Punch (60.1871)

BADINAGE.

Facetious Bus-Driver (offering to pull up). " 'Ere y'are, Sir. Look sharp, Btll, and 'elp the Gen'leman in with his
Luggage ! " Chimney-Sweep (whose self-respect is hurt) uses strong language !

Bus-Driver. "Beg Pard'n, Sir. Gen'leman ain't for us, Bill. He's a lookin' out for a 'Hatlas.' Goin' to Madam

toosawd's, to ave his statty done in WAX-WORK ! ! "

MORALS AT THE ACADEMY.

Dear Mr. Punch,

You were obliging enough to request my attendance at the
Iloyal Academy on the Wednesday before the Private View. On
; that Wednesday cards of admission were given to Critics only. Sir,
I was much flattered by the compliment you paid me, but I hope
that you will not send me again on such a day. I didn't like it.

Of course I could see all the Pictures with perfect ease. In fact,
I had nothing else to do but to look at them, and I frequently had
an entire gallery to myself. The Academy meant to be very cour-
teous. But there is such a thing as too much politeness, though I
admit that it is not often seen.

I should like to ask the Academy, and you, Sir, how a fellow is
to stand in judgment on 1338 works of Art, with nobody to give him
hints, advise him, and tell him what other folks think ? How can
he tell which pictures are to be the talk of the Season unless he sees
people crowding round them ? I flatter myself that I can knock off
a graphic sketch of a picture-show as well as anybody else, if I can
collect the general chatter of a room, and get a painter or two to put
me up to a few blemishes or merits. But to send a man into the
wilderness, as it were, and sentence him to solitary confinement
while he finds out things for himself—I say, Sir, that it is a bit of
combined editorial tyranny and academical cynicism.

However, Sir, I did my duty, as a British Critic usually does in
any circumstances. I marked, my Catalogue, and 1 briefly report
the leading features of the Exhibition.

There were cloths on the floors, and covers on the sofas. A very
intelligent workman, in shirt-sleeves, was banging and cleaning the
long seat in the Sculpture Gallery.- Persons were bringing up
flowers in pots, I presume for the banquet. A gentleman was
sketching the big gallery, probably far a pictorial newspaper. ISTo
refreshments were to be procured. Anticipating this, I had bought
a Bath bun at the corner of Bond Street. This (the bun—Henri-

etta Street, but I was not so hungry as Henry) I ate at 1"30 p.m. in
Gallery JSTo. IV.

Some of the Academicians exhibit, some do not. Mr. Millais-
has a landscape, and the moral is that a man of genius can do what-
ever he likes. In fact I am delighted to say that All the pictures
have Morals, and perhaps I may as well confine myself to pointing
these out, as mere art-criticism can be had everywhere. Mr. Cal-
deron has a splendid lady who is going to her throne, and who is
just being finished off by her coiffeur, the moral being that the
humblest service should not be despised by the exalted. Mr. Elmore
has a beautiful girl carried away on a terrible black horse by a dead
lover, the moral being that when a lover is dead he should be for-
gotten by a well-brought-up lady. Mr. Frith has a great gambling
scene, in which the evil passions and suffering produced by that
vicious yet fascinating pursuit are set forth in an instructive manner.
Mr. Eaed has a fractious child, kindly treated, showing mothers
that though wilfulness is to be whipped, indisposition should be
indulged. The President has a hunting subj'ect, teaching us that
splendid health, in man and beast, is obtained only by exercise. Mr.
Hook has a benevolent youth extracting a thorn from the foot of a
patient dog, and the lesson is one of humanity to the brute creation,
and also that we should submit quietly to those who try to do us
good. Mr. Horsley's two paintings of a husband and wife, respec-
tively, warming themselves, have a subtler lesson, which is, that if
a husband neglects a wife, he may suffer for it. Mr. Knight _ has
some admirable portraits, the moral of which is, that no person is so
uninteresting, but that Art can invest him with interest. This, Sir,
is often shown in pictures of yourself.

Mr. Charles Landseer has three wayfarers, who warn us against
being indolent or extravagant, and thus being_ reduced to poverty,
though he also shows that the domestic affections survive wealth.
Among the morals taught by Mr. Leighton is one on the sea-shore,
where we find that the simplest actions may be invested with the
most exquisite grace. Mr. Poole, treating a Shakspearian subject,
warns us against hastily yielding to a belief that misfortune has