Punch (60.1871)

February 25, 1871.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

81

When glad for bread, and that bad bread,

En queue she dresses daily,
And on the shortest commons fed,

Admits their rationale,

Till the Proud City, cynosure

Of Earth's civilisation,
Suddenly stands aghast, a-stare

In the face of Starvation—
Up jumps John Bell, with Lor'-JIaire power,

Out the stored sovereigns rattle,
And in the trucks pour meat and flour,

And corn and coals and cattle—

Still, spite of all that you have done

To make both pain and need less,
For soldiers rotting in their wounds,

For peasants starving seedless,
For Paris 'gainst sharp famine's coil

Swift strengthened by your guineas,
Who dares say that your bounty vile

—Shop-keepers !—worth a pin is ?

Your charitable feeling!—Stuff!

Say your long-headed cunning.
That keeps the neutral six-foot line,

Clear of both war-trains running.
When rolling-stock comes to a crash,

You make, mend, sell, and fleece us ;
And whosoever goes to smash,

You still pick up the pieces !

Neutral indeed! ITumbugs, that blow

Still hot and cold together ;
Muddy as your own porter-beer,

And dull as your own weather.
Now 'gainst the French you talk and write,

Descant, anon, 'gainst German ;
And on our wickedness that tight

Drone your self-righteous sermon.

With whites of eyes that whiter grow,

And nose-twang ever louder,
The more converted guns you sell,

And segment-shells, and powder.
For each pound profit, 'twill not hurt

To give a penny charity ;
While you pile up the yellow dirt,

And groan o'er our barbarity.

Rich John!—Poor JonN !—in money rich,

But poor in pluck and pride too ;
To Honour dead, 'tis Mammon's sun

You turn a sentient side to.
In pocket who has head and heart,

Will also have his hands there,
While, with back dull to insult's smart,

A snubbing-block he stands there.

Give him hard words for his hard cash :

Huckster and humbug dub him ;
Abuse him roundly,—one step more,

Is it not safe to drub him ?
The time has been that he had pluck,

That was when he was poor :
Since then in business he's had luck,

And so tights shy—and sure.

Thiers the First.

Himself a great author, Mr. Punch is delighted at
the accession of a brother author to the Throne of France.
The mere title is a form, but whether the new Sovereign
is to be the President, Vice-Consul, or Emperor, Mr.
Punch respectfully salutes him, and hastens to recognise
the Dynasty. His Majesty has waited long for the
crown—but " the world is to him who knows how to
wait"—and to work. The new Sovereign's health in a
bottle—aye, of Bordeaux.

heroics ok high treason.

Who grudges the Princess Louise's dower ?
Convey that shabby caitiff to the Tower.

Essence of National Assembly.—Grevy.

A REASONABLE COMPLAINT.

Old Gent. "Well, Charlie, what sort of Book is that ?—Interesting,

eh?"

Bloodthirsty Young Rascal. " Not a bit. It's a great Muff. I've read
Sixty Pages, and there is only One Man Killed yet."

EXCITING.

The following notice has been issued, and ere this appears the event may
have come off:—

"The Police and Vaccination.—All the members of the Metropolitan Police Force
are to be vaccinated at once."

This is a really healthy mode of dealing with an arm of the Civil Executive.
We trust that the Police will be mustered in full force in Hyde Park, and that
no solemnity will be wanting to render the ceremony thoroughly impressive. H
not too late, we would suggest the presence of the Police Band, to play
" Uprouse ye then, my merry, merry men, for His our opening day." The
thieves' proverb for the occasion will probably be '' The Police vaccination is
the Roughs' opportunity." But, by the way, how will they "all" be done
" at once " ? By electricity ? If so, Hyde Park by all means. Field and battery
review, with cows in the distance, gazing placidly on the scene. Aux amies,
citoyens ! Lancets to the front! and be our war-cry on that day, Vaccination
and Victory!

A CLERICAL ENCOURAGEMENT.

Wild horses should not draw us into the admission that the Scotch are
not the very pleasantest of people. Yet possibly a child might venture to think
otherwise, at least after any such experience as the following :—■

" At a children's soiree, held in a village in the county of Kincardine, the other night,
a clergyman, addressing nearly 300 young people, checked the exuberance of their youthful
spirits by forbidding them to applaud, telling them 'there would be nothing of that kind,
and no laughter, in heaven,' and that these manifestations of feeling were ' inconsistent
with religion.' "—lJundee Advertiser.

The Scottish clergy may be supposed to know their own people better than we
do. But it would not occur, we think, to an English parson, that a statement
like that the reverend Scot is said to have made (the allegation about him may
be as unfounded as that attributed to him) was a very ready means of _ creating
a desire, on the part of children, for the locality to which they are destined.