DOI issue:
August 27, 1864
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16874#0092
84
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 27, 1864.
A LITTLE FAMILY BREEZE.
Mrs. T. “What a Wretch you must be, T.; why don’t you take me off? Don’t you see I’m overtook with the Tide, and
I shall be Drownded ! ”
T. “ Well, then—will you promise not to Kick up such a Row when I stop out Late of a Saturday ? ”
PREMATURE SMOKING.
Like many other profound thinkers, Mr. Punch is fond of smoking,
and he naturally entertains a sympathy for smokers. To have his
sympathy, however, smokers must smoke sensibly, and not commit
excesses. Mr. Punch likes moderate drinking, but he hates to see men
drunk; and he regards immoderate smokers as only a shade less to be
despised by him than drunkards.
Smoking prematurely is, to Mr. Punch's thinking, the worst form of
excess, and the one which moves in him most hatred and disgust.
Smoking prematurely is a selfish snobbish practice, and it is matter for
regret that there are not more means to stop it. Clearly it is nonsense
to pretend that boys can really have a need or liking for tobacco, or be a
whit the better or the happier for using it. Boys who-prematurely smoke
do so not because they like it, but because they think it manly to be
seen able to smoke. Such smokers are, in fact, mean silly little snobs,
and all right-minded people justly hold them in contempt. Nature
does her best to act as their tobacco-stopper; but by practice they
acquire the power to smoke without being made sick by it, and, this
done, they delude themselves by fancying that tobacco has become a
vital need to them, and when they smoke they try to think they really
relish it. This however is sheer nonsense, for the true taste for tobacco
comes alone with age, like the appetite for turtle, and is not to be
acquired by those who prematurely seek it.
Moreover, boys who take to smoking have not the sense to put due
bounds on their indulgence, and they are apt to smoke at times when
it does them the most injury, and is to others the worst nuisance.
Unable to control themselves, they smoke in business hours and in
going to their business; and when going out to dinner they take a
furtive pipe, and even come into a drawing-room with coats that stink
of stale tobacco: Now, tobacco is a good thing, and good things
ought not to be wasted. Smoking prematurely is a worse than waste,
for it annoys people about him ana only harms the smoker. One cannot
well doubt this, if one but sees the pimply cheeks and tallowy complexions
of the young short-pipe-sucking fools who meet us everywhere.
Every whiff they take but helps to blow their brains out, and puts out
of tune their organs of digestion. Eew men can smoke early in
the day without its hurting them, and any boy who does so must
assuredly be weakened both in body and in mind by it. A boy (which
word applies to all youths under twenty) who goes to business daily
with a pipe between his teeth has put an enemy into his mouth
that will steal away his brains, and it is well that his employer should
be warned against the robbery. Smoking prematurely is a habit as
injurious as taking early morning drams, or drinking port wine before
dinner; and as the evil has increased to really serious dimensions,
Mr. Punch may be excused for making serious remarks, and not making
a joke of it. _
CHE MIN DE EER ET DE L’ENEER.
The Northern Spanish Railway has been opened, and inaugurated by
the personage who is denominated King op Spain. Np end of priests
attended, to bless the engines. The boilers are to contain nothing but
holy water. A first-class carriage has been fitted up as a confessional,
in case of accidents. The line is to be managed only by Spiritual
Directors. The time-table is headed Hora pro nobis. The first bushel
of coals was doubly consecrated, being some that remained over from
the last auto da fe. Nothing can be more orthodox than the whole
affair. And yet—and yet. One end of the line is in devout Madrid,
but where is the other ? Alas, in Voltairean Paris. Which way will
flow the stronger current of thought ? We fear that the Priests should
have kept up the Pyrenees. There are none now, but revolutions are
repeated, and we may five to see the Mountain in Madrid.
American Mining News.—Grant’s new Mine has been opened.
Nevertheless, gold is still at 259f.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 27, 1864.
A LITTLE FAMILY BREEZE.
Mrs. T. “What a Wretch you must be, T.; why don’t you take me off? Don’t you see I’m overtook with the Tide, and
I shall be Drownded ! ”
T. “ Well, then—will you promise not to Kick up such a Row when I stop out Late of a Saturday ? ”
PREMATURE SMOKING.
Like many other profound thinkers, Mr. Punch is fond of smoking,
and he naturally entertains a sympathy for smokers. To have his
sympathy, however, smokers must smoke sensibly, and not commit
excesses. Mr. Punch likes moderate drinking, but he hates to see men
drunk; and he regards immoderate smokers as only a shade less to be
despised by him than drunkards.
Smoking prematurely is, to Mr. Punch's thinking, the worst form of
excess, and the one which moves in him most hatred and disgust.
Smoking prematurely is a selfish snobbish practice, and it is matter for
regret that there are not more means to stop it. Clearly it is nonsense
to pretend that boys can really have a need or liking for tobacco, or be a
whit the better or the happier for using it. Boys who-prematurely smoke
do so not because they like it, but because they think it manly to be
seen able to smoke. Such smokers are, in fact, mean silly little snobs,
and all right-minded people justly hold them in contempt. Nature
does her best to act as their tobacco-stopper; but by practice they
acquire the power to smoke without being made sick by it, and, this
done, they delude themselves by fancying that tobacco has become a
vital need to them, and when they smoke they try to think they really
relish it. This however is sheer nonsense, for the true taste for tobacco
comes alone with age, like the appetite for turtle, and is not to be
acquired by those who prematurely seek it.
Moreover, boys who take to smoking have not the sense to put due
bounds on their indulgence, and they are apt to smoke at times when
it does them the most injury, and is to others the worst nuisance.
Unable to control themselves, they smoke in business hours and in
going to their business; and when going out to dinner they take a
furtive pipe, and even come into a drawing-room with coats that stink
of stale tobacco: Now, tobacco is a good thing, and good things
ought not to be wasted. Smoking prematurely is a worse than waste,
for it annoys people about him ana only harms the smoker. One cannot
well doubt this, if one but sees the pimply cheeks and tallowy complexions
of the young short-pipe-sucking fools who meet us everywhere.
Every whiff they take but helps to blow their brains out, and puts out
of tune their organs of digestion. Eew men can smoke early in
the day without its hurting them, and any boy who does so must
assuredly be weakened both in body and in mind by it. A boy (which
word applies to all youths under twenty) who goes to business daily
with a pipe between his teeth has put an enemy into his mouth
that will steal away his brains, and it is well that his employer should
be warned against the robbery. Smoking prematurely is a habit as
injurious as taking early morning drams, or drinking port wine before
dinner; and as the evil has increased to really serious dimensions,
Mr. Punch may be excused for making serious remarks, and not making
a joke of it. _
CHE MIN DE EER ET DE L’ENEER.
The Northern Spanish Railway has been opened, and inaugurated by
the personage who is denominated King op Spain. Np end of priests
attended, to bless the engines. The boilers are to contain nothing but
holy water. A first-class carriage has been fitted up as a confessional,
in case of accidents. The line is to be managed only by Spiritual
Directors. The time-table is headed Hora pro nobis. The first bushel
of coals was doubly consecrated, being some that remained over from
the last auto da fe. Nothing can be more orthodox than the whole
affair. And yet—and yet. One end of the line is in devout Madrid,
but where is the other ? Alas, in Voltairean Paris. Which way will
flow the stronger current of thought ? We fear that the Priests should
have kept up the Pyrenees. There are none now, but revolutions are
repeated, and we may five to see the Mountain in Madrid.
American Mining News.—Grant’s new Mine has been opened.
Nevertheless, gold is still at 259f.