Punch (60.1871)

A GENERAL SALUTE.

Captain Dyngwell, 1st R. V. [sotto voce). " Now, what the Dooce can these Sympson Gals mean by Looking in that ridiculous

Manner ?"

HALE A CENTUKY HENCE.

foreshadowed by our own clairvoyant.

A.D. 1921. January.—A clean, well-constructed, and comfort-
able cab, with a civil, conscientious, and obliging- driver, is seen for
the first time in a London street.

February.—A poor governess is paid better wages than a cook,
and is actually treated by her mistress as a lady.

March.—A Bill is introduced in the House of Commons, rendering
it penal to give alms to a street-beggar.

April.—Hyde Park is disposed of to a Building Society, and the
stuffed animals are removed from the British Museum.

May.—Opening of the Thames Embankment throughout the
whole extent of London, reaching from Southend to the bridge at
Hampton Court.

June.—Abolition of the " chimney-pot " by Act of Social Parlia-
ment, and invention of a comfortable and becoming hat for
gentlemen.

July.—A Drawing-room is held for the first time at Windsor
Castle, that being now the centre of the fashionable West End.

August.—Enlargement of the Royal Albert Hall at Kensington,
in order to accommodate the audience expected to listen to a lecture
on Fine Art by Mr. Punch.

September.—During the vacation all London is macadamised,
excepting in such thoroughfares as are paved with asphalte.

October.—The balloon St. Leger race is run for the first time over
the new course, starting from the Land's End to the roof of John o'
Groat's House.

November.—The Lord Mayor's Show is held upon the Fifth, in
pursuance of the Act prohibiting the exhibition of any guys in
London excepting on that day.
j December.—Grand Inauguration of the Punch Statue in the centre
of what formeviy was known as Leicester Square, but which, having
been roofed over, has been christened the Walhalla, and is filled
with England's Worthies, waiting for their Chief.

A HIGH JOKE IN SPAIN.

The Times remarks that when the Marquis de Miraflores,
addressing the Spanish Senate, said, " I ask the Senate to pass a
Bill that shall put an end to all revolutions," his words " convulsed
the House with laughter." Naturally. The Spanish Senate laughed
as heartily as the British House of Lords would laugh if some noble
Peer were to request their Lordships to pass a Bill that would
initiate a series of revolutions. Perhaps if M. Thiers were to talk
to the French National Assembly about legislation that should put
a stop to revolutions, he would be laughed at by his hearers equally
with the Marquis de Miraflores. Revolutions in France, as well
as Spain, constitute, as Mr. O'Brallaghan says, the natural order
of things.

THE DEAN AND THE PARSON.
Dean of RiroN to Parson Purchas.

Dean (sings)—

The Judges have spoken. Now don't be irascible:
Off with your Tunicle, Stole, Alb, and Chasible.

Pars. P. {sings)—

That's true, Mr. Dean, but they also declare,
That a Cope in Cathedrals all clergy must wear.
On High days and Sundays—■

Dean {sings fortissimo). What me ! wear a Cope !

On Sunday or Anyday ! Go to the-Pope.

[Exeunt in opposite directions.

Matrimony Made Seasonable.

Would those of their Reverences who think it wrong to marry in
Lent, be reconciled to a Lenten marriage by an arrangement that,
at the wedding-breakfast thereafter, to preclude undue fast-break
ing, the fare should be limited to red-herrings ?