DOI issue:
October 23, 1869
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16884#0175
October 23 1SG9.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
« _—-—— —-
163
LAYARD IN THE LION'S MOUTH.
Rome, we learn from the newspaper correspondents, is looking as
lively as
" Black friars and white,
Red friars and grey "
can make it. Orlis defluit in urbe. Priests are converging from all
quarters. Every convent that can take in lodgers is brimming over.
Even lodgings, we are told, are going up. But we do not see how
any rusk of saintly men, vowed to pennilessness, can affect prices.
Interior with Dutch Boors Smoking, was the most common object to Whether these clerical visitors are all accommodated at the cost of
be met with in Holland. _ x their brethren, regular or secular, or have to find themselves, we know
T did not see the Rhine with a Murray or Badeker held persistently not Th(J rim ()f the superior ciergy has not yet set in with as
before, my eyes. . j 1 much severity as that of the lower orders. But next, month, we
1 did not, notice one Englishman who was more taciturn and exclu- are ^ wm gee Rome «flooded witll bishops "-about as disagree-
sive than a decent regard to the levelling circumstances ot travel | able a form of deluge ag can bfJ imagined< The bishops, at least,
rendered desirable. _ . are to be supported partly, if not entirely, " by voluntary contri-
I could not discover one Swiss girl with whom, as tar as appearance butions." The faithful of Martinique (we are told) have.already sent
went, her grandmother would not have borne comparison m comeliness j a quantitv of coffee . and a iarge gift of wine is on its way from France.
and youth. i There is the Jesuit astronomer, Father Secchi, with a mission, no
A MODEL TOURIST.
Dear Mr. Punch,
Everybody who goes abroad keeps some sort ot diary or
notes in which he chronicles whatever he has seen, done, or felt. L
put down in mine what, I did not see, did not do, did not feel. 1 ven-
ture to send you the result :—
I did not say on crossing the Channel, that " It was not the motion
of the vessel so much as seeing other people ill," that upset me.
I did not, find (as picture galleries had led me to expect) that " An
I did not once suffer from indigestion after eating veal. {Query. Can
it, be that there are highly-refined countries where veal is not the flesh
of tortured calf.)
I could not discover any similarity between "bceuf" and beet.
Gravy erat discrime n
doubt, to set the faithful right on such heresies as that the sun goes
round the earth ; and the parish priest of the Madeleine, bearer (says
report) of Eugenie's promise to drop in on his Infallibility on her way
from Constantinople. Happy Eugenie ! object of equally enthu-
siastic welcome from the chief servant of Mahound, and the only
T did not meet one party of Americans numbering less than thirteen, , legitimate successor of St. Peter! who comest not to the ground
and in which three families at least were not represented between the two stools of the Mosque of Omar and the Basilica ! in
1 did not see a single German student travelling without a shawl; whose pamre cross and crescent seem to shine side by side with equal
and not many with anything else. ~ . , brilliancy and becomingness; and on whom, doing her pretty pil-
I did not transact business with one Italian who did not ask as ; grimage to the Holv Places of infidel and true believer, princes wait,
much again as he intended to take, nor did I ever give him more than and nati(ms pour their bo j
a quarter ot that—which he took. . But, most, startling news of aU, Layard is in Rome ! He has been
1 did not meet one English clergyman who did not think it mcum- stayi af the Hotel d>4ngleterre i And where is the Hotej d'Angle-
bent on him to show his calling by some peculiarity m costume, nor terre ? w fhe yk Bocm dj Leme_thf} Lion>s moutL The head of
one member of any other profession-legal, military, or medical—who | the Q^ce ^ ^()rks [n th(J LioQ,a mouth j Doth ue wag his tail?
"1cv, ,' . T7i i j -j (.mL ! And if so, is it with exultation or wrath ? Is there no connection
I have not since my return to England once said, " They manage
these things better abroad."
I have not published, either in a magazine or separately, under a
highly alliterative title, a most ordinary account of most ordinary
adventures in a most ordinary holiday excursion. I remain, dear
Mr. Funch, Yours truly>
Nil Admirari.
A BLOW FOR THE BEGGARS.
