DOI issue:
October 1, 1864
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16874#0149
142 PUNCH OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. |October l, 1864.
Newspaper Boy (Confidentially to little Captain Podgers on his Wedding Tour). “ Banting on Corpilence, Sir ? ”
A CLUMSY CLOWN.
It would be a public wrong were this advertisement restricted to the
Ipswich Journal in which Mr. Punch finds it:—
MATRIMONY.
\ Steady, respectable, invalided Young Gentleman, between 24 and 32
years of age, whose physician advises him to marry, he having a little income,
but not sufficient to keep himself and a wife too in the style ho is now living, is
desirous of meeting with a Lady with a little further income, who he may make his
wife. She must be of a kind and cheerful disposition. Age and beauty no object.
Apply, stating age and particulars, L.S.D., Post Office, Ipswich.
Many questions arise to the mind of a cynical and cold-hearted reader
of the above, but it offers such attractions to young ladies who wish to
be married (which means, we hope, all young ladies who are single)
that answers must have poured in by scores, and criticism is useless.
Yet why does the interesting invalid describe himself “as between 24
and 32.” This is very precise, and yet there is no precision. Doesn’t
he know how old he is f Why does he say that the age of the lady is
no object, and in the next sentence desire her to. state it F Did his
doctor desire him to write the atrocious English about “the style he is
now living,” and is the medical man guilty of the passage “ who he may
make his wife?” And was it the doctor’s impudence or the patient’s
that prompted an invitation to a “kind and cheerful” girl to link
herself for life to a selfish ignorant fellow who wants an unpaid nurse
with money. Mr. Punch laughs at many oddities of advertisement, but
there be some which excite his wrath. This would be one, but that he
feels that justice will be done on a patient in the hands of the sort of
doctor who could “ advise ” this attempt against woman.
Ecclesiastical.
Dr. Manning, Roman Catholic Provost of Westminster, lately
preached, we hear, a most touching sermon. Most of his male auditors
serein tears. It was remarked at the time, that “ this was not like
Dr. Manning’s usual style; that it was, in fact, Un-manning.”
Passage prom the Diary op a Late Physician.—“ The fellow
got well before I came.”
A PLACE FOR A PERFECT CURE.
Most of the London Hospitals are named after Saints. There are
St. Bartholomew’s, St. Thomas’s, St. George’s—not to mention St.
Luke’s. To these may be added All Saints’, which, though situated at
Eastbourne, is connected with Margaret Street.
Hospitals are institutions peculiarly Christian. To be sure, they
were invented before the Reformation. But Hospitals are not among
the errors of Popery. . Neither is All Saints’ an error of Popery without
the Pope. There is no mistake, Popish or Protestant, about Hospitals.
The speciality of this All Saints’ Hospital is, that it is a Convalescent
Hospital. For such an institution many a London Hospital Surgeon
has cried and wrung his hands. It is, in many of the most “ interesting
cases,” the one thing needful to effect—banish the idea of any allusion
to an odious idiotic comic song—a Perfect Cure.
There can be no doubt that money contributed to Hospitals will be
found a good investment after railway debentures, and the Three per
cent Consols, and even freehold property with a registered title, will
have ceased to be securities. Anybody, therefore, who has money to
spare, should, instead of fooling it away in the funds, or on land, bestow
it on Hospitals, and such like charitable institutions, and would do well
to send a good lot of it to All Saints’ Plospital.
New Idea in Ethnology.
According to a distinguished explorer of Africa, the Makololos
justify cattle-stealing by the argument that those who cannot keep their
cattle have no right to have them. This is exactly Rob Roy’s logic,
and suggests an affinity between the Makololos and M‘Gregors. What
is the orthography of the former clan’s name? Should it not be spelt
M'Cullolo? That would be very like M'Culloch. . Radically they
must be the same names. The supposition of an original connection
between the Land of Cakes and the Land of Negroes is corroborated
by the fact that Scotland, as well as Africa, abounds in Blackies.
Notice.—The Gentleman who, the other day, ran away from home,
without stopping to take his breath, is requested to fetch it as quickly
as possible.
