Punch (67.1874)

210 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November 14, 1874.

THE TRiALS OF A DISTRICT VISITOR.

The Honourable Miss Fuzbuz (loq.). “ Is Mks. Higgins within ? ”

Mrs. Tomkins. “ I’ll Call ’er, M’um.” (At the top of her Voice.) “Mbs. ’Ig— gins ! Ere’s the Person with the Trao’s ! ”
(To the Honourable Miss.) “ The Lady will be down presently, M’um ! !”

DOGMATISTS ON DOGMAS.

In a pastoral relative to the late meeting of the British Association
at Belfast, and the addresses of Professors Tyndall and Huxley,
Cardinal Cullen and his subordinate Bishops and Archbishops of
Ireland instruct the Faithful and the Public that:—

“Enlightened by the teachings of the Church, the Catholic may view in
peace, and even with delight, the progress of science. If he hears of a contra-
diction between science and religion, it will soon be found only an appearance
of contradiction; or if a contradiction really exists, it will be found that the
boasted discovery which creates it is but an ephemeral theory, and not the
truth ; or if its truth be beyond gainsay, and the contradiction plain, then the
doctrine with which it is in conflict will be found to be but a theological
opinion and not a dogma, or if it be a dogma, it has been misunderstood or
not explained according to the mind of the Church.”

So it seems that a doctrine which, under the name of a dogma,
has always passed for true, may ultimately prove false. Or a dogma
heretofore stated in one form of words may hy-and-by have to be
restated in another. The dogmatist who shall have survived these
changes will be fit to go about singing, like the Dutchman in the
burlesque :—

“ 0 where and 0 where is my Pet Dogma gone ?

0 where and 0 where is he ?

With his facts proved false, and his terms proved wrong,

0 where 0 where can he be ? ”

. Could not Dr. Cullen and his co-dogmatists publish, on autho-
rity, a Syllabus of the dogmas which may after all turn out to be
mere opinions, or may sooner or later have to be modified ? If this
were done, perhaps it would warrant the expectation that, after all,
there may be found to be not very much dogmatic difference between
Dr. Cullen and. Dr. Gumming. If Theology goes on caving in to
Science as occasion may require, Theology—even Cullen’s Theology
—will doubtless become pretty well reconciled to Science in the end.
The only point on which philosophers and dogmatists will then be

at variance will he the necessity of submission to dogmatic authority
for the time being. In the meanwhile, are all dogmas whatsoever,
current as such, to be indiscriminately believed, under pain of
excommunication ?

THE FINE OLD RAILWAY PASSENGER.

(Air—Obvious)

I ’ll sing you a brand new song of the melancholy fate
Of a fine Old Railway Passenger, of limited estate,

Who always liked to travel at the intermediate rate,

And tipped the porter to reserve the seat in which he sate,

Like a fine Old Railway Passenger,

One of the Second Class.

His brow so bold was snugly sheathed in a cosy sealskin cap,
And he had a rug to case his knees whene’er he took a nap,

And he looked as if for all the world he didn’t care a rap,

With his hands, in town-sewed dogskins, reposing in his lap,
Like a fine Old Railway Passenger,

One of the Second Class.

But all at length must bend to fate, whatever may betide,

And the “Midland,” which he travels by, a novel scheme have
tried; . , ,,

So henceforth now by “ First ” or “ Third” this good old man
must ride,

Which will involve a struggle ’twixt the pocket and the pride
Of this fine Old Railway Passenger,

Late of the Second Class.

AMONG THE LAWYERS.

On the first day of Term Mrs. Malaprop went to Westminster,
to witness the opening of the Courts. Having so often heard of the
puny Judges, she was agreeably surprised at their size.