Punch (59.1870)

PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 22, 1870.

BRUTUM FULMEN.

Old Gentleman. " ISTow totj Children, I'll tell yott what it is : if you make any more Xoise int Front of my House,
I'll Speak to that Policeman."

Chorus of Juveniles (much tickled). "That Pliceman ! Lor', we ain't Afeerd of 'lit! Why, that's Father!"

FIVE MINUTES WITH BISMARCK.

[From our Special Correspondent.)

I had a chat last night with. Bismarck. We smoked a cigar
together. He talks quite unreservedly of the War; says he has no
secrets about it; why should he have any ? It is everybody's business
as much as his own.

I told him I thought he was a fool to stick out for Alsace and Lor-
raine. No, he said, he was not a fool; he knew well enough that Alsace
and Lorraine would be more plague than profit; but the public opinion
of Germany demanded those provinces, and real public opinion, another
thing from the propension of the gentlemen of the pavement, could not
be disregarded even if it were despised. The German public was the
fool; not, he.

Well, I said, now it's a pity; for see what a risk you run. Here
will be winter coming on presently, and in another fortnight you will
have to fight General November. It is quite on the cards that you
may be attacked with influenza, or even dysentery, not to mention
cholera and typhus, and forced to beat a retreat through hostile terri-
tory, in frost and snow, like the Great Napoleon ; by Great I mean
Great Benefactor of his Species: when he was compelled to cut and
run from Moscow. Then, after all, you would be obliged to conclude
peace with, the French, at the best upon equal terms, and in that case,
said I, don't you see, old fellow ?-

What ? said Bismarck.

Why then, don't you see, I explained, you will of course lose your
indemnity. Hadn't you better make peace while you are sure of that ?

That never struck me before, said Bismarck. I tell you what, you
are a deuced clever fellow, and your head is screwed on the right way.
Yes : we might make sure of the indemnity now: at all events could
collar the French Fleet. I '11 go to the King directly, and tell his
Majesty what you suggest. A splendid idea, dear boy, he added,
slapping me on the back. Good bye. Don't say a word to anybody

of what we have been talkinsr about. Good bye for the present; but
drop in again soon. I shouldn't wonder if your hint has important
consequences. Before you go, give me another of those cigars.

A sensible fellow with nothing like_ pride about him, or_ stuck-up
notions, and quite capable of listening to and appreciating good
advice, is Bismarck. I shall not be at all surprised to hear in a day
or two that peace has been concluded on the basis of an indemnity, the
demolition of the forts, and, for the rest, continuance in statu quo.

Reunion Extraordinary.

A Police Report of the proceedings at Guildhall one day lately
commenced thus :—

" All the accused at this Court yesterday were named Smith."

To the Hostess, who calls Christopher Sip a rogue, that antiteetotal
tinker replies, " Y 'are a baggage : the Slys are no rogues." It too
plainly appears that the boast which may have been true respecting the
Slys, made by a member of the family, cannot, with equal truth, be
affirmed by a Smith.

The Enemy.

" How goes the enemy ?" we cry
Before we test the warning tinkles
Of our chronometer ; but I
Would say " how comes the enemy ?
Then must we answer, with a sigh,
" Advancing parallels of Wrinkles."

Out op her Latitude.—Will no one lend Mrs. Malaprop an
Atlas ? One of her sons is a sailor, and she will persist in saying that
he is now in the Specific Ocean.