Punch: Punch (60.1871)

174 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. (April 29, 1871.

ASCETICISM !

Grace. " But how Dull in London in Lent ! "

Alice. " Dull ! 0 dear, no ! There was no End of Shopping to be Done, and Plenty of Fun in the Park ; and Lots
of People we knew went to the best Church Services in the Mornings, and again in the Evenings, before Dinner,
you Know."

room. One in the corner, the other by the fire. The one in the qathuq a vn QOVrDTTPATQ

corner is plaintive, the other, by the fire, is peremptory, and oJNUrJb AfNJJ oUVJiiJi rjlljJNb.

evidently not to be trifled with. He is trifled with, however. It T . ^, ... , „ , i T 1 ,,

appears that he has ordered his favourite dish, a veal cutlet, and \ =AM a jolly British bnob, and 1 glory in the name,

instead of that they have brought him a ham sandwich. On his I know 1 am t got no self-respect nor I am t no sense of shame,

remonstrating violently, the waiter disappears with the ham, and And a crowned, or hex-crowned ed 1 11 own I do delight to moD,.

soon after another enters with a dish of fish, which he places before 1 or 1 m a re&lar out-and-out rampagious British Snob,
him.

"What the deuce is this ? " says the man by the fire.

"Didn't ye orther fish, Sorr ?" asks a most polite waiter of Irish
extraction. j And I ham that blessed habjec-t, it would gratify me so,

" No," replies the visitor savagely. " I-" when he is inter- \ To get a touch from Majesty, if honly with the toe!

rupted by a touchingly-sad voice from the corner, which says, "I

ordered fish ; it's my fish, I think. I've been waiting half an hour Their gates, to watch when they goes out, I constantly besets,

for it—I've had nothing since soup." In their walks and drives waylays 'em—in their way 'oorayin gets

I don't regard no privatecy, for no feelins I don't care,

Let me shove but close enough to 'em for to 'ave a good fulh stare.

_ Joslyn whispers to us that we (our party) have had that party
(in the corner)'s fish, and the waiter whisks it away from the angry
man by the fire to place it before the famished sufferer.

Angry man, who begins to think he's lost a chance of something,

at any rate,begins, " But, I say, waiter, I ordered--"

" Comin', Sorr, derectly," replies the Irish attendant soothingly,
and vanishes.

Match-Makers to the RescLie

" Ex luce lucellum .' "
How if makers mis-tell um ?
And boys cease to sell um ?
And buyers expel um P
Fer, Lucifer, helium !
Bob Lowii ocettum
Confodi tenellum .'

' Knowing men" are usually known men—in fact, more known
than trusted.

And when I can't run arter 'em, because at 'ome they keeps,
I tries to hoverlook their walls, and through their palins peeps.

There's relicks, 0 'ow 'appy I should be if sitch was mine !
I would set 'em on a halter, and I'd keep 'em in a shrine.
If I'd 'a got a pair of Boots which vunce a Hemp'ror wore,
I do think I should set 'em up for a Idol to adore.

Derby Donkeys.

We read that, lately, a multitude of simpletons at Derby united
in an Anti-Vaccination demonstration to celebrate the release from
gaol of a tobacconist named Clarke, "whose devotion to anti-
vaccination," says the report of this tomfoolery, had " resulted in.
his incarceration for fourteen days in the county gaol." They formed
a procession headed by a Scotch piper playing a national airland
" there was also a lad in front waving the Red Republican flag/' Do
the donkeys of Derby want the Scarlet Fever as well as the Small-
pox ? Are they not contented with the breaking-out they have got.