DOI issue:
July 30, 1864
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16874#0057
July 30, 1864.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
49
PROSPECTUS OF A NEW THEATRE COMPANY.
ites tor two New
Theatres have been
obtained—one for a
building on a gigan-
tic scale, in the
neighbourhood of
the late Turnpike,
Kensington; and
another for a smaller
theatre, to be de-
voted chiefly to the
Nautical Drama, an
admirable position
for which has been
fixed upon in the vi-
cinity of the Thames
Tunnel. The Tun-
nel itself will be
utilised for dressing-
rooms, green-rooms,
and machinery de-
partment.
A Holder of a
Thousand Shares
will be admitted to
any part of the
House, and will dine
with the Committee
once a fortnight, at
his own expense.
Any Holder of
more than a Thousand Shares, shall participate in the same privileges,
and wear a uniform on Sundays which shall be provided out of the
wardrobe of the Establishment.
Any Holder of Eive Hundred Shares shall be admitted to any part of
the House by means of the ordinary payments ; and any holder of more
than this number shall be entitled to a refreshment ticket, if any.
A Holder of Three Hundred Shares may be permitted to light the
gas (but not to turn it on) on the stage, under the superintendence of
the paid gasman. He shall then be allowed to quit the Building unmo-
lested by the meanest official.
Any person holding One Hundred Shares, shall be permitted to hold
as many more as he likes; and may visit the exterior of the Theatre at
all hours. He shall further be permitted to express his opinion of the
performance freely and unreservedly to any lady or gentleman frequenting
any part of the House; but thqt he shall be liable to be forcibly removed
| on every occasion for interrupting- the performances.
All Holders of Two Thousand Shares and upwards, may exercise
their own judgment in choosing the Dramatic Pieces, and may give the
characters in the same to whatever performers may take their fancy in
any of the numerous London theatres.
To secure respectability, the Machinery will be entirely worked by
Shareholders, three of whom, if respectively possessing One Hundred
Shares, shall have the privilege of pulling up the curtain and calling the
actors.
Holders of Fifty Shares shall be dressed in a becoming livery, and
shall carry on a watering-pot wherewith to lay the dust between the
Acts.
Holders of Twenty-five Shares may do what they like in any depart-
ment unconnected with the Theatre.
The Call-boy’s duties will be to attend to the Shares, and make the
necessary calls.
To ensure harmony among Acting Members of the Company, all
?uarrels between Leading Tragedians, Light Comedians, and Low
lomedians of the first and second class, shall be submitted to the Com-
mittee, who will sit daily in the Treasury from ten till four to adjudicate
upon such matters.
Every Shareholder, considering himself an author, shall be entitled to
have one or more of his own pieces produced during the Season; and
shall have an undisputed right to the entire stage management.
The Prompter shall be elected by a majority of votes.
The Theatre shall be thoroughly ventilated on entirely new principles,
as yet undiscovered.
During the Summer months the Private Boxes shall be iced; and in
the Winter Season shall be warmed by patent stoves.
The proposed Theatre has the advantage of being close to all the
Railway Stations, Cabstands, and Steamboat Piers. Dining Rooms,
Supper and Breakfast Rooms, and Apartments for Eamilies, will be
attached to the Building. Eurther particulars will be duly announced.
Appointment.—Mr. Banting to be Adviser to the Corporation of
the Sons of the Clergy.
CROQUET.
PLAYERS.
Rid . . . Mr. Robinson. I Blue . . . Miss Smith.
Green . . . Mr. Jones. I Yellow. . . . Miss Brown.
XV.
One mallet’s length from what at first we call
The Starting Post, the player puts his ball,
Here o’er the red our Rdbinson, with calm
Determination, lifts his dexter arm.
Whose hand, which even Sayers’ self might shun,
Grasps the firm mallet gleaming in the Sun.
Not otherwise did Arthur lift on high
The bright Excalibur and foes defy.
“ Now then, look out! ” Red’s war-cry; and with care
,. The weapon slowly cuts the fragrant air,
The list’ners hear the dullest tap proclaim
The first blow given in th’ exciting game.
Here Robinson’s right hand its cunning shows,
Through the first Hoop the ball obedient goes,
And rolling onward seeks with gentlest pace
’Twixt first and second Hoop a middle place,
Whence its skilled master with no waste of force
Can the next ’vantage gain upon his course.
The Two Hoops won, the Red must now go through
The Third, that’s parallel with number two ;
But from it distant twenty feet, and so
Back at a sharpish angle yon must go.
