Punch: Punch (60.1871)

january H, 1871.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 17

EVENINGS FROM HOME.

- ^OUflHTNG DliURY LANE.—

~- -~"-JB^ \/\ f\l Pantomine thoroughlysuc-
B^h^b JfflllM oessfnl, owing mainly to
, %B ■^£1 jUllllll the clever 'rVoKES Fa-
if-H w ^^mllllilffllll mily." We give Mr.

Chatteeton a couplet of
advice—

Place at the head of the

Drury Lane Bill,
Here you'll see Voices et
prceterea nil.

Not that prceterea nil is
strictly true, for the ta-
lented Vokeses don't paint
the scenery—

Which very cleverly,
Does Mistee Beverley—

but we dare say they could
if they only tried. They
can sing, dance, and act,
and Miss Victoeia Vokes
can, we believe, play a
heroine in serious drama
(and Amy Robsart was a
very serious drama) as well
as she can a burlesque part
in a pantomime opening,

Object of Affection {bending her head a little—tenderly). What ?
Impassioned Lover {straining every nerve to render himself audible

in a whisper). If I could only-

[Bang, whack, clash, and the band plays " Rule Britannia" to
ivhich the Gallery chorus, and then applaud themselves
vociferously. Curtain rises. Applause.
Old Time speaks, and presently says something about '' Six being
half-a-dozing."

[Oldjoke, welcomed by audience. Elderly Gentleman in dress
circle with his grandchildren is seen to weep. A little boy
on stage speaks some lines distinctly.
Niece {to Uncle, who has brought her). What a clever little boy !
Uncle. Yes {referring to bill). That's Master Tiny chap. Dear me!
What an odd—{suddenly awaking to the fact)—oh, I see—{explains
to his niece)—that's not his real name, that's a-a—{at a loss for a
word)—a make-believe name.

[Is satisfied with himself, and thinks ivhat exquisite humour it is
to call a boy Mr. Tinychap—so droll.
Chilly Person {shivering). How very cold it is now the curtain's
up. [Determines never again to leave his coat icith the box-keeper in
winter.

Late Arrival {with umbrella and coat, as if he expected it to rain in

the Stalls, enters). Beg pardon—{cheerfully)—beg pardon-

[Treads on toes, passes along third row to his supposed destination.
Stall-keeper {calling). Here, Sir, that's not your stall.

Late Arrival. Hey ? not ? then, why the-

[Recollects ladies are present; retraces his steps over people's
toes, bumping against their knees.
Chilly Person. Dear me ! why can't people come earlier ? {Scowls
at Late Arrival, and makes an obstacle of his knees.) Confound his
umbrella ! [It falls on his toes.

They are, generally speaking, invaluable to the management. Then J Late Arrival {cheerfully). Beg pardon ! {Chilly One scowls.) Cold
again, the Lessee is fortunate in his Clown, Me. F. Evans, who can j night, isn't it ? {Smiling on the Chilly One.) They've begun some

do genuinely funny pantomime business, as well as tumble. First-
rate 'Mime for children to see, and having said thus much we pro-
ceed to our review in our usual form.

time, eh ?

Chilly One {grumpily). Yes ; half an hour. Why won't they shut
that door ?

Late Arrival {rubbing his hands cheerily). Snowing tremendously.
t ,7 rn, . ,,<■ ™.oc ,t i . tt i jr ii nu\ Paterfamilias {from Clapham, overhearing this intelligence, turns

In the Theatre. Time 7 35 or thereabouts. House nearlyJull; Pit fo Mat^.famu^Jand Friends, aghast). How shall we get back ?

Materfamilias {determined to enjoy all she can for the money now she
is out). 0, it will be better soon ; and Jaevis has sent us a good horse
with the fly. [Paterfamilias is disturbed for the rest of the evening.
[ Wonderful Dance by the Voeeses. Overpowering encore. Beau-

and Gallery crammed. Farce just finishing. Buzz from
Gallery ; general humming sound about the house.

Enter Acute Person {finds his Stall, and a Friend). Ah! how
d'ye do ? Pantomime not begun, eh ? What are they playing ?
His Friend. Don't know.

