DOI issue:
December 5, 1874
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16939#0245
238 PUNCH, OB, THE LONDON CHABIVAEI. [December 5, 1874. J
ART IN EXCELSIS.
The Montgomery Spiffinses have just had their Drawing-Room Ceiling elaborately Decorated by artistic Hands. They
ARE MUCH GRATIFIED BY THE SENSATION PRODUCED UPON THEIR FRIENDS.
METHINKS !
Methinks the Streets and. Roads might be kept a little cleaner.
Methinks they will be when London is properly governed.
Methinks Mr. Gladstone will he relieved in future from much
inquisitive correspondence on the subject of his religious opinions.
Methinks Archbishop Manning will not officiate in Westminster
Abbey—at all events, for the present.
Methinks the Pope will not send his blessing (favoured by the
Archbishop) to Lords Acton and Cahoys, &c.
Methinks Mr. Disraeli must regret a certain passage in his
Guildhall speech.
Methinks Ministers must he very reluctant to come back to
London, and hold Cabinet Councils.
Methinks their first duty is to deliberate how best to protect the
Oyster.
Methinks the Prince and Princess of Wales must be enjoying
their holiday at Sandringham, safe from all addresses and present-
ations.
Methinks Spain must be a highly uncomfortable country to live in.
Methinks Mr. Irving’s performance of Hamlet will induce a
great many persons to read that play—for the first time in their lives.
Methinks the number of people who understand anything about
the Transit of Yenus must be very limited.
Methinks we want a good novel or two.
Methinks rising in the morning becomes daily more and more
difficult.
Methinks the Ladies are wearing their kicking-straps more than
a little too large.
Methinks this is an odd time of year to announce a new Polar
expedition.
Methinks the season is rapidly approaching for Christmas books,
Christmas bills, Christmas cards, Christmas cheer, Christmas ham-
pers, and Christmas boxes.
Methinks November is not such a very bad month after all for
people with wine, good dinners to eat, good liquor to drink, and
good houses to live in.
“PROHIBITIONIST” PREACHING.
In a letter to the Times, protesting, in a tone of imperious fana-
ticism, against the suggestion of “ a compromise between Abstainers
and Prohibitionists, on the one side, and those who have hitherto
stood aloof from them on the other side,” Mr. Dawson Burns
dogmatises as follows:—
“ The assumed analogy between corn and wine cannot be maintained, unless
the wine be the wine of the cluster. The constituents and properties of
natural produce are not to be confounded with the qualities of liquors flowing
from the fermenting vat and the still. Every test applied by chemistry and
common sense indicates a remarkable difference.”
Does it ? What sort of liquor was that new wine which was not
to be put into old bottles ? What was that new wine for whose
effects the manifestations of certain persons, once upon a time
imagined to be full of it, was mistaken ? What was the quality of
those wines of which every man who gave a banquet was wont to
set forth the better at the beginning, and when his guests had well
drunk, then that which was worse ? The wine of the cluster,
doubtless ; but was it not also the product of fermentation, and for
those who took too much of it an “intoxicating liquor”? Mr.
Dawson Burns is reputed to be a Dissenting Minister. Who can
tell to what length his Dissent extends ?
Australian Gold Measures.
Glorious news has been telegraphed to Melbourne from the Gold
Diggings at Carisbrook. Gold has been found there in quartz ; the
former in such quantity as to hold the latter together. _ Thus the
gold in the quartz appears to be as solid and substantial as any
pewter. Four dishfuls of quartz produced as much as two pounds
weight of gold; and ‘ ‘ are reported to be more gold and quartz than
quartz and gold.” We are further informed that “ a rush of
speculators has set in” to the auriferous quartz. Of course, they
must expect to take, and doubtless hope to be satisfied with pot-
luck.
ART IN EXCELSIS.
The Montgomery Spiffinses have just had their Drawing-Room Ceiling elaborately Decorated by artistic Hands. They
ARE MUCH GRATIFIED BY THE SENSATION PRODUCED UPON THEIR FRIENDS.
METHINKS !
Methinks the Streets and. Roads might be kept a little cleaner.
Methinks they will be when London is properly governed.
Methinks Mr. Gladstone will he relieved in future from much
inquisitive correspondence on the subject of his religious opinions.
Methinks Archbishop Manning will not officiate in Westminster
Abbey—at all events, for the present.
Methinks the Pope will not send his blessing (favoured by the
Archbishop) to Lords Acton and Cahoys, &c.
Methinks Mr. Disraeli must regret a certain passage in his
Guildhall speech.
Methinks Ministers must he very reluctant to come back to
London, and hold Cabinet Councils.
Methinks their first duty is to deliberate how best to protect the
Oyster.
Methinks the Prince and Princess of Wales must be enjoying
their holiday at Sandringham, safe from all addresses and present-
ations.
Methinks Spain must be a highly uncomfortable country to live in.
Methinks Mr. Irving’s performance of Hamlet will induce a
great many persons to read that play—for the first time in their lives.
Methinks the number of people who understand anything about
the Transit of Yenus must be very limited.
Methinks we want a good novel or two.
Methinks rising in the morning becomes daily more and more
difficult.
Methinks the Ladies are wearing their kicking-straps more than
a little too large.
Methinks this is an odd time of year to announce a new Polar
expedition.
Methinks the season is rapidly approaching for Christmas books,
Christmas bills, Christmas cards, Christmas cheer, Christmas ham-
pers, and Christmas boxes.
Methinks November is not such a very bad month after all for
people with wine, good dinners to eat, good liquor to drink, and
good houses to live in.
“PROHIBITIONIST” PREACHING.
In a letter to the Times, protesting, in a tone of imperious fana-
ticism, against the suggestion of “ a compromise between Abstainers
and Prohibitionists, on the one side, and those who have hitherto
stood aloof from them on the other side,” Mr. Dawson Burns
dogmatises as follows:—
“ The assumed analogy between corn and wine cannot be maintained, unless
the wine be the wine of the cluster. The constituents and properties of
natural produce are not to be confounded with the qualities of liquors flowing
from the fermenting vat and the still. Every test applied by chemistry and
common sense indicates a remarkable difference.”
Does it ? What sort of liquor was that new wine which was not
to be put into old bottles ? What was that new wine for whose
effects the manifestations of certain persons, once upon a time
imagined to be full of it, was mistaken ? What was the quality of
those wines of which every man who gave a banquet was wont to
set forth the better at the beginning, and when his guests had well
drunk, then that which was worse ? The wine of the cluster,
doubtless ; but was it not also the product of fermentation, and for
those who took too much of it an “intoxicating liquor”? Mr.
Dawson Burns is reputed to be a Dissenting Minister. Who can
tell to what length his Dissent extends ?
Australian Gold Measures.
Glorious news has been telegraphed to Melbourne from the Gold
Diggings at Carisbrook. Gold has been found there in quartz ; the
former in such quantity as to hold the latter together. _ Thus the
gold in the quartz appears to be as solid and substantial as any
pewter. Four dishfuls of quartz produced as much as two pounds
weight of gold; and ‘ ‘ are reported to be more gold and quartz than
quartz and gold.” We are further informed that “ a rush of
speculators has set in” to the auriferous quartz. Of course, they
must expect to take, and doubtless hope to be satisfied with pot-
luck.