DOI Heft:
July 9, 1870
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16886#0027
July 9, 1870.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
17
THE BOOMPJE PAPERS.
Bund we elected Commodore, Commander-ia-Chief, and President of
the Travelling Society, whose object was to be the pioneer of civilisa-
tion to Dutchland. He wanted to bring his violoncello with him, bat
this was objected to by the entire party. There were still a few pre-
liminaries to be settled. As to expenses, that is a matter generally
ignored as " mere detail" on Boompje principles.
"Hallo!" says Gooch, "Who talks Dutch?" He generally pre-
faces a question or an observation with " Hallo."
It was explained to him, by the Secretary, that Hollanders generally
talked Dutch.
"No, no," says he; "look here, you i'ellars" (another formula with
aim), " I mean which of you talks it. I don't."
No one did. Maullie thought it wasn't necessary. The Secretary
thought it was; but suggested that French would do, to a certain
extent.
Bond asked if he was Commander-in-Chief or not ? Yes, lie was.
"Very well, then," says he, " we'll have a Courier."
It was carelessly objected that this course might be expensive.
It was statistically proved by Bund that it couldn't be anything of
the sort. His answer was, simply, "No, not a bit of it."
It was mildly opposed by the Secretary ; while Gooch, whose pro-
clivities are swellish, but whose means are limited, halted between two
opinions. Boompje, however, prevailed.
Maullie said that he'd once travelled with a Courier, and the plan
was delightfully luxurious. He had just sold his picture, as I have
already hinted, for a sum which would have purchased a wilderness of
Couriers. (Boompje adaptation of Shylock.)
Bund offers to be Paymaster-General, and settle with everyone at
the end of the time.
The Secretary and Gooch immediately agree to this plan, foreseeing
the convenience of a distant settlement, and place themselves entirely
in Bund's hands.
Maullie yields, on condition that he is to map out what we ought
to see.
Bund knows a Courier, and the thing is done.
Our reasons for going to Holland may be individually stated thus :—
Bund goes because he's seen the picture galleries once, and for-
gotten all about them.
Maullie, because he knows all the pictures by heart, but has never
seen them.
Gooch, because he has never heard of or seen the pictures.
The Secretary, because he has never seen the pictures, but heard of
some of them vaguely.
The Courier, because he's taken.
Coincidence which I notice at Rotterdam after the Boompje title
has been adopted, viz., that our Courier's name is Jomp, pronounced
Jump; and, therefore, the very name for a leader and guide of the
siderable trouble at first, as we now find he has taken all the tickets
via his own route) and asking him if we go near Lille.
Jomp, when questioned, always gives one the idea of having been
called out of bed at short notice, and dressed himself in a hurry. He
collects his scattered senses by passing his hand forwards and backwards
over his head several times, and murmuring something, partially unin-
telligible, still in his character of a man not quite awake.
" Lille." he is understood to murmur vaguely, " veil—um—um."
It should be mentioned that Jomp is, it is supposed, of Swiss origin,
and possesses such a knowledge of languages as is enough to render
him generally unintelligible in any particular tongue.
" Lille," he replies, considering, " Lille—veil—um-um-um ! Oh
ves ! "—this he gives in the tone of a permission—" Oh yes, you can go
by Lille," wherewith he shrugs his shoulders, as if to give us to under-
stand that such a detour will put the train to considerable trouble, not
to mention the entire derangement of his own plans.
"Yes." But Bund puts it in a barrister-like style. "Do we go
there or do we not.'"'
" Veil," says Ma. Jomp, after polishing his head slowly, preparatory
to taking his cap in both hands, and holding it behind him, " Veil—
you can go by Lille—oh yes—de train pass true dere." Then he adds
suddenly, as an afterthought, which is to take us by surprise, " if you
go that vay."
It is finally decided that we won't stop at Lille. And the route is
mapped out to the satisfaction of all parties.
Bund says confidentially to the "Secretary, that he should like to
have got down to Milan, or spent the time in Switzerland, instead of
Holland.
Maullie takes an early opportunity (when we subsequently come
up with him at Antwerp) of informing me that he gives way to the
majority, but for his part he should like to have made Dort his chief
place, and stopped there. Maullie's one idea is to go to Dort. Bund,
who is always ready with an argument from Murray, points out that
his authority says, " There is nothing to detain the traveller at Dort."
