DOI Heft:
September 17, 1864
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16874#0127
120
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[September 17, 1864.
LUSUS NATUR/E.
Excursion Tourist. “ Most Extr’or’nary cre’char i ”
Facetious Rustic. “ Ah ! that a be, Measteb, bred on this ’ere wery Fa-arm he
IVOR, TEW ! ”
THE CONSERVATIVE'S PROGRESS.
A SONG INSTEAD OP A SPEECH.
(For After Dimer.)
More years than I will own ago,
With Eldon in his glory.
Of change I was the mortal foe.
An out-and-out old Tory.
We lost, through statesmen heeding facts
Apparent to the senses.
The Test and Corporation Acts;
There went our first defences.
The barriers, thus, of Church and State,
Removed, the foe might enter:
Still he would be, at any rate,
A Protestant Dissenter.
But then we had, unfaithful Chief,
To gulp our indignation
At Roman Catholic Relief:
Oh, that Emancipation!
One more post gone I had to own;
But Act, once passed, is valid :
We, round the Altar and the Throne,
Closed in again, and rallied.
When soon a democratic storm
Did vehemently stir us.
And Parliamentary Reform
Abolished rotten boroughs.
So I, for an accomplished fact.
Accepted revolution;
Yet, aiming still to save intact
Our glorious Constitution,
In hopes I might illname outlive.
Instinct with spirit vital.
New named myself Conservative,
And lost my party title.
AFTER-DINNER PAPERS.
(On Various Subjects.)
My Dear Misser Punch,—Circonsters overwhicli—no control—prevented my father
whom you pointed your Scitific Crospondent from writing you a long count of the weatherof
Last Month. He forgotit till last moment afer dinner ana being toofattgj|jf tired to write
himself we had a third bottle of twenty-can’t gettit nowdays—and he dep-p-puted me to write
from his diction I mean dictation. Here it is.
I am Yr Sisterly—no Sincerely, Thomas Buzz, Junior.
Review of Weather for July.
During the past month, there was a restless wind that blew down its own smoke, and took
off the edge of the meridian with its own plane.
In the morning, attenuated nimbi dwindled into a luminous canopy, whose height was 6000
feet above the sea-level.
Cumuli and cirrhi gave themselves up to the full development of ozone; while Summer
Meteoric Phosphorescent Trains met the Radiating Steamers within five minutes of each
other.
Thermometer in the Sun at 4 30 p.m. (How it got there, no one knows.—B., Junr.)
At midnight, on the 17th, the Rev. E. C. Robarts of Erant, shot with considerable
velocity across Ursa Major, and disappeared after traversing an approximated space.
(Guv’nor got this out of the Times, think.—Buzz, Junr.)
On the following morning the wind returned to France, and, in a test slip, fell between a
wet and a dry bath, showing some external signs of discoloration.
It will be seen by reference to the table. (At this point I made a reference to the table.
My respected parent had disappeared. Yrs., &c., B. Junr.)
Startling Cruelty.
A Well-known Upholsterer, whose name shall not be held up to universal execration,
because this course could not be adopted without puffery, undertook the contract for keeping
well furnished, repairing and re-decorating the Ophthalmic Hospital. We accidentally caught
sight^of the bill for the current year. One of the largest items recurring over and over again
was “ Rods for the Blind.” Shall the unfortunate and helpless be flogged for their misfor-
tunes under our very noses, under our very eye-lashes ? Shame ! Shame !
THE RIGHT STEP.
The Bishop oe Limoges has been publishing a Pastoral. The publication could not be
better timed, for if our ancient knowledge of Quadrilles be correct. La Pastorale comes
directly after I’Ete.
To keep all things just as they were
1 ceased not my endeavour;
Some things which it had been my care
To keep from being ever.
Municipal Reform to stay
We wasted machinations;
Those landmarks, too, were swept away;
Our ancient Corporations.
Gone goose is gone goose; ’tis absurd
To mind what can’t be mended.
As Peel advised, I registered,
And on the watch attended.
But our inconstant Chief once more
Imposed on our affection;
For all the British Lion’s roar,
Free Trade displaced Protection.
Divorce, to rich ones unconfined.
For injured partners married,
I strove against, but grew resigned
To it when it was carried.
Law of the land ’tis now at last,
And I’m the law’s defender.
Nailing my colours to the mast,
My motto, “No Surrender! ”
I steadily refused consent
To give up that condition
That kept Jews out of Parliament;
Until they got admission.
The wound that made soon cicatrised,
’Twas not of serious nature,
I stuck to the unchristianised.
Still British, Legislature.
Now Note by Ballot I ’ll withstand
Henceforth, until it passes.
And hold as long, with steady hand,
The Suffrage from the Masses,
Conservative of all that’s past;
Consistent as a martyr :
Dear me ! I hope T mayn’t, at last.
