Punch: Punch (57.1869)

174

[October 30, 1869.

"PREVENTION'S BETTER THAN CURE."

Jeames {excitedly). " Here—Here—Here's the Shilltn' ! Quick—Quick—Off with you ! "
German Impostor (affecting concern). " Dere is some vun III ? "

Jeames. " Well, not just tet ! But there precious soon will be, if you don't Knock Off ! "

STAMBOUL SERENADERS.

Of course the following statement of a letter-writer from Constanti-
nople in the Gironde is too bad to be true :—

" The 20,000,000 fr., borrowed by the Sultan to receive the Empress
Eugenie, appear likely to be quite insufficient, and the Turkish Government
has just decided that a deduction of sixteen per cent, shall be made from the
salaries of all functionaries. Theee men will no doubt be filled with joy at the
public festivals."

As if the Sultan could have been so mean as to mulct public
servants of their wages in order to make a display of Oriental magnifi-
cence at their cost! The fireworks which he burnt in honour of the
Empress of the French, and all the rest of the flare-up wherewith
he glorified Her Imperial Majesty, were honestly paid for out of
his own treasury; otherwise by a shabby ostentation of boundless
wealth, he would certainly have subjected that generous and gracious
lady to a disgusting bore. As sure as kismet, bands of the amerced
functionaries would have assembled nightly under the windows of the
palace that was her abode, and annoyed under the pretence of enter-
taining her with the undignified solicitation forming the burden of
some such a scandalous appeal as the following specimen of a dis-
graceful

SERENADE.

Sleep, Lady, lulled with tuneful cheers,
Whence our unbounded joy appears.
Ah, mayst thou live a thousand years1

And may we live to see.
Our wages, for thy glory spent,
We do not in the least lament,
For we'r© aware 'tis thine intent
No losers we shall be.
Hush! Hish! Heesh!
Bucksheesh, bucksheesii, backsheesh!
Hemember us whose salaries paid sacrifice to thee.

Sleep, Lady ! be thy slumbers blest;
Our Padishah's imperial guest,
O sweetest, brightest, loveliest!

O Beauty's fairest flower!
But, to repose ere thou dost go,
Thy large munificence bestow,
Thy bounty rain on us below,
At this auspicious hour.
Hush! Hish! Heesh!
Bucksheesh, bucksheesh, bucksheesh!
Piastres from thy casement upon fleeced officials shower.

The Turks are a sober people, but confiscation, like the income-tax,
drives the wise man mad, and would be enough to urge even the
gravest of Moslems to demean themselves with grotesque and base im-
portunity.

Strange Revelations.

What horrible traffic goes on every|day in the very heart of London,
unsuspected, probably, by thousands of those who live in the midst of
it! What are we to think of this announcement in an apparently
respectable shop window, not a hundred miles from Regent Street,
passed constantly by the police—"Hawkers, Emigrants, Schools, &c,
at Wholesale Prices " ?

Who can say what that significant " &c." may not hide ?

Wonders Never Cease.

The ingenuity of modern invention appears to be boundless. Lovers
of walnuts and filberts will be glad to hear that in seasons of scarcity
they are not likely to be deprived of these favourite additions to the
dessert-table, there now being a "nut-making machine!" A friend of
ours wishes some one would bring out a machine for peeling walnuts.
Perhaps the Americans will see to this for him.