Punch (59.1870)

178

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[October 29, 1870.

EVENINGS FROM HOME.

Enter Fernande, to thank Clotilde.
Pomerol {to her). You shouldn't, be here.

Clotilde {shutting him up). I know that as well as you. But here
I am.

Vezin or Mr. W. Farren
so well suited. I con-
gratulate Mrs. Wood on a valuable acquisition in Miss Fanny
Srough {Fernande), and I think I shall be able, when Mr. Lin
Rayne has "revised" some defects of pronunciation and certain
indications of an affected mannerism, to congratulate the manageress
on one of the best " first young men " in London.
Now to my usual before-and-behind-the-Curtain account of

FERNANDE.

ACT L

Fidgety Gentleman {in Stalk, looking at his watch, and speaking to his
Friend). I say, 1 hope they '11 begin punctually : we 've got to catch the
last train.

His Friend (from country, icho, being only v.p for a few days, wants to
have his full two-penn'orth). O yes, it '11 be all right.

Play begins.

Well-Informed Person {to some one 'not so well-informed). This was a
great hit iu Paris. Capitally acted there.

His Friend (coming to the point). Did you see it ?
Well-informed Person (brought to book). No—{saves his reputation)

irected my steps to the
St. James's, to see Fer-\
nande Saw it. Written' [.Commander J arbt then plays at some ga me with the V Mam in a
strongly in French by M. waistcoat, who, knowing that he hasn t got a chance of appearing

again in the piece, becomes very noisy and excited. False alarm
of Police given by Fernande.

Roqueville (naturally angry). Why did you do that?
Fernande (the practical joker). I only rang for Madarm's coachman.

Roqueville. Did you ? Then-

[Row. Pomerol knocks him. down. Jarbi presents a pistol at him.
Villains (their last chance) throw themselves into attitudes. Curtain.

Bravo !

Intelligent Person (in Stalls). I wonder how the deuce they '11 manage
to get out of that house,
all concerned, and it is | His Friend. Don't know,
some time since I have ' Fidgety Gentleman. I say, they 're an awful time between each Act.
seen either Mrs. Hermann Must catch last train. Do hope they won't tell any more long stories.

Victorien Sardotj. Cer-
tain very strong French
points necessarily omitted
in the process called "re-
vising." But Fernande is
good; better since the first
night, on account of having
been re-revised and con-
siderably curtailed.
It is capitally acted by

ACT II.

Clotilde's House or Georgette's House, uncertain.

Georgette. So you are happy (to Clotilde). I'11 tell you why you
should be jealous, as I am. fTells her a story, and makes her jealous.

Enter Andre, Clotilde's intended.

Clotilde (just to try him). I don't love you.
Andre. Hooray ! I'm another. Now 1 '11 tell you all.

[Tells her a long story.

Clotilde. Let me introduce you to the young person whom you do
love.

Andre. Who is she ?

Clotilde. I'll tell you. [Not having a long stony ready, she invents one,
and tells him. Then they all go to dinner.

Fidgety Person. Hang it! these stories take up no end of a time.
The train goes at 11 30.

ACT III.

Return of Pomerol and Jarbi to see Clotilde on Andre's wedding-day.
Pomerol. And so-

Clotilde (aside). He knows nothing (Aloud) I will tell you.

rr cu-injuimcuj. t?#un Kur<jr»yin iu uuun.,. iyv—\*uur* ins rcpuiutiuii}— fInvents another stony and tells him

but I know all about it. (Wishes he had seen it in Paris, so as to have T, , w . < 4i. „ j b- " u>.....

Pomerol. We must go to the wedding.

Clotilde. 0 no, not until we've had two or three more stories.
Commander Jarbi will oblige.

been able to talk about it now authoritatively.)

Scene—An elegant Saloon.

Enter M. Bricassin (Mr. Gaston Murray), looking awfully villanous, LJ abbi obliges with two or three anecdotes of foreign travel, and fails

with a most remarkable evening-dress waistcoat.
Intelligent Person (in Stalls). He'd be the ruin of any gambling-

to make his point out of a little Corsican joke.
Clotilde. Very good. Now, Pomerol, I'll te\\you a story.

[Tells him how she's taken in and done for the nice young man Andre,

house. No one would play for sixpence with a man in such a waistcoat Pomerol. O you. . . . ! Shut up! [He shuts her up, so that she
as that. i can't tell any more stories, and turns the key on her. End of Act.

Enter another Villain of the hairdresser s-shop-window-figure order. A Fidgety Person. Hang it! it might all be told in one Act, and here

mild-looking sicindler, with evident false whiskers. [ —dear me! the train goes in half an hour.

Enter M. Roqueville, keeper of gambling-house, with a pair of the \ His Friend {hopefully). 0, I dare say the last Act will be very short.

fiercest moustachios.

ACT IV.

Andrs a:-id Fernande married.
Enter Clotilde by a back door.
Clotilde (aside). He knows nothing.

Enter M. Pomerol (Mr. Farren). Altercation between these parties,
not particularly intelligible.

Enter Marquis des Arc is (Mr. Lin Rayne), a nice young man.

Respectable Pomerol {astonished: to Nice Young Man). Why are you j ^ndrl. cTotIld^T "why anywhere p
here ? You mustn t be here! CMM J[ haye t te„ ' a„

JS'ice Young Andre. Why not r

Respectable Pomerol. I'll tell you. [Tells him a lo?ig story.

Nice Young Man (convinced). Thank you. I '11 go. (Goes, probably
in order to avoid hearing another long story.)

N.B. M. Victorien Sardou is addicted to long stories.
Enter Clotilde, surname unknown; position in society, uncertain;

[Tells him all for the last time, and goes away.
As "all" is not very terrible in the English version, And he on hearing
Pomerol tell him a few more stories and read a letter, forgives him.
Fernande and they are supposed to live happily ever after.
Fidgety Gentleman (after Clotilde's exit). Hang it! we must go.

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widow or spinster, unexplained; older or younger than the young I »!' F™»d {from ™U*H' 5.° * ^ ° Uf ^>ovf,lt fiais,lies;
Andre, to whom she is engaged, nobody knows. \ Genheman. Can t. lrain goes in quarter of an hom-(makes

'« discovery)—besides-

Reads tlie bill, the whole plot is written down.
Exeunt both. The play finishes.

Pomerol (the respectable—astonished for the second time). Ha! Clo-
tilde ! Why are you here !J

Clotilde. Don't you know ? I '11 tell you.
[Tells him a story about having run over Fernande in tlie street,
and brought her back in her carriage.
Pomerol. But you mustn't be here !
Clotilde. Why not ?

Pomerol. Don't you know why not ? I'11 tell you. Listen. Twenty
years ago, &c, &c.

[Pays her out by telling her a long story, and then she knows why she
shouldn't be here.

Roqueville (to Pomerol). You shouldn't be here.
Pomerol. Why not ?

Roqueville (brutally). I'll soon show you why not. [He doesn't.

Gladness in the Ghetto.

The Official Gazette of R,ome announces that "the Israelite married
couple, Cohen," have recovered from a convent their little boy,
kidnapped by the priests in 1864. Accounts from Rome further repre-
sent the Jewish community at large as rejoicing greatly in the annex-
ation of Rome to Italy. The anniversary of the plebiscihm which
effected that event will doubtless be observed by the Jews as a regular
jubilee, when, indeed, the Ghetto will resound with the chant of
Jubilate intoned in the original tongue.