Punch (59.1870)

THE PLEASURES OF IMAGINATION.

frantic design, executed in a dream during the recent oppressive heat

THE CLOD AND THE CABLE.

Agriculturist.

In railways we finds ourzelves ridun

As fast nigh, as bow arrer shoots,
But Ziunce still faster is stridun,

To zay so, in thousand league boots.
In. short varty minnuts a girdle,

As thof a fine thing to contrive,
Puck said as he'd put round the wordle ?

You brags you can do ut in five.

Electrical communicaaishun

Around all this globe now extends;
We zoon shall exchange converzaaishun

At Botany Bay wi' our friends,
As quick, purty nigh, as we'm able

Wi' voice droo a mouth-pipe to shout,
By manes o' the Telegraph cable;

That is if we plaze to fark out.

I mind as it thundered and lightened,

In youth when a smock frock I wore,
How people was used to be frightened

Along o' the vlash and the rhoar.
What caused ut they questioned wi' wonder,

When I wus a chubby-veaced chap ;
But now we hears lightnun and thunder

Is but a gurt spark and loud snap.

Now lightnun you makes, and can send ut

News bearun so fur at a shock,
That, rachun the wire's 'tother end, ut

Is future news there by the clock.
Magishuns showed zome things to Pharaoh

As caused the beholders to stare,
But never a one in Grand Cairo

A. wonder did work like that there.

But Ziunce and Zorcery together

So far and no farder can goo.
No wizard can alter the weather,

That's more nor your chemist can do.
In drought like this here all reliance

On wisdom and uollidge is vain.
Saint Swithun I '11 trust afore Ziunce.

Yaa, Ziunce can't gie us no rain.

Instructor.

True, Farmer; the fall of a shower

Is not under human command ;
But 'tis in a husbandman's power

Some tanks to construct on his land.
And then he will have, in a season

Of drought, no occasion to howl.
" Make hay in fine weather," says Reason,

" And store up your rainfall in foul."

Theory and Practice.

A contemporary speaks of " the time-honoured theory that races
are indicated by the colour of the hair." Surely this is not so much a
theory as an actual fact. Look at men returning from A.scot or the
Derby, with their hair completely changed in colour by the dust. This
indicates quite plainly their presence at the races, and a theorist need
only speculate whether they return the better for the trip.

A Jewel of a Woman.

Mrs. Malaprop visited the South Kensington Museum on Saturday
last, and was received by the policeman in attendance. On her return
home she rather puzzled the family circle by speaking of the " conun-
drums " she had seen in one of the galleries. As it was found, on
inquiry, that she had been looking at the Townshend gems, it is sup-
posed she meant the *' corundums" in that collection.