DOI issue:
August 15, 1874
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16939#0082
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 15, 1K74
WESTRY WISEACRES.
St. Bumpus Ward.
Sm,—As you may not, perhaps, be aware that the watering of
our streets is now managed by a Special Committee, chosen from
our most intelligent Vestrymen, and known as the Insanitary Com-
mittee, I send you a condensed report of their last meeting.
Your own Misinformant.
Mr. A. thought the streets required watering.
Mr. B. urged that it would be flying in the face of Providence to
alter the results of hot weather—one of which was dust.
Mr. C. differed from Mr. B. on the Education Question.
Mr. D. thought water-carts looked most natural on a rainy day.
Mr. E. considered dust rather agreeable than otherwise.
Mr. F. suggested a compromise. Empty water-carts would not
be objectionable.
Mr. G. was astounded at the indifference of members to great
principles. Let them draw up a petition for Disestablishment
without delay.
Mr. H. differed on principle from anything advanced by Mr. G.
Mr. I. thought if dust kept people at home, so much the better.
Mr. J. wondered if the Bank would advance the rate of discount.
Mr. K. said one half of the carts were too shabby to send out.
Mr. L. said the other half were newly painted, and it would be a
shame to send them out on a dusty road.
Mr. M. asked for a return of the denominational differences
between members of the Committee.
Mr. K. considered dust good for the dress trade.
Mr. 0. did not think there was any dust to complain of.
Mr. P. remarked that it was easy to see the two last speakers
were drapers.
Mr. Q. suggested that India-rubber-ware manufacturers should
not throw stones.
Mr. R. did not put sand in his sugars like some people.
The observations of the next few speakers were inaudible, but a
great deal of the furniture changed places, and several members o
the Committee were carried away by their feelings, and the Police.
Order having been restored,
Mr. Y. Z. remarked that the discussion was interesting, but su-
perfluous, as there had been no water supply for some weeks.
Thereupon it was unanimously resolved—
That the old carts be sent to repair.
That the new ones be sent to the South Kensington Museum,
That the drivers and horses be incorporated with the Volunteer
Artillery for the Autumn Manoeuvres.
That the Committee do adjourn until wet weather.
A Dry Humorist.
Sir Wilfrid Lawson, is becoming conspicuous as a rising joker ;
in the House of Commons. He poured out upon Fiji annexation a
flow of eloquence worthy of comparison with a rollicking after-
supper oration delivered near Cross time by a (cultivated and refined)
Chairman of a “ free-and-easy.” Can such eloquence be inspired by
mere tea? For all his championship of the doleful United Kingdom
Alliance, it cannot be denied that Sir Wilfred is a fit representa-
tive of “merry Carlisle.”
A Labour for Hercules.
The Government has directed Sir Hercules Robinson to proceed
to the Fiji Islands in order to see whether their annexation to this
country is advisable. According to Sir Charles Dilke, whoever
annexes Fiji “ will have twenty thousand ferocious mountaineers to
subjugate and remove.” That would be a labour worthy of Her-
cules, to which, if appointed him, let us hope that Robinson will
prove equal.
THE CAR-DRIVINGEST NATION IN THE WORLD.
Saxon Tourist. “ Stop ! Stop ! I say. You’ve passed the Road here on the Left ! ”
Car-Drivingest One. “ Agh, shure I know’t right well, an’ I thrav’lin’ on the Road this Twinty Year ! But what
SIGNIFIES, YER HONOUR, WHIN 1 WANT TO BATE THE LAD FORENINST ! SHURE, I ’LL R0WL YE BACK AGAIN FOR KOTHIN’, AN’
that’s Fair Play, quite convanient to any Spot ye mintion ! ! ”
[August 15, 1K74
WESTRY WISEACRES.
St. Bumpus Ward.
Sm,—As you may not, perhaps, be aware that the watering of
our streets is now managed by a Special Committee, chosen from
our most intelligent Vestrymen, and known as the Insanitary Com-
mittee, I send you a condensed report of their last meeting.
Your own Misinformant.
Mr. A. thought the streets required watering.
Mr. B. urged that it would be flying in the face of Providence to
alter the results of hot weather—one of which was dust.
Mr. C. differed from Mr. B. on the Education Question.
Mr. D. thought water-carts looked most natural on a rainy day.
Mr. E. considered dust rather agreeable than otherwise.
Mr. F. suggested a compromise. Empty water-carts would not
be objectionable.
Mr. G. was astounded at the indifference of members to great
principles. Let them draw up a petition for Disestablishment
without delay.
Mr. H. differed on principle from anything advanced by Mr. G.
Mr. I. thought if dust kept people at home, so much the better.
Mr. J. wondered if the Bank would advance the rate of discount.
Mr. K. said one half of the carts were too shabby to send out.
Mr. L. said the other half were newly painted, and it would be a
shame to send them out on a dusty road.
Mr. M. asked for a return of the denominational differences
between members of the Committee.
Mr. K. considered dust good for the dress trade.
Mr. 0. did not think there was any dust to complain of.
Mr. P. remarked that it was easy to see the two last speakers
were drapers.
Mr. Q. suggested that India-rubber-ware manufacturers should
not throw stones.
Mr. R. did not put sand in his sugars like some people.
The observations of the next few speakers were inaudible, but a
great deal of the furniture changed places, and several members o
the Committee were carried away by their feelings, and the Police.
Order having been restored,
Mr. Y. Z. remarked that the discussion was interesting, but su-
perfluous, as there had been no water supply for some weeks.
Thereupon it was unanimously resolved—
That the old carts be sent to repair.
That the new ones be sent to the South Kensington Museum,
That the drivers and horses be incorporated with the Volunteer
Artillery for the Autumn Manoeuvres.
That the Committee do adjourn until wet weather.
A Dry Humorist.
Sir Wilfrid Lawson, is becoming conspicuous as a rising joker ;
in the House of Commons. He poured out upon Fiji annexation a
flow of eloquence worthy of comparison with a rollicking after-
supper oration delivered near Cross time by a (cultivated and refined)
Chairman of a “ free-and-easy.” Can such eloquence be inspired by
mere tea? For all his championship of the doleful United Kingdom
Alliance, it cannot be denied that Sir Wilfred is a fit representa-
tive of “merry Carlisle.”
A Labour for Hercules.
The Government has directed Sir Hercules Robinson to proceed
to the Fiji Islands in order to see whether their annexation to this
country is advisable. According to Sir Charles Dilke, whoever
annexes Fiji “ will have twenty thousand ferocious mountaineers to
subjugate and remove.” That would be a labour worthy of Her-
cules, to which, if appointed him, let us hope that Robinson will
prove equal.
THE CAR-DRIVINGEST NATION IN THE WORLD.
Saxon Tourist. “ Stop ! Stop ! I say. You’ve passed the Road here on the Left ! ”
Car-Drivingest One. “ Agh, shure I know’t right well, an’ I thrav’lin’ on the Road this Twinty Year ! But what
SIGNIFIES, YER HONOUR, WHIN 1 WANT TO BATE THE LAD FORENINST ! SHURE, I ’LL R0WL YE BACK AGAIN FOR KOTHIN’, AN’
that’s Fair Play, quite convanient to any Spot ye mintion ! ! ”