Punch (47.1864)

October 22, 1864.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

165

AN EXPERIMENT SUGGESTED EOR THE MEDIUM HUMBUGS.

PLACE THEM IN AN APPARATUS LIKE THE ABOVE, AND KEEP THEM THERE UNTIL THE SPIRITS

RELEASE THEM.

Old Female Medium {a favourite of the Spiritual Magazine). “Oh, dear, Mr.Gammon,
don’t ter wish there was some Sperrits present?’’

THE TICKET-OE-LEAYE QUEEN.

(From the Gazette des Trihunaux.)

“ Queen Christina, after au exile of many
years, has arrived at Madrid.” She will, of
course, be under police surveillance, and will, it
is hoped, do nothing to forfeit her ticket-of-leave.
It wdl be interesting to observe how far the
theory of the regeneration of offenders is vindi-
cated in the case of this personage, but we regret
that the experiment should be tried at the ex-
pense of the Spaniards, who have recently been
making advances in morals, and who must feel
like the Australians upon the subject of “ exiles.”
It is stated, however, that she will soon be re-
moved to the Asturias, though Amiabon, on
the west coast of Africa, is a Spanish possession
that might seem a more desirable reformatory.
The Queen is said to lend a willing ear to the
counsels of her priests, but we are unable to
attach a gratifying significance to this repre-
sentation.

WELL HIT.

The bitterest bit of satire which we have
lately read, concludes a notice, in the Home
News, of a piece recently produced :—

“ The language and allusions are very coarse, the in-
cidents are riotous, aud the acting is extravagant.
Nearly every character is allowed to appear in several
disguises, and the plot is slight and absurdly improbable.
The piece was successful."

Those last four words, taken in connection
with what precedes them, make as good a dig
into the intelligent and fastidious British public
as we desire to see. It is comforting to find,
now and then, a critic who has no reasons of
his own for puffing a theatre. We should have
a better drama if all who write theatrical notices
were as plain spoken as our contemporary.

SOMETHING LIKE ENGLISH.

The possession of the power of speaking and writing the British
language with accuracy is the distinguishing mark of a gentleman.
This is certain. But it is by no means so certain that this power can
be acquired at any of the recognised British schools of learning. We
do not suppose that there is an Eton or Westminster boy who can write
a grammatical note of three pages, and the Archbishop op York has
lately told us that the University men are for the most part awful
dunces. Being constantly applied to for advice as to the placing of
youth, Mr. Punch has been somewhat bothered. But a card which has
just been sent to him from Bonn, induces him to think that the true
well of English undefiled is to be found in that city. If mere shoe-
makers can write in the beautiful maimer exemplified in the following
: document, what wonders of composition must the professors of the
University perform. Until further notice, therefore, Mr Punch thinks
that anyone who wishes his son to write really good English (many
persons get on very well without the accomplishment) had better send
! the youth to Bonn :—

PETER NOSVOTNICK

shoema h er-master

IN

BONN

Bonn-stheet No. 323.

performs all the kinds of footclothings in a good and durable work of
hand and those are also ready to view and to pleasing reception in his
shop of goods ; therefore he begs the respectable public for a favour-
able calling at him.

Punch.’s Telegrams.

Rome, Oct. 18.

Oppiclal confirmation has been given to the statement that the Pope
will refuse to reorganise his army.

His Holiness has announced that, for the preservation of the Tem-
poral Power, he intends to rely wholly on Providence.

The Holy Father has declared his confident expectation that the
French garrison will be replaced by angelic legions.

The Poet op Croquet.—Mallet.

RUSSELL’S RULE OF TWO.

“The Vienna journals publish advices from Athens, stating that Earl Russell
had addressed a note to the Greek Cabinet, declaring that England recognised no
factions in Greece, and condemned anarchical demonstrations. Earl Rwssell
further stated that in case of necessity England would, in conjunction with France
and Russia, take measures for the maintenance of order and the strengthening of
the reigning dynasty.”

The reasons are patent for non-intervention
When Tartar on Pole sets his hoof;

Or, when Pruss to rob Dane shows the barefaced intention.

Our policy still’s “ stand aloof.”

But if Hellas turn restive, with France we will crush a
First effort to break the King’s peace;

W hat’s sauce for such large geese as Russia and Prussia,

Isn’t sauce for small ganders like Greece.

OUB EQUESTRIAN ORDER.

You foreigners who talk so much nonsense about the haughty aris-
tocracy of England, read the following extract from a daily record of
their movements:—

“ The Earl and Countess of Warwick and family, arrived on Saturday at their
house in the Stable-yard, St. James’s, from Bingham Villa, Richmond.”

There’s humility for you! Which of your Saints ever showed a
brighter example of the virtue so named than that of leaving a lordly
Yilla to go and live in a Stable-yard? Eli? Ah, but then, you. will
say that this change of residence was dictated not at all by lowliness,
but proceeded from predilection for the horse; from the sympathy with
that noble animal which characterises the British nobility; so that the
preference of the Stable-yard to the Yilla was merely an indication of
the Stable Mind.

Alexander ab Alexandro.

“ It is stated that a Scotchman, at Greenock, is to have the honour of contributing
a considerable portion of the machinery for the Suez canal works."

A Scotchman, of course. Who should understand the desert but
Sandy ?

A Question por the Church Congress.--Ought not the surplice
of a Rural Dean to be a smock frock ?