Punch (55.1868)

126

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[September 19, 1868.

THEATRICAL.

I HAArE seen many Theatrical advertisements which read strangely to
us “ the kind friends in front,” hut are not the following especially
mysterious ?—

THEATRE, KENDAL.

WANTED, to Open, on the 7th of September, a GENT, for Second,
to Heavies, and Ladies and Gentlemen for Responsible. Address, &c.

“ A Gent,” not a gentleman. But this distinction is explicable if we
read on, and find that “ Gentlemen” are engaged to be “responsible.”
Ergo, the Gent is to be Irresponsible. In that case, who ’ll have any
command over him ? On the stage he ’ll just say and do what he
pleases. I should like to see “ Hamlet by an Irresponsible Gent.”

The next seems to me a little hard upon the Leading Man and
Leading Lady :—-

THEATRE ROYAL, COVENTRY.

WANTED (in consequence of a breach of faith), a LEADING MAN
and a Leading Lady. Must dress well on and off the Stage.

On the stage to dress well is necessary; but “off it,” who is to
regulate the cut or pattern of the Leading Gentleman’s trowsers, or the
style of the Lady’s morning and evening costume ?

I shall not be accused of a wish to puff an institution of which I
know nothing at all, if I draw attention to the fact, that we may nowr
learn what has become of the tried friend and companion of Messes.
Pickwick, Tupman and Winkle :—

Liverpool.—queen’s hall, bold street—(w. snod-

ghass, Sole Proprietor and Lessee.)

The name is so uncommon, it must be the identical gentleman.

Partridges and Sparrows.

Birds are scarce this year. Shooting is very bad. A battue is
hardly to be thought of anywhere, except by bat-fowlers, whose sport
is as good as usual, and much better than that of shooting half-domes-
ticated game.

LETTER EROM A THIEF.

Sie, Me. Punch,

If as I have heerd proputy have Its rites, it stans to Reasin
them wich wish to Get proputy has theres likewise, and I have heerd
that you Stick up for fair Play all round, wich therefore I adress you
these few lines, and hope you will make a Stand agin the harbitray
Plan to put down Jewries. Sir, is a pore Thief wich I allow I am tho
not worse nor some as would Punch eds if so turned to Have no
chance wich you and all Noble Spotsmen give a beest of Pray. Sir,
the Jewry wich I allow is a Stupid ass mostly is our only chance, now
the Chaplings is growed cut and aint to be Done by a pore mouth and
a im. We can hire that truly Noble gent a crimal barister and if he
Can bother the Jewry we have one Chance more, wich ought not to be
took away. If a Gudge had to try us out of his own ed not a pore
Thief would get off and it is as good as a Play better than most to see
the Gudge skowling at the Stupid Jewry wen they wont see what is as
Plain to my lord as it is to me wot Done it that I am guilty and heer
him say Despising them like, that I have had a Lucky escape. Wich
ought to be aloud us and believe if you looked in the Crownation
hoath you would find it there along of the Hirish churches. Stick up
for the Thief’s honly Friend the stupid British Jewry Sir and oblidge

Yours truly,

Tiger Bay. Toby Ceackee.

A High Affair of Honour.

The French code of honour obliges any gentleman insulted by
another to challenge him, and allows that other the choice of weapons.
It should also allow him the choice of place. Then a funambulist,
though less skilled than M. Blondin, would, be enabled to assassinate
anybody he pleased, by extorting a challenge from him, and then obliging
him to fight upon the tight-rope.

Advice to Idle Vagabonds.—Put your shoulder to the wheel—or
put your feet.

INSIDE OUR BATHING-MACHINE.

Owing to ti-ie Holes in the Roof, we take some Time to Deess on a Wet Morning.