DOI issue:
July 9, 1870
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16886#0022
12
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON" CHARIVARI.
men to preach better sermons; and if the very proper answer be made
that you cannot expect 20,000 gentlemen to be all clever, the replica-
tion should be, that we do not, but that as most clergymen can read,
those who are not gifted with the art of composition may desirably
select discourses from the vast treasury to be found in the works of
older divines. "What" Sir Roger de Coyerley's chaplain "did,
aud Addtson approved, cannot be wron^."
Then did the Government get, not a victory, but a decided beating.
This was mainly drawn down upon them by Mr. Grant Duff, who,
in resisting a motion by Colonel Sykes for further investigation into
an Indian military grievance, spoke in an unkind and unjust manner
about the officers who had lost their regiments in the mutiny. The
House was indignant, and Mr. Gladstone sought to soften down its
anger, but on division it was decided hv 113 to 92,, majority against
Ministers, 21, that the Queen should be addressed on the subject.
is especially prized by the native Indians; and Lord Westbury
pointed out the in judiciousness of neglecting them. The rich Indian
whose well-tutored mind sends him to his Queen's home tribunal for
justice, deserves all consideration. The Lord Chancellor promised
a Bill to rectify matters.
Like Debrett, the Ecclesiastical Titles Bill is " Under the Revision
and Correction of the Nobility," and Punch hopes that they will attend
to the above titles as carefully as they do to the record of their own
in the said Golden Book.
Mr. Stansfeld explained that high-class costs had been allowed in
the case of the poor little Welsh Easting Girl, because the public mind
had been excited, and high-class lawyers had been employed. A fair
answer; but ought not the best kind of law to be used in all cases,
even if it be the dearest? Sheridan gave a man a bad shilling for
conveying him in a bad coach ; but this is not a precedent for Govern-
Mr. Grant Duff is an exceptionally clever man, but he made this 1 ments.
terrible blunder by not being clever enough to manifest a feeling! Is it needful to say that Education " brought up " the rear of the
which we have no doubt he possesses. Englishmen are not Gushers,
but they resent the semblance of heartlessness.
Wednesday. The Commons sat in Committee on a most valuable and
week's history? We might say, with Mr. Robertson's kind permis-
sion (unasked) that School and M.P. are having a tremendous simul-
taneous run. And, " as we have introduced the subject," we add that
the latter play is stuck as full of smart things as a tipsy cake is of
important Bi , one for regulating the doings of Lite Assurance Com- , , *L • . • , -fi; +l„ v „„„„„ /„„a ;r h a
• t 4i r *i i u„i- it. j?„„ a„ \„~„a rt.t n,„ almonds—and it is strictly within the Essence (and it it weren t, do
names. In the course o the debate, it was declared that t ie word ; • , u u o\ ± a i. a . • it ■ ( ?
i^ZU ™„t k„ i»Z»A wi,„ *L« "na^» tn M, *w** y°u think we should care?) to say that there is the spirit of true
Actuary cannot he defined. Who says "cannot" to Mr. Punch?
The name is derived from the Latin actuarius, which simply means
qui acta describit veloci stylo, eaque descripla deinde recitat. Put that
into the Bill, and leave the Judges to interpret it. If you want to
know where Mr. Punch found the description, he will tell you, for he
scorns small secresy. In Dr. Adam: Littleton's "Latine Dic-
tionary" (1703), which he bought in Tottenham Court Road for two
and sixpence, and a little boy carried home for twopence—also the
child had a cup of tea and some bread-and-butter. Is there anything
else that the Many-Headed would like to know? ":Tis fit the Many-
Headed know all," as Mr. Tennyson says, with another word which
Mr. Punch omits, he being of excessive politeness.
Mr. Rylands (Liberal), formerly Mayor of, and now Member for
Warrington, moved the Second Reading of a Bill for closing Public
Houses on Sunday. Mr. Birley (Conservative Member for Man-
chester) seconded. Mr. Alderman Lawrence opposed, until the
hour of adjournment. This Bill shall not pass. Mr. Punch hates,
detests, execrates, and abominates drunkenness, and there you have
his faith in monosyllable, dissyllable, trisyllable, and quatersyllable,
and he would punish an offence committed in liquor (or against liquor,
comedy in Mrs. Bancroft's reason for wishing to see her lover in Par-
liament. " I should so like to hear you Called to Order."
POACHED EGGS AND THEIR POACHERS.
