DOI Heft:
January 7, 1871
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16887#0019
January 7, 1871.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
9
character, and will never entitle him to the rank of an English
classic.
F. C. Bttrnand.—This author may perhaps have some claim upon
our memory as a writer of the school of the great German Kotzebue,
whose style he has too servilely followed ever to warrant our
including him among the list of original British Dramatists. His
dramas are seldom under ten acts, are less fitted for the stage than
the closet, and though here and there the student may come upon a
gem of deep poetic thought, yet it is almost entirely lost in the set-
ting. His plays, deeply imbued, or, as Philip Kemble would have
said, Kotzebued, with Teutonic metaphysical subleties, will never
take hold on the English public, until (absit omen !) Germany has
invaded, and German thought has pervaded our much-loved island
home.
De. Westland Marston.—It is pleasant to turn from the sombre
gloom of Me. Btjrnand's writings to the lively, sprightly pieces, one
third spectacle, one third ballet, one third extravaganza, of Dr. W.
Marston. He cannot, perhaps, dance himself, but he is the_ cause
of dancing in others, and no man can inspire his actors with the
genuine chic of a can-can or a breakdown so well as De. Westland
Marston. His jingling rhyme is funny without vulgarity, his sub-
jects, generally chosen from Fairy lore, are of a genial character,
and we may set De. W. Maeston down as eminently the Dramatist
for Juveniles.
Aethue Seetchxet. — Known chiefly by his Equestrian
Dramas. With the decline of Astley's, Me. Seetchley's occupation
has well-nigh gone. His plays depended upon their being well
mounted, and some of his dialogue (in days when dialogue was really
worth listening to) ought to be remembered for its breadth of senti-
ment and its pointed political allusions. He is a master of horse
effects, and was able himself to instruct his actors in their various
roles. There is some talk of a theatre being subsidised by Govern-
ment for the especial performance of the Sketchley - Equestrian
Drama; but we fear the scheme will fall to the ground.
" Q," of the Athenceum is perfectly welcome to make what use he
likes of the above information from his friend " Me. P."
THE HEIGHT OF HUMAN KINDNESS.
In a circular, issued to solicit contributions for the "Extension
of the New Cut Gospel Hall Work," a Me. Weight, called by his
familiars " Ned Weight," states that he seeks help in providing
soup suppers for the criminal classes in different parts of London.
" Thieves' suppers," the Times prefixes to a paragraph, which con-
tains the foregoing information. Thieves' suppers f What next ?
Thieves' dormitories, perhaps! Thieves' homes to house the poor
thieves for the night, or the day—for those who pursue the line of
burglary.
Soup suppers for thieves! What soup one would like to know ?
Possibly real turtle would not be thought too good by "Me. Ned
Weight," if it were not too expensive. As it is, perhaps he would
have them content with mock or ox-tail, and occasionally soup d la
Heine. On one of these cold, wet nights, however, it may be sug-
gested that mulligatawny would be more comforting for the poor
thieves.
The idea of a Thieves' Supper is worthy of a New Cut Gospel. Is
" New Cut" possibly a misprint for " Newgate ? " though it comes
to the same thing. In this new—whether New Cut or Newgate-
Gospel, a prominent place should be assigned to Baeabbas. Supper
for Thieves, indeed ! The only proper meal is what our forefathers
would have given them—Old English "whipping-cheer."
THE FIVE TESTS OF FRIENDSHIP.
1. Lend your friend a good umbrella, and live to see it back again.
2. Invite him to your club, and treat him to cold mutton, and find
that he forgives you.
3. Ask him to post a letter, and learn within a week that he has
actually done so.
4. Cut a gash in his new billiard cloth without ruffling his temper.
5. Tread upon his gouty toe, and see him smiling at your clumsi-
ness.
A Hint.
" General Faidherbe has cut the Railway" said a telegram last
week. If our Directors do not take speedy measures for the protec-
tion of our lives, wise English folks will follow the General's
example.
Passages oe Aems.—In the Tower.
INSULATION FOR EVER!
Whoe'ee on Electricity
Hath aught of information
Knows certain things the means to be
Of what's called Insulation ;
Unless he is a perfect ass,
Obtuse to all instructors,
For instance, sealing-wax, and glass,
He knows are non-conductors.
He knows that Insulation means
The likeness to an Island,
Whose entire margin water screens,
Encompassing the dry land.
The waves around Great Britain flow,
Whence we are situated,
Thank goodness, from the whole world so
As to be insulated.
