DOI Heft:
November 21, 1868
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16882#0217
November 21, 1868.j
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
211
ELECTION ITEMS.
N the week ending Novem-
ber 21, 1868, the Inquisi-
tion with all its terrors
was set up in England—
so future historians will
record. Pressure was
brought to bear all over,
aud the screw vigorously
applied. Many men of
good birth, education, and
fortune, were put to the
question, and tortured past
endurance and luncheon
time, openly in Market
Places, Town Halls, and
other public resorts, in the
presence of the clergy and
ministers of all denomina-
tions, who far from inter-
fering to save the victims
from suffering, at times
added to their torment. The
Government whip was not
forgotten, and the ‘‘boot”
of the Irish Church mer-
cilessly worked. Men were
on the rack for hours ; they
were badgered, baited, and
trapped, and some went
away from the scene of tor-
ture hopelessly fettered for
years to come. One poor
man, quite ' young, could
hardly reach his hotel, so
_ prostrate and exhausted
was he, all through an ex-
traordinary combination of
Bishops in the House of Lords, deceased wives’ sisters, married couples
in workhouses, garotters, life peers, Protestant Dissenters, Ritualists,
teetotallers, Trades’ Unionists, compound householders, Irish Deans,
female voters, Eeniaus, public school-boys, and street Arabs. He
declared that he had also been interrogated as to his opinions upon
Latin verses, open spaces, fancy bread, undergraduates’ dinners, the
distress prevailing amongst the purveyors of “ canine provisions,”, the
surrender of Gibraltar, and the November star-showers. Another
victim sat up the whole of the night before he was led out to the
Hustings, at his inn in a Scotch Burgh, where fortunately the
whiskey was all that could be desired, trying to master the Law of
Hypothec; and in Wales several aspirants bound themselves to the
Atlas-like task of removing Monmouthshire from the Map of England.
Some speakers had to face the vegetarian question when cabbages
lightly touched their whiskers, and in more boroughs than one rabbits
introduced the subject of Game Laws.
Many youthful Candidates, who relied principally on their family
connection with Thisborough and Thatborough, made the farce com-
plete by having a prompter at their side when it was their turn to
speak : others were observed to look anxiously into the crown of their
hat —the crowd all the while very desirous to have it from them.
The usual platformitudes were spoken. All the forms were gone
through, but some unlucky men never found their seats again. Many
young fellows lamented their imperfect education, when they found
themselves unable to explain to Bertha, and Clara, and Margaret,
the exact meaning of such expressions as hustings, scot and lot, pot-
wallopers, freemen, forty-shilling freeholders, faggot votes, knights of
the shire, pocket boroughs, &c.
The show of hands was as liberal and dirty as ever.
The ladies, not in the least troubled by all Bovill and Bales had
been saying of them, displayed their usual beautiful colours, and
seemed a little disappointed at the Returning Officer not
in uniform, nor could they make out to what
Perhaps they thought more of the Candidates’ looks than their views,
and although not generally partial to statistics, they were delighted
with many of their figures. In one or two cases of uncompromising
wigs, the state of the poll was not considered satisfactory. When
the speakers treated.(thereby breaking the law) the electors to equalisa-
tion of the poor-rates, county financial boards, Regium Donum, &c.,
the ladies exercised the franchise, despite the Court of Common Pleas,
and voted them a bore ; but on the whole they received the addresses
of their favourite Candidates with marked approval and pocket-hand-
kerchiefs. The gentlemen who proposed were in high favour, and per-
haps to the ladies the most interesting event of all was—the Declaration.
A great many votes were split, and a few heads.
Special Trains ran, and so did Special Constables.
OUR EXCHANGE COLUMN.
DRESS.
Garibaldi.—I will exchange a Tucked White Muslin trimmed with
real Cluny, for something worth having. I will not take stamps,
crests, or old music, having done that myself often. What I do want
is a beautiful real Sealskin Jacket and a Pony-Carriage, with Pony,
warm rugs, and a Silver-mounted white Whip. Jenny D.
Habit.—Wanted a Riding Habit, made to fit, for a lovely figure.
Must be of the best cloth, made by the best tailor; also to match a
Hat, a Chestnut Mare, a Whip with a Gold Handle, a Gold Watch,
Three Diamond Rings, and £1000_a-year pin-money. Many things to
offer in exchange—open to suggestions. L. N. (21)
LIBRARY.
Scott.—I want the original editions of all Sir Walter Scott’s
works. I will give, in exchange, the volumes of Bradshaw, in perfect
order, for the last ten years. (SO)
Tapper.—I will exchange a copy of the Proverbial Philosophy fone
quarter cut) for anything except stamps, crests, or old music. (19)
Jokes,—I have some fine old crusted jokes, warranted to set the table
in a roar, better than new; also some first-rate riddles, in an excellent
state of preservation, supposed to have been composed by the author
of “ When is a door not a door ? ” and at about the same date. I will
exchange them for dinners at the best Clubs: five jukes and two
riddles per dinner. (D. B.)
