Punch (55.1868)

136

[September 26, 1S68.

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

“OH, i DARE SAY!”

Helen {19). “Oh, I say, Cousin George, if it wasn’t for ’Ma sitting there, wouldn’t this be like that Beautiful Cave
in Charles Reade’s ‘Foul Play,’ where you know-”

[Cousin George {ditto) was just going to say that the same idea had struck him, Joe., lulien 'Ma rose, and called out it was time to go home to tea !

A SLANG CATECHISM.

Q. What is an Aristocrat ?

A. A Swell, a Nob.

Q. Is there a distinction between a Swell and a Nob ?

A. Rayther so. All Nobs are Swells, but a Swell ain’t necessarily
a Nob.

Q. Give an example.

A. The Markis o’ Astings, he’s a Nob and he’s a Swell; Mr.
Augustus Smith, in some Government hoffi.ee or other, as goes about
with Markisses and dresses no end—he’s a Swell, but he ain’t a Nob.

Q. Whence do you derive the appellation Nob ?

A. Erom a door-handle. As there’s always a’most a knob to a
handle, so in society it’s the handle to the name as makes the Nob.

Q. Into what classes do you divide Society ?

A. Into Nobs, which includes regular Nobs : Swells, which includes
i Tiptoppers, Regular Swells, Cheap Swells, Gents, Snobs, and Cocky-
waxes.

Q. What is a Regular Nob ?

A. As aforesaid. Handle to name, tin, togs, and all complete.

Q. What is a Tip-top Swell ?

A. Mostly Coves in four-in-’ands. From twenty to thirty-five.

Q. A Regular Swell ?

A. He is a older cove—from thirty-five to fifty. He rayther runs to
fat, but there ain’t a speck on him anywhere, and his boots and tile are
out-and-out.

Q. The terms Cheap Swell, Gent, and Snob require no explanation.
What, then, is a Cockywax ?

A. It’s a term of endearment, and may include any of the above, or
may be a class by itself, without a swell or nob in it. Cockywaxes are
any age. If addressing a Cockywax you qualify it by prefixing “ old ”
or “ young.”

Q. You mention Togs, whence is this word derived ?

A. Undoubtedly from the Latin Toga. _ “Togs ” means dress.

Q. 'When was the word Cove first used ?

A. It was imported by the Romans, and was first used in an abbre-
viated form by the British whenever they saw a Covinarius, i.e., a
soldier in a war-chariot.

Q. Explain and give derivations of the words Trump, Brick, Chap,
Guffin, and Bloke. Also in each case give your reference.

A. I will. Walker! [Exit A'/iswerer.

N.B. AND M.B.

The Dispatch announces that :—

“ The curate of a Ritualistic church in the neighbourhood of Warwick, with
the vicar’s two daughters, have just gone over to Rome.”

So this is the way that Ritualistic curates now elope with their
masters’ daughters ! The misfortune of the vicar in the neighbourhood
of Warwick should be a caution to clergymen and fathers. In the old
time, when curates ran away with vicars’ daughters, they went over to
Gretna Green merely, and that with. only one. Now the Ritualist
abducer is off to Rome with two at a time. In advertising for a curate,
beneficed clergymen may as well in future append to their announce-
ments ;—“ N.B. No wearer of an M.B. waistcoat need apply.’

Wanted.

Who’s to be the new Secretary for Ireland in the room of Lord
Mayo ? Mr. Disraeli, with his usual conscientious desire to get the
very best man he can for an important appointment, and the one who
above all others has proved himself most fitted for its duties, is under-
stood to have his eye on the Master of the Buckhounds, and to be also
favourable to the pretensions of the Captain of the Yeomen ot the
Guard.

ROUNDS—OF APPLAUSE.

Blow for Flow, at the Holborn Theatre, ought to be a great hit. But
why was it not reserved for Boxing Night ?