Some months since Mr. Punch cried Bravo! to Blackheath for its
systematic efforts to stop begging in its streets. How far these en-
deavours have actually succeeded, may be surmised by glancing at the
following report:—
" During the last six mouths 7-50 eases of imposture have been detected :
1248 passing wayfarers have been helped along ; and 117 cases of actual local
distress have been effectually relieved."
This result has been achieved by a general agreement to abstain
from personal almsgiving, and to employ a public almoner to sift the
case of any one applying for relief. Charity may cover a multitude of
skins, and put needful bread and cheese into a multitude of stomachs.
But charity,_ to do a real service to the State, should not be impulsive
or selfish in its action, else impostors will be benefited and the generous
be duped. Let Anti-Beggar Companies be started all through London,
on the model of the one so well established at Blackheath, and there
soon will be an end to the pestilence of begging, which has far too long
infested London streets.
between Latard in the Roman Lion's mouth and the so-called
cleansing of the Serpentine—which is really the letting loose of
typhus, malaria, cholera, and poison upon the Metropolis ? We merely
note the coincidence, and ask where is Whalley, to improve it ?
BROOKS FOR EVER !
Hurrah for Bkooks ! Hurrah with plea
The noble Brooks has won East Cheshire.
Take down your muskets from their hooks,
And fire them off to glory Brooks.
Ring all the bells, explode maroons,
And bid your bands play joyous tunes,
For Brooks the brave has beaten Watkin,
And smashed him up like any potkin.
" But Brooks is Tory." Never mind.
" There's something else remains behind.
Why this rejoicing ? Pray who cares ? "
Punch ! Watkin raised our railway fares !
Therefore rejoice that Brooks and Nemesis
Have sent Sir Edward off the premises.
A CASE OF KIDNAPPING.
A nurse is now, unless ere now she has been taken up, lurking or
_ I wandering about with a child of seventeen months old, a little girl, the
daughter of Lieutenant-Colonel Hickie, stolen by her out of
Floreat! revenge for having had notice to leave her place, from that gentleman's
T ' „ - . . , . " house at Maidenhead. In a letter to the Times, inviting the public to
Last Saturday week might have been May instead of October, for ; look out after this abominable woman, Colonel Hickie says
everybody was asking, Have you seen 'The Academy?'" The! (inv___„ . , . ln , ™ , , ... t , „
;T,n»;r,r voL^^ \,i„ m,-„-r,.„'c , „i • / ir n , " 1 his woman cannot have travelled far. She took with her but a small
inquiry referred to Mr. Mirray s new venture, to which Mr. Punch smn of money. The distinctive mark on her faee> the mole on the right side
coraiaiiy wisties success. of her upper lipj the peculiar blue vein (a birth-mark) under the left eye of
our child, and the deep dimple on her chin, all lead us to hope for a speedy
(Advertisement.) discovery of our lost one, if we could only secure the eyes and the hearts that
PARISIAN JOURNALISM.—Wasted to join immediately, on the | would watch for her everywhere." .
± staff of one of the leading Parisian journals, a Young Gentleman in first- j Look sharp then, Bobby; look sharp out everybody, for a woman
rate practice with swords and rapiers, and a dead shot with the pistol. His with a mole on the right side of her upper lip, and for a child with a
r^^^fSr^i^-i f ,g ^P^TIi1 of the PaPer> t0 attend bine mark under the eye and a dimple on the chin. There is reason to
at the office trom \1 to 4 daily, to accept or send challenges. +1, * u u _ j a au i_ u l j. 1 1. u
*** There have been so many applications for this° important post that bellc^ that she has not murdered the baby, but if she cannot be
silence on the part of the Editor-in-chief must be considered a gracious I caught, or it recovered, she may put it into a way ot life wor-se than
negative. But the gentleman ultimately selected will of course be happy to ' death. therefore it any crime can be checked by capital punishment
meet, and give every possible satisfaction to the unsuccessful candidates. (more effectually than by milder correction, that of which this nurse,
All communications, whether in acceptation of challenges already sent, or ; Elizabeth Barry, is accused, child-stealing, is one that ought to
provocative, must be addressed to the Duelling Department. j receive its recompense from CalcraFT, and then what parent would
Vive la Liberie—de la Presse ! \ not envy him his office !J
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
« _—-—— —-
163
LAYARD IN THE LION'S MOUTH.
