Punch (60.1871)

186

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[May 6, 1871.

CONSIDERATE CRITICISM.

Rustic (to his Friend). " Wa—al, tha's Better than dotx' o' Nawth'n', I s'poos', Geakge

ST. PAUL'S SERMON PROM ST. PATRICK'S TEXT.

Oh, London is a big place, and Dublin is a little one,
And St. Paul's on fame has a fast hold, where St. Patrick's has a
brittle one.

And if Dublin could boast a big brewer of stout in the late Sir

Benjamin Guinness,
Our Barclay and Perkins is to him as a first-rate to a pinnace.
But Sir Benjamin Guinness he put down his thousand a hundred

and thirty,

To cleanse and restore St. Patrick's, dilapidated and dirty,
And now here's Sir Henry Roe, another stout Dublin citizen,
Of Cathedral restoration an equally hot fit is in.
And all to the honour of his high-prized, but no longer, alas, high-
priced Church,

Undertakes to raise from its ruins Dublin's sister-cathedral Christ-
Church.

And, eke, for the ousted Establishment that he was born and bred in,
To build a handsome Synod-House, to lay its evicted old head in.
Ah me, when will London's citizen-roll show us its Roe and its
Guinness,

For all so big as is London's talk, and abundant as London tin is!
Where will she find, 'mong the city-mice who to fatness have fed
on her fat ricks

One to do for St. Paul's, what Guinness and Roe have for Christ-
church done and St. Patrick's ?

Come enter my gates, you money-grubs, from your courts, and
alleys, and slums busy,

And look upon me, to your shame—" si opprobrium quceras—cir-
cumspice ! "

Here I stand, Wren's masterpiece, in your midst, all naked and
unfinished,

With my noble interior blank and bare, and my fair proportions
'minished,

For want of the colour to warm me, and the gold for their defining,
And starve in the cold, while at my feet you are in your Guildhall
dining:

Rich enough among the lot of you with sovereigns to tile my
dome in,

Nor feel a penny the poorer each civic millionnaire's home m,
Yet Dublin can find two citizens; when London in vain may seek
one,

To do more for her two poor churches, than you for ycui
unique one !

So no wonder disgust has waked to speech the tongue in my bricks
and mortar,

And that St. Paul's face blushes to look, at St. Patrick's across
the water !

CAUTION TO CLERGYMEN.

On Monday afternoon, last week, the first of a series of lectures
" designed to counteract the progress of unbelief among the educated
classes of society," was given in St. George's Hall, Langham Place,
by the Archbishop of York. It was specially directed against the
theory of Development of Species, and appears, by a report of it, to
have consisted mainly of general observations, which had been made
before. Towards the achievement of the desirable end which is that
of these lectures, here is the contribution of a little doggerel:—

Would you win Latitude ?
Will you by Platitude?

To which may be added the suggestion, that your discourse should
never be as long as it is usually wide.

"Ex Luce Lucellum."

TO WASTE-PAPER DEALERS.—To be Disposed of : An immense
quantity of unmatched Classical Literature, the writer having no turthei
use for it, and the authorities of the House compelling immediate clearance.
Tenders to be sent to " L. L.", Brimstone Budget Office, Somerset House.

N.B. This is an opportunity that will never occur a<*ain, as Mr. L. L. has
resolved in future to get his Tax first, and consult the Classics afterwards.