Punch (55.1868)

138

[October 3, 1868.

PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.




PUNCH’S HANDBOOK FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

LEAMINGTON.

ne Mr. Benjamin Satcii-
well, a shoemaker, in the
year 1784, who, not content
with improving the soles
of his fellow men, was de-
sirous of renovating their
bodies also, discovered a
very remarkable saline
spring. He was probably
an aucestor of the more
modern follower of the
same craft who invented
side-springs. A friend of
Satchwell’s, one Wil-
liam Abbots, a worthy
licensed victualler, and
landlord of “The Dog,”
established some baths,
and Leamington is really
indebted for its present
popularity to these enter-
prising bath chaps. The
young watering-place was
also “ written up ” by the
Morning Chronicle, who
proved a friend to its
parent, for it published
dattering articles on the
infant’s spa. Dr. Lambe,
of Warwick, wrote a trea-
tise on the waters, which
was very clever of him, and several other springs were discovered, culminating
in one great spring into popularity, which flowed on successfully until the present
time, and will no doubt continue to do so whilst there are so many who believe
in its

Mineral Waters.—These are twelve in number, and of the usual sort—Chaly-
beate, involuntarily recalling Weller Junior’s “warm flat-iron” comparison;
sulphureous, suggestive of a decoction of lucifer-matches, and saline, which are simply
nasty. It is as well, they say, to consult one of the resident medical men (who by
long habit have almost induced themselves to believe that the water’s have some
effect on their patients) before indulging to any great extent in this most unplea-
sant beverage. People who have chronic biliousness through ceaseless spirit-
imbibing will derive benefit from occasional draughts of the Leamington water.
It is in two senses salutory for “ hard livers.” It is said that the proper period
wherein to test the efficacy of the waters is a month. Lodging-house keepers say
two, but we mistrust their motives. Lazy people should jump at them, and they
should be, if possible, drunk at the spring. This, however, requires practice.
More than Lvo good-sized pailfuls at a draught would be injudicious on a first i
attempt. The dose, however, may be increased, and if the patient fives he should
go in lor

who ought to have known better, destroyed it in 1066 ;
aud though accustomed to stormy gales, the town was some
time in recovering from this tremendous blow. This is
scarcely to be wondered at, after being utterly demolished
it does take some little time to recover oneself. We have
all felt that, and why shouldn’t Scarborough.

It lias frequently been sieged. Piers Gaveston, Earl
of Cornwall, fled here, but was forced to surrender. Other
Piers have given way at watering-places since his time.
In 1536 Robert Aske, leader of the Pilgrims of Grace
{grace, indeed!) tried to take the Castle, but he failed,
and in his case it was by no means a case of “ aske and
have.” Some chroniclers state that the Castle was taken
once by a son of Lord Stafford. Other historians, how-
ever, say it was taken by Stratagem. Our time is too
valuable to waste any of it in deciding which was in the
right. The Castle was besieged twice by the Parliamen-
tarians, and the garrison held out for twelve months on
the first occasion, until at starvation point, then having no
more provisions to give out, it was naturally obliged, to
give in.

The Spa.—The reputation of Scarborough resembles
a gig, and mainly rests upon two springs. They, were
found out by a lady, who discovered perpetual spring, if
she didn’t everlasting youth. A slight earthquake, in
1737, buried the springs, but a hardy and adventurous per-
son nerved himself to the task, and after looking about
for some days, eventually found them hiding artfully in a
corner. The visitor should by no means miss the

Spa Saloon.—A Spa-cious building, in which entertain-
ments of all kinds are given. The term “given” must
not of course be taken in its literal sense ; a sum is charged
for admission. Music from the soul-stirring strains of a
Mozart, down to the modern effusions of a Mackney,
may be heard during the season at this popular establish-
ment. Gentlemen who dive under desks, and. re-appear
with another name and another wig, sombre minstrels, of
the plantation, with a tendency to harmonise everything
they sing, and always possessing one big black fellow
with a maddening falsetto, ladies from La Scala, and gen-
tlemen from the Royal Ritolderol Music Hall with an
overwhelming weakness for unlimited Chorus, conjurors,
lecturers, concert parties and Shakspearian readers,. all
patronise the Spa Saloon, and its influence is therefore
antagonistic to

The Theatre, which is a very well-conducted little place,
and where you may often see London Stars in a popular
Comety.

How to Take the Waters.—One. reliable authority states,
“those who are in health may drink the^water ad libitum.”
Punch’s advice is, “ add something else.”

A PLEA EOR THE PILLORY.




Bathing.—This is a healthful pursuit at all times, and even at home, in connec-
tion with soap and a rough towel, may be safely indulged in by the most timid.
Shower, tepid, sulphureous, vapour, and cold baths may be all obtained in perfec-
tion at Leamington. More than three of each sort daily are not recommended to
nervous patients at first. They are not expensive, and stout people will find that
in the case of hot baths there is “a considerable reduction in taking a quantity.”
Should they make the patient ill, he may rely upon it they disagree with him.

Analysis of the Waters.—Without descending to decimal fractions, we are given
to understand that an imperial pint contains as follows

Sulphate of Somethingorother .... 35 grains.

Chloride of Whatd’yecallit.30 „

Bicarbonate of Kafoozleum .... 2 „

We confess at this juncture to having lost the paper on which this highly in-
teresting analysis was elaborately given. We believe we dropped it somewhere
between Brunswick Street and Lillington Place ; or on second thoughts, it . may
have been in Jephson’s Gardens, or possibly on the Rugby.Road. The visitor
should not miss the Royal Assembly Rooms or the Royal Music Hall, the Jephson
Gardens, or the Tennis Court (of which place a poor demented player once re-
marked, that for one ball missed, ten is caught, but he was at once seen to by his
friends); and last, but not least, in all seriousness,

The Warnefiord Hospital, called after the worthy rector of Burton-on-the-Hilfi
Gloucestershire. Tins supplies baths and medicines to the poor. Verb. Sap. “ The
smallest donations thankfully received.”

SCARBOROUGH.

Nobody knows anything about its foundation, but as it has stood so many years,
there can be no doubt that the foundation is pretty strong. The name is Saxon,
and was originally Skardaborgar, and a very pretty name too. Harold Hardrada,

The good old times! The rare old times ! One cau-
not well help sighing for them when one reads a bit like
this:—

“ In 1311 a baker was imprisoned for offering putrid bread for
sale; and in 1316 two bakers were drawn on hurdles through
the streets of the metropolis and pilloried for using false weights.
In 1319 William Spelyng was fixed in the pillory, whilst the
putrid carcasses of two bullocks found in his shop were burnt
under his nose ; and in 1348 two similar punishments for similar
crimes are recorded against delinquent butchers.”

Cruel? Well, yes, possibly. But are not bakers cruel,
when they cheat poor half-fed people by giving them short
weight ? Small tradesmen often are big rogues: of this
at every Sessions there is offered ample proof; and.the
worst are they who cheat the poor in food and drink.
These small tradesmen make large profits, and can easily
afford to snap their fingers at the . fines, which are
nowadays imposed on them for swindling in their shops.
It would be a fine thing for the poor if fines were no
more suffered, and a fine sight it would be to see a baker
in the pillory, or whipped at his shop door for having sold
short weight. Cheating such, as this is virtually stealing,
and deserves a harsher punishment than payment of a
fine, an item which is simply classed among the trade
expenses, and paid out of the profits of the next half-
score of thefts If we merely fine a shop-keeper for rob-
bing by false weights, we ought merely to fine a burglar or
a pickpocket, and we ought to shut our prisons against
everv sort of thief.