But insulation incomplete
Is ours for peaceful traders ;
To perfect it we want a fleet,
Which can keep out invaders.
With adjuncts needful for our case
Which, with no vain reliance,
Will, we may trust, supply the place
Of glass and wax in science.
Upon an insulated stool.
Electrified when standing,
A maiden may repel a fool
As we do foes from landing.
Save that our insulating guns
It is that flash and crackle,
And shock the foolish foreign ones,
Who think our tars to tackle.
They jeer at us as insular
In many a thought and notion;
'Tis not unlikely that we are
Blest be surrounding Ocean !
And may we, if, some narrow views
Renouncing as a nation ;
Our insularity we lose,
Ne'er lose our insulation.
STREET-SLIDES AND SURGERY.
The late frosty weather (observes a medical correspondent) has
been peculiarly seasonable for practitioners of the healing art, be-
cause it has greatly increased their opportunities for its exercise.
Fortunately for us, the Law can interpose no hindrance between
practice and bronchitis or rheumatism; but in respect of accidents
we are less happily circumstanced, as you will see on reading the
subjoined extract from the Times' Police Report:—
" At Bow Street the greater part of yesterday was occupied in disposing of
cases of drunkenness and assault. There were also many charges against men
and boys for sliding on the pavement to the danger of the passengers. Fines
were imposed in most of these charges."
The imposition of fines for indulgence in the sport of sliding on
the pavement, and thus endangering the limbs and even lives of
passengers, cannot but tend to diminish our interesting and valuable
cases of contusion, dislocation, and fracture, simple and compound.
But we might be in a worse position. If Magistrates, empowered to
visit the amusement abovementioned with fine or imprisonment at
discretion, were, in the exercise of that discretion, to inflict impri-
sonment, they would put a stop to a pastime which they now but
slightly check, and would effect the total discontinuance of a prac-
tice now largely beneficial to our own. On the whole, therefore, we
have not much cause to complain.
Theatrical.
line for the deury lane playbill.
{Suggested as an Advertisement.)
Mr. Chatterton {quoting Sheridan to his purpose). "Here is the
picture—Beverley s picture."—Rivals, Act iv. Sc. 3.
Good Advice.—A Reporter of great experience tells us, that to
Digest a Tough Sermon you must first Take it Down.
Vol. GO
1—2
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
9
character, and will never entitle him to the rank of an English
classic.
F. C. Bttrnand.—This author may perhaps have some claim upon
our memory as a writer of the school of the great German Kotzebue,
whose style he has too servilely followed ever to warrant our
including him among the list of original British Dramatists. His
dramas are seldom under ten acts, are less fitted for the stage than
the closet, and though here and there the student may come upon a
gem of deep poetic thought, yet it is almost entirely lost in the set-
ting. His plays, deeply imbued, or, as Philip Kemble would have
said, Kotzebued, with Teutonic metaphysical subleties, will never
take hold on the English public, until (absit omen !) Germany has
invaded, and German thought has pervaded our much-loved island
home.
De. Westland Marston.—It is pleasant to turn from the sombre
gloom of Me. Btjrnand's writings to the lively, sprightly pieces, one
third spectacle, one third ballet, one third extravaganza, of Dr. W.
Marston. He cannot, perhaps, dance himself, but he is the_ cause
of dancing in others, and no man can inspire his actors with the
genuine chic of a can-can or a breakdown so well as De. Westland
Marston. His jingling rhyme is funny without vulgarity, his sub-
jects, generally chosen from Fairy lore, are of a genial character,
and we may set De. W. Maeston down as eminently the Dramatist
for Juveniles.
Aethue Seetchxet. — Known chiefly by his Equestrian
Dramas. With the decline of Astley's, Me. Seetchley's occupation
has well-nigh gone. His plays depended upon their being well
mounted, and some of his dialogue (in days when dialogue was really
worth listening to) ought to be remembered for its breadth of senti-
ment and its pointed political allusions. He is a master of horse
effects, and was able himself to instruct his actors in their various
roles. There is some talk of a theatre being subsidised by Govern-
ment for the especial performance of the Sketchley - Equestrian
Drama; but we fear the scheme will fall to the ground.
" Q," of the Athenceum is perfectly welcome to make what use he
likes of the above information from his friend " Me. P."
THE HEIGHT OF HUMAN KINDNESS.
In a circular, issued to solicit contributions for the "Extension
of the New Cut Gospel Hall Work," a Me. Weight, called by his
familiars " Ned Weight," states that he seeks help in providing
soup suppers for the criminal classes in different parts of London.