The Agricultural Journal, under the heading of " An Egsc Poacher,"
narrates an exploit of a gamekeeper who, in the neighbourhood of
Camborne, Cornwall, after several ineffectual attempts to catch a
harrier hawk, too cunning ever to come within shot, by means of a gin
baited first with a rabbit, then with a bird, and next with a weasel,
finally succeeded in trapping it with the bait of an adder, which he had
killed, coiled up as though it were living. Aha! aud so the egg-
poacher was caught at last, thinks Mr. Benjamin Bowbell. Not
exactly so, Benjamin ; the egg-poacher was the mere vermin used for
a bait, and not the reputed vermin, but really in a great measure useful
creature which it allured, and whereby it would have been killed and
eaten if alive. It is a pity that gamekeepers are generally actuated by
a zeal which is not at all according to knowledge, but is, on the con-
ye adulterating fiends) with a double punishment. But nobody, with I trary, according to ignorance, the grossest, of natural history. Beneath
Mr. Punch's leave, shall prevent thirsty men, women, and children,
from getting a drink of betr in the course of a hot Sunday walk.
Mr. -Rylands, Mr. Rylands,
Heaven sends moisture to the dry lands,
Though the day bears scarlet letter ;
Mr. Birley, Mr. Birley,
You must get up precious early
Ere Punch owns your plan a better.
No, Gentlemen. You mean so exceeding well, and there is so much to
be said about British drunkenness, and what it produces, that it is not
pleasant to fight you for the key of the public-house; but fight we
must, if you want to lock out decent folks because others abuse the
gifts of Nature. Punch bears you no malice, but get your hands up, for
this Bill shall not pass.
Thursday. The Lords considered a Bill for amending the mode in
which Solicitors are paid for conveyancing business. This reform,
come when it may, will be due to Mr. Punch, who, some years ago,
exposed the vices of the existing system (which is hard upon the high-
minded and artistic conveyancer) in so masterly a way by an illustra-
tion of its working in the case of a Work-Table, that the Profession
would have sent him a Testimonial, but that (he supposes) they thought
he might not like it. He respects their scruples, but they may send it
now—he promises not to be offended, if the article be handsome
enough. A Medical Act Amendment Bill also made progress. It
gives power to the Medical Council to declare a Quack " infamous "
and " disgraceful," which is well; but it should include a clause for
flogging him at a cart's tail if he dares to bring an action against a
newspaper for publishing the fact that he has been branded on his
dirty forehead. There are scores of Quacks whom the journals would
scarify next week, but for the state of the law, which gives the most
despicable creature the power to put the most respectable newspaper
to a heavy expense. Let it be enacted that no action shall lie for any
publication of the Council's declaration, or for any comments there-
upon. Will the Lord Salisbury please see to this when the report
comes up ?
Education again, till nearly two in the morning.
Friday. Lord Westbury called the attention of the Lords to the
choked-up state of the Judicial Committee, the Grand Court of Einal
Appeal for the Empire. The other day there were 370 appeals waiting
to be heard, and 150 new ones are coming from Bengal. This Court
its influence they shoot down, under the name of a hawk, every one of
the Falconidce without mercy and without discrimination. Harriers
and buzzards live chiefly on mice and reptiles, and the same may be
said of the kestrel, which many a clown, no better than a cockney,
confounds with the sparrowhawk. They are very beautiful birds, and
not only ornamental but useful, especially the harrier hawk that
destroys such egg-poachers as adders. When a gamekeeper shoots
a bird like this he makes much the same mistake as that of shooting
at the pigeon and killing the crow, or rather shooting at the crow and
killing the pigeon. Even sparrowhawks, and other really destructive
birds of prey, should be kept under, but not exterminated. If they
are of no good in a state of nature, of what are they in the British
Museum ?
Penny readings have become popular institutions in the rural dis-
tricts. Could not some of the resident gentlefolks, by way of a change
from reciting, for the instruction and entertainment of rustic audiences
the poem of the Chameleon, for example, or the fable of the Hare and
the Tortoise, occasionally enlighten their minds by a familiar account of
the various birds and other animals, with whose sight they are familiar,
but about whose habits and manners the majority of them know nothing,
and entertain a variety of absurd persuasions ? The idea of teaching-
your gamekeeper anything on the subject of eggs ought to be as absurd
as that of instructing your grandmother in a method of eating them ;
and at any rate gamekeepers might be expected to know all about
poached eggs ; but few of them probably are aware that adders poach
them, and that in killing a harrier hawk they are destroying their own
ally against egg-poachers.
What Says Prim ?
The Ex-Queen of Spain suggests to the Spaniards a King called
Alfonso. As Mr. Dickens wrote, " If ever there was an Alfonso
who carried in his face plain Bill " (dynastically speaking) this is the
young gentleman.
suggestion for spain.
Spain wants a King, lets Marshal Prim
Rule her, and might as well crown him.
