s will:
Yours the image all-engrossing
_ When I try to read Reports,
You, my Amy, am I drawing,
Even in the Chancery Courts.
Ah ! that brow as smooth as—vellum—
Ah ! those lips vermilion red—
Kisses wherewith I have sealed them
No one ever witnessed :
I would sue the man who ventured
To deny you dressed with taste,
I would tax his costs who hinted
An “impeachment ” of your waist.
Soon the long vacation’s coming,
Soon the weary term wrill end;
No more writs and affidavits,
No more actions to defend:
I shall take the first conveyance—
Train at five p.m.—express—-
I shall count the sluggish moments—•
Forty minutes, more or less.
Meet me. Cousin, at the Station
With the trap that’s duty tree,
It can take my rods and gun-case,
We will walk, prochein Amy,
Past the glebe and old inclosure.
Past the deeply mortgaged inn.
On to where the freeholds finish
And the copyholds begin.
There I ’ll make my declaration.
There I ’ll pause and plead my suit;
Do not let it be “ in error,”
Do not be of malice mute;
But “surrender” to your Cousin
In the customary way.
And become the donee, dearest,
Of an opal negligee.
I’ve a messuage—recent purchase—
Sixty-eight in Mortmayne Row,
Title good, and unencumbered,
Gas and water laid below ;
Come and share it, undisputed
Owner of this heart in fee.
Come and be my junior partner.
And my better moiety :
J. P. Wilde shall never part us,
And in time we both may see.
Girls, fair copies of their mother,
Boys, the counterpart of me.
“Saved by Crinoline.—A few days ago a nursemaid lost her way on the cliffs at Newquay,
and went close to the edge of the precipitous cliffs, when she slipped and fell to the beach below,
a distance of a 108 feet. Her crinoline expanding with the air, however, so broke the fall that she
1 inded without a scratch or bruise, and, although much shaken, was able at once to walk 100
yards and inform her mistress of the occui-rence.— Western Morning Nms”
there now mister punch wot do yew say to That if it addent a Bm for that
nussmade’s crinna lean to a certingty Shed A broak Er neck and wosent It a
mersy she Add it on so now pleas sur doan’t Never say Anuther wurd agin
erinulen Nor yet ave bus Drord in it Stickin bout so Hand lookin like Stoopids
but instedd of witch a nise Coppy of Yersis and a Pieter of the Nussmade a
dissentin from the Clift like a Haiugel from Eving or the Hintreppid feemail airy
*) a ventrin Down the Presipidge in a Parashoot. There is praps sum objexons
19 crinnolin for cookes andkit.ching modes Att the Fyre i wont say but wott, it may
be out a place but for them Has as to Wawk bout with Childern and look Respect-
able an ispesially on Lorfty cliftes and eye winds you must Admitt is a Savin of
I luman life and leastways Becomin to Nussmades anyow Its werry tru crinuline
sum time ketches fiar, but for Wunce in the way u se were cort by the Wind witch
11if itt ad not Bin hall Up i mene al Downtvith the wearher so no more cryin Down
hoops which now in course we air hall cock a hoop and i remain beleave mee yure
Afectionit umbel Sear vent
SARY JAIN.
P.S. i Think it Wos a good Puff for Crineline.
Belgraveyard Guty 1S134.
TEXTS TRANSPOSED.
My dear Parents,
At the request of my Preceptor I furnish you
with a few specimens of my caligraphy, consisting of moral
sentiments and maxims of my own selection:—
Procrastination is the soul of business.
Punctuality is the thief of Time.
Familiarity doth breed respect.
Virtue is its own punishment.
Vice is its own reward.
Diligence ensures fatigue.
Application is painful. _
Industry commands privation.
Perseverance will fail.
Caution comes t,o grief.
In the pleasing hope that the foregoing evidences of
my improved handwriting, and of my moral and intellectual
progress, may merit and he rewarded with your kind appro-
bation, I remain, my dear Parents,
Your Affectionate Child,
Mentor House Academy. Jim.