Punch (55.1868)

October 3, 1868.]

PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

137

i

DISTANCE LENDS (NO) ENCHANTMENT TO THE VIEW.”

THE FISHERMAN A FREEMASON.

At Rome, if the Post we can place on
Reliance, with no fib its face on,

A tale is related,

Wherein it is stated
The Pope once was made a Freemason.

’Twas when, a young gallant and gay man,
No priest he was yet, but a layman,

And so far no meeter
To sit for St. Peter,

Than Barclay and Perkins’s Drayman.

A lodge-book, so goes the narration.

Has turned up, his initiation
Within it recorded,

The Church him awarded
Of course, then, excommunication!

It may all my eye be, and Betty
Martino, but there down he’s set, he
Himself and no other,

Admitted as Brother,

Giovanni Mastai Ferretti.

As Pius appeared when they made him
A Freemason, Art has portrayed him
An apron as wearing ;

Insignia bearing;

That trick has Photography played him.

Instead of cross-keys, the old Trump has
Square, trowel, triangle, and compass,

O rare exhibition!

And Rome’s Inquisition
About it, of course, makes no rumpus.

His craft he will bring no disgrace on,

His steps if his path he retrace on,

And crown the top-storey
Of Italy’s glory,

Her free and accepted Pope-Mason.

Edwin arranges to Meet his Angelina at the Pier-head. He arrives at
the South End, she at the North. It is Three Miles round to her!

An Ugly Bargain.—A Cheap Bull-dog.

THE CIVIC BULL-RING AND BEAR-GARDEN.

Mr. Punch,

The Bears of the Stock Exchange have been hitherto sup-
osed to be merely a certain class of stockjobbers, whose game in
usiness consisted in trying, by means more or less rascally, to depre-
ciate stocks and shares ; those pursuing an opposite policy being called
Bulls.

It now appears—to those who didn’t know before-—that when a
stranger finds his way by chanoe into the room wherein these Bulls
and Bears transact their business, instead of being civilly informed that
it is private, and being shown out by an attendant, he is immediately set
upon by the society which he has fallen amongst, bonneted, hustled,
and forcibly extruded. This is much the sort of way in which anyone
would be treated if he were to tumble into a real bear-pit; only that
there the bears would tear him to pieces, which the members of the
Stock Exchange are of course restrained from doing by the fear of
Calcrapt. Their maltreatment of strangers evinces a rudeness and
ferocity remarkably characteristic indeed of bears, but not of bears
only. Bulls, for example, can exhibit just the same qualities ; and the
Bulls of the Stock Exchange show themselves equally savage with the
Bears. _ It is not, therefore, by the “ Bears of the Stock Exchange,”
in particular, that strangers are attacked, but by both the Bears and
Bulls in conjunction; in a word, by the Brutes of the Stock Exchange.

Were you aware, Mr. Punch, that the City, of which you are the
boast, contains such brutes as those same Bulls of Basan, and Bears ?
If so, surely, for all your objection to old English sports attended with
suffering to animals, you would ere this have diverted the British
Public with a little Bull-baiting and Bear-baiting. At least you might
have produced a pictorial exhibition of certain Bulls tethered and
“ pinned,” and Bears muzzled and undergoing the punishment of being
worried by dogs, or forced to dance, in a shameful and ridiculous
manner.

It is not, however, only the Stock Exchange, of all places in the City
of London, which is tenanted by ferocious creatures. Brutes equally
savage infest the neighbourhood of Lombard Street, where, the other
rriday afternoon, they collected in a pack, like wolves or hyaenas,
Howled at, pelted, and otherwise assailed the congregation issuing from

the church of St. Edmund the King, wherein they had been listening
to a sermon preached by Father Ignatius. They had heard that, in
one of his previous discourses delivered there, Ignatius had compared
London to Jericho, had called their class worshippers of the golden
calf, and money-makers in general thieves. If real hyaenas and wolves
could understand human speech, no doubt they likewise would have
flowm, tooth and nail, at anybody whom they understood to have said
that they were greedy, bloodthirsty, and cruel.

Father Ignatius, while he was playing the monk, shaved his head.
Thereby, perhaps, he did himself good. He has now taken to boots
again, is decently clothed, and seems to be in his right mind, at least
in as far as he preaches home truths. But even if he continued to
preach Popery, mock or real, to beset, and fall upon, and joitch into
him and his adherents, is to behave not only like the wolf and the
hygena, but also, saving the impatience which such violence betrays,
like the jackass. It promotes a laughing-stock to the dignity of a con-
fessor ; and increases his following. Besides—and this is what the

cudgel in your hands might beat into the heads of Protestant multi-
tudes—it reduces them to a level with those frantic Papists who show
what they think of the damage which Murphy’s abuse of their religion
does it, by rioting, and, in its defence against words, resorting to
blows.

A short time since, a very good band was accustomed to perform in
the open space west of the Mansion House every Saturday. This was
a good institution for the City. “ Music hath charms,” &c. I suppose
that Orpheus did really soothe the savage breast, and got credit for
soothing the savage beast. Shouldn’t you like to see what effect
Joachim would produce by walking into the Stock Exchange, and
playing the fiddle P He might safely do it in Lombard Street, at any
rate; and then Father Ignatius would be left alone—the best thing
that could happen. Wanted a Peabody to remunerate the musician—-
I had nearly made the mistake of saying, pay the piper. Who is the
successor to Van Amburgh? Some Brute Tamer, anyhow, is sadly
wanted in the City.

Wishing my position enabled me to stir in the matter,

I am, Sir, respectfully yours,

Guildhall, Goose Bay, 1S68. Gog.