" Thieves' suppers," the Times prefixes to a paragraph, which con-
tains the foregoing information. Thieves' suppers f What next ?
Thieves' dormitories, perhaps! Thieves' homes to house the poor
thieves for the night, or the day—for those who pursue the line of
burglary.
Soup suppers for thieves! What soup one would like to know ?
Possibly real turtle would not be thought too good by "Me. Ned
Weight," if it were not too expensive. As it is, perhaps he would
have them content with mock or ox-tail, and occasionally soup d la
Heine. On one of these cold, wet nights, however, it may be sug-
gested that mulligatawny would be more comforting for the poor
thieves.
The idea of a Thieves' Supper is worthy of a New Cut Gospel. Is
" New Cut" possibly a misprint for " Newgate ? " though it comes
to the same thing. In this new—whether New Cut or Newgate-
Gospel, a prominent place should be assigned to Baeabbas. Supper
for Thieves, indeed ! The only proper meal is what our forefathers
would have given them—Old English "whipping-cheer."
THE FIVE TESTS OF FRIENDSHIP.
1. Lend your friend a good umbrella, and live to see it back again.
2. Invite him to your club, and treat him to cold mutton, and find
that he forgives you.
3. Ask him to post a letter, and learn within a week that he has
actually done so.
4. Cut a gash in his new billiard cloth without ruffling his temper.
5. Tread upon his gouty toe, and see him smiling at your clumsi-
ness.
A Hint.
" General Faidherbe has cut the Railway" said a telegram last
week. If our Directors do not take speedy measures for the protec-
tion of our lives, wise English folks will follow the General's
example.
Passages oe Aems.—In the Tower.
INSULATION FOR EVER!
Whoe'ee on Electricity
Hath aught of information
Knows certain things the means to be
Of what's called Insulation ;
Unless he is a perfect ass,
Obtuse to all instructors,
For instance, sealing-wax, and glass,
He knows are non-conductors.
He knows that Insulation means
The likeness to an Island,
Whose entire margin water screens,
Encompassing the dry land.
The waves around Great Britain flow,
Whence we are situated,
Thank goodness, from the whole world so
As to be insulated.
But insulation incomplete
Is ours for peaceful traders ;
To perfect it we want a fleet,
Which can keep out invaders.
With adjuncts needful for our case
Which, with no vain reliance,
Will, we may trust, supply the place
Of glass and wax in science.
Upon an insulated stool.
Electrified when standing,
A maiden may repel a fool
As we do foes from landing.
Save that our insulating guns
It is that flash and crackle,
And shock the foolish foreign ones,
Who think our tars to tackle.
They jeer at us as insular
In many a thought and notion;
'Tis not unlikely that we are
Blest be surrounding Ocean !
And may we, if, some narrow views
Renouncing as a nation ;
Our insularity we lose,
Ne'er lose our insulation.
STREET-SLIDES AND SURGERY.
The late frosty weather (observes a medical correspondent) has
been peculiarly seasonable for practitioners of the healing art, be-
cause it has greatly increased their opportunities for its exercise.
Fortunately for us, the Law can interpose no hindrance between
practice and bronchitis or rheumatism; but in respect of accidents
we are less happily circumstanced, as you will see on reading the
subjoined extract from the Times' Police Report:—
" At Bow Street the greater part of yesterday was occupied in disposing of
cases of drunkenness and assault. There were also many charges against men
and boys for sliding on the pavement to the danger of the passengers. Fines
were imposed in most of these charges."
The imposition of fines for indulgence in the sport of sliding on
the pavement, and thus endangering the limbs and even lives of
passengers, cannot but tend to diminish our interesting and valuable
cases of contusion, dislocation, and fracture, simple and compound.
But we might be in a worse position. If Magistrates, empowered to
visit the amusement abovementioned with fine or imprisonment at
discretion, were, in the exercise of that discretion, to inflict impri-
sonment, they would put a stop to a pastime which they now but
slightly check, and would effect the total discontinuance of a prac-
tice now largely beneficial to our own. On the whole, therefore, we
have not much cause to complain.
Theatrical.
line for the deury lane playbill.
{Suggested as an Advertisement.)
Mr. Chatterton {quoting Sheridan to his purpose). "Here is the
picture—Beverley s picture."—Rivals, Act iv. Sc. 3.
Good Advice.—A Reporter of great experience tells us, that to
Digest a Tough Sermon you must first Take it Down.
Vol. GO
1—2