Illustration for a Copy-Book.—Procrastination picking /sWi
icket.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON" CHARIVARI.
men to preach better sermons; and if the very proper answer be made
that you cannot expect 20,000 gentlemen to be all clever, the replica-
tion should be, that we do not, but that as most clergymen can read,
those who are not gifted with the art of composition may desirably
select discourses from the vast treasury to be found in the works of
older divines. "What" Sir Roger de Coyerley's chaplain "did,
aud Addtson approved, cannot be wron^."
Then did the Government get, not a victory, but a decided beating.
This was mainly drawn down upon them by Mr. Grant Duff, who,
in resisting a motion by Colonel Sykes for further investigation into
an Indian military grievance, spoke in an unkind and unjust manner
about the officers who had lost their regiments in the mutiny. The
House was indignant, and Mr. Gladstone sought to soften down its
anger, but on division it was decided hv 113 to 92,, majority against
Ministers, 21, that the Queen should be addressed on the subject.
is especially prized by the native Indians; and Lord Westbury
pointed out the in judiciousness of neglecting them. The rich Indian
whose well-tutored mind sends him to his Queen's home tribunal for
justice, deserves all consideration. The Lord Chancellor promised
a Bill to rectify matters.
Like Debrett, the Ecclesiastical Titles Bill is " Under the Revision
and Correction of the Nobility," and Punch hopes that they will attend
to the above titles as carefully as they do to the record of their own
in the said Golden Book.
Mr. Stansfeld explained that high-class costs had been allowed in
the case of the poor little Welsh Easting Girl, because the public mind
had been excited, and high-class lawyers had been employed. A fair
answer; but ought not the best kind of law to be used in all cases,
even if it be the dearest? Sheridan gave a man a bad shilling for
conveying him in a bad coach ; but this is not a precedent for Govern-
Mr. Grant Duff is an exceptionally clever man, but he made this 1 ments.
terrible blunder by not being clever enough to manifest a feeling! Is it needful to say that Education " brought up " the rear of the
which we have no doubt he possesses. Englishmen are not Gushers,
but they resent the semblance of heartlessness.
Wednesday. The Commons sat in Committee on a most valuable and
week's history? We might say, with Mr. Robertson's kind permis-
sion (unasked) that School and M.P. are having a tremendous simul-
taneous run. And, " as we have introduced the subject," we add that
the latter play is stuck as full of smart things as a tipsy cake is of
important Bi , one for regulating the doings of Lite Assurance Com- , , *L • . • , -fi; +l„ v „„„„„ /„„a ;r h a
• t 4i r *i i u„i- it. j?„„ a„ \„~„a rt.t n,„ almonds—and it is strictly within the Essence (and it it weren t, do
names. In the course o the debate, it was declared that t ie word ; • , u u o\ ± a i. a . • it ■ ( ?
i^ZU ™„t k„ i»Z»A wi,„ *L« "na^» tn M, *w** y°u think we should care?) to say that there is the spirit of true
Actuary cannot he defined. Who says "cannot" to Mr. Punch?
The name is derived from the Latin actuarius, which simply means
qui acta describit veloci stylo, eaque descripla deinde recitat. Put that
into the Bill, and leave the Judges to interpret it. If you want to
know where Mr. Punch found the description, he will tell you, for he
scorns small secresy. In Dr. Adam: Littleton's "Latine Dic-
tionary" (1703), which he bought in Tottenham Court Road for two
and sixpence, and a little boy carried home for twopence—also the
child had a cup of tea and some bread-and-butter. Is there anything
else that the Many-Headed would like to know? ":Tis fit the Many-
Headed know all," as Mr. Tennyson says, with another word which
Mr. Punch omits, he being of excessive politeness.
Mr. Rylands (Liberal), formerly Mayor of, and now Member for
Warrington, moved the Second Reading of a Bill for closing Public
Houses on Sunday. Mr. Birley (Conservative Member for Man-
chester) seconded. Mr. Alderman Lawrence opposed, until the
hour of adjournment. This Bill shall not pass. Mr. Punch hates,
detests, execrates, and abominates drunkenness, and there you have
his faith in monosyllable, dissyllable, trisyllable, and quatersyllable,
and he would punish an offence committed in liquor (or against liquor,
comedy in Mrs. Bancroft's reason for wishing to see her lover in Par-
liament. " I should so like to hear you Called to Order."
POACHED EGGS AND THEIR POACHERS.