GARDEN.
I will exchange a couple of flower-pots and a spade for a first-class
hunter over fifteen three. He must be safe and sound. (3109)
What will anyone give me, in the way of geraniums, ferns, and cac-
tuses, for some beautiful old music, a collection of postage-stamps
(over two hundred, and some blue), and a variety of crests ? (410,710)
I will give some splendid specimens of mustard and cress, grown on
a flannel over a damp saucer (a perfect little marvel in horticulture), for
a lawn-mowing machine in perfect order, or anything really worth
having. Crests and old music objected to. (345,678)
DOMESTIC.
I have a very old hat, and boots to match. Will exchange the same
for anything except stamps, olcl music, crests, or monograms (100,000)
POULTRY.
I have a very large, light Brahma cock, which I will exchange for a
Brahma lock. (307)
Wanted, a red game Bantam. Will give in exchange a first-rate
collection of stamps and crests. (45)
I do want a Guinea fowl. I will give in exchange any number of
autographs of anybody living or dead. There’s an offer !
■ 1 ' (900,700,600Q)
SPORTS AND PASTIMES.
Skating.—Wanted, slides for a magic lantern. The “Deviland
Baker” objected to. Will give an odd. skate—a very odd skate—in
exchange.
Dumb-bells.—Will exchange dumb-bells with anybody, if his are
better than mine. (6,007)
Clubs.—Will exchange Clubs with any gentleman, if he will pay my
subscription. (9.00)
“ Sigh no More, Ladies: Ladies, Sigh no More.”
An indignant “ advocate of her sex” writes to us, denouncing the
Pall-Mall as a “ brute of a paper,” which lias always treated the softer
and sweeter sex in its articles “ as the dirt under its feet,” and com-
plaining especially of that ungallant organ for having dared to call the
claim of ladies to vote at common law, a “ mare’s nest.”
Punch begs his indignant Correspondent to be comforted. The Pall-
Mall is very rude. It wasn’t a mare’s nest. It was a lady-mayoress’s.
& appearing
regiment he belonged.
A la Bonne Henre !
The Tories spread rumours that Mr. Gladstone is a Catholic.
Ha! Mr. Punch is reminded of a verse of an old ballad, wherein it is
said to the enemies of a fighting Bishop—
“ Right heavily upon your heads
He ’ll lay his hand—in steel,
And with his trusty Partisan
Your absolution deal.”
Greatness has its Penalties.—It requires some previous instruc-
tion to perform the duties of the Ninth of November properly. As a
rule, the Lord Mayor is “ coached up ” every year.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
211
ELECTION ITEMS.
N the week ending Novem-
ber 21, 1868, the Inquisi-
tion with all its terrors
was set up in England—
so future historians will
record. Pressure was
brought to bear all over,
aud the screw vigorously
applied. Many men of
good birth, education, and
fortune, were put to the
question, and tortured past
endurance and luncheon
time, openly in Market
Places, Town Halls, and
other public resorts, in the
presence of the clergy and
ministers of all denomina-
tions, who far from inter-
fering to save the victims
from suffering, at times
added to their torment. The
Government whip was not
forgotten, and the ‘‘boot”
of the Irish Church mer-
cilessly worked. Men were
on the rack for hours ; they
were badgered, baited, and
trapped, and some went
away from the scene of tor-
ture hopelessly fettered for
years to come. One poor
man, quite ' young, could
hardly reach his hotel, so
_ prostrate and exhausted
was he, all through an ex-
traordinary combination of
Bishops in the House of Lords, deceased wives’ sisters, married couples
in workhouses, garotters, life peers, Protestant Dissenters, Ritualists,
teetotallers, Trades’ Unionists, compound householders, Irish Deans,
female voters, Eeniaus, public school-boys, and street Arabs. He
declared that he had also been interrogated as to his opinions upon
Latin verses, open spaces, fancy bread, undergraduates’ dinners, the
distress prevailing amongst the purveyors of “ canine provisions,”, the
surrender of Gibraltar, and the November star-showers. Another
victim sat up the whole of the night before he was led out to the
Hustings, at his inn in a Scotch Burgh, where fortunately the
whiskey was all that could be desired, trying to master the Law of
Hypothec; and in Wales several aspirants bound themselves to the
Atlas-like task of removing Monmouthshire from the Map of England.
Some speakers had to face the vegetarian question when cabbages
lightly touched their whiskers, and in more boroughs than one rabbits
introduced the subject of Game Laws.
Many youthful Candidates, who relied principally on their family
connection with Thisborough and Thatborough, made the farce com-
plete by having a prompter at their side when it was their turn to
speak : others were observed to look anxiously into the crown of their
hat —the crowd all the while very desirous to have it from them.
The usual platformitudes were spoken. All the forms were gone
through, but some unlucky men never found their seats again. Many
young fellows lamented their imperfect education, when they found
themselves unable to explain to Bertha, and Clara, and Margaret,
the exact meaning of such expressions as hustings, scot and lot, pot-
wallopers, freemen, forty-shilling freeholders, faggot votes, knights of
the shire, pocket boroughs, &c.