Maullie says that it is only true after you've seen everything. He
is sure that Dort is the most interesting place in Holland. Jomp says,
" Oh yes, um—um—um, you can stop at Dortrecht—um—um." Then,
as an afterthought, " if de steamer go dere." On the whole, we keep
Dort in reserve for Maullie, if he won't go on without it. First
Boompje sonnet by Maullie :—
To judge by report,
[ always thought
That we ought
To stop at Dort.
Bund thinks it stupid! Gooch says that Dort doesn't rhyme to
ought; and Maullie likes it himself, and reads it to me privately.
Gooch hopes [before we start] that we shall push on to Brussels,
and " see some fun." No one knows exactly what he means, except,
Yes," cries Gooch, as we were carrying it off jauntily on the quays
of Rotterdam, with hearts both light and merry (with which " hey
down derry" is to rhyme in The Miller and his Men, vide opening
chorus), "here we are regularly out on the spree."
"No," returns Professor Maullie, sweetly rebuking his junior,
" do not say ' on the spree ;1 say that we are out on the Boompje."
START OF THE BOOMPJES—LILLE—GHENT—THE BOOMPJE
HATS.
Maullie is to meet us at Antwerp, which we are to pass through on
our road to Rotterdam, but where we do not wish to stop, as three
of the party " know it by heart." Maullie being of an independent
Boompje nature, sets off by himself.
From the moment of our concluding arrangements with Jomp, the
Courier, all trouble is supposed to be taken off our hands. We merely
tell Jomp where we want to go to, Jomp knows the place, of course,
intimately, and he could find the way there blindfold. So Jomp
arranges our route. We propose, Jomp disposes. Jomp gets all the
necessary tickets, and we are to be oblivious of everything until we
find ourselves at our first halting place, Ghent.
The only inconvenience about this plan, we find, is that we change
our minds, and Jomp doesn't. We decide that we ought to go via
Antwerp first. Then having decided that, we decide again that
Antwerp oughtn't to be taken at all, but begin with Bruges.
Gooch exclaims, " Look here ! I say! Why not stop at Lille for a
night?"
No one knows exactly why not, but it being discovered that there's
nothing to be done at Lille at night, " except go to bed, that's all,"
says Jomp, disparagingly.the proposal is dismissed as unworthy of notice,
and Gooch says, " Hang it: he thinks you might listen to some of his
suggestions." As this looks like breaking up the party before it starts,
we compromise by calling in Jomp (which would have saved us con-
Boompjes ' ' apparently Jomp, who says, "Oh, yes—um—um, you can do someting
On we go to Holland, via France and Belgium; and back again, vial at Brussels," which is the fullest information he can offer us on the
Belgium and France. Boompje ! subject.
We start.
A broiling hot day. Gooch thinks that there won't be a ripple on
the water in crossing.
Bund is of opinion, having had something to do with nautical affairs
in his time, that it may be " blowing freshish outside." The men-
tion of "outside" exercises an unpleasant influence over Gooch.
He stations himself as near the centre as possible, and won't rise from
his seat
Mr. Jomp, with admirable forethought, places the coats and bags
on our seats, which he secures for us several minutes before the boat
starts, in such a position that we get the sun in our eyes, the blacks
from the chimney, and the heavy moisture from the steam valve pipe.
On being remonstrated with by Bund, who points out to him (Bund
once had a thirty-ton yacht off Erith, which he thought resembled the
French coast without the nuisance of having to learn a foreign
language) that when the wind is SS. by EE., and the sun is at meridian,
also when a boat is steering from SE. by N W. then, if you want to keep
out of the sun, you must get into the shade, Jomp replies, with an
admirable readiness, which shows him equal to auy emergency.
" Veil, yes—um-um-you can move the things."
Gooch, finding that there is no chance of being inconvenienced by
the voyage, now becomes hilarious, and ventures upon pale ale and a
cigar. He regales us with anecdotes of himself in various towns of
Europe, chiefly Boulogne and Paris. He begins to air his French, and
points out two or three people on board who he assures us, on his own
experience, are " regular foreigners," and who turn out to be com-
mercial travellers from Liverpool. Boompje !
At Calais he rejoices in being on the shores of France once more—
la belle France he exclaims—as if he'd been born or brought up there.
He exhibits the soldiers, the douaniers, and the French people to us
generally with this preface, " Look here, you won't see this sort of
thing in England, you know. We can't do that" a summing up
generally in depreciation of his own country.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
17
THE BOOMPJE PAPERS.