[They try to catch anything that's being said on the stage.
Comic Man {playing in the Farce, at the top of his voice). We

must be cautious for-

[Hullabaloo—buzz—hum. Remainder of speech inaudible.
Second Comic Man {evidently playing a very good part). I think

Master George is-

[Hum, hum, hum, buzz, buzz, buzz, from all round the house.

Enter people into Stalls and Private Boxes.

Lady {in farce, smiling and saying something very nice to young
Man). We mustn't- [Noise as before.

Enter more people playing in the Farce. Housemaid sweeps somebody
off with a broom ; great applause ; shouts.

Young Man {the lover in the Farce, advancing to the footlights,
and bawling out the tag as loud'as he can). And if our friends in
front-

[Hum, hum, buzz, buzz, applause; shouts. They bow, and pro-
bably say to themselves, " Thank Goodness, that's over."
Curtain. Indiscriminate and unbounded applause. Every
one very much relieved.
Chilly Gentleman {in Stalls, shivering). Dear me! Ugh! One
really wants feet-warmers and rugs. Ugh ! ( Wishes he hadn't given
his great coat to Stall-keeper. Looks towards Stall entrance vindic-
tively) I wish they'd keep that door shut.

[Looks upon everyone coming in as his personal enemy.

Exciting moments. Cn-chestra tuning. Question and answer by Fiddle
and Bassoon. Enter determined Conductor. Preliminary tap.
All ready ? Flageolet staggering on one note. Called to order.
Ready ? Off. Start of that magnificent and tremendous compo-
sition, the Drury Lane Pantomime Overture. Gradual cessation
of buzzing and humming.

Box full of Children, awe-struck. They never take their eyes off the

Curtain.

Anxious Little Boy. I say, Grandma', when's the Clown coming ?

[Grandmamma explains, but fails to satisfy his curiosity.
N.B.—Little Boy puts this question with every change of scene.
Impassioned Lover {in Stalls during overture to the object of his

affections). Lf I could only think that you-

[He has unfortunately been placed near the big drum and cymbals
•;hack—bang ; impossibility of sotto-voce conversation.

tiful Scene—Haunt of the Wafer Nymphs—Crowds of
Nymphs. Calls for " Beverley! Beverley !! " Enter from
Prompt side the Good Genius of the Paint Brush, looking
like the Ghost of Hamlet's father, " more in sorrow than in
anger" at being called upon to appear. He bows mourn-
fully, shakes his head diffidently, as much as to say, " You
really mustn't, you know,—no, don't—please, don't," and
backs out, apparently to be carried away exhausted in Mr.
Chatterton's arms, or, ivhich is more likely, to step sud-
denly on the Prompter's toes.']
Niece {thinking Mr. Beveeley a character in the Pantomime,
and that perhaps his head will come off, or he '11 be afterwards
Clown). Who's that?

Uncle {after vainly referring to his bill). Eh? that's—that's—
ah—I suppose that's—the—the—um—the Scene Decorator, you know.
[He evidently looks upon this art as on a par with the House
painter, decorator, plumber, and glazier.
Critical Person. Pity the singing's not better.
[In consequence of some Nymph, perhaps a Water-Nymph with
a, cold, attempting a song.
Habitue {Charles, her Friend). Yes. One only wants to hear some-
thing lively. You don't want words in a Pantomime. It ought to
be all Yokes and Beverley.

Critical Person. Yes ; here they are again—he's marvellous.

[Alludes to the Yokes who represents Moore of Moore Hall.
Playgoer {in Pit, admiring Miss Victoria Yokes). I say, she
played Hamy Rohsart.

His Companion. 0 ' course. She did it no end stunning, too. Like
this better nor that, eh, George ?

George {with an orange, nods and winks his sentiments). Yes.
{Stops suction.) I see t'other one doit—Neilson". She can't dance
like this here one. Brayvo, Yokes !

[Applauds with his feet and resumes orange.

Then follows a scene played entirely by children.
Materfamilias {to Paterfamilias). 0 ! we must bring the children
to see this.

Paterfamilias {craftily seizing the opportunity). Yes, dear, cer-
tainly. You can bring them, and I '11 fetch you, afterwards.

[Says this in view of a bachelor dinner at his Club.

Materfamilias {checkmating, with a move towards a fly for the
day, and doing some shopping). 0, we needn't trouble you, dear,
I can take them to a Morning Performance.