Newspaper Boy (Confidentially to little Captain Podgers on his Wedding Tour). “ Banting on Corpilence, Sir ? ”
A CLUMSY CLOWN.
It would be a public wrong were this advertisement restricted to the
Ipswich Journal in which Mr. Punch finds it:—
MATRIMONY.
\ Steady, respectable, invalided Young Gentleman, between 24 and 32
years of age, whose physician advises him to marry, he having a little income,
but not sufficient to keep himself and a wife too in the style ho is now living, is
desirous of meeting with a Lady with a little further income, who he may make his
wife. She must be of a kind and cheerful disposition. Age and beauty no object.
Apply, stating age and particulars, L.S.D., Post Office, Ipswich.
Many questions arise to the mind of a cynical and cold-hearted reader
of the above, but it offers such attractions to young ladies who wish to
be married (which means, we hope, all young ladies who are single)
that answers must have poured in by scores, and criticism is useless.
Yet why does the interesting invalid describe himself “as between 24
and 32.” This is very precise, and yet there is no precision. Doesn’t
he know how old he is f Why does he say that the age of the lady is
no object, and in the next sentence desire her to. state it F Did his
doctor desire him to write the atrocious English about “the style he is
now living,” and is the medical man guilty of the passage “ who he may
make his wife?” And was it the doctor’s impudence or the patient’s
that prompted an invitation to a “kind and cheerful” girl to link
herself for life to a selfish ignorant fellow who wants an unpaid nurse
with money. Mr. Punch laughs at many oddities of advertisement, but
there be some which excite his wrath. This would be one, but that he
feels that justice will be done on a patient in the hands of the sort of
doctor who could “ advise ” this attempt against woman.
Ecclesiastical.
Dr. Manning, Roman Catholic Provost of Westminster, lately
preached, we hear, a most touching sermon. Most of his male auditors
serein tears. It was remarked at the time, that “ this was not like
Dr. Manning’s usual style; that it was, in fact, Un-manning.”
Passage prom the Diary op a Late Physician.—“ The fellow
got well before I came.”
A PLACE FOR A PERFECT CURE.
Most of the London Hospitals are named after Saints. There are
St. Bartholomew’s, St. Thomas’s, St. George’s—not to mention St.
Luke’s. To these may be added All Saints’, which, though situated at
Eastbourne, is connected with Margaret Street.
Hospitals are institutions peculiarly Christian. To be sure, they
were invented before the Reformation. But Hospitals are not among
the errors of Popery. . Neither is All Saints’ an error of Popery without
the Pope. There is no mistake, Popish or Protestant, about Hospitals.
The speciality of this All Saints’ Hospital is, that it is a Convalescent
Hospital. For such an institution many a London Hospital Surgeon
has cried and wrung his hands. It is, in many of the most “ interesting
cases,” the one thing needful to effect—banish the idea of any allusion
to an odious idiotic comic song—a Perfect Cure.
There can be no doubt that money contributed to Hospitals will be
found a good investment after railway debentures, and the Three per
cent Consols, and even freehold property with a registered title, will
have ceased to be securities. Anybody, therefore, who has money to
spare, should, instead of fooling it away in the funds, or on land, bestow
it on Hospitals, and such like charitable institutions, and would do well
to send a good lot of it to All Saints’ Plospital.
New Idea in Ethnology.
According to a distinguished explorer of Africa, the Makololos
justify cattle-stealing by the argument that those who cannot keep their
cattle have no right to have them. This is exactly Rob Roy’s logic,
and suggests an affinity between the Makololos and M‘Gregors. What
is the orthography of the former clan’s name? Should it not be spelt
M'Cullolo? That would be very like M'Culloch. . Radically they
must be the same names. The supposition of an original connection
between the Land of Cakes and the Land of Negroes is corroborated
by the fact that Scotland, as well as Africa, abounds in Blackies.
Notice.—The Gentleman who, the other day, ran away from home,
without stopping to take his breath, is requested to fetch it as quickly
as possible.