DOI Heft:
December 24, 1864
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16874#0270
264
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 24, 1864,
Poor Spriggles (who is an Energetic Dancer) has met with a sad Mishap. In pact, he has burst bis Bkaces.
[General Commiseration misapplied, andunavailing.
THE WONDERS OF MODERN TRAVEL.
THE JOURNEY—(Concluded).
Wonder if that’s my portmanteau that that elderly gentleman is
taking away with him.
Wonder if they’ll send to meet me at the station.
Wonder (if they don’t send) whether there’s a fly or an omnibus.
Wonder where their house is.
Wonder if the station-master knows where their house is.
Wonder what a fly will charge.
Wonder what 1 shall do if they don’t send, and there isn’t a fly or
an omnibus.
Wonder what time they dine.
Wonder if I shall have time to write a letter before dinner.
Wonder, for the sixth time, whether I gave my writing-case to the
guard, or left it in the cab.
Wonder if I did leave it in the cab.
Wonder if this is where I get out.
SMALL STATION,
Wonder if the guard is right in saying that as, I’m going to Redditon,
it doesn’t matter whether 1 get out at the next station Stonnhurst, or
Morley Vale, the next but one.
Wonder for which place my luggage was labelled.
Wonder whether after getting out at Stonnhurst I shall have to go
back for my luggage to Morley Vale.
Wonder if I do right in deciding upon getting out at Stonnhurst.
STONNHURST.
Wonder if my luggage has gone on to Morley Vale.
Wonder if I left my umbrella in the carriage, or forgot to bring it.
Wonder how far it is from Stonnhurst to Morley Vale.
Wonder if they’ve sent a trap to meet me at Morley Vale.
Wonder why, when people invite one to come down to some out-of-
the-way place, they don’t tell one all these difficulties in their letter.
Wonder if they’ll have sense enough to drive to Stonnhurst from
Morley Vale.
Wonder if I shall meet them on the road, if I walk there.
Wonder which is the road.
Wonder, in answer to demand at the station-door where I put my
ticket.
Wonder if I dropped it in the carriage.
Wonder what I can have done with it.
Wronder if I put it into the side pocket of my over-coat when I took
out my lights.
Wonder where the deuce my over-coat is.
SHYLOCK AND SOAPSUDS.
.
In a recent police case, a matron of the washerwomanish persuasion
was charged with passing a bad half-crown in payment to a small trades-
man of the nation absurdly called the Jewish persuasion. She did not
seem to disclaim knowledge that the coin was not from the Queen’s
Mint, but defended herself by alleging that the complainant had a bit of j
lead under the scale in which he put the article sold. It was Sheridan
over again—the coachman said, “ A bad shilling, your Honour! ”—•“ All
right; yours is a bad coach.” The tradesman gave false weight, the
customer gave false money. Was this a case for legal interference, or j
was it not an instance of the healthy way in which commerce adjusts
itself, if only let alone? The plaint was dismissed on low grounds, as
usual, but the Magistrate might have appealed to the laws of high politi-
cal economy. We rather admire that washerwoman, but should not
care to entrust her with our best shirt.
Unpublished Anecdote.
Foote fell asleep while Opie was taking his portrait. ( On leaving,
the painter pressed the wit to give him another sitting. “ On one con-
dition,” said Foote, “ that you do not give me another opiate.
“ Doing Banting.”—Pocketing half a dozen of his pamphlets, and
not stopping to pay for them.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 24, 1864,
Poor Spriggles (who is an Energetic Dancer) has met with a sad Mishap. In pact, he has burst bis Bkaces.
[General Commiseration misapplied, andunavailing.
THE WONDERS OF MODERN TRAVEL.
THE JOURNEY—(Concluded).
Wonder if that’s my portmanteau that that elderly gentleman is
taking away with him.
Wonder if they’ll send to meet me at the station.
Wonder (if they don’t send) whether there’s a fly or an omnibus.
Wonder where their house is.
Wonder if the station-master knows where their house is.
Wonder what a fly will charge.
Wonder what 1 shall do if they don’t send, and there isn’t a fly or
an omnibus.
Wonder what time they dine.
Wonder if I shall have time to write a letter before dinner.
Wonder, for the sixth time, whether I gave my writing-case to the
guard, or left it in the cab.
Wonder if I did leave it in the cab.
Wonder if this is where I get out.
SMALL STATION,
Wonder if the guard is right in saying that as, I’m going to Redditon,
it doesn’t matter whether 1 get out at the next station Stonnhurst, or
Morley Vale, the next but one.
Wonder for which place my luggage was labelled.
Wonder whether after getting out at Stonnhurst I shall have to go
back for my luggage to Morley Vale.
Wonder if I do right in deciding upon getting out at Stonnhurst.
STONNHURST.
Wonder if my luggage has gone on to Morley Vale.
Wonder if I left my umbrella in the carriage, or forgot to bring it.
Wonder how far it is from Stonnhurst to Morley Vale.
Wonder if they’ve sent a trap to meet me at Morley Vale.
Wonder why, when people invite one to come down to some out-of-
the-way place, they don’t tell one all these difficulties in their letter.
Wonder if they’ll have sense enough to drive to Stonnhurst from
Morley Vale.
Wonder if I shall meet them on the road, if I walk there.
Wonder which is the road.
Wonder, in answer to demand at the station-door where I put my
ticket.
Wonder if I dropped it in the carriage.
Wonder what I can have done with it.
Wronder if I put it into the side pocket of my over-coat when I took
out my lights.
Wonder where the deuce my over-coat is.
SHYLOCK AND SOAPSUDS.
.
In a recent police case, a matron of the washerwomanish persuasion
was charged with passing a bad half-crown in payment to a small trades-
man of the nation absurdly called the Jewish persuasion. She did not
seem to disclaim knowledge that the coin was not from the Queen’s
Mint, but defended herself by alleging that the complainant had a bit of j
lead under the scale in which he put the article sold. It was Sheridan
over again—the coachman said, “ A bad shilling, your Honour! ”—•“ All
right; yours is a bad coach.” The tradesman gave false weight, the
customer gave false money. Was this a case for legal interference, or j
was it not an instance of the healthy way in which commerce adjusts
itself, if only let alone? The plaint was dismissed on low grounds, as
usual, but the Magistrate might have appealed to the laws of high politi-
cal economy. We rather admire that washerwoman, but should not
care to entrust her with our best shirt.
Unpublished Anecdote.
Foote fell asleep while Opie was taking his portrait. ( On leaving,
the painter pressed the wit to give him another sitting. “ On one con-
dition,” said Foote, “ that you do not give me another opiate.
“ Doing Banting.”—Pocketing half a dozen of his pamphlets, and
not stopping to pay for them.