Now herein lies the art of arts, to send
Yourself to such a place as not to lend
The smallest aid to your opponent, yet
Where you ’ll from your ally assistance get.
Well, Robinson this crafty method knows,
And will essay; but he cannot “ dispose.”
A buzzing fly or some malicious elf
Taking that form, or Beelzebub himself,
The very king of flies, comes up to worry him,
And when he should be slow and sure to hurry him.
The Blue and Green do much enjoy the joke,
Brunette is angry : Red is “ off his stroke.”
Dame Fortune suddenly her wheel reverses,
And his ill luck Red, sotto voce, curses.
The fickle jade who’s backed him, now has tricked him,
He hits to where he ’ll fall an easy victim.
His turn is over; for this rule’s obeyed,
By none may two successive strokes be played.
Save one of these three following things you’ve done —
Have Roqued, Croqued, or a Hoop just won.
The meaning of these terms I ’ll soon explain,
At present Robinson can’t play again.
XVI.
Now Jones commences, and both Hoops he makes,
Then steady aim he from the second takes
At Red, and if he hits him, ’twill be seen
What we by “ Roquetting a person” mean.
Huzza! ’tis done! Miss Smith the deed applauds
As partisans cry out “ well hit ” at Lord’s.
Napoleon-like, with folded arms and frown.
Stands Red. “ Oh dear ! ” sighs heavily Miss Brown.
Intent upon the game, without a word,
Jones puts the Green in front of Hoop the third.
Touching the Red, and thus the foes have met.
On Green is Jones’s foot securely set.
When Greek meets Greek, we ’re told and not before,
That awful moment comes the tug of war;
To Croquet Red, is Jones’s present end,
That is by striking Green the Red to send
U p to the limits of the Croquet plane,
Whence he ’ll lose time in coming back again
To his original position ; now
To “ Croquet anyone ” I’ve told you how.
Jones struck the Green, and thwack! the Green struck Red,
Who from his stronger foeman shudd’ring fled.
Honour the brave ! he cannot choose but yield,
And leave the Green possessor of the field.
Deem not, careering Jones, that you have won
The game till all you’ve got to do is done ;
Nor be faint-hearted, oh ye other two,
Till he has done all that he’s got to do.
Never should one despairing side cry Actum
Est de, etcetra, till the other’s whacked ’em.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
49
PROSPECTUS OF A NEW THEATRE COMPANY.
ites tor two New
Theatres have been
obtained—one for a
building on a gigan-
tic scale, in the
neighbourhood of
the late Turnpike,
Kensington; and
another for a smaller
theatre, to be de-
voted chiefly to the
Nautical Drama, an
admirable position
for which has been
fixed upon in the vi-
cinity of the Thames
Tunnel. The Tun-
nel itself will be
utilised for dressing-
rooms, green-rooms,
and machinery de-
partment.
A Holder of a
Thousand Shares
will be admitted to
any part of the
House, and will dine
with the Committee
once a fortnight, at
his own expense.
Any Holder of
more than a Thousand Shares, shall participate in the same privileges,
and wear a uniform on Sundays which shall be provided out of the
wardrobe of the Establishment.
Any Holder of Eive Hundred Shares shall be admitted to any part of
the House by means of the ordinary payments ; and any holder of more
than this number shall be entitled to a refreshment ticket, if any.
A Holder of Three Hundred Shares may be permitted to light the
gas (but not to turn it on) on the stage, under the superintendence of
the paid gasman. He shall then be allowed to quit the Building unmo-
lested by the meanest official.
Any person holding One Hundred Shares, shall be permitted to hold
as many more as he likes; and may visit the exterior of the Theatre at
all hours. He shall further be permitted to express his opinion of the
performance freely and unreservedly to any lady or gentleman frequenting
any part of the House; but thqt he shall be liable to be forcibly removed
| on every occasion for interrupting- the performances.
All Holders of Two Thousand Shares and upwards, may exercise
their own judgment in choosing the Dramatic Pieces, and may give the
characters in the same to whatever performers may take their fancy in
any of the numerous London theatres.
To secure respectability, the Machinery will be entirely worked by
Shareholders, three of whom, if respectively possessing One Hundred
Shares, shall have the privilege of pulling up the curtain and calling the
actors.
Holders of Fifty Shares shall be dressed in a becoming livery, and
shall carry on a watering-pot wherewith to lay the dust between the
Acts.
Holders of Twenty-five Shares may do what they like in any depart-
ment unconnected with the Theatre.
The Call-boy’s duties will be to attend to the Shares, and make the
necessary calls.