Rome, we learn from the newspaper correspondents, is looking as
lively as
" Black friars and white,
Red friars and grey "
can make it. Orlis defluit in urbe. Priests are converging from all
quarters. Every convent that can take in lodgers is brimming over.
Even lodgings, we are told, are going up. But we do not see how
any rusk of saintly men, vowed to pennilessness, can affect prices.
Interior with Dutch Boors Smoking, was the most common object to Whether these clerical visitors are all accommodated at the cost of
be met with in Holland. _ x their brethren, regular or secular, or have to find themselves, we know
T did not see the Rhine with a Murray or Badeker held persistently not Th(J rim ()f the superior ciergy has not yet set in with as
before, my eyes. . j 1 much severity as that of the lower orders. But next, month, we
1 did not, notice one Englishman who was more taciturn and exclu- are ^ wm gee Rome «flooded witll bishops "-about as disagree-
sive than a decent regard to the levelling circumstances ot travel | able a form of deluge ag can bfJ imagined< The bishops, at least,
rendered desirable. _ . are to be supported partly, if not entirely, " by voluntary contri-
I could not discover one Swiss girl with whom, as tar as appearance butions." The faithful of Martinique (we are told) have.already sent
went, her grandmother would not have borne comparison m comeliness j a quantitv of coffee . and a iarge gift of wine is on its way from France.
and youth. i There is the Jesuit astronomer, Father Secchi, with a mission, no
A MODEL TOURIST.
Dear Mr. Punch,
Everybody who goes abroad keeps some sort ot diary or
notes in which he chronicles whatever he has seen, done, or felt. L
put down in mine what, I did not see, did not do, did not feel. 1 ven-
ture to send you the result :—
I did not say on crossing the Channel, that " It was not the motion
of the vessel so much as seeing other people ill," that upset me.
I did not, find (as picture galleries had led me to expect) that " An
I did not once suffer from indigestion after eating veal. {Query. Can
it, be that there are highly-refined countries where veal is not the flesh
of tortured calf.)
I could not discover any similarity between "bceuf" and beet.
Gravy erat discrime n
doubt, to set the faithful right on such heresies as that the sun goes
round the earth ; and the parish priest of the Madeleine, bearer (says
report) of Eugenie's promise to drop in on his Infallibility on her way
from Constantinople. Happy Eugenie ! object of equally enthu-
siastic welcome from the chief servant of Mahound, and the only
T did not meet one party of Americans numbering less than thirteen, , legitimate successor of St. Peter! who comest not to the ground
and in which three families at least were not represented between the two stools of the Mosque of Omar and the Basilica ! in
1 did not see a single German student travelling without a shawl; whose pamre cross and crescent seem to shine side by side with equal
and not many with anything else. ~ . , brilliancy and becomingness; and on whom, doing her pretty pil-
I did not transact business with one Italian who did not ask as ; grimage to the Holv Places of infidel and true believer, princes wait,
much again as he intended to take, nor did I ever give him more than and nati(ms pour their bo j
a quarter ot that—which he took. . But, most, startling news of aU, Layard is in Rome ! He has been
1 did not meet one English clergyman who did not think it mcum- stayi af the Hotel d>4ngleterre i And where is the Hotej d'Angle-
bent on him to show his calling by some peculiarity m costume, nor terre ? w fhe yk Bocm dj Leme_thf} Lion>s moutL The head of
one member of any other profession-legal, military, or medical—who | the Q^ce ^ ^()rks [n th(J LioQ,a mouth j Doth ue wag his tail?
"1cv, ,' . T7i i j -j (.mL ! And if so, is it with exultation or wrath ? Is there no connection
I have not since my return to England once said, " They manage
these things better abroad."
I have not published, either in a magazine or separately, under a
highly alliterative title, a most ordinary account of most ordinary
adventures in a most ordinary holiday excursion. I remain, dear
Mr. Funch, Yours truly>
Nil Admirari.
A BLOW FOR THE BEGGARS.
