Punch (55.1868)

212

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[November 21, 1868.

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HUNTING STUDIES BY RAIL.

Different Ideas of Comfort in Coats.

BRUTAL TREATMENT OE A EEN1AN !
PRISONER.

Were may tlie Eenians raise tlie cry against jj
the Saxon tyrant. Read the Cork Herald:—

“ Mrs. Mackay, the wife of ‘ Captain r
Mack ay, the Fenian convict, has had two in-
terviews with her husband in Millhank Prison.
She seemed well satisfied with the treatment her
husband was receiving. Mackay was comfortably
clad, and had become so 6tout that she did not re-
cognise him until he spoke.”

Here is a theme for the Eenian Press in
America:—“The brutal wretches who have
incarcerated our patriots, cram them, like-
1 urkeys, until their glorious and godlike
figures are destroyed, that they may hold
them up as ludicrous monsters of obesity.
But we tell the haughty Saxon that, when
we regain our hero, we will soon starve him
down into heroic mould ; and when he comes
with banner, brand, and bow, as leader seeks
his mortal foe, the Governor of Millbank
shall expiate, on coals of fire, the tyrannic-
cookery which has fattened our Mackay.”

Poem for a Railway Platform.

Ideas, into trains of thought
By running, hurt no brains—

Not so when passengers are brought
To grief—by luggage trains.

“ IN MEDIO TUTISSIMiE.”

The County all strong-minded females
ought to vote in—Middlesex.

MR, GLADSTONE A PAPIST.

Mr. Punch never had the slightest doubt that Mr. Gladstone was
a Papist. But as less acute persons than Mr. Punch appear to be just
now much exercised on the subject, and keep on writing letters to Mr.
Gladstone and the papers about it, Mr. Punch begs leave to submit
the following irrefragable proofs of the Roman Catholicism of the next
Premier. After this, surely no more need be said.

Mr. Punch knows that Mr. Gladstone is a Papist,

Because, even in his family circle, he has never been heard to call the
Church of Rome a Scarlet Lady, or to propose the toast, “ Bad
End to the Pope! ”

Because, when a Shoe-black of the S.Y.P. brigade once asked him to
have his shoes “ shined,” though Mr. Gladstone hypocritically
refused the young Papist’s services, he gave him a penny.
Because he never fastens his letters with wafers. His adulators say
that this is because gummed envelopes are cleanlier and more con-
venient ; but we know better. It is out of respect to the Wafer
used by the Church of Rome.

Because the hair at the top of his head is thinning. Naturally, say
his defenders. Out on them! We know that in the most secret
and artful manner he has a few hairs taken out every day, with a
view to an ultimate imitation of the tonsure.

Because he destroyed the Italian prisons, that were full of priests’
victims. This was because the scandal of the system was injuring
the Papacy, which he sought to conserve.

Because he never lets off fireworks from his balcony in Carlton House
Terrace, on Guy Paux Day, nor gives money to the boys with
Guys.

Because Mrs. Gladstone is always doing acts of charity to the poor,
as notoriously enjoined by the Church of Rome, as proofs of faith.
Because he has translated several Protestant hymns into Latin, to
make them resemble Popish hymns.

Because he frequently makes quotations from Pope, who, besides
having such a name, was a Catholic.

Because he is not a subscriber to the Record or the Rock.

Because he does not intend to offer very high office to Mr. Whalley.
Because Dr. Manning, long before he went over, having been god-
father to a son of Mr. Gladstone, he did not, on the Doctor’s
going over, procure a private Act of Parliament for disestablishing
the sponsorship.

Because if there is fish at his dinner on Fridays (as there usually is,
mark), he generally takes some.

Because his brother-in-law, Sir Stephen Glynne, notoriously lives- i
in a castle that belonged to Roman Catholics for several hundred
years.

Because he has never been known by his family, when at table, and 1
there was mutton, to express a desire to eat the Pope’s Eye.

Because with Diabolical and Jesuitical art he has always declared and j
proved himself a devoted supporter of the Church of England, and
this alone, to any “truly Protestant” mind, Mr. Gladstone’s j
evil character being considered, would be—and indeed seems to ;
be— sufficient proof that he who will be Premier at Christinas is a
bigoted Papist.

N.R. The above may be reprinted by any Protestant Association.

JOHN BULL TO JOHN BRIGHT.

My eloquent John Bright, your denunciation’s strong,

But more potently would smite your satire’s stinging thong,

If for guidance ot its might, you’d take this with you along—

That you aren’t always right, your opponents always wrong;

That some doctrines worth a whiff are, though they lead between two
stools;

That sails for the state-skiff are, without ballast, dangerous tools ;

That dull folks’ backs get stifl'er, the more you call them mules;

And that men from you may differ, yet be neither rogues nor fools ;

That ’twixt argument and reason wise men two ways may decide ;

That to ride slow there’s a season, and a season fast to ride;

That to truth it is no treason both eyes to open wide,

One that things their ZU/Aside sees on, and one on their Brightsit&e.

Too Bad.

The Brigands, a week or so ago, took off Mr. Campbell, Vice-Rector
of the Scotch College in Rome. Mr. Campbell was returned by the
brigands, on compulsion, safe and sound. Now what was the obser-
vation of the Times Correspondent on this matter? Why, will it be
believed, an unfeeling pun; he actually wrote to the leading Journal to
say that “ Brigandage in this province is not killed, though Scotched, ’
We shouldn’t ua’ thought it of him.

Extremes Meet.—So did Mr. Bright and the Gun Trader