The Agricultural Journal, under the heading of " An Egsc Poacher,"
narrates an exploit of a gamekeeper who, in the neighbourhood of
Camborne, Cornwall, after several ineffectual attempts to catch a
harrier hawk, too cunning ever to come within shot, by means of a gin
baited first with a rabbit, then with a bird, and next with a weasel,
finally succeeded in trapping it with the bait of an adder, which he had
killed, coiled up as though it were living. Aha! aud so the egg-
poacher was caught at last, thinks Mr. Benjamin Bowbell. Not
exactly so, Benjamin ; the egg-poacher was the mere vermin used for
a bait, and not the reputed vermin, but really in a great measure useful
creature which it allured, and whereby it would have been killed and
eaten if alive. It is a pity that gamekeepers are generally actuated by
a zeal which is not at all according to knowledge, but is, on the con-
ye adulterating fiends) with a double punishment. But nobody, with I trary, according to ignorance, the grossest, of natural history. Beneath
Mr. Punch's leave, shall prevent thirsty men, women, and children,
from getting a drink of betr in the course of a hot Sunday walk.
Mr. -Rylands, Mr. Rylands,
Heaven sends moisture to the dry lands,
Though the day bears scarlet letter ;
Mr. Birley, Mr. Birley,
You must get up precious early
Ere Punch owns your plan a better.
No, Gentlemen. You mean so exceeding well, and there is so much to
be said about British drunkenness, and what it produces, that it is not
pleasant to fight you for the key of the public-house; but fight we
must, if you want to lock out decent folks because others abuse the
gifts of Nature. Punch bears you no malice, but get your hands up, for
this Bill shall not pass.
Thursday. The Lords considered a Bill for amending the mode in
which Solicitors are paid for conveyancing business. This reform,
come when it may, will be due to Mr. Punch, who, some years ago,
exposed the vices of the existing system (which is hard upon the high-
minded and artistic conveyancer) in so masterly a way by an illustra-
tion of its working in the case of a Work-Table, that the Profession
would have sent him a Testimonial, but that (he supposes) they thought
he might not like it. He respects their scruples, but they may send it
now—he promises not to be offended, if the article be handsome
enough. A Medical Act Amendment Bill also made progress. It
gives power to the Medical Council to declare a Quack " infamous "
and " disgraceful," which is well; but it should include a clause for
flogging him at a cart's tail if he dares to bring an action against a
newspaper for publishing the fact that he has been branded on his
dirty forehead. There are scores of Quacks whom the journals would
scarify next week, but for the state of the law, which gives the most
despicable creature the power to put the most respectable newspaper
to a heavy expense. Let it be enacted that no action shall lie for any
publication of the Council's declaration, or for any comments there-
upon. Will the Lord Salisbury please see to this when the report
comes up ?
Education again, till nearly two in the morning.
Friday. Lord Westbury called the attention of the Lords to the
choked-up state of the Judicial Committee, the Grand Court of Einal
Appeal for the Empire. The other day there were 370 appeals waiting
to be heard, and 150 new ones are coming from Bengal. This Court
its influence they shoot down, under the name of a hawk, every one of
the Falconidce without mercy and without discrimination. Harriers
and buzzards live chiefly on mice and reptiles, and the same may be
said of the kestrel, which many a clown, no better than a cockney,
confounds with the sparrowhawk. They are very beautiful birds, and
not only ornamental but useful, especially the harrier hawk that
destroys such egg-poachers as adders. When a gamekeeper shoots
a bird like this he makes much the same mistake as that of shooting
at the pigeon and killing the crow, or rather shooting at the crow and
killing the pigeon. Even sparrowhawks, and other really destructive
birds of prey, should be kept under, but not exterminated. If they
are of no good in a state of nature, of what are they in the British
Museum ?
Penny readings have become popular institutions in the rural dis-
tricts. Could not some of the resident gentlefolks, by way of a change
from reciting, for the instruction and entertainment of rustic audiences
the poem of the Chameleon, for example, or the fable of the Hare and
the Tortoise, occasionally enlighten their minds by a familiar account of
the various birds and other animals, with whose sight they are familiar,
but about whose habits and manners the majority of them know nothing,
and entertain a variety of absurd persuasions ? The idea of teaching-
your gamekeeper anything on the subject of eggs ought to be as absurd
as that of instructing your grandmother in a method of eating them ;
and at any rate gamekeepers might be expected to know all about
poached eggs ; but few of them probably are aware that adders poach
them, and that in killing a harrier hawk they are destroying their own
ally against egg-poachers.
What Says Prim ?
The Ex-Queen of Spain suggests to the Spaniards a King called
Alfonso. As Mr. Dickens wrote, " If ever there was an Alfonso
who carried in his face plain Bill " (dynastically speaking) this is the
young gentleman.
suggestion for spain.
Spain wants a King, lets Marshal Prim
Rule her, and might as well crown him.
Illustration for a Copy-Book.—Procrastination picking /sWi
icket.