Some months since Mr. Punch cried Bravo! to Blackheath for its
systematic efforts to stop begging in its streets. How far these en-
deavours have actually succeeded, may be surmised by glancing at the
following report:—
" During the last six mouths 7-50 eases of imposture have been detected :
1248 passing wayfarers have been helped along ; and 117 cases of actual local
distress have been effectually relieved."
This result has been achieved by a general agreement to abstain
from personal almsgiving, and to employ a public almoner to sift the
case of any one applying for relief. Charity may cover a multitude of
skins, and put needful bread and cheese into a multitude of stomachs.
But charity,_ to do a real service to the State, should not be impulsive
or selfish in its action, else impostors will be benefited and the generous
be duped. Let Anti-Beggar Companies be started all through London,
on the model of the one so well established at Blackheath, and there
soon will be an end to the pestilence of begging, which has far too long
infested London streets.
between Latard in the Roman Lion's mouth and the so-called
cleansing of the Serpentine—which is really the letting loose of
typhus, malaria, cholera, and poison upon the Metropolis ? We merely
note the coincidence, and ask where is Whalley, to improve it ?
BROOKS FOR EVER !
Hurrah for Bkooks ! Hurrah with plea
The noble Brooks has won East Cheshire.
Take down your muskets from their hooks,
And fire them off to glory Brooks.
Ring all the bells, explode maroons,
And bid your bands play joyous tunes,
For Brooks the brave has beaten Watkin,
And smashed him up like any potkin.
" But Brooks is Tory." Never mind.
" There's something else remains behind.
Why this rejoicing ? Pray who cares ? "
Punch ! Watkin raised our railway fares !
Therefore rejoice that Brooks and Nemesis
Have sent Sir Edward off the premises.
A CASE OF KIDNAPPING.
A nurse is now, unless ere now she has been taken up, lurking or
_ I wandering about with a child of seventeen months old, a little girl, the
daughter of Lieutenant-Colonel Hickie, stolen by her out of
Floreat! revenge for having had notice to leave her place, from that gentleman's
T ' „ - . . , . " house at Maidenhead. In a letter to the Times, inviting the public to
Last Saturday week might have been May instead of October, for ; look out after this abominable woman, Colonel Hickie says
everybody was asking, Have you seen 'The Academy?'" The! (inv___„ . , . ln , ™ , , ... t , „
;T,n»;r,r voL^^ \,i„ m,-„-r,.„'c , „i • / ir n , " 1 his woman cannot have travelled far. She took with her but a small
inquiry referred to Mr. Mirray s new venture, to which Mr. Punch smn of money. The distinctive mark on her faee> the mole on the right side
coraiaiiy wisties success. of her upper lipj the peculiar blue vein (a birth-mark) under the left eye of
our child, and the deep dimple on her chin, all lead us to hope for a speedy
(Advertisement.) discovery of our lost one, if we could only secure the eyes and the hearts that
PARISIAN JOURNALISM.—Wasted to join immediately, on the | would watch for her everywhere." .
± staff of one of the leading Parisian journals, a Young Gentleman in first- j Look sharp then, Bobby; look sharp out everybody, for a woman
rate practice with swords and rapiers, and a dead shot with the pistol. His with a mole on the right side of her upper lip, and for a child with a
r^^^fSr^i^-i f ,g ^P^TIi1 of the PaPer> t0 attend bine mark under the eye and a dimple on the chin. There is reason to
at the office trom \1 to 4 daily, to accept or send challenges. +1, * u u _ j a au i_ u l j. 1 1. u
*** There have been so many applications for this° important post that bellc^ that she has not murdered the baby, but if she cannot be
silence on the part of the Editor-in-chief must be considered a gracious I caught, or it recovered, she may put it into a way ot life wor-se than
negative. But the gentleman ultimately selected will of course be happy to ' death. therefore it any crime can be checked by capital punishment
meet, and give every possible satisfaction to the unsuccessful candidates. (more effectually than by milder correction, that of which this nurse,
All communications, whether in acceptation of challenges already sent, or ; Elizabeth Barry, is accused, child-stealing, is one that ought to
provocative, must be addressed to the Duelling Department. j receive its recompense from CalcraFT, and then what parent would
Vive la Liberie—de la Presse ! \ not envy him his office !J