To ensure harmony among Acting Members of the Company, all
?uarrels between Leading Tragedians, Light Comedians, and Low
lomedians of the first and second class, shall be submitted to the Com-
mittee, who will sit daily in the Treasury from ten till four to adjudicate
upon such matters.
Every Shareholder, considering himself an author, shall be entitled to
have one or more of his own pieces produced during the Season; and
shall have an undisputed right to the entire stage management.
The Prompter shall be elected by a majority of votes.
The Theatre shall be thoroughly ventilated on entirely new principles,
as yet undiscovered.
During the Summer months the Private Boxes shall be iced; and in
the Winter Season shall be warmed by patent stoves.
The proposed Theatre has the advantage of being close to all the
Railway Stations, Cabstands, and Steamboat Piers. Dining Rooms,
Supper and Breakfast Rooms, and Apartments for Eamilies, will be
attached to the Building. Eurther particulars will be duly announced.
Appointment.—Mr. Banting to be Adviser to the Corporation of
the Sons of the Clergy.
CROQUET.
PLAYERS.
Rid . . . Mr. Robinson. I Blue . . . Miss Smith.
Green . . . Mr. Jones. I Yellow. . . . Miss Brown.
XV.
One mallet’s length from what at first we call
The Starting Post, the player puts his ball,
Here o’er the red our Rdbinson, with calm
Determination, lifts his dexter arm.
Whose hand, which even Sayers’ self might shun,
Grasps the firm mallet gleaming in the Sun.
Not otherwise did Arthur lift on high
The bright Excalibur and foes defy.
“ Now then, look out! ” Red’s war-cry; and with care
,. The weapon slowly cuts the fragrant air,
The list’ners hear the dullest tap proclaim
The first blow given in th’ exciting game.
Here Robinson’s right hand its cunning shows,
Through the first Hoop the ball obedient goes,
And rolling onward seeks with gentlest pace
’Twixt first and second Hoop a middle place,
Whence its skilled master with no waste of force
Can the next ’vantage gain upon his course.
The Two Hoops won, the Red must now go through
The Third, that’s parallel with number two ;
But from it distant twenty feet, and so
Back at a sharpish angle yon must go.
Now herein lies the art of arts, to send
Yourself to such a place as not to lend
The smallest aid to your opponent, yet
Where you ’ll from your ally assistance get.
Well, Robinson this crafty method knows,
And will essay; but he cannot “ dispose.”
A buzzing fly or some malicious elf
Taking that form, or Beelzebub himself,
The very king of flies, comes up to worry him,
And when he should be slow and sure to hurry him.
The Blue and Green do much enjoy the joke,
Brunette is angry : Red is “ off his stroke.”
Dame Fortune suddenly her wheel reverses,
And his ill luck Red, sotto voce, curses.
The fickle jade who’s backed him, now has tricked him,
He hits to where he ’ll fall an easy victim.
His turn is over; for this rule’s obeyed,
By none may two successive strokes be played.
Save one of these three following things you’ve done —
Have Roqued, Croqued, or a Hoop just won.
The meaning of these terms I ’ll soon explain,
At present Robinson can’t play again.
XVI.
Now Jones commences, and both Hoops he makes,
Then steady aim he from the second takes
At Red, and if he hits him, ’twill be seen
What we by “ Roquetting a person” mean.
Huzza! ’tis done! Miss Smith the deed applauds
As partisans cry out “ well hit ” at Lord’s.
Napoleon-like, with folded arms and frown.
Stands Red. “ Oh dear ! ” sighs heavily Miss Brown.
Intent upon the game, without a word,
Jones puts the Green in front of Hoop the third.
Touching the Red, and thus the foes have met.
On Green is Jones’s foot securely set.
When Greek meets Greek, we ’re told and not before,
That awful moment comes the tug of war;
To Croquet Red, is Jones’s present end,
That is by striking Green the Red to send
U p to the limits of the Croquet plane,
Whence he ’ll lose time in coming back again
To his original position ; now
To “ Croquet anyone ” I’ve told you how.
Jones struck the Green, and thwack! the Green struck Red,
Who from his stronger foeman shudd’ring fled.
Honour the brave ! he cannot choose but yield,
And leave the Green possessor of the field.
Deem not, careering Jones, that you have won
The game till all you’ve got to do is done ;
Nor be faint-hearted, oh ye other two,
Till he has done all that he’s got to do.
Never should one despairing side cry Actum
Est de, etcetra, till the other’s whacked ’em.