Punch: Punch (57.1869)

September 4, 1863.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

91

SHAKSPEARE SUPERSEDED.

When on Home's successful piece,

Douglas, first the curtain fell;
(Now-a-days, dissentient geese,
Would not let it go so well).
In the pit a brother Scot,

Cock-a-whoop, in triumph crew,
Cryiner, like a patriot,
" Whar's your Wullie Shakspur noo F"

To the Tragic the Grotesque
Now the multitude prefer ;
Wags, burlesque upon burlesque,

To the public minister.
Why not, when their loftier aim

Would be wasted, would not do ?
So with Sawney we exclaim,
" Whar's your Wullie Shakspur noo ? "

Up to Nature while buffoons,

On the stage, the mirror hold,
Colleen Batons and Octoroons,

In succession we behold.
Drawing, since a by-gone day,

More than Hamlet ever drew.
Those sensation dramas pay—

" Whar's your Wullie Shakspur noo ? "

Six long years, at Drury Lane,

For the ideal Drama strove
Chatterton, with effort vain ;

All that while he never throve.
Says that Shakspeake ruin spelt,

Byron bankruptcy in view,
Where's your Byron, tedious felt ?
" Whar's your Wullie Shakspur noo ? "

Now Formosa, who Jane Shore,
In a measure would suggest;
Were the latter not a bore.

Too outworn to be expressed,
Fills the stalls full every night ;
Fills choke-full the boxes too—

Might not the present Pannier Dresses ee made Useful as well as Who is England's first Playwright?

Ornamental ? " Whar's your Wullie Shakspur noo ? "

rPTJi? "orr^r a tvt wr>T>t tvo -Q \ Tu> Inquisition. Such things are now out of date, even in Spain, and had

lxi±j jxUMAIN \\ Uridyl; 5 TAlxX. best be forgotten. No place, therefore, will be assigned them, but

PioNono, apparently, does not mean to rest contented with con- besides the Catalogue, visitors to the papal omniumgatherum will be

demning the proposition that the Pope ought to conform to the ideas P"*ented with a copious Index. _

of modern civilisation. He seems to meditate confronting them, and I ,
cutting them out on their own ground. One of the chief of these

ideas is, that of holding exhibitions of industry. The Holy Father, on j BEATS SPIRITUALISM,

the other hand, intends to hold an exhibition of Romanism. Accordin;
to a newspaper :—

This evening Professor Phillips will deliver a discourse on Vesuvius.'

So it was stated in the account of the proceedings of the British
" The Pope has decided that the Universal Catholic Exhibition of 1S70 ; Association in the West of England. But how could it be, seeing that
shall be opened on February 1, and closed on June 1, and is reserving a large tue profesSor was at Exeter, in Devonshire, at the time when he was
sum for the prizes and other expenses." I aimounced to « deliver a discourse on Vesuvius " in Italy ? Impossible !

In speaking of a Universal Catholic Exhibition there seems to be ! unless indeed like the celebrated Irish bird—which ought, by the way,
something of a pleonasm, such as would be committed in talking of a i to be sent into honourable retirement, along with Macaulay's New
Hibernian Irish row. A better denomination for his Holiness's pro- ; Zealander, Sir John Cutler's stockings, &c.—he has the power of
jected Show would perhaps be the International Popish Exhibition, or ! being in two places at once. Perhaps Professor Huxley will make
Romanist World's Fair. Of course, in this assemblage of ecclesiastical' a note of this singular uhenomenon, and mention it in his Presidential
art-treasures, there will be no end of images and of Church millinery j Address next year. Mr. Punch is glad to have this opportunity of

and upholstery. We may expect a considerable display of canonised
bones, and other relics or remains of revered mummies. A large
assortment of hair-shirts, and a variety of sweet things in scourges and
other instruments of discipline, will also probably be offered to the
inspection of the faithful. In respect of hair-shirts and the like
specialties of saintly toilettes, hagiology will very likely be associated
wgth entomology in certain forms.

■ The department corresponding to that of machinery in secular exhi-
bitions will perhaps include certain winking statues and pictures, or
pictures and statues which, as our domestics would say, " have a wunk."
Among the thaumaturgic objects and productions a prominent item
will surely be the phial containing the celebrated blood of St. Januarius,
which will liquefy to the confutation of heretics, being exhibited among
the sacerdotal machinery in motion. Possibly the Holy House of Loretto
will levitate itself, take another flight, and drop into a temporary
position amidst the other miraculous curiosities. The avoidance of
scandal will necessitate the omission of some medieeval and even Mer
illustrations, racks and thumbscrews to wit; stakes, chains, sanbennos,
samarras, and other appertenances, appliance0, and engines of the

congratulating the last named Professor, the Association, and the
Scientific World generally, on his election to the Chair of the Liverpool
Meeting in 1870.___

THE ANALOGUE OF THE OIDIUM.

A telegram from Lisbon may afford some gratification to the par-
tisans of compulsory total abstinence. It tells them that:—

" The ravages of the vine disease in the provinces are said to be great,
although much good has been done by the use of sulphur."

Are there not prizes proposed by certain anti-liquor Leagues for the
best essays in dispraise of intoxicating drinks ? If so, perhaps it would
answer some duffer's purpose to write a pamphlet calculated_to disgust
people with wine by suggesting the essential identity of the vine
disease with a human malady wherein sulphur is a specific.

The Coming Man."—A Waiter.