Have to conserve the “ Charter! ”
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[September 17, 1864.
LUSUS NATUR/E.
Excursion Tourist. “ Most Extr’or’nary cre’char i ”
Facetious Rustic. “ Ah ! that a be, Measteb, bred on this ’ere wery Fa-arm he
IVOR, TEW ! ”
THE CONSERVATIVE'S PROGRESS.
A SONG INSTEAD OP A SPEECH.
(For After Dimer.)
More years than I will own ago,
With Eldon in his glory.
Of change I was the mortal foe.
An out-and-out old Tory.
We lost, through statesmen heeding facts
Apparent to the senses.
The Test and Corporation Acts;
There went our first defences.
The barriers, thus, of Church and State,
Removed, the foe might enter:
Still he would be, at any rate,
A Protestant Dissenter.
But then we had, unfaithful Chief,
To gulp our indignation
At Roman Catholic Relief:
Oh, that Emancipation!
One more post gone I had to own;
But Act, once passed, is valid :
We, round the Altar and the Throne,
Closed in again, and rallied.
When soon a democratic storm
Did vehemently stir us.
And Parliamentary Reform
Abolished rotten boroughs.
So I, for an accomplished fact.
Accepted revolution;
Yet, aiming still to save intact
Our glorious Constitution,
In hopes I might illname outlive.
Instinct with spirit vital.
New named myself Conservative,
And lost my party title.
AFTER-DINNER PAPERS.
(On Various Subjects.)
My Dear Misser Punch,—Circonsters overwhicli—no control—prevented my father
whom you pointed your Scitific Crospondent from writing you a long count of the weatherof
Last Month. He forgotit till last moment afer dinner ana being toofattgj|jf tired to write
himself we had a third bottle of twenty-can’t gettit nowdays—and he dep-p-puted me to write
from his diction I mean dictation. Here it is.
I am Yr Sisterly—no Sincerely, Thomas Buzz, Junior.
Review of Weather for July.
During the past month, there was a restless wind that blew down its own smoke, and took
off the edge of the meridian with its own plane.
In the morning, attenuated nimbi dwindled into a luminous canopy, whose height was 6000
feet above the sea-level.
Cumuli and cirrhi gave themselves up to the full development of ozone; while Summer
Meteoric Phosphorescent Trains met the Radiating Steamers within five minutes of each
other.
Thermometer in the Sun at 4 30 p.m. (How it got there, no one knows.—B., Junr.)
At midnight, on the 17th, the Rev. E. C. Robarts of Erant, shot with considerable
velocity across Ursa Major, and disappeared after traversing an approximated space.
(Guv’nor got this out of the Times, think.—Buzz, Junr.)
On the following morning the wind returned to France, and, in a test slip, fell between a
wet and a dry bath, showing some external signs of discoloration.
It will be seen by reference to the table. (At this point I made a reference to the table.
My respected parent had disappeared. Yrs., &c., B. Junr.)
Startling Cruelty.
A Well-known Upholsterer, whose name shall not be held up to universal execration,
because this course could not be adopted without puffery, undertook the contract for keeping
well furnished, repairing and re-decorating the Ophthalmic Hospital. We accidentally caught
sight^of the bill for the current year. One of the largest items recurring over and over again
was “ Rods for the Blind.” Shall the unfortunate and helpless be flogged for their misfor-
tunes under our very noses, under our very eye-lashes ? Shame ! Shame !
THE RIGHT STEP.
The Bishop oe Limoges has been publishing a Pastoral. The publication could not be
better timed, for if our ancient knowledge of Quadrilles be correct. La Pastorale comes
directly after I’Ete.
To keep all things just as they were
1 ceased not my endeavour;
Some things which it had been my care
To keep from being ever.
Municipal Reform to stay
We wasted machinations;
Those landmarks, too, were swept away;
Our ancient Corporations.
Gone goose is gone goose; ’tis absurd
To mind what can’t be mended.
As Peel advised, I registered,
And on the watch attended.
But our inconstant Chief once more
Imposed on our affection;
For all the British Lion’s roar,
Free Trade displaced Protection.
Divorce, to rich ones unconfined.
For injured partners married,
I strove against, but grew resigned
To it when it was carried.
Law of the land ’tis now at last,
And I’m the law’s defender.
Nailing my colours to the mast,
My motto, “No Surrender! ”
I steadily refused consent
To give up that condition
That kept Jews out of Parliament;
Until they got admission.
The wound that made soon cicatrised,
’Twas not of serious nature,
I stuck to the unchristianised.
Still British, Legislature.
Now Note by Ballot I ’ll withstand
Henceforth, until it passes.
And hold as long, with steady hand,
The Suffrage from the Masses,
Conservative of all that’s past;
Consistent as a martyr :
Dear me ! I hope T mayn’t, at last.
Have to conserve the “ Charter! ”