Bund we elected Commodore, Commander-ia-Chief, and President of
the Travelling Society, whose object was to be the pioneer of civilisa-
tion to Dutchland. He wanted to bring his violoncello with him, bat
this was objected to by the entire party. There were still a few pre-
liminaries to be settled. As to expenses, that is a matter generally
ignored as " mere detail" on Boompje principles.
"Hallo!" says Gooch, "Who talks Dutch?" He generally pre-
faces a question or an observation with " Hallo."
It was explained to him, by the Secretary, that Hollanders generally
talked Dutch.
"No, no," says he; "look here, you i'ellars" (another formula with
aim), " I mean which of you talks it. I don't."
No one did. Maullie thought it wasn't necessary. The Secretary
thought it was; but suggested that French would do, to a certain
extent.
Bond asked if he was Commander-in-Chief or not ? Yes, lie was.
"Very well, then," says he, " we'll have a Courier."
It was carelessly objected that this course might be expensive.
It was statistically proved by Bund that it couldn't be anything of
the sort. His answer was, simply, "No, not a bit of it."
It was mildly opposed by the Secretary ; while Gooch, whose pro-
clivities are swellish, but whose means are limited, halted between two
opinions. Boompje, however, prevailed.
Maullie said that he'd once travelled with a Courier, and the plan
was delightfully luxurious. He had just sold his picture, as I have
already hinted, for a sum which would have purchased a wilderness of
Couriers. (Boompje adaptation of Shylock.)
Bund offers to be Paymaster-General, and settle with everyone at
the end of the time.
The Secretary and Gooch immediately agree to this plan, foreseeing
the convenience of a distant settlement, and place themselves entirely
in Bund's hands.
Maullie yields, on condition that he is to map out what we ought
to see.
Bund knows a Courier, and the thing is done.
Our reasons for going to Holland may be individually stated thus :—
Bund goes because he's seen the picture galleries once, and for-
gotten all about them.
Maullie, because he knows all the pictures by heart, but has never
seen them.
Gooch, because he has never heard of or seen the pictures.
The Secretary, because he has never seen the pictures, but heard of
some of them vaguely.
The Courier, because he's taken.
Coincidence which I notice at Rotterdam after the Boompje title
has been adopted, viz., that our Courier's name is Jomp, pronounced
Jump; and, therefore, the very name for a leader and guide of the
siderable trouble at first, as we now find he has taken all the tickets
via his own route) and asking him if we go near Lille.
Jomp, when questioned, always gives one the idea of having been
called out of bed at short notice, and dressed himself in a hurry. He
collects his scattered senses by passing his hand forwards and backwards
over his head several times, and murmuring something, partially unin-
telligible, still in his character of a man not quite awake.
" Lille." he is understood to murmur vaguely, " veil—um—um."
It should be mentioned that Jomp is, it is supposed, of Swiss origin,
and possesses such a knowledge of languages as is enough to render
him generally unintelligible in any particular tongue.
" Lille," he replies, considering, " Lille—veil—um-um-um ! Oh
ves ! "—this he gives in the tone of a permission—" Oh yes, you can go
by Lille," wherewith he shrugs his shoulders, as if to give us to under-
stand that such a detour will put the train to considerable trouble, not
to mention the entire derangement of his own plans.
"Yes." But Bund puts it in a barrister-like style. "Do we go
there or do we not.'"'
" Veil," says Ma. Jomp, after polishing his head slowly, preparatory
to taking his cap in both hands, and holding it behind him, " Veil—
you can go by Lille—oh yes—de train pass true dere." Then he adds
suddenly, as an afterthought, which is to take us by surprise, " if you
go that vay."
It is finally decided that we won't stop at Lille. And the route is
mapped out to the satisfaction of all parties.
Bund says confidentially to the "Secretary, that he should like to
have got down to Milan, or spent the time in Switzerland, instead of
Holland.
Maullie takes an early opportunity (when we subsequently come
up with him at Antwerp) of informing me that he gives way to the
majority, but for his part he should like to have made Dort his chief
place, and stopped there. Maullie's one idea is to go to Dort. Bund,
who is always ready with an argument from Murray, points out that
his authority says, " There is nothing to detain the traveller at Dort."