The show of hands was as liberal and dirty as ever.
The ladies, not in the least troubled by all Bovill and Bales had
been saying of them, displayed their usual beautiful colours, and
seemed a little disappointed at the Returning Officer not
in uniform, nor could they make out to what
Perhaps they thought more of the Candidates’ looks than their views,
and although not generally partial to statistics, they were delighted
with many of their figures. In one or two cases of uncompromising
wigs, the state of the poll was not considered satisfactory. When
the speakers treated.(thereby breaking the law) the electors to equalisa-
tion of the poor-rates, county financial boards, Regium Donum, &c.,
the ladies exercised the franchise, despite the Court of Common Pleas,
and voted them a bore ; but on the whole they received the addresses
of their favourite Candidates with marked approval and pocket-hand-
kerchiefs. The gentlemen who proposed were in high favour, and per-
haps to the ladies the most interesting event of all was—the Declaration.
A great many votes were split, and a few heads.
Special Trains ran, and so did Special Constables.
OUR EXCHANGE COLUMN.
DRESS.
Garibaldi.—I will exchange a Tucked White Muslin trimmed with
real Cluny, for something worth having. I will not take stamps,
crests, or old music, having done that myself often. What I do want
is a beautiful real Sealskin Jacket and a Pony-Carriage, with Pony,
warm rugs, and a Silver-mounted white Whip. Jenny D.
Habit.—Wanted a Riding Habit, made to fit, for a lovely figure.
Must be of the best cloth, made by the best tailor; also to match a
Hat, a Chestnut Mare, a Whip with a Gold Handle, a Gold Watch,
Three Diamond Rings, and £1000_a-year pin-money. Many things to
offer in exchange—open to suggestions. L. N. (21)
LIBRARY.
Scott.—I want the original editions of all Sir Walter Scott’s
works. I will give, in exchange, the volumes of Bradshaw, in perfect
order, for the last ten years. (SO)
Tapper.—I will exchange a copy of the Proverbial Philosophy fone
quarter cut) for anything except stamps, crests, or old music. (19)
Jokes,—I have some fine old crusted jokes, warranted to set the table
in a roar, better than new; also some first-rate riddles, in an excellent
state of preservation, supposed to have been composed by the author
of “ When is a door not a door ? ” and at about the same date. I will
exchange them for dinners at the best Clubs: five jukes and two
riddles per dinner. (D. B.)
GARDEN.
I will exchange a couple of flower-pots and a spade for a first-class
hunter over fifteen three. He must be safe and sound. (3109)
What will anyone give me, in the way of geraniums, ferns, and cac-
tuses, for some beautiful old music, a collection of postage-stamps
(over two hundred, and some blue), and a variety of crests ? (410,710)
I will give some splendid specimens of mustard and cress, grown on
a flannel over a damp saucer (a perfect little marvel in horticulture), for
a lawn-mowing machine in perfect order, or anything really worth
having. Crests and old music objected to. (345,678)
DOMESTIC.
I have a very old hat, and boots to match. Will exchange the same
for anything except stamps, olcl music, crests, or monograms (100,000)
POULTRY.
I have a very large, light Brahma cock, which I will exchange for a
Brahma lock. (307)
Wanted, a red game Bantam. Will give in exchange a first-rate
collection of stamps and crests. (45)
I do want a Guinea fowl. I will give in exchange any number of
autographs of anybody living or dead. There’s an offer !
■ 1 ' (900,700,600Q)
SPORTS AND PASTIMES.
Skating.—Wanted, slides for a magic lantern. The “Deviland
Baker” objected to. Will give an odd. skate—a very odd skate—in
exchange.
Dumb-bells.—Will exchange dumb-bells with anybody, if his are
better than mine. (6,007)
Clubs.—Will exchange Clubs with any gentleman, if he will pay my
subscription. (9.00)
“ Sigh no More, Ladies: Ladies, Sigh no More.”
An indignant “ advocate of her sex” writes to us, denouncing the
Pall-Mall as a “ brute of a paper,” which lias always treated the softer
and sweeter sex in its articles “ as the dirt under its feet,” and com-
plaining especially of that ungallant organ for having dared to call the
claim of ladies to vote at common law, a “ mare’s nest.”
Punch begs his indignant Correspondent to be comforted. The Pall-
Mall is very rude. It wasn’t a mare’s nest. It was a lady-mayoress’s.
& appearing
regiment he belonged.
A la Bonne Henre !
The Tories spread rumours that Mr. Gladstone is a Catholic.
Ha! Mr. Punch is reminded of a verse of an old ballad, wherein it is
said to the enemies of a fighting Bishop—
“ Right heavily upon your heads
He ’ll lay his hand—in steel,
And with his trusty Partisan
Your absolution deal.”
Greatness has its Penalties.—It requires some previous instruc-
tion to perform the duties of the Ninth of November properly. As a
rule, the Lord Mayor is “ coached up ” every year.