Maullie says that it is only true after you've seen everything. He
is sure that Dort is the most interesting place in Holland. Jomp says,
" Oh yes, um—um—um, you can stop at Dortrecht—um—um." Then,
as an afterthought, " if de steamer go dere." On the whole, we keep
Dort in reserve for Maullie, if he won't go on without it. First
Boompje sonnet by Maullie :—
To judge by report,
[ always thought
That we ought
To stop at Dort.
Bund thinks it stupid! Gooch says that Dort doesn't rhyme to
ought; and Maullie likes it himself, and reads it to me privately.
Gooch hopes [before we start] that we shall push on to Brussels,
and " see some fun." No one knows exactly what he means, except,
Yes," cries Gooch, as we were carrying it off jauntily on the quays
of Rotterdam, with hearts both light and merry (with which " hey
down derry" is to rhyme in The Miller and his Men, vide opening
chorus), "here we are regularly out on the spree."
"No," returns Professor Maullie, sweetly rebuking his junior,
" do not say ' on the spree ;1 say that we are out on the Boompje."
START OF THE BOOMPJES—LILLE—GHENT—THE BOOMPJE
HATS.
Maullie is to meet us at Antwerp, which we are to pass through on
our road to Rotterdam, but where we do not wish to stop, as three
of the party " know it by heart." Maullie being of an independent
Boompje nature, sets off by himself.
From the moment of our concluding arrangements with Jomp, the
Courier, all trouble is supposed to be taken off our hands. We merely
tell Jomp where we want to go to, Jomp knows the place, of course,
intimately, and he could find the way there blindfold. So Jomp
arranges our route. We propose, Jomp disposes. Jomp gets all the
necessary tickets, and we are to be oblivious of everything until we
find ourselves at our first halting place, Ghent.
The only inconvenience about this plan, we find, is that we change
our minds, and Jomp doesn't. We decide that we ought to go via
Antwerp first. Then having decided that, we decide again that
Antwerp oughtn't to be taken at all, but begin with Bruges.
Gooch exclaims, " Look here ! I say! Why not stop at Lille for a
night?"
No one knows exactly why not, but it being discovered that there's
nothing to be done at Lille at night, " except go to bed, that's all,"
says Jomp, disparagingly.the proposal is dismissed as unworthy of notice,
and Gooch says, " Hang it: he thinks you might listen to some of his
suggestions." As this looks like breaking up the party before it starts,
we compromise by calling in Jomp (which would have saved us con-
Boompjes ' ' apparently Jomp, who says, "Oh, yes—um—um, you can do someting
On we go to Holland, via France and Belgium; and back again, vial at Brussels," which is the fullest information he can offer us on the
Belgium and France. Boompje ! subject.
We start.
A broiling hot day. Gooch thinks that there won't be a ripple on
the water in crossing.
Bund is of opinion, having had something to do with nautical affairs
in his time, that it may be " blowing freshish outside." The men-
tion of "outside" exercises an unpleasant influence over Gooch.
He stations himself as near the centre as possible, and won't rise from
his seat
Mr. Jomp, with admirable forethought, places the coats and bags
on our seats, which he secures for us several minutes before the boat
starts, in such a position that we get the sun in our eyes, the blacks
from the chimney, and the heavy moisture from the steam valve pipe.
On being remonstrated with by Bund, who points out to him (Bund
once had a thirty-ton yacht off Erith, which he thought resembled the
French coast without the nuisance of having to learn a foreign
language) that when the wind is SS. by EE., and the sun is at meridian,
also when a boat is steering from SE. by N W. then, if you want to keep
out of the sun, you must get into the shade, Jomp replies, with an
admirable readiness, which shows him equal to auy emergency.
" Veil, yes—um-um-you can move the things."
Gooch, finding that there is no chance of being inconvenienced by
the voyage, now becomes hilarious, and ventures upon pale ale and a
cigar. He regales us with anecdotes of himself in various towns of
Europe, chiefly Boulogne and Paris. He begins to air his French, and
points out two or three people on board who he assures us, on his own
experience, are " regular foreigners," and who turn out to be com-
mercial travellers from Liverpool. Boompje !
At Calais he rejoices in being on the shores of France once more—
la belle France he exclaims—as if he'd been born or brought up there.
He exhibits the soldiers, the douaniers, and the French people to us
generally with this preface, " Look here, you won't see this sort of
thing in England, you know. We can't do that" a summing up
generally in depreciation of his own country.